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Hello! I have not been on this site for a very long time due to committments with college and just life in general, but I am proud to announce that due to changes in events I will be attempting yet again to make this a permanent hobbie. :)
I have always enjoyed giving advice and as I have gotten older I am proud to say that I am able to realize that I do give good advice. I have many friends who do come to me seeking advice, and I always try to see both ends of the spectrum and feel that judging people is not a good way to help them.
I also apologize to all those who sent inbox's to me since I went away and I am now going to try my best to answer all of the messages I get within the same week. Now on with the questions!
What qualifies you to help people?
I have nothing offical that says I am able to help people, but I have a unique prespective on things which enables me to understand how someone must feel. I at a very young age had to be exposed to things that were out of mine and my families control and as my teenage years approached, I saw many more problems arising. My main reason as too whyI enjoy helping people is because I myself have been in positions where I needed an outsiders point of view. I think websites like this allow people to get honest advice on situations that some people might not be able to talk about to those around them.
However I do believe that some aunts and uncles on this site can be too forceful, as after all this site is about advice and no one is inclined to be forced to take it. I believe that harsh advice just makes people feel worse about a situation which why I try to give constructive criticism in a nice way, as only the OP truly understand the problems they have.
Where do you live?
I live in the UK, England, in a small coastal town which is the most easternly point in England and even though this town may seem like a nice little haven for tourists every summer, it has been incredibly hard to grow up surrounded by people who you have known since nursery. Also as I live in a small town, everyone knows everyone's business which is more a hindrance than anything. Hard times as of late, have fallen upon my town due to the recession and because of the lack of opportunities, however hopefully I will be able to think about where else I would like to live in the foreseeable future.
What makes you tick?
All sorts of things. I can't stand selfish people or ungrateful people... I think everyone should value what they have as in this day and age there is more important issues at hand than who has the newest Iphone. I think my generation is far too materialistic and I hate it when people are brought up getting everything handed to them on a plate, as from a young age I had to fight for everything I have. I also don't like judgemental people or liar's, who has time for those sort of people anyway? ;)
What's your relationship status?
I am currently in a relationship :) And so far it is going well. I am not very experienced when it comes too relationships as I have only ever had two, and both of them I had at a a very young age. I do believe that relationships are definitely better to have when you are an adult, as I found the stress and strain of both of my relationships took a lot of fun out of what should been the best years of my life. I am hoping that this relationship turns out well as I had been single before now for a good year or so. So all I can do is hope for the best :)
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| Latest articles: Domestic Abuse: My Story- Part 1
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 July 2015: Okay... Well basically I have recently come out of an abusive relationship and I have had a lot of time to sit and reflect on my relationship as a whole, and I have decided I want to share my story of domestic abuse, as an attempt to both educate ...
Dating tip: determine your five non-negotiables!
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 January 2014: Hey! Been a while since i've done one of these and I just want to share a little tip with those who might be dating or have had some trouble with relationships in the past and might want to find a way to find someone who they aren't going to get ...
My story, update and appreciation to everyone who has helped me.
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 December 2012: I haven't wrote an article on this site recently and well I think its about time as i'm so valued here that I update my life, and well give everyone an insight to why I came on this site and why I love giving people advice and help. ...
Find a Motivation and succeed against the biggest health issues. My Story
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
24 December 2011: At the begining of the year i was in pieces, i cannot even describe how i felt this time last year and i am sure only people who have ever been through something similar to what i have been through can imagine how bad it felt. It was Decemebe...
Things that you love about yourself and dislike about yourself
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
5 December 2011: Basically i find these days that people either are extreamly hypocritcal where they think everyone has something wrong with them except them, or people have very low self esteem (including myself). I have learnt in the last year tha...
My story of how karma really can bite you. And why empathy is important in relationships
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 November 2011: Well basically I am 14 years old and i would like to share a story which really really changed my way that I view the world and why you shouldn't take people for granted. All names included in this stroy are made up ones. I had a friend n...
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Is it right for my husband to leave me despite having a high risk pregnancy to go on holiday?
Q. i have been married for a few months. i am 34 weeks pregnant, with a history of heart disease, and classified high risk pregancy. my husband lobied for a paid for 2 months vacation out of the country with his employers and really excited about it. i ...
A. 28 October 2011: wow he really sounds like he isn't willing to help or compromise.
A relationship is built around three main things in my books Trust, Commitment and Love. It sounds like lately he has been neglecting all of these.
... (read in full...)
I've realised I made a mistake and I was too needy, how do I make things right?
Q. Hello agony aunts and uncles. I need your help badly! I broke up with my boyfriend who've I've been with for 6 months about a week ago because we don't live close enough to see each other everyday. He started to ignore my texts and when I'd call ...
A. 28 October 2011: Yes hormoans could of been one of the reasons you got so angry as i am sure your aware when your pregnant mood swings can go off the rails.
However you typed those words and you were generally irratted so despite horm... (read in full...)
Spiders? Heights? I have a Phobia of statues! Any solutions or people with my Statues phobia?
Q. Oh hey its me again! Just an odd little qeustion, i have automonophobia and i was just updating my profile and wondered "hmmm i wonder if anyone else has it." So i thought id ask some of you lovely lot and wheather anyone has it. ...
A. 28 October 2011: Thanks for your suggestions, and Chigirl yes i have touched one once before ( a manniquin) unfortunely it then fell on me which made it ten times worse.
But i will take on your suggestions about facing it head... (read in full...)
Will we get together? And if not what should I do about being his "bit on the side"?
Q. Me and an old friend have started talking a lot more like we use too. We did stop talking for a bit because we both was busy. we have been flirting like we use too, however he is 2years older than me and he has a girlfriend. I do enjoy spending time ...
A. 27 October 2011: How can you be so sure that if you did happen to get together and your relationship was going through abit of a rough patch he wouldn't go and cheat on you like he did with the other girl? He may just like you said want abit on ... (read in full...)
Should I stay or should I go?
Q. I met this guy online and when i asked him if he lived in Singapore, he told me no, but he would be back four weeks later. I waited for a month and during that month, I spent my time talking to him. I am impressed and instantly know I love the ...
A. 27 October 2011: I think you should tell him straight, tell him that he has completely got you wrong ( be nice at first) say you are an expierenced independent and confident women who has dreams hopes like anyone else. Say that you are sorry if he has read your ... (read in full...)
Online dating - no-one replies to my messages! How do I make girls interested in me?
Q. I have been using dating sites for quite some time now but no one seems to be interested replying me. I might not have look of Tom Cruise but I am not that bad either. So What I need to do to make girls interested in me and finally get a ...
A. 27 October 2011: It all depends what dating website you are on, some dating websites alow you to set up your own profile and really jazz it up. Make sure you put some intresting info on your profile and ovbiously its important to put a picture on there to... (read in full...)
My past is coming back to haunt me.....
Q. I have a very big problem about my past and I'm not sure how to handle it. My husband I are married almost 10 years, and together over 10 years. My husband thinks that I was not only a virgin when we started dating, but he also thinks that I was CO...
A. 27 October 2011: Sometimes peace of mind is worth alot. As i am sure you and your husband love eachother very much not to mention you have been together so long i am sure he will understand if you was not 100% honest about your sexual past. There are many peo... (read in full...)
I'm so ashamed and afraid that I have an STD!
Q. this summer i made a huge mistake. i hooked up with a guy and we both performed oral on each other. he didnt cum though. he had had a few oral sexual partners before, and had said he never showed any symptoms for stds. i have shown none as well but ...
A. 27 October 2011: One last thing i forgot to mention. If you do feel that you want to get a test done then here in England (i don't know if its the same in USA) we have something called Family Planning clinics its basically a clinic for anyone with family problems ... (read in full...)
What can happen if you are found guilty of kissing somebody of 13 years old, and your 20.
Q. OK a simple question. If somebody is 20 years old, and they kiss somebody underage (13), and there is evidence of it, such as witnesses, or pictures, etc. And if Police do get involved etc, what can happen?? As far as I know, (but this is ...
A. 27 October 2011: Yeah i think it is illegal. It isn't illegal to have a relationship with a minor but it IS illegal to do anything sexual with a minor. Which includes kissing.
I know with the whole minor thing and age limi... (read in full...)
Is a tan a turn on? Guys and girls, your thoughts on whether tan lines are a turn off?
Q. I personally think it's a bit shallow for one to complain about tan lines on their partner, but that being said, I'm one who loves to soak up the sun in summer and obviously when I'm by the pool or at the beach with my friends, I'm not going to be ...
A. 27 October 2011: My personal opinion on tan lines? Strangely enough i think they look kind of silly and as soo many people are always so desperate to get a tan and some people especially round my area areee sooooo tanned they do look like oranges.
... (read in full...)
I'm so ashamed and afraid that I have an STD!
Q. this summer i made a huge mistake. i hooked up with a guy and we both performed oral on each other. he didnt cum though. he had had a few oral sexual partners before, and had said he never showed any symptoms for stds. i have shown none as well but ...
A. 27 October 2011: Well there we go. You shouldn't of had casual oral sex with a guy you didn't know that well. If he had somthing like HIV it would ruin your life for ever. And even minor stds would prove to be quite embarassing such as Herpes or Gonoria.
And ... (read in full...)
Does she need extra attention?
Q. Does she love me or what? she spend most of her free time on social sites flirting with guys and when i bring it to her attention she acts like omg its just tumblr. wtf u doing rbloggin these guys pics? does she care or whats going on...
A. 27 October 2011: Are you two in a relationship? If not and shes flirting with guys then she probably doesn't have any feelings for you if shes sending pics of herself to other men.
If you are in a relationship you ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend cheated on me and now I can't trust anyone
Q. Why would he do that to me? what did I ever do to him:(? I loved my ex boyfriend so much, I thought he loved me too. He was so sweet and so lovely but then he asked to go on a break and started acting weird. Then he broke up with me saying h...
A. 27 October 2011: Your pileing guilt onto of yourself which is making you feel worse.
I know at times like these its hard not to ask yourself "but why?" but the answer is who knows? i'm sure he doesn't even know 100% himself it just sounds like he is sayi... (read in full...)
I haven't had many boyfriends. Where is the best place to meet someone?
Q. I'm 26 and not had many boyfriends, i'm quite shy and don't go out much - most of my friends have moved away and i prefer saving money. Where is the best place to meet someone? Are any online dating sites good?...
A. 27 October 2011: Here are some good dating sites which are situated in the UK:
http://www.eharmony.co.uk/
https://www.zoosk.com/
http://www.datingdirect.com
http://uk.match.com
http://www.be2.co.uk/
http://www.matchaffinty.com
http://www.ben... (read in full...)
Should I write to my ex first or wait to see if he writes to me?
Q. ok my ex and I broke up 2 weeks ago (I am over it already because I know we have no future because we are too different) and a few days later I had a kind of date with another ex (well it actually wasn't supposed to be one) but he was flirty and ...
A. 27 October 2011: The only way your gonna find out if he has gone off you for whatever reason is if you write to him.
He could be at his house thinking exactly the same "has she gone off me? Do i wait for her to write back... (read in full...)
I'm confused as to his true intentions
Q. i have been hanging out with a guy who's normally used to casual relationships. i told him from the start that im not the type of girl that is okay with casual sex, but yet he still asks to see me almost every weekend. when we hang out we talk most ...
A. 27 October 2011: Really do agree with So_Very_Confused.
One more thing, if you are against casual things like sex and kissing etc. Then you can simply tell him unless your going out you don't want to do anything like that. He c... (read in full...)
My girlfriend cut off contact with me
Q. I've been in a serious relationship with my girlfriend for just over a year now. For the last month or so, things have been a bit hard, we've been fighting and arguing a lot and we haven't had much time together. She acts in a lot of plays and stud...
A. 26 October 2011: Well it is ovbious she is ignoring you and i don't know if its the same with you but the number one thing that p***es me off the most is when others ignore me.
Have you done anything recently which may of real... (read in full...)
He lied about his uncle being dead so he didn't have to see me
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years now. I recently moved to another city for university so seeing each other has been stressful. But we've been planning a big massive holiday together, go away for three-weeks to the beach, just the ...
A. 26 October 2011: Some people are just scum bags, and what he has done to you is horrible!
It shows that people aren't always who you think they are. I can't tell you why he did this to you only he knows that if you feel maybe that the only way now ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if I can take these rejections anymore! How do I stop myself getting carried away?
Q. I know this is probably one of the most common things on here so i apologize if i repaet anyone. Went on a first date the other day and when i asked the girl if she wanted to meet up again, she said she just wanted to be friends. I was very keen,...
A. 26 October 2011: I would say the feeling of rejection isn't ever going to completely go away but i would say it feels just abit easier each time and ovbiously dwelling on your first date and thinking why doesn't she want to go out again? or was it something i said ... (read in full...)
I've realised I made a mistake and I was too needy, how do I make things right?
Q. Hello agony aunts and uncles. I need your help badly! I broke up with my boyfriend who've I've been with for 6 months about a week ago because we don't live close enough to see each other everyday. He started to ignore my texts and when I'd call ...
A. 26 October 2011: Well yeah you messed up big time but i am glad unlike alot of people on here you have accepted that. Well what can i say your gonna kind of confuse him if now you say your sorry and you want him back when not... (read in full...)
Should I tell people I'm a virgin when I meet them?
Q. I'm 26 and still a virgin. I've not had many boyfriends, i'm quite shy and don't go out much - prefer saving money for holidays and concerts. Whenever i meet someone should I tell them i'm a virgin or not? Thanks...
A. 26 October 2011: 100% agree with caring guy. I wouldn't tell them untill you are ready for sex and committed to them in a relationship. ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if I can take these rejections anymore! How do I stop myself getting carried away?
Q. I know this is probably one of the most common things on here so i apologize if i repaet anyone. Went on a first date the other day and when i asked the girl if she wanted to meet up again, she said she just wanted to be friends. I was very keen,...
A. 26 October 2011: Even though i am so much younger than you i too hate rejection (not just in dating) but it is a horrible feeling to expierence and i know once you expierence it once you can kind of build up this irrational fear of feeling it again. ... (read in full...)
Which guy should I choose? I like them all!
Q. Okay so this is going to be long and I am really sorry for it. Okay so over the summer I ended up breaking u with my ex boyfriend, who is really sweet, kind and funny. I broke up with him because I was constantly mad around him and have no idea...
A. 26 October 2011: I find it kind of bad that you have gone ahead and started dating another boy when the one you recently broke up with is making the effort to sort things out with your dad, don't you think you should of waited or told him your with someone else?
... (read in full...)
Trying to make a teenage LDR work....
Q. ... So I have a girlfriend she lives in Texas and I live in Illinois were both very young and were in an LDR , it's gonna be like that for at least 3 more years . Longer for her I should say since she's graduating next year as to we're I have two ...
A. 26 October 2011: LDR's do not work for everyone. And unless you two work out how you can keep in contact regurally over phone or letter or whatever else then it won't work.
You have got to remember that the gap might prov... (read in full...)
Am I weird for not wanting to sleep around or cheat on my boyfriend? All my friends seem to be doing it!
Q. Why are my friends doing this? am I weird to think is wrong? My friends say am boring and I should change my rules when it comes to guys. I've always been the kind of girl to only kiss a guy or have sex with a guy when we're in a relationsh...
A. 26 October 2011: Yes it is true what your other friend say, these girls are ovbiously really shallow and i am sure they will look back when they are older and think of how immature they used to be (unfortunely i doubt some of them won't ever change)
... (read in full...)
I prefer giving rather than receiving! How common is this?
Q. Well I got a question, not really a problem. I like to give oral to my girlfriend, more then to get oral. Most of the people I know it's the other way around. anyone of you can recall this? ...
A. 26 October 2011: I am not expierenced in sex at all but i know that there are people who pefer giving that recieving simply because they get off the reactions there partners have rather than there own stimulation.... (read in full...)
Should I meet up with my ex? She has asked for a 'catch up chat'....
Q. My ex wants to meet for coffee and a "catch up chat". Do i meet up or stay away ?....We broke up at xmas last year after a 7 month relationship. I did not see her after i found she was cheating with her best friends husband. I truly was in love wit...
A. 26 October 2011: Its so hard when you breakup with someone you love, but i know it is easier said then done but it does go with time and commitment but you need to focus on letting go of her.
If you meet up with her i can garu... (read in full...)
She said she used to have a crush on me, so does she still have feelings for me now?
Q. While passing by my sister mid-conversation, I heard her say that if a girl brings up the fact that she HAD feelings for you (with no disclaimer) it's a fact that she still HAS feelings for you. This brings me to....well me. A friend from year...
A. 26 October 2011: 1. It really depends what sort of relationship you have with her i have a bestfriend and we sit under the same covers and watch movies and just talk almost everytime he comes round and there isn't anything wierd going on with us, its just were ... (read in full...)
Do you think this is just jealousy? What is going on with my friend?
Q. hi there peeps, Heres the deal, i feel bad for getting into a relationship and going against my friends advice...my friend now feels hurt. i cant figure out why when she goes against my advice and has lots of off days with me.... I spok...
A. 26 October 2011: Are you the sort of guy who always end up getting into relationships that go wrong and then go crying to J and she has to pick up the peices? If so you can see why she is abit annoyed.
However this is your life and you are free to m... (read in full...)
How can I start showing people who I really am and get to know girls better?
Q. I've been living with negative thoughts about myself and what other people think about me for a long time now. Heaps of people have said nice things but the negative stuff always overode this. For example, there are girls that have said this and ...
A. 26 October 2011: I am alot like you, I used to and still do infact bombard myself with all these negative thoughts about myself, despite what people would say.
There was a time when i was just surronded by friends who would say real... (read in full...)
Why do men have affairs despite not being ready to leave their partners?
Q. Why do married men like to have affairs with other women, though they are by no means ready to leave their legal wives? What is this mentality? Don't they have any fear for the consequence? Don't they feel anything bad about other parties (both wife ...
A. 26 October 2011: What i find with men like that who have an affair despite not wanting to leave there wifes is they normanally (not all the time) do it to spruce up there sex life. Some of them may still love there wifes but feel deprived in that area so they go ... (read in full...)
Would it be too much to give her a bracelet?
Q. Thanks in as ace for your help. Yes I am still in school. I really like this girl, she's in all my classes, and I talk to her once in a while. She has been with one of my friends for a week or two. They just broke up like a day ago. I was gonna aske ...
A. 26 October 2011: Well i defointly think the little bracelet thing you got going on there is a reallly great idea!
Also as its handmade it shows that you are willing to put the effort it.
... (read in full...)
Why do people complain about their LDR relationships when they are not really that far away from each other?
Q. Okay, now I don't know if I'm going off topic or something just tell me why do so many people I know who are in LDRs always complain when there only two or 3 hours apart from each other while me and my gf are 18 hours? It bothers me with a passion ...
A. 26 October 2011: Well you have got to take into concideration if someone maybe doesn't have that much money or traveling for them is really unconnvient or if they have a really difficult time period to work around.
But for people who do not ... (read in full...)
I like being happy but why do people at school say I'm retarded because I like to laugh?
Q. I'm a very happy person that likes to smile and laugh and for most times no reason I can't help it, I love to laugh and smile. At school people be mean to me and say I'm retarded because I like to laugh and smile. They say I shouldnt be happy that ...
A. 26 October 2011: Hey, well in my middle school i used to kind of be on the moon 247 when i went out with friends, and a couple of people would call me retarded or mental just because i was like a squirel on coffee throughout most the day.
... (read in full...)
What's his deal?
Q. I have a been with my boyfriend for 3 years now. He hates his current job and he has been trying to either find a better one or get into the master's program of his dreams. He has been feeling really down on himself because he has been receiving ...
A. 25 October 2011: It sounds to me like he is going through abit of a rough patch if hes getting rejection letter after letter he must feel really bummed out and feel like he isn't getting anywhere even if he is putting 110% into it. ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my current girlfriend that I was seeing my ex when we first got together? I'm afraid she'll dump me too!
Q. I have never told my current girlfriend of 10 months that I had a girlfriend before her and I always say that she’s my first love. My ex-girlfriend dumped me when she came to know that I was seeing this current girlfriend of mine behind her back...
A. 25 October 2011: If it is playing on your concious then sometimes its best to get things out in the open, if you feel telling your girlfriend will give you peace of mind then just do it.
It is horrible when you have a secr... (read in full...)
A thank you message!
Q. Hey, well this is basically a thankyou message for alot of aunts and uncles who over this past year have answered some of my qeustions. I have had the worst year imaginable and without this website and some of the answers which have been giving to ...
A. 25 October 2011: Ahh Thankyou :D ... (read in full...)
I need advice! Someone I thought was a dear friend has scammed me for 2.5years!
Q. can anyone advise me plaease. its taken me 2.5 years to realise the guy i thought was a dear friend has been using me and scamming me for money. i saved him from getting sacked and believed all his sob stories about being in financial trouble when ...
A. 25 October 2011: People like that normanally never change, he done a terrible thing in taking advantage of your kindness, if you want to be the bigger person let him get on with it someone like that cannot be your friend i would stop contacting him and if you have ... (read in full...)
My friends tell me he's dangerous
Q. dear cupid, i take guitar clases once a week, and i've been with this teacher for over a year. at first he seemed normal, but like he has become really weird now. He calls me stuff like princess and my love... he tells me he loves me and tha...
A. 25 October 2011: Well thats what guys like that try to do, unfortunely they single you out from groups and do something call grooming.
They will make you feel special and try as hard as they can to make you feel diff... (read in full...)
After hurting me so badly, why contact me 4 months later?
Q. i was hurt by a very close friend of mine,for me it was utter betrayal,and we just stopped contacting each other for some time(about 4 months),yesterday i received a very weird text message from her boyfriend,out of the blue,saying :are you still ...
A. 25 October 2011: Well at the beginging of the year i fell out with all my friends because of things like betrayal and stuff and like you 2 months after i droped all contact with them i got a similar message on facebook out of the blue, asking how i was and if i was ... (read in full...)
She says she loves me so why does she turn me down?
Q. I once proposed a girl and she turned me down,however she contied relying on me for anything she wanted.she started making sexy moves towards me but if i try to propose again she dismises the issue.if i cal her to go out for lunch she turns me ...
A. 25 October 2011: It kind of sounds to me like she might be using you. Relying on you for everything she wants and then not talking to you for ages.
That isnt love thats just selfishness.... (read in full...)
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