A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for three and a half years.We love each other and all, but we've broken up and made up numerous times. I feel I've changed drastically from being the fun girl to being the obsessed girlfriend. I feel as if I've lost myself in the way, not necessary blaming our relationship per say but I feel like I need time to figure myself out but how do I say that to him without hurting him or making him think I don't want him? I think as much as we are a couple I need to do this on my own, am I being unreasonable and selfish? I NEED HELPThank you for your time. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much AlmightyDuckx, it makes me feel at ease to know that there are some people who go through what i'm going through, better yet someone who've done something about it and actually worked to their advantage. I'll keep you guys posted.
A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (27 October 2012):
 HI
Yes please do keep me posted, and i'm sure it will all work out for the best. Just remember YOU have to be happy for you both to be happy and vice verser.
Mandy x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi MandieThank you for your responds, you've reassured me that I'm a loving girlfriend whom is just concerned with her relationship with her loving boyfriend. I'll keep you posted on what happens.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (27 October 2012):
HI
your not being selfish at all, your actually being very wise and also caring as you don't want to hurt him in any way. I would tell him that you need time to yourself, and that you really don't want to hurt him or end it with him, you just need time to know who YOU are again, tell him you need to find your Independence again because you feel your relying on him too much and it's not fair on either of you. If he does not understand this then the only way is to just move on , because at the end of the day if your not happy right now then neither of you will be.
Good luck
Mandy x
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (27 October 2012):
 I constantly throughout my relationship have had moments such as yours. I've had times when i just really needed a break, and i've had times where i felt a compulsive need to be on my own to simply let my hair down find out who i really am and just have fun. When you are single, i will admit its easier to be yourself, its easier to just feel that each day theres nothing you have to worry about, and that you don't have the burden of what someone else wants on your shoulders all the time. Just because you might want to have time to discover yourself and have abit of freedom, it doesn't mean you don't love your partner. Maybe gently talk to him about how you feel, tell him that you and him need a break in order to be more compatable in the future ( i broke up with my boyfriend for a month, came back, and our relationship is now better than ever) say that the pressure of being in a relationship has really just made you need some time to gather your thoughts, and just discover who you are, and compose yourself. Hopefully he can respect your decision, i do find that if you feel you are no longer enjoying your relationship or you find it more of a chore instead of something to enjoy, then a break is highly recommened just to help both of you get your heads together. Good Luck xx
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