A
female
age
30-35,
*ourtneyybrookee
writes:Sorry in advance, this is probably going to be long. I've been joking up with this guy since July. From the beginning we said it wasn't going to be serious and if either of us wanted it to end we would say it flat out. We got closer over the weeks and admitted that we both like eachother and well see what happens relationship wise. We also happen to have mutual friends and a friend told me this weekend that he told her personally that he hooked up with his ex girlfriend. When I asked him he said it wasn't true. The same friend also told me he told her he doesn't care about me or what I think about anything. I'm really not sure who to believe. Rules say to believe your friend but I'm not too sure. Any advice? Thanks for anything anyone has to say! :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2012): "however I don't see why your F-buddy would tell your friend of all people that he is hooking up with others."
I do. It sounds to me like he made a play for the friend by testing her reactions.
He told her he's seeing other people i.e. available and secondly that he doesn't care what the OP thinks i.e. she's not a problem. Either that or he made a confession to a person he didn't think would blab. Or he was drunk.
The fact remains the only bad thing he did was say it's not true, he is free to hook up with his ex if he likes and sorry to say it but he doesn't have to give a crap about the OP or anything she thinks because she's just a fuck buddy.
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (29 October 2012):
 I'm with Cerberus 100% as well. You two are not BF/GF, you are in fact F-buddies or FWB.
I'm not sure what your friend would get out of telling you lies, however I don't see why your F-buddy would tell your friend of all people that he is hooking up with others.
I think YOU need to take a long hard look at what you have with him and figure out if that is really what you want.
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (29 October 2012):
I also fully agree with Cerberus. I also find it a bit sad you'd doubt the word of your friend because of this guy, who has done absolutely nothing to earn your trust or loyalty.
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (29 October 2012):
 Cerberus says it all I'm afraid and I agree with him 100% on this, sad as the case may be... but true.
~Eve~
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female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (29 October 2012):
 You agreed at first to be his ^^^k buddy, that ovbiously meant from the beginging he was planning to simply have sex with you and that was it. In a way you have to take a moment to step back and just think that you did both agree in the beginging not to get close to eachother, and when you are someones ^^^k buddy, it is simply NSA sex, being a ^^^k buddy doesn't mean anything about hooking up with other people, and it doesn't say anything about having more than one. From what you have written it sadly sounds a bit like maybe he wanted you for sex, saw you had feelings for him, knew if he said he didn't have them to you wouldn't give him sex anymore, so therefore he said it too, i will also admit being a ^^^k buddy does sometimes mean you can get pure physichal attraction mixed up with acutual emotional attraction, its a common mistake. However, you now need to stop and think, is this friend a good one of yours? What reason would he or she have for lying? Is this friend of yours, the jealous kind, or do they have a record for breaking people up?If the answer to all of the above is no, then its obvious that this friend is unfortunately most likely telling the truth, however if you still unsure, i know one person who would probably tell you the truth. His ex!If it takes that much to get to the bottom of this, and if he won't say anything, and maybe if he denies it and your still unsure, message his ex, don't tell him your going to though, see what she has to say, as its his ex, i'm sure she won't care about telling you the truth, not to mention he may still have feelings for her, and thats why hes saying all this BS to her. Unfortunately from what you have said it sounds like what your friend told you is the truth, i hope things do go okay however, and try not to be too downhearted with whatever the truth is. Good Luck xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2012): The answer is very easy OP it's all in your question. Read it again. I can't believe you don't actually see this for what it is although you are young.
You've been his fuck buddy since July, agreed it wasn't going to be serious, it is never going to be serious by the way. So he can and has been hooking up with whomever he likes because he can and you have no right to complain.
Now you brought up one of the biggest killers of fuck buddy status, feelings, so he "agreed" that he liked you too, which technically isn't a lie because liking your pussy can be classed as liking you in a way, by doing so he gets to keep the pussy and shut you up, easiest trick in the book. Some girls would consider that a lie, or deceitful and certainly using the "let's see what happens" deflection may be a sly move but it's worked on you so why not?
You don't see what has just happened before your friend even said a word?
He basically just played this in a way that he can keep fucking you but not actually commit by using a tiny white lie and a deflection. He's still not committed to you, he's still boning you and no matter you think is happening here absolutely nothing has changed, you're just his fuck buddy still and he is free to shag anyone he wants.
Now on to the friend. What reason would she have to lie? What does she stand to benefit by telling you all this? And most of all OP, how the hell can you even consider putting the word of a three month fuck buddy over that of a friend?
I'd say you were being played but you're not, you're the one who decided to enter into a fuck buddy thing and you're the one who thinks things have changed when he's making sure they haven't.
He's not going to commit to you OP, it will always be "maybe in the future, I really like you too, let's see where this goes, not right now, I don't want to lose you but I don't want to commit right now"
If you ask me all the evidence points to your friend being right, I mean can you really not see his actions for what they are?
He will only commit to you in terms of sex, nothing else, what does that tell you about how feels about you?
So look, either be his fuck buddy and be happy with that or go find someone else if you want something more serious.
For the future OP, most of us guys don't end up wanting relationships with our fuck buddies, if you meant more than just pussy to us we would have made you our girlfriends, it's kind of hard to see past the pussy when you give it freely. Sex doesn't stir up the same kind of emotions, as often, in guys as it seems to for women.
If you think this will be anything more then you're wrong, and if you want to prove me wrong or test what I say, stop the sex, start dating and romance. I bet he'll be gone in a flash or you'll start hearing a lot more stories about his other hook ups and not just from that one friend.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2012): "Who do I believe? My friend? Or the guy?"
Rules say believe the one who DOESN'T want to get into your pants, because that's the one who's telling the truth.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (28 October 2012):
 "From the beginning we said it wasn't going to be serious."
"We got closer over the weeks."
What I see is a guy who has managed to convince you that he likes you enough to keep you in the mix but doesn't like you enough to risk being linked to you as boyfriend/girlfriend.
I'd assume he's not boyfriend material.
Really and truly, this guy is not going to make you happy. You want a guy who will fight for you and will try his best to make you happy. This guy is only interested enough to be 'joking' with you.
I'd say to him, "If you want me, you'll have to make a commitment."
Don't sell yourself short and don't get into situations where you give up what YOU want in order to snag some sought-after guy. The sought-after guy is usually a jerk and a user. Seriously.
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female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (28 October 2012):
 HI
Friends are for life men come and go, BUT in this case i'm not so sure, just tred carefully here it could be a case of your friend is jealous, has this guy gave you ANY reason to doubt him? because untill you have concrete evidence then I would continue the way you are with each other.
Mandy x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2012): I think you know the answer within yourself . This was a fun relationship , and you can ask about where you stand ...however if someone suggests a light hearted , no strings relationship that's what they mean .
It means you can both move on without the guilt . I suspect you have fallen deeper into this ...but you need to be honest and ask for the truth . It could be a rumour ...but the question is ...is this what you really want ?
Good Luck -
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