A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey everyone..i recently started seeing my ex boyfriend again.he has been dating another girl since the breakup he said that things have not been good with them for a long time and that he want's to breakup with her but he doesn't know how to gently do it.i listened to him and gave him time.it has now been a month,we hang out and make out a lot in secret.but he is still with the other girl.so last night i got upset and told him that i can not do this anymore and if he wants to be with me he should first sought out his issues but should not expect me to stick around and wait for him to do that....so i feel bad for telling him this but i know i deserve better treatment...so should i stick to my words, please please advise.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2012): yes you should stick to your word. if he is dreading the act of breaking up with her, your willingness to carry on with him right now just makes it comfortable for him to continue procrastinating on it.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (21 November 2012):
 yep it's a no brainer for me
stick to your word
do not see him till he is done with her.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 November 2012):
 Oh that's an easy one :
yes. Absolutely. Stick to your words.
Is not your problem that he can't let the other girl down gently. For what you are concerned, he does not even have to do it gently, he can do it suddenly or brutally or cruelly. That's not your business. Your business is not to be his bit on the side.
Mind you, I can't promise you that if you stick to your guns he will actually leave his gf and be back with you. because I am not convinced that it is all a problem of tact and not hurting feelings. I think he simply finds it easier and better to have his cake and eat it two- stringing along two girls, and I am not sure which one he will choose when he his back is against the wall.
But, if he choses not to leave his gf, - then at least you'll know for sure that he was bullshitting you all along, and that it is time to move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2012): He splits up with you and gets with this other woman almost straight away. Now things aren't going too well with her, he's knocking back at your door?
I'd say you did the right thing backing away from this. What even makes you think he's actually genuine about giving things another go with you?
Have you been constantly on his mind since the break up?
Has he been regretting it ever since?
Has he text you everyday with his heart in his hands telling you what a big mistake it was to let you go?
Has he been begging for you to forgive him and take him back?
Has he actually left this woman yet to show you he's serious about you?
No.
Why now is he so interested in you? When it was a great idea getting with this other women at the time and not giving you a second thought, I'll tell you why...
He's doing to her just what he did to you except now the roles have reversed. Things are going pear shaped there and he's looking for someone (you) to run to because he can't take anymore crap there. When a fresh piece of meat comes along he'll drop you like a hot plate, and you won't see him for dust or hear from him until he needs your open arms again.
You would be foolish to get back involved with this guy.
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx  +, writes (21 November 2012):
 Yes of course you should stick to your words! This man is playing you for a fool.
I've been in the same situation with my boyfriend, before i went out with him, he was with another girl, when he confessed he liked me, i said i would never cheat with him, and the only way he could be with me, is if he ended it with her.
He said he was gonna stay put, but still tryed it on with me over the internet mutiple times, we only got together when she broke up with him.
We were together for six months untill he told another girl exactly the same thing, however he didn't have the will to break up with me so tryed to continue it with this other girl behind my back.
Don't let the same thing happen with you! Some men if they can, will try and have the best of both worlds, and as you said you deserve way better treatment than this.
For all you know he could be telling this girl how much he loves her everyday, while still meeting up with you.
He could be lieing to you, and to her, you've done the right thing, and please even though it may be hard do not go back on your words, you can't carrying on being his little bit on the side, could you imagine how the girl would feel if she found out? What if you were with him and found out he had been seeing another girl while he was with you? Would you be happy? Of course not! So don't carry it on with him untill he makes his decsion.
I am afraid however if you would like me to be brutaltly honest do you think that maybe if he liked/loved you as much as he says he does, he would of ended it with her as soon as he got feelings for you? Do you think he may do the same thing with you in the future? Whats to stop him doing it to you if hes now doing it to his current girlfriend? All these questions you need to ask yourself before you even think of getting back with him.
Good Luck xx
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