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Choosing between 2 men

Tagged as: Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 October 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 29 October 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, *oraatuha writes:

Who should I choose ....

One is attractive, financialy and career stable, more serious about me and the future, loved by my parents, love him but sucks in bed

The other is less attractive, less serious, can make plans forever, my family dont like him however I love him and his amaizing in bed ....he also stresses me alot and not as financially promising but still okay ....

Dont tell me neither, that I should not choose and that I cant love two guys at the same time ....am already past that ...now I ddont know who is better for the future and my children .....

Actually am sstuck between a man who is amaizing in bed but the relationship is going to be difficult and a man who is very serious with the majority of stuff planned out for me not worry about but will suck in bed

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A female reader, Sweet-thing United Kingdom +, writes (29 October 2012):

Sweet-thing agony auntHow about neither of them? Are there really only two choices in this scenario? Really only two men let in the world to pick from? I say don't pick either of them. Neither really work for you and why settle? You're too young to get stuck with a guy who doesn't know how to appeal to you in bed; too young to be stuck with a guy that has no future.

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A female reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx United Kingdom +, writes (29 October 2012):

xTheAlmightyDuckx agony auntSex can be joyful, if you spend a bit of time and love on the first one.

Some men get to be really good at sex, simply because they have had a women with alot of paitience who have shown them the in and outs of it all.

I won't deny, sex is a big part of a relationship, it can sometimes really ruin things if it isn't how you like it, but tbh, it sounds like the second guy would ruin your relationship all together with his attitude.

I guess every man and women has there bad points and good ones, when it comes to being in a relationship, ( no one's perfect) But it sounds to me that if you go for the second one, it will really be based on just sex, which isn't much of a relationship at all.

Not to mention if you want what's best for your kids, the first guy is most definitly the better option, and even if now sex is terrible with him at the moment, it doesn't mean you can't train him up to be better.

Good Luck xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2012):

This is a strange question to be honest.

"now I ddont know who is better for the future and my children"

What has being good in bed got to do with being better for your children? haha.

I actually think it's hilarious being good in bed is actually a deciding factor for you here when you talk about your future and children, being good in bed isn't going to pay the bills or stop that dude stressing you (well not in any conventional way).

I say don't choose, just keep them both. You're already past the not being able to love two guys at the same time, so you're sorted.

You don't want us to say neither yet you can't possibly love either of them enough to only want to be with that one guy or your decision would be easy.

Good sex vs. stability is what you boil this down to. Well I'd rather both in the same partner and that is what I have.

With all due respect to TasteofIndia not everyone can be good in bed just like not everyone can be a good dancer. Frankly you don't sound like you have the patience to be a teacher anyway or you would have already done so.

This is something you need to figure out for yourself and no, you're future and children have nothing to do with this or the choice would be easy as hell.

The good at sex guy wouldn't happen to be this guy would it? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-broke-up-with-him-because-hes-still.html

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2012):

The first one definitely!! the second one will cause you problems in the future and trust me, you only spend 5% of your time in bed and the other 95% dealing with what life has to throw at you. I would go with the more stable loving guy, he will be there for you and help you in life. the other guy just sounds like a sex toy, please don't fall in the trap. You will end up suffering. The first guy can be trained then once he 's good in bed, he'll be the perfect man. It's worth investing the time in him, you'll eventually be much better off.

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (28 October 2012):

TasteofIndia agony auntA sexual partner can be trained to be an expert. A difficult relationship will always be difficult.

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