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Hello! I have not been on this site for a very long time due to committments with college and just life in general, but I am proud to announce that due to changes in events I will be attempting yet again to make this a permanent hobbie. :)
I have always enjoyed giving advice and as I have gotten older I am proud to say that I am able to realize that I do give good advice. I have many friends who do come to me seeking advice, and I always try to see both ends of the spectrum and feel that judging people is not a good way to help them.
I also apologize to all those who sent inbox's to me since I went away and I am now going to try my best to answer all of the messages I get within the same week. Now on with the questions!
What qualifies you to help people?
I have nothing offical that says I am able to help people, but I have a unique prespective on things which enables me to understand how someone must feel. I at a very young age had to be exposed to things that were out of mine and my families control and as my teenage years approached, I saw many more problems arising. My main reason as too whyI enjoy helping people is because I myself have been in positions where I needed an outsiders point of view. I think websites like this allow people to get honest advice on situations that some people might not be able to talk about to those around them.
However I do believe that some aunts and uncles on this site can be too forceful, as after all this site is about advice and no one is inclined to be forced to take it. I believe that harsh advice just makes people feel worse about a situation which why I try to give constructive criticism in a nice way, as only the OP truly understand the problems they have.
Where do you live?
I live in the UK, England, in a small coastal town which is the most easternly point in England and even though this town may seem like a nice little haven for tourists every summer, it has been incredibly hard to grow up surrounded by people who you have known since nursery. Also as I live in a small town, everyone knows everyone's business which is more a hindrance than anything. Hard times as of late, have fallen upon my town due to the recession and because of the lack of opportunities, however hopefully I will be able to think about where else I would like to live in the foreseeable future.
What makes you tick?
All sorts of things. I can't stand selfish people or ungrateful people... I think everyone should value what they have as in this day and age there is more important issues at hand than who has the newest Iphone. I think my generation is far too materialistic and I hate it when people are brought up getting everything handed to them on a plate, as from a young age I had to fight for everything I have. I also don't like judgemental people or liar's, who has time for those sort of people anyway? ;)
What's your relationship status?
I am currently in a relationship :) And so far it is going well. I am not very experienced when it comes too relationships as I have only ever had two, and both of them I had at a a very young age. I do believe that relationships are definitely better to have when you are an adult, as I found the stress and strain of both of my relationships took a lot of fun out of what should been the best years of my life. I am hoping that this relationship turns out well as I had been single before now for a good year or so. So all I can do is hope for the best :)
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| Latest articles: Domestic Abuse: My Story- Part 1
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 July 2015: Okay... Well basically I have recently come out of an abusive relationship and I have had a lot of time to sit and reflect on my relationship as a whole, and I have decided I want to share my story of domestic abuse, as an attempt to both educate ...
Dating tip: determine your five non-negotiables!
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 January 2014: Hey! Been a while since i've done one of these and I just want to share a little tip with those who might be dating or have had some trouble with relationships in the past and might want to find a way to find someone who they aren't going to get ...
My story, update and appreciation to everyone who has helped me.
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 December 2012: I haven't wrote an article on this site recently and well I think its about time as i'm so valued here that I update my life, and well give everyone an insight to why I came on this site and why I love giving people advice and help. ...
Find a Motivation and succeed against the biggest health issues. My Story
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
24 December 2011: At the begining of the year i was in pieces, i cannot even describe how i felt this time last year and i am sure only people who have ever been through something similar to what i have been through can imagine how bad it felt. It was Decemebe...
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My story of how karma really can bite you. And why empathy is important in relationships
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 November 2011: Well basically I am 14 years old and i would like to share a story which really really changed my way that I view the world and why you shouldn't take people for granted. All names included in this stroy are made up ones. I had a friend n...
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My temper got out of control. How do I show my g/f that I would never hurt her?
Q. I've been dating my gf for almost four years now. Last night we all went out to a pub and got drunk afterwards we came back to my apartment. Everyone was having a good time so I'm not sure who things turned so bad. Apparently my gf and I went I t...
A. 26 August 2014: You sir, are an inspiration! Well done and good luck on your journey of recovery! :) ... (read in full...)
My temper got out of control. How do I show my g/f that I would never hurt her?
Q. I've been dating my gf for almost four years now. Last night we all went out to a pub and got drunk afterwards we came back to my apartment. Everyone was having a good time so I'm not sure who things turned so bad. Apparently my gf and I went I t...
A. 10 August 2014: I don't think your an asshole, but its interesting you said punching things provide a release.
You do know you could start to turn things around even if you just looked up on different ways to turn your anger arou... (read in full...)
My temper got out of control. How do I show my g/f that I would never hurt her?
Q. I've been dating my gf for almost four years now. Last night we all went out to a pub and got drunk afterwards we came back to my apartment. Everyone was having a good time so I'm not sure who things turned so bad. Apparently my gf and I went I t...
A. 9 August 2014: I thought you said you don't fight a lot? I take it this is a usual thing then? If so its blatant you need help with your anger.
She is probably bringing up all of the times you have lost it to get you realize that you need some kind of help... (read in full...)
If you keep your partner very sexually satisfied. does that make them less likely to look at or fantasize about other girls?
Q. My boyfriend has a few good looking female friends. He has ample opportunity to cheat but I don't think he would. I was just wondering, if you keep your partner very sexually satisfied does that make them less likely to look at other girls or ...
A. 9 August 2014: Sometimes cheating is in peoples personality's. I find that a lot of men and women who tend to cheat are normaly selfish and greedy when it comes to every day life, but of course anyone can cheat, whether they have the best sex life or not.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend called me a stalker and it was justified because of my actions. What should I do to recover from this?
Q. This morning my boyfriend borrowed my phone and saw that i had typed in google the name of a girl that he had recently added on a social media site to see who they were. I denied i had done it and didnt know how it was on there which was an obvious ...
A. 9 August 2014: So you are a stalker because you put a girls name into google? Wow. No you aren't :L
He might of seen it as a bit weird, but there is no need to call you a stalker. Unless of course I am a stalker too. I used to look up some... (read in full...)
13 years and 3 kids in he says " I have been wondering what it is like to be with other women"
Q. I woul love some advise please. 13 years and 3 kids in he says " I have been wondering what it is like to be with other women" he was a virgin when we met (not that he told me) and he regrets not sleeping with more women. He works away a lot and ...
A. 9 August 2014: There is nothing wrong with you, and you are good enough for him and anyone else.
HE is the one here who has a problem, and it isn't your fault that he hasn't slept with many woman, he was the one who choose to settle down with... (read in full...)
My temper got out of control. How do I show my g/f that I would never hurt her?
Q. I've been dating my gf for almost four years now. Last night we all went out to a pub and got drunk afterwards we came back to my apartment. Everyone was having a good time so I'm not sure who things turned so bad. Apparently my gf and I went I t...
A. 9 August 2014: People might not agree with me. But I believe you. I believe you got to drunk and things got way out of the control and eventually everything turned into a blur.
Like I said, think if you drank anything else... (read in full...)
My temper got out of control. How do I show my g/f that I would never hurt her?
Q. I've been dating my gf for almost four years now. Last night we all went out to a pub and got drunk afterwards we came back to my apartment. Everyone was having a good time so I'm not sure who things turned so bad. Apparently my gf and I went I t...
A. 8 August 2014: As long as you haven't displayed this behaviour EVER before towards her, and that includes really really agressivly shouting and punching walls during arguements with her, then I think its obvious the problem was the DRINK.
... (read in full...)
My Fiance's Ex Is Stalking Him...Should I end our engagement???
Q. My boyfriend and I got engaged last month, and we were so happy. Then, we got a nasty surprise. A girl, whom he had a brief relationship with back before we met has turned up out of the blue, saying she loves him and wants him back and to leav...
A. 8 August 2014: Its very hard when you are dealing with someone with a complicated mental health disorder, and even though it isn't an excuse, it makes it much more trickier.
Having a split personality disorder is hard... (read in full...)
Boyfriend paid for expensive trip but is it too much too soon?
Q. I'm probably overthinking this but is it too soon to be going on holiday with my boyfriend when we have only just (last few months) got back together after being apart for about two years? Last week it was my birthday and as a gift my boyfrien...
A. 8 August 2014: His intentions were obviously good, he probably wanted to create a little surprise for you and it didn't go as planned.
I think in this instance he isn't thinking about the money, he is just thin... (read in full...)
He's a super nice guy but I'm worried that he's gay
Q. I just started seeing this guy I met online. He is so incredibly nice, sweet and wants the same things I do. However, I worry that he may be gay and just in the closet. He's the first guy I've ever met who hasn't had his hands all over me or t...
A. 8 August 2014: Have you ever heard of a metro-sexual man? A metro-sexual man is a man who enjoys similar things to what women do and has the same kind of stereotype as a gay man.
However even though they have the same inte... (read in full...)
He's separated from his wife and she's pregnant but he says he loves me. Am I crazy for even considering him?
Q. This is going to be crazy long and probably a crazy story. Thanks for bearing with me. My best friend is a male. We've been friends for 3 years. When we met he was married. I was dating and I was never interested in him anyway. Flash forward to a ...
A. 8 August 2014: I think at the moment his head is all over the place. He's rushed into to everything and he probably doesn't know what he himself feels anymore.
It seems for him its just gone from one thing to the next, separating with his ... (read in full...)
Our religious views arent the same. Do I end things now?
Q. Hi guys, I'm hoping that someone can help me make sense and see things from an outside of the box perspective. I don't really have anyone to discuss these issues with an feel so alone trying to find a solution. Here goes.. I met this guy onlin...
A. 8 August 2014: I don't think he is a player or an idiot, its obvious you too just have very different ways of life.
The battle of God VS Science, its a battle which has been going on for centuries and everyone seems to have... (read in full...)
Wife caught her best friend propositioning me?
Q. My wife caught her best friend saying very sexually leading comments to me. She confronted her friend on the spot and made her leave our house. Her friend called me in tears asking what she could to to fix it. I really don't know what she can do. ...
A. 8 August 2014: I think her friend may of crossed the line. Betrayal is an awful thing, it really hurts, but when its someone like your best friend it hurts even more. She obviously truste... (read in full...)
Does he like me or playing games
Q. There is a former work colleague who I went to see at his house to test drive his new car and have a chat about life and how I am since leaving my last job. After I drove his car we were having a good conversation then I said how I don't have many ...
A. 6 August 2014: I don't think he is playing games with you. I think it was simply a friendly request to go to the cinema.
I think why maybe he hasn't been in touch was because first off you didn't really accept his ... (read in full...)
We were dating and then it all just fell apart. I don't know what happened?
Q. i recently started seeing someone for the first time in over a year, i have delibrately stayed away from men who i have seen are a ladies man and i became good friends with a guy in our group of friends... we had some good times together and we ...
A. 6 August 2014: Do you wanna know what I think? I think the reason he got with you was because of sex.
He even said it himself, he said he couldn't base a relationship off sex which suggests that may of been the main reason he started seei... (read in full...)
I love her but having a normal relationship with her is impossible
Q. Can I ask for people's opinions? My relationship of two years ended yesterday and I want to honestly know if I am the reason. We met two years ago online, I don't trust people easily because I know what liars some people are. Right off the ba...
A. 6 August 2014: So, she's lied to you, been mean to you, hasn't introduced you to her family or friends, and has constantly been secretly talking to exes and guys behind your back.
The thing which baffles me the most is t... (read in full...)
Any advice for a new relationship with an ex?
Q. I'm struggling to work out what this means - if anything... A few years ago I ended a relationship as he had started work in another part of the country and my work included weekends so we very rarely saw each other. We had many arguments about it...
A. 6 August 2014: There is something about this situation which I don't like. Its kinda hard to put my finger on but something doesn't seem right.
Do you not find it strange that as soon as things start going wrong with his girlfriend he decides to talk to y... (read in full...)
I struggle with trust issues and my girlfriend has lied to me in the past
Q. I need advice on what happens next in a relationship - I have been with my girlfriend for almost a year. There is many years age difference (25 years) so our opinions differ a lot of the time. She is well liked by everyone and has an adoring p...
A. 6 August 2014: Okay. First of all, why did she lie to you? This all sounds very suspicious.
If she wasn't doing anything with this ex of hers then why did she lie to you about where she was? People only lie if they are trying to hide some... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesn't want me to masturbate. How do I handle this?
Q. I am in my early twenties and I am a girl seeing another girl about my age. I do not personally think masturbation is wrong but my girlfriend insists that she does not like the idea of me masturbating although I only do it when we cannot be intimate ...
A. 6 August 2014: Some people feel that when there partner masturbates, they are masturbating because there partner isn't fulfilling them enough. So they kinda get jealous about it.
Of course we both know that the reas... (read in full...)
He's always observing me, what does this mean?
Q. Anytime I'm around this certain guy, I noticed he's observing me quite often, watching things I do, like he's interested in how I do every little thing. Now it's not constantly, like creepy, but it's very often, I even feel his eyes watching me when ...
A. 6 August 2014: The thing which suggests that he may have some feelings for you is the fact he suddenly looks away and acts awkward when you catch him looking.
If he was simply looking at you because he finds you interesting, then why woul... (read in full...)
My best friend keeps putting me down and now won't speak to me!
Q. Hi everyone. I've been faced with a problem that I am unsure how to react to. The girl who was my best friend kept putting me down, for no reason. She called me spoiled, she kept telling me she was bored of my hair being blonde (we're hairdress...
A. 5 August 2014: Why do you not want to lose her as a friend if she is being so nasty to you? There is a point where a friend can give you some advice, for example a friend of mine recently dyed her hair blonde asked me how it looked and I simply s... (read in full...)
Why do men prefer it shaved?
Q. My question might sound simple but why do so many men seem to like shaved vulva as opposed to a natural hairy one ? I found that the man I am with says he finds it much sexier and several men have said this before . I prefer to go natural as I get ...
A. 5 August 2014: I think its because when there isn't any hair there, men can see it all. They can see it going in and out, and I think that kinda turns them on, also there of course is the false stigma which goes around stating that hairy vaginas ... (read in full...)
So what do I do? End it and then go back to the guy that I've liked for four years? Or, continue with the new guy?
Q. Hello, any help would be brilliant. Basically, I have had a thing on and off with a guy for 4 years. We have both liked each other for that time but for one reason or another, nothing ever came of it. He's very shy and I was going through some per...
A. 5 August 2014: Well done for not going out with someone while you were depressed, as it is common mistake people make which often has bad consequences. You are obviously in a very difficult situation here, as you are torn between guys, one is a... (read in full...)
He won't sex chat with me!
Q. Hey guys I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 24 and we're in long destines relationship It's really hard to meet and i might meet him after 6 months or more I never had sex before but he did anyway before 2 days i was talking about chat sex and he re...
A. 5 August 2014: If you feel that chat sex is vital when you are in a long distance relationship then its obvious this guy isn't going to fulfil your needs. And its not his fault, and you shouldn't take it personally. Not everyone is into cyber se... (read in full...)
What are ways my fiancé can prove to me he wont cheat again and to regain my trust?
Q. So in may this yr. I have to go to jail for some owed back child support. While im gone for 25 days my fiancé takes it upon himself to "not put his life on hold" and decided to cheat. He said he blacked out from within an hr before up to in the ...
A. 5 August 2014: There isn't much of a way he can prove it to you. There is no way he can prove where he has been at every moment of the day and what he has been doing so its kind of up to you really.
You will just... (read in full...)
I have Aspergers and as a result don't have many close friends. Will he mind?
Q. I have very few friends and have been this way all my life. There's a guy who I think is interested in me - in fact, I'm sure he is. I really like him. But he has loads and loads of friends and is extremely well connected - in the field that we ...
A. 5 August 2014: You are over-thinking this. Trust me. I do not have Aspergers, however I do have both a Severe Anxiety Disorder and Bipolar Disorder, and due to me having these things it has caused me to be in the same situatio... (read in full...)
He's always observing me, what does this mean?
Q. Anytime I'm around this certain guy, I noticed he's observing me quite often, watching things I do, like he's interested in how I do every little thing. Now it's not constantly, like creepy, but it's very often, I even feel his eyes watching me when ...
A. 5 August 2014: I think its most likely that he probably likes you. Eye contact and observation are very big key signs in relationships. Even psychologists claim that by studying peoples body language and eye contact ... (read in full...)
He tells me to stop all of this "drama," please help as it's been weeks since I've had proper meal or left my bedroom!
Q. I met this guy a year back and we have been dating...he is very different from the entire world and i can vouch for it...maybe he loves me but i don't really matter to him...he seems like the kind of person who just can't love anyone but himself and ...
A. 4 August 2014: If a relationship is causing you to hide away in your room and not eat, its un-healthy, also from everything you have said here it is obvious you aren't happy so why are you remaining with him?
He doesn't listen to you, he doesn't seem... (read in full...)
He loves her but he doesn't like her?
Q. Dear aunts, I am friends with a lot of guys. Anyways, I have this guy friend who talks about his gf a lot. Recently, we were on a topic about why men cheat and he was like "women are so hard to go with... Just last week I told my gf I love her bu...
A. 4 August 2014: Its pretty easy to love someone but not like them.
I'm sure at one point in his relationship he did like her, but maybe recently she has done something that has made him dislike her for a certain reas... (read in full...)
What does "in a complicated relationship" on FB mean, exactly?
Q. My friend last week on her fb account put in a complicated relationship, what does it mean???? Ive asked her if shes ok and if she wants to talk im always hear to speak to but im not really sure what it means Does it mean her relationship is ...
A. 4 August 2014: Normally when someone puts they are in a complicated relationship it means one of these things (this what I have gathered from some of my friends putting it as there relationship status)
1. They are seeing eachother and are not fully going ou... (read in full...)
His porn preference is for larger women, I am slim, should I worry?
Q. My boyfriend is into big girls who are pretty, but I am slim - he does love me and find me sexy but it makes me insecure. I know he is into lots of types of girls, but his porn preference is BBW. Do I need to worry? He wants to marry me and buy a ...
A. 4 August 2014: I don't think you need to worry. Porn isn't real, just because someone has a particular preference in porn doesn't mean that is what they want in reality.
Even if someone has a preference for what they go for in rela... (read in full...)
We danced, and had fun, but I didn't know how to ask for her number!
Q. i've been on a few nights out and they've been great gone out had a good time simple was great. I don't go out to hook up or anything I just go out for the laugh with my friends. However, last night I was dancing with a really good looking gir...
A. 4 August 2014: Its a great fact that you aren't interested with just taking a girl home for the night, because as a young woman myself for me and most of my female friends it is rather unattractive when a guy at a pub/club just wants us for a quick you know what, ... (read in full...)
Why was I unfriended on Facebook? Did I do anything wrong?
Q. Ok, what do you in following situation. If you went on a couple of dates with someone, you fancied them but you weren't sure how they felt as there were mixed signals and there were times were you felt they wanted to kiss you but didnt do anything. ...
A. 4 August 2014: Okay, sorry but I found this post a bit hard to follow, so let me just confirm what you are saying. So basically you were dating a guy, but then you got a new boyfriend but remained friends with your date. (are you still with this new boyfriend?) ... (read in full...)
My best friendis in love with a guy who mistreats her!
Q. So, my friend and I have known each other for about 2 years now. We're always hanging out and there for each other. However, as long as I've known my friend she's been dating this guy. He, honestly, treats her like garbage. So, my friend has a on...
A. 4 August 2014: It sounds like your friend is very emotionally unstable, and its obvious this guy isn't helping and is no good for her. Its very hard when a good friend falls in love with someone who simply treats them lik... (read in full...)
His foot fetish makes me feel like he doesn't fancy me enough to maintain an erection!
Q. Hey aunts and uncles! I've been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for about 3 months (I've known him for a year)....we see each other at weekends and sometimes through the week if we both have time off work... Things are goin...
A. 4 August 2014: Sometimes men need a little encouragement, they need a little bit of direction, and if that means you have to take the lead for a while in order to start having more enjoyable sex then I guess you are going to have to do it. ... (read in full...)
My niece is kissing me on the mouth, does this mean anything?
Q. the daughter of my wives elder sister, a mature 50year old single woman, never married, when we meet which is not regular, at the moment, but we are moving closer, I notice has started kissing me full on the mouth when we meet.nothing is said but ...
A. 4 August 2014: I would say this is unusual, for a woman of that age kissing you on the mouth. Also as this is your WIFES SISTERS DAUGHTER it makes it all the more un-comfortable. However the thing I am worried about is why a... (read in full...)
I completely support my boyfriend's acting career but he never seems to reciprocate!
Q. We've bee together for two months, and we are both in the same competitive business....The acting industry. We're both doing well in our own ways, but at the same time that extra support is always helpful to have in a relationship. But it seems like ...
A. 4 August 2014: Firstly have you ever actually asked him to like your pages and help you out? Sometimes people need direction in relationships and if you don't ask, they normally won't think twice about it. Maybe the reason he hasn't been giving y... (read in full...)
I thought I was over this. He was my best friend. Should I meet up with him when he returns?
Q. Hey all, sorry this is another I love my best friend post. Basically long story short, I fell for one of my friends 4 years ago and we were really close until he got a new girlfriend and at that point I got myself to accept reality that we were...
A. 4 August 2014: The only way you are going to be able to decide what is best, is by thinking about how this meet up is going to effect you, as in a situation like this you need to do what is best for yourself. Do you think you can put your feelings... (read in full...)
Should I be friends with him or not? I think I am attracted to him though I am happily married and deeply in love with my husband!
Q. I have been married for 6 years and I am deeply in love with my husband . However I have a friend very close to my heart and we get along really well ! We like each other's company and do spend a lot of time chatting on Facebook ! Recently, I have ...
A. 16 April 2014: If you are already attracted to him, any more interaction is just going to make your feelings intensify so I would really not suggest. Are you happy in your marriage? Do you love your husband? Does he love you? Do you value your marriage... (read in full...)
I've found my soulmate but I'm not ready for the commitment just yet.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years and I know I wanna spend the rest of my life with him, something that I've known since I met him, but only recently hit me. I got with my boyfriend when I was only 17 so I had never experience...
A. 16 April 2014: I understand exactly how you feel, even though i'm younger than you. At the age of 16 I pretty much went straight from one long term relationship to the next, and after a couple of months of being with my new boyfriend who I consider... (read in full...)
How to calm a negative partner?
Q. lately my partner of two years has been VERY negative... and i'm starting to get frustrated! i try to be the best partner possible, i don't know what to do, because lately my partner has been tossing out threats (simple verbal threats like "if you ...
A. 16 April 2014: If he is verbally aggressive to you and makes angry threats towards you then this is not a good sign at all.
Being verbally aggressive to someone is the first sign that things are going to get viol... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is WAY too much into gaming
Q. Hi guys. Alright.. so I recently got engaged to a wonderful young man. There's only one problem. His ONLY interest seems to be videogames. I ask him what he's passionate about and he literally has no answer. All he does all day, every day is play ...
A. 16 April 2014: I too am a very big gamer! I love gaming and I think its great, but like you I game in moderation. I don't see how some people can do it day in and day out. However from what i've learnt from a friend who is so ad... (read in full...)
I feel like I failed as a girlfriend
Q. I'm feeling hurt and in need of some advice.. I talked to my ex boyfriend recently (whom I am still in love with) and he said although I was "great" he was unhappy in our relationship. I am very hurt by this because I really tried my absolute best...
A. 16 April 2014: I know its hard to think this, but there is nothing wrong with you.
Sometimes we can try our very best to make someone happy, and it still won't work, and if you know you tried your best to make him happy and he still wasn't happy, there is o... (read in full...)
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