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... Send *upermum a private message | | | *upermum's profile:Time to revamp a little bit! I am amazing at giving advice, terrible at taking it, as with most of us I suppose.
I speak straight from my heart. Sometimes it is difficult to swallow, but it is always the truth. I am not the type of person who will sugar coat anything or play nice, because I do not believe that will help people, and I know that is how I would wish to be treated.
I feel I can benefit people here because I am able to see both sides of an argument, have an objective head and can see the bigger picture most of the time. I am very good at working out why people behave in certain ways, and therefore can often bring a helpful insight into a situation. I am available if you have a private question, or to answer those on the site.
A bit about me: I am 23, live on my own in the UK, have a fantastic life and am an incredibly strong person. I have been through a lot, which makes me empathetic and can sympathise with almost everyone.
Happy problem solving! |
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Is it because of excessively watching porn videos that I have difficulty in maintaining an erection?
Q. who thinks that the porn industry wrecks men's sex lives? who thinks porn and to much sexual images causes damage in erections? the reason im asking this question is because for many years i used to masterbate to porn ( 11 years to be exact) b...
A. 22 June 2008: dont worry about the rude people. they obviously dont get any sex and therefore cant sympathise with you. relax and you will be fine... does your gf mind? i know i had a bf once with the same problem, and it was only when i told him it wasnt his... (read in full...)
Is it because of excessively watching porn videos that I have difficulty in maintaining an erection?
Q. who thinks that the porn industry wrecks men's sex lives? who thinks porn and to much sexual images causes damage in erections? the reason im asking this question is because for many years i used to masterbate to porn ( 11 years to be exact) b...
A. 21 June 2008: maybe you should focus your attention on making the woman cum. hearing her may make it easier for you... (read in full...)
I have no desire to cheat or be unfaithful, but how do I rid myself of these emotions?
Q. I am married to a really nice guy. All in all our relationship is ok but I guess we have our ups and downs like everyone else. Recently I started working with a guy who I find myself being very attracted to so many levels; physical, mental...
A. 21 June 2008: you have to see these feelings as a crush, try to spend as little time with this guy as you can, without being rude of course... (read in full...)
Small bumps on my vaginal area, I'm afraid to go to the doctor!
Q. yes i have small bumps on my vaginal area at the end where the hair stop befor it enters to your clit...im afraid to go to the doctor to me they look like skin tags...can some help n tell me what u guys think they are please!!!!...
A. 21 June 2008: your doc has seen much worse!!!!!!
this sounds completely harmless, so i wouldnt worry too much, but it may give you piece of mind to pay the doc a visit... you can have a female chaperone. have you noticed these recently, or have they been ther... (read in full...)
What should I do, stay with my boyfriend? Or get back together with my ex and get an abortion?
Q. I'm 19 years old, I meet my boyfriend in collage who i've been dateing for 5 months, and i'm between 4-5 months pregneat with his baby. I jumped into this relationship too quick, and i just got out of one with my ex, who i was dateing for 4-5 year...
A. 21 June 2008: why do you need an abrotion if you go with this other guy.. your ex?
coz if he is making you then that is not a good erlationship. dont think about boys, think about your son or daughter. he or she will be moving round, sucking there thumbs and able... (read in full...)
Do I have any rights with regard to her selling the ring before divorce?
Q. My wife has sold her engagement ring and has left the state, she even had a change of address 3 weeks ago, then, this week I filed for divorce. Do I have any rights with regard to her selling the ring before divorce? ...
A. 21 June 2008: i wouldn have thought so im afraid....but if you bought it, you could have asked for it back. unfortunately, whats done is done now.... (read in full...)
I am having trouble reaching an orgasm with my boyfriend. Please help.
Q. I am having trouble having an orgasm with my b/f. It's so annoying because if i watch males stripping on videos, I can orgasm instantly thru masturbation very easily (5 minutes). He even went down on me and though it felt amazing and him touc...
A. 21 June 2008: make sure you take your knickers off, and put a duvet down in the car to help pad it out a bit. you go on top, so that you control depth and speed and touch yourself at the same time. boys find this sexy anyway... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if this is the relationship for me anymore. What should I do?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for over a year now. We have even moved in with eachother because we were so much in love. Recently I have been questioning the relationship because of her irresponsible use of medication when trying to cope with ...
A. 21 June 2008: i doubt if you are telling all. there must be other reasons than this. also are you saying that she has started overdosing? if so, she needs to see her doc asap.
you need an honest chat with her... but dont do it until you are sure in your head... (read in full...)
To shave or not to shave, that is the question...
Q. do boys like when your vigina is shaved or hairy?? my boyfriend tells me he likes it shaved...but i domt like shaving it......
A. 15 June 2008: i shave... and i hate doing it coz i always end up cutting my self lol... and it hurts!!!!! but i do it for me, because it makes me feel cleaner. my boyfriend wouldnt mind. do it for you not your bf. if you dont like doing it, dont!... (read in full...)
Am I bi or just confused and curious?
Q. hey, i think i might be bi. you see i really really like guys but in the past year i have started getting turned on by girls (i am also a girl) but only certian girls like ones i have known for a while. an example is me and my bff (she is bi) i ha...
A. 15 June 2008: You need to look at yourself.... you are really young and could be going through an experimental faze, which there is nothing wrong with.
give it some time, and accept your feelings and try not to worry too much... (read in full...)
I caught my GF in a lie but she doesn't know I know the truth -- now what?
Q. here's the situation my girl is ling or i caught her in a lie.she doesn't know that i know,she's acting distant towards me.i ask what is the problem she tells me that things at home are changing and that i'm fliping out for no reason.i ask her to ...
A. 15 June 2008: You said that you have caught her lying... but you do not explain any further. you are going to have to think seriously about this relatonhsip. do you really want to be in a relationship with no trust? i wish you all the best... (read in full...)
He says he loves me, but is he in love with me now? Have I pushed him too hard in the past?
Q. I have been with "Bill" for 7 months... We were very close .. close to the point he was going to move in till I pushed him to many times..Meaning, I would tell him not to come back..(past relationships made walls real high with me).. He lived about ...
A. 14 June 2008: ask lol... thats thee only thing that you can do! sorry i couldnt be more helpful... (read in full...)
I want to be a better boyfriend, how do I do that?
Q. Why can't I be honest, true and loyal to my girlfriend? She is great to be with, puts up with my mood swings, my moaning, my unromantic side, my laziness, basically everything, yet she always forgives me and makes the 1st move to sorting things out....
A. 14 June 2008: be honest with yourself....write down your feelings so that you can work out in your head why you are keeping these things from her....then try to work through those things one by one
all thre best... (read in full...)
I've hit her and cheated on her but want to change and win her back. Please help.
Q. I had been with my girlfriend for 3 years, throughout the relationship I was never faithful. I know what you are thinking, here we go another cheat who wants forgiveness, but in my eyes Im not that person. I could never fully open up to my girlfr...
A. 14 June 2008: you need to change and move on.... i wouldnt get back with you if i was her... i hav been in a violent relationship before. if you change and can prove that by having other girlfriends and treating them right, you MAY stand a small chance of getting ... (read in full...)
Should I try to show her that I've changed or give her some space?
Q. My fiancee and i got in a Very big fight, basically i wasnt treating her the right way and she feels like she doesnt know who i am anymore, she moved from arizona to georgia back home to stay with her parents and i went on a deployment with the ...
A. 14 June 2008: unfortunately, this is your fault. i am glad to hear that you hae changed your ways, but maybe you should give your ex some space and try to find someone new to practise your new found skills on....
i hope it goes okay for you sweetie... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to have feelings for him, even though he has a girlfriend?
Q. Hi! I've been friends with this guy at college for about 2 years now, and then about 7 months ago I started having feelings for him. Last June we were both at a party, got drunk, and snogged, but the next day it was like nothing had happened. Sa...
A. 14 June 2008: you cant help your feelings, but be careful what you do with them... you dont want to end up alone and hurt
god luck... (read in full...)
Any advice on how to dress to impress on my school trip?
Q. Hello, I am going on a school trip for like 3 days so its an overnight stay as well. The boy that I kind of like is going and I want to impress him with my looks and stuff but I kind of need help becoz we are going to be doing all sorts of acti...
A. 14 June 2008: go smart casuall. the best thing you can do is radiate inner glory... as in love your self and be confident... that would be the best way to catch this boys interest.
good luck sweetie... (read in full...)
I'm worried about my cousin.
Q. I need advice, I am a 15 year old male, and my cousin which is a girl of 16, started to fuck up in school and just making the wrong friends. I found that she has been using and carrying all these drugs, I don't care if she fucks up her life, I ...
A. 14 June 2008: i know this is really hard for you, but you cant do too much for fear of pushing her further into her dispear. and visit talktofrank.com..... if not, ring the local drugs advise centres over in the states.
i hope she is ok and gets through this... (read in full...)
Do you think she loves me?
Q. Hi everyone i have a general question about love You see i know this girl and shes my best friend, but i have to confess that i'm very much in love with her. So One day I decided to just tell this to her, and she replyed to me that she also love...
A. 14 June 2008: i am afraid that she can love you.... as a friend...
it may be hard to accept but you do have to respect what she has said,
you can always hope for the future, but dont push it too much or you may ruin it... and it sounds as if you both like eac... (read in full...)
Lack of sex is causing problems. Why is she like this?
Q. Hi there, Im 15 living a normal life but I have a problem.There is this girl I know a year older then me who is very sexy and adores me.But she sort of has a boyfriend.She says all these things how I make her really happy and she's in love with me(...
A. 14 June 2008: firstly you need to tread really carefully.... what you are doing with her is cheating and that makes it wrong. talk to this girl, because she must have feelings for him if she is going out with him....
find your self someone who is avai... (read in full...)
My colleague has taken over like a cuckoo in the nest. What can I do?
Q. About 6 months ago a group of new people started working at my workplace which i was responsible for training up. My manager was really happy with me and gave me loads of responsability (no extra pay) which i loved as it will look great on my CV. ...
A. 14 June 2008: i wouldnt bother staying in that job then... they obviously dont value you. use your newly enhanced cv to find yourself a better job where your rights are respected. you can write to your empoyer to explain your desicion and reasons for leaving, it ... (read in full...)
One girl is jealous of me and has turned all the girls against me. What can I do?
Q. Hello I have been friends with some girls for ages, but all of a sudden just because one of them apparantly is jealous of me she has turned all the girls against me. They say mean stuff and look at me like im stupid whenever i talk to them. Th...
A. 14 June 2008: these people are obviously not worth being friends with, so i wouldnt bother with them... give them something to be really jealous of, make some new friends who appreciate you for who you are, smile whenever they walk by and ignore there comments. i ... (read in full...)
Is it easy to give away a person you love?
Q. is it easy to give a person whom you are inlove with to someone else? My boyfriend and I are inlove each other..but b/c of some peronal reasons I m going to marry someone else. but my boyfriend say "ok" . and I was shocked. is it easy to l...
A. 14 June 2008: i am not sure of your situation, but you obviously have a fab boyfriend who really cares for you.....
he understands your situation but is finding it hard.
... (read in full...)
My parents say I'm emotionally immature. What can I do?
Q. I'm 17 years old, female, and was recently told by my parents I'm emotionally immature and have been noticably since the age of 8. This was a bit of a shock to me; I didn't realise I was significantly abnormal, and it upset me a lot. My parents want ...
A. 14 June 2008: We all develope at different rates, and by the way you have written ths letter, i would say that some level of emotional maturity is clear because you have been able to portray your feelings really well.
counselling is never a bad thing... i coul... (read in full...)
Had unprotected sex four days after period. Could I be pregnant?
Q. my cycle is not 28 days but it`s not more than 32 days but i had unprotected sex 4 days after my period.am i safe or not....
A. 14 June 2008: there is always a chance that you could be pregnant after unprotected sex, so i would take a pregnancy test in about 3/4 weeks time to be sure.
Also, it would be wise if you went to your local GUM clinic to be tested for any possible infe... (read in full...)
Rushed into marriage and we have a child. I feel the chemistry between us is deteriorating.
Q. Hi, I have been married for 3 years, we have a daughter who is one year old. I love my child very much. My problem is I dont have any feelings for my wife. We rushed in during this puppy love period and got married before we actually got t...
A. 14 June 2008: i really feel for you in this situation, it must be really hard. i think you and your wife need to have an honest chat... i know you are looking for someone to tell you the answer.. but only you can do that. tell your wife how you feel and what you ... (read in full...)
Teenage girl needs help with social situation....
Q. Hi its me again i like this boy and i think he knows that i like him i was in the pub with my friend on thursday and at the end of the night we all went to the other side of the bar because were all friends and we dated for a week before. An...
A. 14 June 2008: this is something you need to know for yourself... he may be shy... so try sending him a few signals... touch your hair occasionally whilst you talk to him, make eye contact, smile and try to put him at ease. if you have the confidence, go up and ... (read in full...)
After 5 years of friendship we had sex but he doesn't want a serious relationship... should I tell him how I feel?
Q. please someone help me........ im in love with my guy best friend. we have known each other for ten years but have developed a great friendship over the last 5 years. we have just gotten into a sexual relationship......we even talk about having ...
A. 14 June 2008: have an honest chat with him, tell him how you feel and where you want this realtionship to go... (read in full...)
Should I get revenge?
Q. The boy I was inlove with in my past. Is now that one I offically hate. He cheated on his girlfriend with me, and now I feel as if I should use it has revenge to get back at him. I know this would probably ruin his whole life, and I don't want to ...
A. 14 June 2008: you have to be very carefull.... let sleeping dogs lie, grow up a bit and dont go out with anyone who is already taken....
i dont mean to be rude but you need to think about how your actions could affect other people. it takes two to tango... (read in full...)
How can I make myself feel better and trust my boyfriend? and how can I get over my grandma's death?
Q. My grandma passed away almost 2 years ago. I was her favorite grandchild. And at the time I just found out I was pregnant and living with her. (When I was 14, my mom started dating a man who would push me around and tell me my family hated me ...
A. 14 June 2008: you have to ask yourself this question.... do you want a liar for a boyfriend? you know he has lied to you once, and he will probably to it again...
why dont you find yourself someone who treats you like the princess you deserve to be treated like... (read in full...)
How do I stop my friend smoking?
Q. About 2 months ago, a close friend of mine started smoking after having a cigar at another friends sleepover. At first I thought it was just a phase, we're 15 and I thought she'd just got caught up with what the "cooler" kids were doing. I didn't ...
A. 14 June 2008: Some people, myself included actually like smoking. all you can do is be there for you friend if and when she decides to quit... (read in full...)
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