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*upermum

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*upermum's profile:

Time to revamp a little bit! I am amazing at giving advice, terrible at taking it, as with most of us I suppose.

I speak straight from my heart. Sometimes it is difficult to swallow, but it is always the truth. I am not the type of person who will sugar coat anything or play nice, because I do not believe that will help people, and I know that is how I would wish to be treated.

I feel I can benefit people here because I am able to see both sides of an argument, have an objective head and can see the bigger picture most of the time. I am very good at working out why people behave in certain ways, and therefore can often bring a helpful insight into a situation. I am available if you have a private question, or to answer those on the site.

A bit about me: I am 23, live on my own in the UK, have a fantastic life and am an incredibly strong person. I have been through a lot, which makes me empathetic and can sympathise with almost everyone.

Happy problem solving!

< Prev123456789Next > [9 pages, 309 answers]

I always try to be confident when he's mean, why is he such a jerk?

Q.   hi me and my boyfriend have been going out for nearly 9 months. we have both said we love each other...my friends think we should break up.. my problem is he confuses me by saying stuff like my boobs are to small he can be a jerk and mean . i a...

A.   7 September 2008: I am afraid that your friends are right. You need to nip this in the bud right now, it will only get worse. If you let him get away with it he will do it to more people, not just you. Good luck... (read in full...)

As I leave this world in silence...

Q.   Just a little something i wrote nd want to share : -Everyone smiles and falls for my fake smile and laughs as the truth lays hidden. -I wish I could erase all traces of my existence and fade away for eternity. -Deep inside I am strong, I ha...

A.   5 September 2008: i wrote a poem that might help you.. i will say the first two versus, then if you want the rest, email me and ill email you the whole thing. all the best! This ones for YOU For every child who cries at night, alone with shame, and pain, and fri... (read in full...)

Do these signs mean that I'm pregnant?

Q.   I think i mite be pregnant but im not sure. I was due to come on today. I took 2 pregnancy tests yesterday. A cheap brand I took at lunchtime showed a very, very faint positive line, i mean extremely faint. I went straight out and bought a mor...

A.   5 September 2008: Wait a few more days, then do another test... you can always pop down to your GU clinic... (read in full...)

When he dumped me, I had realized how mean I was to him and wanted to change, but it was too late. What can I do to get him back?

Q.   I wonder if someone can help me. Me and my boyfriend had been together for just about 10 months. We had a lot of big things happen to us, that I think kept us stronger in the beggining of the relationship. He had totaled my car, and I also got...

A.   5 September 2008: Maybe this is your chance to make those changes within you, it may be too late to save this relationship, just make sure you dont make the same mistakes next time well done for admitting you have a problem, thats really cool... (read in full...)

Can the love and affection of two people, in the wrong place and time, jut don't work?

Q.   I really am new to love. I have really had bad relationships. . . Then while trying to fish information about my cheating husband, I fell for his acquaintance. This led to a one year over the phone, six time physical encounter which was most ...

A.   5 September 2008: i would say it is the end, but i am not you and have not experienced the love you feel for eachother. Why not have a break and see how you feel in a few months time... heres an extract from a son "if you love someone let them go, and if it comes ... (read in full...)

Should I keep on dating my teacher?

Q.   I meet this guy as my teacher in highschool for one of my classes. Things started out simple enough where he was the teacher and i was the student, nothing more than that. but soon causal flirting from both of us started taking place, yet nothing ...

A.   5 September 2008: you have to think about his reputation as a teacher... this could loose him his job.. please be careful... (read in full...)

Our friendship is dwindling! Did I do something wrong?

Q.   hello all, i know a girl for a month and our freindship was so great, just great!. i have read some articles about how to know if she is interested or not interested and i find the two signs in her (interested and not). our freindsh...

A.   5 September 2008: You probably didnt do anything wrong.. all you can do is stay being nice to her, perhaps invite her out again and see where you get... if not, it's her loss... (read in full...)

I'm a shadow of the woman I used to be in my marriage. Has his emotional cruelty turned me into this?

Q.   Would love to hear any advice. I am completely overwhelmed with my situation and don't know where to begin to sort it out. For at least the last 10 years of my 15 years of married life I have been unhappy. I have always found my husband to be ...

A.   5 September 2008: Have you thought about a womans refuge? Friends you could move in with? This sounds like depression, make an appt with your doc and talk everything through. Take a copy of what you have written here if it helps. Feel free to email me as i do know... (read in full...)

Wondering if my ex's current relationship is a rebound and if she has really gotten over me...

Q.   My girlfriend of a year broke up with me because i did some bad things, not cheating. I know I was wrong and she didn't think I could change. So I went through some changes for a month or so talking to people realizing what I did. She still was ...

A.   5 September 2008: She may be on the rebound, but only she really knows that... you can use this to make you stronger. And it's her loss anyway... (read in full...)

What is the contraceptive coil like?

Q.   I am living with my boyfriend and we both have no STDs but we use condoms for contraceptive purposes. However, I do not like the feel of them as I find the way they crease uncomfortable. Plus I find them a hassle to always think about, they decrease ...

A.   5 September 2008: I found the coil exceedingly painfull for the first week, and my periods were worse.. you could always speak to your GP about the implant, it goes under your arm, stays there for 3 years, and you can have it removed at any stage... (read in full...)

Will the condom stop working if he stays inside you after sex?

Q.   i was just reading on one of the other questions 'Cosmo says sex should last 45 minutes. What do you do all that time' that it said: "Many couples like to stay coupled as the guy grows soft inside the girl. (You should NOT do this if you are rely...

A.   5 September 2008: Uncle Phil has answered correctly... as he usually does, have you considered any other form of contraception?... (read in full...)

Why do lonely people looking for love stay single?

Q.   I'm nearly 25 and haven't had a proper girlfriend. I remember back when i was 15 and my best mate got with the girl i liked and how terrible i felt. i moped for weeks. then about a year later - i was seeing a girl (if you can call it that) for about ...

A.   5 September 2008: When you find inner confidence, others will be drawn to you... its just getting that confidence that's the hard bit. feel free to message me. xxx... (read in full...)

What can I do to get my mom to understand I'm having protected sex with a guy I love?

Q.   ten days ago, i got in from a night out to find that my mum had found my pills. i am 15 and 11 months and have a boyfriend who is 17 and 2 months. we have been together a year now, but about three months ago, the question of sex had come up, he ...

A.   5 September 2008: Your boyfriend could be sent to prison as you are underage. That may be why your mum has the problem. dont mean to be harsh, but what if you end up like me, with a baby at 16.. will you cope? if you can, good luck to you, if not, make sure your p... (read in full...)

How tight is a normal vagina?

Q.   I am 19 and i am a virgin but my boyfriend and I have discussed it and we have both decided we are ready for sex and I am excited but also very worried because I have some concerns about my vagina I have been fingered a couple of times and both peo...

A.   5 September 2008: Have loads of foreplay, as this will help you moisten up. Your vagina can push out a baby, so although it may uncomfortable the first few times, you most certainly will not be "too tight"... (read in full...)

How could she be so careless with birth control?

Q.   Hi, im 25 and my girlfirend 23. i am a college student with one more year to go. I've been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years now. I took her virginity and we never use condoms. at first we used pull-out method, but after a few pregnancy scares, ...

A.   3 September 2008: calm down... i never remembered to take the pill... she can always go on the implant.. called implanon. this is insterted under your arm and stays current for 3 years... you can have it taken out at anytime aswell. Then she wont need to reme... (read in full...)

How can I ask my close friend out in a subtle manner?

Q.   I like a shy guy. As I've hung out with him in group settings we've gotten to know each other better. I am pretty sure he likes me too. He treats me different than my other friend who's a girl. I want to ask him out in a low key way, so I don't ...

A.   3 September 2008: first of all, say to the guy... why dont you and me go to the (insert your choice of anything), so we can soend some time together? Its worked for me lol... just make it clear you want to go with him alone. As for this other guy, when he mov... (read in full...)

Am I at the right age to father a child? What do you all think?

Q.   Hi, What is a right or optimum age to have a baby? I'm 22 and I feel like I'm at a prime age to father a child of my own. My girlfriend (same age) says we are too young and that we should wait. We both work full time so we have regular income a...

A.   2 September 2008: thats a really wise idea, you could even put sume in an account for the littleun when he/she does eventually come along... baby stuff is very expensive and if your gf can see how genuine you are, she may come round a bit quicker... (read in full...)

Can you get an STD from giving oral?

Q.   Can you contract an STD by giving a blow job?? ...

A.   1 September 2008: why ask the question if you dont plan on doing it?... (read in full...)

Is it rape if it was your boyfriend?

Q.   Was hanging out with my boyfriend one night and he wanted us to go to the drive in later that night after dinner so i agreed and when we got there we let all of the seats down to get comfortable and in the middle of the movie he starts unbuttoning ...

A.   1 September 2008: email me... (read in full...)

He cheated to be with me...will he do it to me?

Q.   I really like this guy and he has cheated on his girlfriend (my best friend) to be with me and I am scared that when I do get with him he will cheat on me. Is this true?...

A.   1 September 2008: The only thing i can say is probably.. yes. Sorry this is harsh, but if he does it to one, he will likely do it to another. I obviously cant say for sure, but it seems likely... (read in full...)

I'm 13 and I wish I could have sex with this boy I really liked! Help!

Q.   Hi im 13 and i want sex really badly i dream about it but i wish it was reality. Its always with this boy that i really like. Well i say like, but what i mean is love. I have tried telling him but he blanks me. i had a passionate kiss with him in...

A.   1 September 2008: YOU ARE 13 YEARS OLD!!!!! We have the 16 years old law for a reason... you want to try and wait as long as you can, and make it really special. i know the hormones going through your body must make it really hard for you, but you must understa... (read in full...)

Am I at the right age to father a child? What do you all think?

Q.   Hi, What is a right or optimum age to have a baby? I'm 22 and I feel like I'm at a prime age to father a child of my own. My girlfriend (same age) says we are too young and that we should wait. We both work full time so we have regular income a...

A.   1 September 2008: you both need to work together on this one... i was 15 when i fell pregnant, and although thats young, i coped really well and my daughter is growing up helathy and happy... You cant start a family if your gf isnt ready... that would be wron... (read in full...)

How do I escape from my abusive boyfriend?

Q.   i have been with my boyfriend for 2 years we have been living together for 1 year everynight is the same story i end up in bed crying my eyes out, he constantly accuses of me of infidelity and being places i have never heard of, hes always putting ...

A.   29 August 2008: i have been in the same situation as you babe, and i know how you feel... but you need to remember that it is unlikely he will change. You may not believe it just yet, but you are worth a lot more than being treated like that. The hard part is ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend treats me really bad... will he change someday?

Q.   Hi, I apologize if this is long but it wil help u understand, I think neway. He has ben my boyfriend 4 almost 2yrs now. There have been sum issues but it seems 2 b getin worse. Here is sum backgrnd info on him tht mite help. ill try 2make this s...

A.   29 August 2008: I was in a bad relationship for 3 and a half years, and i can safely say that i doubt your bf will change.. hitting your gf is NEVER acceptable, and the more he feels he can get away with it the worse it will become. I know you obviously like him a ... (read in full...)

Can this medicine used for the relief of nausea affect the effectiveness of the contraceptive pill?

Q.   I just have a simple question: I started taking birth control pills recently accompanied by moderate nausea in the mornings. If I take some pepto-bismol, will it help? Can it affect the effectiveness of the pill? ...

A.   29 August 2008: pepto-bismal wont affect the effectiveness of your pill, but as superrrshawna says, get your doc to change your pill, possibly to an oestrogen only one... (read in full...)

What did he mean when he said this?

Q.   Ok this has confused me abit. Well before i start i'd like you to know that this bullying is mroe or less over but i'm still wondering about this. Basically afew members of the group suddenly took a disliking to me, never found out why or anything...

A.   29 August 2008: we dont know these people so we cant really answer... i guess whether or not the guy is still showing that he likes you is rellavent becuase if he is showing you that he likes you, he was probably saying it in a good way.. if he doesnt.... well then ... (read in full...)

Do you think I made the right decision on backing down in the relationship?

Q.   Ok so me and this guy are in a relationship, both of us are with other people as well. My guy just found out that his mom has cancer so I thought the best thing for our relationship would be for me to back down. He is all his mother has and with all ...

A.   29 August 2008: Only you know if this was the right desicion for you... do you feel better, does your ex feel better, are you on good terms? would you still be able to support him if things go wrong? If you are still friends, amicable and you both agree it is fo... (read in full...)

He has an anger problem and I want to leave him! How can I do this without getting hurt?

Q.   I had posted a question a while back, wondering what to do about my boyfriend with an anger problem. i've now reached the point where i'm ready to leave, as soon as my mother gets a place, hopefully before August. My question is HOW do i leave ...

A.   8 July 2008: oh babe! i know your situation, because i was there myself not so long back. well done for getting up the courage to leave. the best thing you can do, is invite a friend over, sit him down and simply say: its over, im leaving now. then get up to l... (read in full...)

She's married and says she'll leave her husband but hasn't yet...give it up or hold on?

Q.   I started an affair with a married woman some 2 years ago now although had worked with each other 3 years before. She was unhappy in her marriage and wanted to be loved. I was wary of getting involved since we worked with each other and obviously we ...

A.   8 July 2008: i wont give you the whole lecture, because i am sure you know it already, but if she hasnt left her husband yet, she wont. you have to be careful before there is too much upset. find yourself someone else (easier said than done i know) who ISNT... (read in full...)

My girlfriend became friends with my best friend and now he is hitting on her!

Q.   So, my girlfriend and I have been dating for four years. I am 22 and she is almost 23. Our relationship started out as a long distance relationship (me in MD and her in NY). I met her at my brothers wedding, as she is my sister in laws cousin. ...

A.   8 July 2008: with you feeling so upset babe, i wouldnt try to sort things out. im sure you can do tonnes better as you sound like a really nice guy!... (read in full...)

Is it because of excessively watching porn videos that I have difficulty in maintaining an erection?

Q.   who thinks that the porn industry wrecks men's sex lives? who thinks porn and to much sexual images causes damage in erections? the reason im asking this question is because for many years i used to masterbate to porn ( 11 years to be exact) b...

A.   22 June 2008: dont worry about the rude people. they obviously dont get any sex and therefore cant sympathise with you. relax and you will be fine... does your gf mind? i know i had a bf once with the same problem, and it was only when i told him it wasnt his... (read in full...)

My girlfriend became friends with my best friend and now he is hitting on her!

Q.   So, my girlfriend and I have been dating for four years. I am 22 and she is almost 23. Our relationship started out as a long distance relationship (me in MD and her in NY). I met her at my brothers wedding, as she is my sister in laws cousin. ...

A.   22 June 2008: awww baby, that sounds awfull. you soundlike a really decent bloke, so hopefully you will find a really decent girl, and, some really decent mates. i think maybe it is time to lick your wounds and move on. all the best... (read in full...)

I always end up with a wrong partner, what am I doing wrong?

Q.   Way is it that everytime i think i found the right guy.I allways end up with the wrong one,the partner i have cheated on me so many times and i will like to know what am i doing wrong....

A.   21 June 2008: i have had a load of really horrible relationships. it is important for you to know that IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. get out of this relatoinship as soon as you can and try to find someone who really cares for you. you may find a few more wronguns, but ... (read in full...)

My sister keeps fainting. Does anyone know what it might be?

Q.   My little sister keeps on fainting. It's pretty scray. She says that it only happens when she's really tired. She'll get up out of bed or from sitting down and a few minuets later she'll hit the deck. I saw her faint this morning (It was the f...

A.   21 June 2008: whats her age? go back to docs and pester!!!!! if she does it again, call 911 (999 or whatever the emergancy number is over there for an ambulance) i hope this gets better as it must be hard... (read in full...)

My girlfriend became friends with my best friend and now he is hitting on her!

Q.   So, my girlfriend and I have been dating for four years. I am 22 and she is almost 23. Our relationship started out as a long distance relationship (me in MD and her in NY). I met her at my brothers wedding, as she is my sister in laws cousin. ...

A.   21 June 2008: you need a chat with your mate... there are rules that just are not meant to be broken... and he is breaking one of them. if she is responding in an inappropriate mannor, then ditch them both, if not, tell your mate he is making her feel ... (read in full...)

Is it unreasonable to ask him to wait 6 months for me knowing that it will decrease his chances of getting a good job placement?

Q.   Hi guys, My boyfriend and I started going out knowing full well that he wants to move to the other side of the country at the end of the year. He has been studying for 5 years for his degree and wants to move to a country town to start his career...

A.   21 June 2008: yes t is... in the nicest possible way... if he gets a job, he will be et a car able to make more of an effort to come and see you. finish your course, and i hope it goes ok for you. all the best hayley ... (read in full...)

Anyone know about blood pressure? Apparently mine is high!

Q.   Really gutted because i stopped smoking 6 weeks ago, cut down the booze a bit, got a dog a couple of months ago so get a bit more exercise, and came out a stressful relationship about a month ago. yet i went for a new patient health check at the new ...

A.   21 June 2008: it doesnt sound too bad to me... you should be fine. if you were nervous about the appt, then that could be why. dont stress over it and you will be fine, bp can change throughout the month so just chill and relax! all the best... (read in full...)

Should I do something about my marriage problems or should I pray my way through these red flags?

Q.   Should I pray my way through "red flags" that reveal a selfish and controlling personality in my husband or am I being a blind fool to keep trying to find a way to respect him when he blatantly disregards the feelings of me and my children? In the ...

A.   21 June 2008: talk to him. tell him how you feel. you cant live like this honey can you? and you obviously have feeling for you seeing as he is your partner! talk, talk, talk and maybe go for some marriage counselling. try not to let things turn messy and you ... (read in full...)

If I look at another guy's penis out of curiosity, does it mean I am gay?

Q.   iam 16 years old, sometimes i have some curiousity to look at other's guy's penis !but i am not gay i wondered if is it mean that i am gay or someting ?and if is it a normal thing ?plz helpe me guys and thanks ...

A.   21 June 2008: you said yourself you are not gay... so your not lol. being curious is a normal part of growing up, comparing yourself to others, seeing where you fit in, making some kind of unwritten hierachy. you are fine babe, honest!... (read in full...)

Was this guy just being friendly or do his actions mean he feels something?

Q.   hi everyone just like a few opionions to my question. If you were out in a group and a guy was holding your hand(and not doing it with anyone else) do you think it means he has feelings for you. Also he kept hugging and giving me kisses on the ...

A.   21 June 2008: i does sound as if he is interested, but it is hard to be sure. do some subtle flirting and see how he responds. also, look at his eyes. people's blink rates increase when they are attracted to someone, so see if he blinks more when he is looking at ... (read in full...)

Is it because of excessively watching porn videos that I have difficulty in maintaining an erection?

Q.   who thinks that the porn industry wrecks men's sex lives? who thinks porn and to much sexual images causes damage in erections? the reason im asking this question is because for many years i used to masterbate to porn ( 11 years to be exact) b...

A.   21 June 2008: maybe you should focus your attention on making the woman cum. hearing her may make it easier for you... (read in full...)

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