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*hippymunk agony aunt

*hippymunk

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Why would he say things like this? is he lying?

Q.   Why would he say things like this? is he lying? I rang my ex boyfriend to ask a few questions about our relationship cos I feel like I every time I love a guy he leaves me heart broken. My ex lied, cheated and broke up with me. Anyways so I as...

A.   15 April 2011: I would stay away from him if I were you. I had an ex who cheated on me and begged me to forgive her. I did and after a couple months of getting used to me again, she cheated on me a second time. Don't let yourself fall into the battered womens ... (read in full...)

I'm Chinese and her mom hates Chinese people!

Q.   I have a little problem. I have met my current girlfriend online and have known her for over two years now. We recently began seeing each other but she hasn't told her mom about me yet. The problem is that her mom hates chinese and I am chinese. She ...

A.   14 April 2011: She's 18 but has no job and lives with her mom. Her mom is very controlling and she tells me she gets yelled at for the smallest things.... (read in full...)

I couldn't do it! Is that normal?

Q.   i had the chance today to move forward with my girlfriend...i honestly thought that i was ready but i froze and couldnt bring myself to "do it"! is there something wrong with me or it natural or what?...

A.   30 January 2011: Totally normal! It is absolutely terrifying to make that move. But that is a good thing because it shows that you care about her. You are afraid because you are scared that your "move" will frighten her off and you'll lose her. Don't worry, you will ... (read in full...)

Best friend, who's in a long term relationship, declares his love for my girlfriend

Q.   Dear all, I have been with my girlfriend for over a year, and we have a strong relationship. Last night, however, she revealed to me that one of my supposed closest friends told her that he was in love with her, and that I was a bastard who wasn...

A.   30 January 2011: You must be mature in this situation. How you are approaching this is correct. Do not threaten him, but just let him know that you know. He was drunk at the time so it may have been an accident or he didn't fully mean all the things he said. Tell ... (read in full...)

Why are bigger breasts bigger?

Q.   How to learn to love small breasts? I have small breasts, and I don't like how they look. I know women can look good with small breasts, like Kate Hudson or Natalie Portman, but I just don't think they look sexy or hot, just pretty. I'm also...

A.   29 January 2011: I don't know about others, but I prefer smaller breasts to larger ones! For me, there are no breasts that can be "too small," but there are ones that can be too big and totally turn me off. I think guys "say" they prefer larger breasts only in front ... (read in full...)

Has anyone ever heard of someone my age or older initiating a career in music and being successful?

Q.   Good evening (and happy Valentine's Day) everyone, I didn't feel comfortable revealing my identity, but I will say this: that I'm one of the "regular" aunts on this site. Anytime someone needs me, I'm always happy to listen and I understand feeli...

A.   15 February 2009: Hello there fellow aunt! That was quite a story but I don't think you have anything to worry about. I'm sort of in the situation but with a passion in a different field. Ever since elementary, everyone thought I was mentally handicapped for the dumb ... (read in full...)

I can't get intimate with anyone

Q.   I can't get intimate with any one! My last tender moment was about four years ago i don't know whats wrong. im healthy not bad looking pretty articulate if a little dyslexic.(excuse the spelling mistakes) i have full time job or tho on off for last...

A.   11 January 2009: Hmm, perhaps your symptoms are a result of your fearfulness of doing something wrong and either embarrassing yourself or scaring the girl away. I'm not sure how severe your nervous episodes are, but I think it's pretty normal for everybody to panic ... (read in full...)

I'm 30 and never had a girlfriend

Q.   I am 30 (just) and I have never had a girlfriend. In fact, I have never even kissed a girl or lost my virginity. It is not something I like to broadcast as everyone I know is in a relationship or has been in one, and it makes me feel inadequate. I ...

A.   11 January 2009: Yikes! For a second there I thought you were me! Exact same situation as you except I'm 25. I did mope about it for a while but decided it's better to concentrate on life instead. I totally understand your situation about being knocked back. There ... (read in full...)

Do I have to say in front of mom that I've had sex

Q.   I'm going on bith control, my mother will be in the room with the doctor as well but do i have to tell him that i've already had sex as my mother does not know and i dont want her to. will it do any harm if i say no i've not and sex?? ...

A.   4 January 2009: You probably shouldn't lie to your doctor as this is a health issue. I know you don't want your parents to know but I think your health is more important than keeping it a secret. Your mom will most likely get mad at first but if she loves you, ... (read in full...)

Being stalked..what to do?

Q.   Is it ok to hit a man or get someone else to hit him if he is stalking you and threatening to harm your child? I've been to the police but they say there is nothing they can do. I'm at my wits end. Help....

A.   28 December 2008: Are you sure you have went to the police? Because if they ignore your plight and you end up getting hurt, they can be in big trouble. As for hitting him, it may or may not be ok. I don't know the laws in UK but I believe that we did derive o... (read in full...)

Big age difference! End it?

Q.   Im dating someone whos 19 years older then me...and i dont know if i should finish it because of the age gap. Help? ...

A.   27 December 2008: Disregard the age difference and answer this question - Do you love him? Age is just a number. Being with the one you love is much more important than worrying about what people might think.... (read in full...)

Break in and take me!

Q.   what is the deal????? my sister said she has a weird fetish of sort, and asked my opinion. here goes.She wants her boyfriend to pretend to break into her house, and pretend to rape her! she loves really hard core sex, and thinks its sexy when a guy ...

A.   14 December 2008: I think I can understand your situation but to quote Sigmund Freud, "The only unnatural sexual behavior is none at all." So as long as people are fulfilling their fetishes in a safe way, then I won't pry into it too much. Would you believe there are ... (read in full...)

He likes me but he doesn't love me

Q.   My boyfriend is a wonderful man who I have been seeing for 10 months now. I know it's not that long but I have really fallen for him but he doesn't love me. I have known him for almost 2 years and we started out as friends. I started to feel ...

A.   14 December 2008: Indeed everyone needs to be loved. I would probably give him no more than a year (on top of your 10 months with him). If he still isn't able to grow onto you in almost 2 years time, then it's doubtful he ever will. Of course breaking up with him ... (read in full...)

He likes me but he doesn't love me

Q.   My boyfriend is a wonderful man who I have been seeing for 10 months now. I know it's not that long but I have really fallen for him but he doesn't love me. I have known him for almost 2 years and we started out as friends. I started to feel ...

A.   13 December 2008: Chippymunk's prescription: Give it a bit more time =) He may just be stubborn and is slow to fall in love. But if he still doesn't return your feelings after a couple more months, then I think the best course of action is to move on. I understand... (read in full...)

My Stepson Films Me Naked

Q.   while cleaning my stepsons room recently i accidentally pressed play on his vcr and to my horror it was a video of myself getting undressed in my dressing room, he must have put a hidden camera in the curtains which wasn't there when i checked. I...

A.   13 December 2008: I agree with the previous posters that you must do something but I am also going to take your word that telling his father would cause serious problems, perhaps problems that will be of greater trouble (abusive dad, etc.). Having studied sexual ... (read in full...)

Went To Uni, Didn't Enjoy The Following Job, Now Where Do I Go? I'm Lost...

Q.   I did my A Levels and went to University after school, thinking I really wanted to go into one industry. I did for a few years, but really didn't enjoy it, Uni did NOT prepare me for the real world. So I left, and felt totally lost for quite s...

A.   13 December 2008: Hey there! You aren't alone here. I went through almost 5 years of criminology before someone told me its alright to dump it and go for what you really love. So I switched to science and am liking it so far. People tell me I've wasted so much time ... (read in full...)

He's always staring in my direction, is it because he likes me?

Q.   I like this guy but I don't know if he likes me back. I always catch him staring at me and looking in my direction and when I look towards him he is always smiling. Does he like me?...

A.   7 December 2008: It's hard to say. I think most guys your age quickly look away if they are staring at a girl they like and she looks back. I remember back in high school there was one girl who kept waving at me, so after a while I asked her if she was waving at me. ... (read in full...)

He has been hurt badly in the past, do you think I have a chance with him?

Q.   I live with someone whom I love very much, he says he loves me in his own way, he has been hurt very badly in the past by 3 other girlfriends, do you think I have a chance with him or should I go?...

A.   7 December 2008: Yes, I believe you do have a chance, but since he has been hurt in the past, it'll take more time for him to feel comfortable enough to go through the steps. I'm sure he wants to love you too but is just being cautious to avoid being hurt again. I ... (read in full...)

I'm soon to be married to a she-devil.

Q.   Dear Cupid, I'm a 28 year old man from India. I'm an investment banker and about to be married to a lawyer in about 60 days time. In the last 150 days of our engagement, we have gottent to know each other a little, even confessed love. But...

A.   7 December 2008: If you think she is the "devil" now, imagine your thoughts about her in 5 or 10 years. She may or may not change but are you willing to take that risk? All I can say is that you should have no doubts at all about marrying the person you love, and it ... (read in full...)

How can a beautiful girl become sexy, hot and appealing for guys?

Q.   Guys say "What a sexy and Hot girl" to some girls. My friends say that I am beautiful, have a good figure but I don't look sexy and hot. I have also seen, guys find my friend appealing who is not beautiful. I get a lot less attention. How can a...

A.   7 December 2008: I cannot speak for other guys but for me what makes a woman "sexy" is more on how she acts than how she dresses. For example, I may see a very attractive woman but if she acts all reserved, not returning glances, not smiling, then I'll get the idea ... (read in full...)

Should I break up with him over this?

Q.   Im a vagan and my boyfriend (im 15 and hes 16) eats meat like it's the only food left in the world. I tried not to let come between us but one day we went to a restaurant. He ordered veal When he got it he was bf: Look its Betty the cow. He...

A.   7 December 2008: Ahh, boys at his age will be immature like that. I don't think he means to disrespect you on purpose. In fact, I think I "played" with my food in front of a girl before when I was at his age. I wasn't trying to offend her, just trying to show her ... (read in full...)

Do I wait for her till she's done with her friends?

Q.   Do I wait for her? Dear Cupid I met this girl (Let’s call her Kim) last year at college and we dated for some months. The first month it was just fine until I broke up with her, cuz I felt there was nothing growing between us, but after another mo...

A.   23 November 2008: Sorry to say this but, I don't think she'll ever be "done" with her friends. And from what I can tell, she also has trouble making decisions as she is easily influenced by her friends. I'm also guessing they aren't good people for the fact that they ... (read in full...)

After our first date he said he'd text me - should I wait for his call or initiate it myself?

Q.   hi i went out on a date with this guy it was our first date, but i've been left with a confused feeling i don't know how he feels maybe you could help! during the date he kept asking questions getting to know me better, he even said its abou...

A.   23 November 2008: How long ago was your date? If it was only a few days ago, I'd give him some more time in case he is held up or busy and also to avoid coming off as being clingy. If it was awhile ago then you may try calling him but not about the last date. Maybe ... (read in full...)

Would it be a problem if I told him directly?

Q.   I am almost depressed because of being single for a long time. I had just 1 boyfriend in whole my life that we broke up 3 years ago. everybody agrees that I am beautiful, friendly and sociable. I have a lot of boys roaming around me and all of my ...

A.   22 November 2008: Hey, I'm pretty much in the same boat as you are, except my friends (even my parents) think I'm gay because I never had a gf and it really hurts when they tease me about it. But I have to agree with the posts below, and don't think you should tell ... (read in full...)

I feel very alone and unwanted, and I don't know what to do.

Q.   i dont know what to do im 18 i have very frew friends cant seem to find a girlfriend i hardly ever talk 2 my mum or dad we can sit in same room without speaking 4 days i feel very alone and unwanted i dont no what to do any help...

A.   14 October 2008: Don't worry, you're not alone as i'm pretty much in the same situation. Maybe even worse as my parents are emotionally abusive instead of just ignoring me. I also can't seem to find a gf, and have very few friends as they all found someone and went ... (read in full...)

I have these stupid obsessions, right now it's Richard Hammond.

Q.   Help! I am 14 and all my friends seem to have boyfriends. I am the only one in my year who has never had a boyf and it's really getting me down. I recently went through some points with my social life and I am too forward with people. Also, I have...

A.   29 September 2008: Hey there, I know how hard it can be when all your friends have someone and you don't (I'm in the same situation). But try not to worry too much about it, you're still really young. The thing is, your friends' boyfriends are most likely aesthetic ... (read in full...)

I can't bring myself to ask her out

Q.   Ok,, I'm having a bit of a problem. Theres this girl I like and I think she does me, thing is, I can't bring myself to ask her out, or even ask for her number, I do talk to her quite a bit and I really believe that shes meant for me. Now, 2 th...

A.   28 September 2008: Hi, I was in a very similar situation as you a few weeks ago. We spoke at work fine but when it came down to asking for her # or something, I completely phased out. If you're too scared and not in a rush, then take your time to build up your ... (read in full...)

I hate my dad. Please help!

Q.   hey i really need some help and advice.. im 13 years old and i apsalutly h8 my dad!! my mum is desabled and for instance my mum fell out of her wheel chair when i was younger.. and my dad was drunk on the sofa. so my mum had to crawl her way t...

A.   14 September 2008: Hi there. I just wanted to let you know that I know how you feel. My parents were extremely abusive towards me while I was your age. I'm asian, and my parents did things the traditional way and always resorted to violence to solve things since their ... (read in full...)

I'm 18 years old and I have never had a proper girlfriend!

Q.   i'm 18 and haven't had a proper girlfriend. Only kissed once 2years ago. I've lost all hope! Everyone says the time will come, i been lookin for 6years at least and nothing has happened. Its me isn't it? I'm really nice, girls love me but only as ...

A.   10 September 2008: If you think you got it bad, I'm 25, never had a gf, and never even kissed anyone. You're not the only one losing hope =P... (read in full...)

I have no clue what he's thinking! Does he not like me as a friend, is he uncomfortable or intimidated?

Q.   It's kind of a long post, but I really have no clue what hes thinking and how i'm feeling, because i'm so confused at the moment. Okay, well.. In May 2008 I started dating this guy in my school, I knew him for a year before because he was new, and...

A.   8 September 2008: I'm sure there are reasons for his akwardness around you. He may be "weird" around you because he might not know how you feel about him or the situation. He may think that you hate him or have a grudge against him because he chose another girl over ... (read in full...)

Why does my boyfriend deny he has watched porn with all the evidense on his face?

Q.   i kee finding evidence of porn viewed on my partners pc but when i confront him about it he adamantly denies it, when it is blatantly obvious! we are from different countries which has meant that we have been apat for months at a time! please ...

A.   7 September 2008: Try not to only think of this as a bad thing. Your bf may just be trying to keep his pride. Maybe he thinks viewing porn is below him and to admit doing so would make him less of a good partner in your eyes. Tell him that you know he watches porn ... (read in full...)

I feel left out since all my high school friends are paired off.

Q.   recently this year, i did quarrelled with my only friends i had over a many reasons. firstly, last year we were all very close. simply because we are all single and have been going a rough patch in our love life. and this year, all of them got ...

A.   7 September 2008: Don't worry, you're not alone. I'm in the same situation, except I've never even had a gf before. All my friends have someone and whenever I go out with them, they'd bring them along so i'd be the only single guy. I do feel akward and maybe even a ... (read in full...)

Am I shallow because I found him physically unattractive?

Q.   Am I being shallow? I have just met a guy for the first time on a dating site. We got on famously and really gelled with personality. The problem is, I actually thought he was physically very unattractive to me and didn't fancy him at all. He wants ...

A.   6 September 2008: Hello, no I don't think you're shallow. I think everybody has their own thing that attracts them. For example, some people are attracted to money, some to looks, some to personality, etc. And in return, some people have money but not looks, some ... (read in full...)

Anybody have any advice on what I should do?

Q.   I'm beginning... Actually, I already think I am. I'm 25, never had a gf, never even kissed a girl, and still live with my parents. I don't think i'm ugly, in fact, most people tell me i'm cute. And it's not like I don't try to ask people out, I just ...

A.   6 September 2008: Ah, thanks guys for the advice. But the problem is, I do act confident and happy around people (well, not TOO happy as to freak people out) but it's still not working. Maybe nice guys really do finish last? I've been told that I put people's needs ... (read in full...)

Why all this HATE towards me and show of temper?

Q.   I met a guy a few months ago whilst on vacation and became friends-he wanted more but I held back because he was quite good at telling everyone in the hotel things and I did not want that spread around. he also got very angry in front of everyone ...

A.   30 August 2008: My best advice is to start ignoring him. He seems like a real jerk. He already hates you so to dwell on that is just going to stress you out more, and that's probably what he wants. It's better to rid him of your life so you can enjoy it again. Be ... (read in full...)

How can I initiate a friendship after the break up?

Q.   I was communicating with a man from an online-dating site for a few weeks. After our first date, we mutually agreed to meet-up again. The conversation flowed really well and we were both excited about seeing one another again. However, hours before ...

A.   30 August 2008: I wouldn't think it'll be out of line. If say I broke up with someone, i'd love for them to have the courage to ask for us to still be friends. It's always good to have a new friend, and who knows, perhaps that "chemistry" just needs a little more ... (read in full...)

Was she lying about him molesting her or was she just cheating on me?

Q.   I would like to find out what you would do my girlfriend called me up 1 day saying a guy(her friend) tried to molest her when he invited her to go out because it was the last day he was in town. She gave me his number to call him up. Then he told ...

A.   30 August 2008: Hmm this one is hard, but I'm suspicious that she used the word "mistake." If I got into my ex-gf's car and we had a fight or something, i'd most likely say, "I shouldn't of have gotten in." not, "It was a mistake." (implying something more serious) ... (read in full...)

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