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... Send *vyblue a private message | | | *vyblue's profile:What qualifies me to help people…? Well to be honest I don't really know. I consider myself to be a life long learner therefore far from knowing everything. I believe the "outsider looking in" kind of advice can sometimes be the best because it can be the most eye opening and honest response that you will find.
Where do I live…? I sometimes wish I lived in the land of LaLa but for the time being I live in the Land Down Under.
My family makes me tick. They are my motivation for most things that I do choose to do.
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Wife's drunken antics took a turn for worse, and yet I am somehow the bad guy. What did I do wrong?
Q. To understand the question I'm asking, I must go over in detail what has transpired for the past couple weeks. My wife and I have been married for 6 months, and have been together for 5 years. She has been married before, and had a son with a person ...
A. 1 November 2015: I agree with your brother. From your post it doesn't sound as though you did anything wrong. You married an out of control nasty drunk. Sorry but she needs a reality check. If she,when sober,is of the opinion that you had no right to be keeping her ... (read in full...)
My husband cheated and left me and now he wants to talk. What should I do?
Q. Hi, I was married for 30 years. My husband left me three years ago and went off with another woman who he met through as. He has been sober now for six months and I got the first text today from him saying he was sorry for all the hurt he caused and ...
A. 30 October 2015: Thats a long time to apologise. Sounds like it's either ended with her or ending. be super careful of his true intentions. ... (read in full...)
Is he cheating? He changed passwords without telling me and has been gone long hours!
Q. My husband works as a sales rep, he went out yesterday 6am got back in 920pm at night. He rang at 5 pm to ask what me and our son wanted for tea and said he wouldn't be home until 830pm. He thought i would be ok with him when he got home ...
A. 30 October 2015: 4:45 - 9:20 thats ALOT of heavy traffic. Two phones, whats wrong with using a work phone for work purposes and if the second one is for personal use has he given you the number and how often does he call you from that number? Did you ask him if he ... (read in full...)
Why is this happening now? Two years later? Now I'm plagued with dreams that remind me of his affair
Q. hi everyone. Some advice would be great. Cut a long story short my partner had an affair nearly two years ago now. We had been together for four years at the time, we both weren't happy and then I found out the reason why- he had had a six week a...
A. 29 October 2015: Flashbacks-classic traits of being cheated on. I once read of a married man having them out of the blue some ten years later. You know what, I think it is important to let him know what you have been experienceing. Because this is an unfair burden ... (read in full...)
He wants our son to meet his new girlfriend. But he's imposing restrictions on our son's contact with my boyfriend. How can I move on?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles, ive got a question what would you do in this situation. I was with my ex for five years, we had a child together. We got back together but in this time I didn't realise he had met someone else. He had moved away and would...
A. 29 October 2015: I think if you don't stand your ground from the get go you are leaving yourself open to ongoing manipulation and control. Perhaps a solution could be to have him meet your partner but let him know it is out of consideration being your sons father ... (read in full...)
I am the parent to my teen brother - our parents are deceased. My brother is now 14. How do I raise and discuss talking about sex and all that to him?
Q. When i was 16 i held my baby brother in my arms and said to dad "god he's small, i'm not baby sitting". Well i think i changed his nappies more times then mum used to. Honestly a few years later when i went off to university my biggest joy coming h...
A. 29 October 2015: Buy a box of laundry detergent and put it on his bed. if he asks why respond with I was 14 once too mate, smile and leave it at that! Maybe leave it few days and take him out, do something 'BLOKEY', grab a bite to eat and ask him if he has thought ... (read in full...)
Is there any advice for peace of mind in a long distance relationship?
Q. I'm 15. Met a girl from another country (quite close) on a school trip. Love her. Still talk but difficult because can't meet. We're obviously both at school. Advice for peace of mind?...
A. 28 October 2015: LDR are very difficult for most people to contend with mate. I think it would be wise to keep things real by not trying to put a romantic spin on things rather being fortunate to meet a nice girl with whom you can chill with over the net. ... (read in full...)
I'm in a new relationship and want to know if I should tell him about sleeping with my ex when we were just starting to date?
Q. Hello, I am in a new relationship which is going so well and I am extremely happy, when I first dated this man I was still in contact with my ex on a civil level or as friends as most would say, I went on a few dates with this new man and didn't ...
A. 28 October 2015: No- put it to bed. ... (read in full...)
Is he telling the truth? Why is there a porn site on his phone history?
Q. Hi I wonder if you can help me with something. My boyfriend who I don't live with yet has a porn site showing on his phone history. I was looking up something yesterday on his phone not thinking for one moment that there would be anything like th...
A. 28 October 2015: I don't believe you were snooping at all. because I know exactly what you are referring to when you say it came up in his search history. The very moment you type something starting with P everything else starting with P comes up Pornhub, Porn,pussy ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of two years has cheated on me with his estranged wife
Q. When I was barely 17, I fell into the trap of an older and more experienced man (Adam), thinking what we had was love. I was young and naive and was fooled by his compliments. No guy had ever taken interest in me before, so I was easily blinded by ...
A. 26 October 2015: Sweetie you need to STOP for just a moment and accept that both of these men are bad men. Good men don't lie, cheat, manipulate and exploit vulnerable young ladies. They have acted disgraceful. Heartache is difficult for anyone to have to deal with, ... (read in full...)
Should I stay in a job that makes me ill, or resign?
Q. Should I stay at my current job despite it making me ill, or should I resign and apply for other jobs? I work at a small organization, and I am working 80%, and I have a colleague who works 40%. I earn way too little in comparison with ...
A. 26 October 2015: Perhaps the tides may change now that she has gone. At least for you a well deserved sigh of relief. I think being asked exactly what it would take for you to withdraw your resignation is a very opportunistic position to be in as far as being able ... (read in full...)
I can't last long in bed and I know I'm disappointing my girlfriend
Q. Hey All, First time posting here and I just want to thank anyone who answers in advance! I'll start off by saying that I have the most beautiful, adorable and amazing girlfriend in the world. She's really very fun, understanding and very honest ...
A. 25 October 2015: Tried wanking to the point of near ejaculation then stopping? Bit like restraint training.... (read in full...)
I do not want to be hurt again by my first love. Any words of wisdom, please?
Q. I have not long met up again with my first love. It was passionate buthe ended up really hurting me. We separated for over 20yrs and I have a grown family. We linked again a few months ago and the chemistry was still there. A few months later be...
A. 25 October 2015: My advice would be to take care of your current relationship before even considering juggling two. Take this old flame out of the equation for the moment because all that will brings fog thought fantasy which has all the makings of that unwanted ... (read in full...)
Would a one night stand with a divorced man be wrong?
Q. Someone I've known for years (although he's more of an acquaintance than a friend) recently got a divorce because his wife cheated on him. I've always liked the guy, he is very attractive, and we flirted, but never anything more than that. Well...
A. 24 October 2015: Once,twice or a thousand times it doesn't matter. You are both single and it's no ones business but your own. Just make sure you both have a VERY clear understanding of the rules because it doesn't take much for feelings to develop and things get ... (read in full...)
Am I being played? I've me a wonderful girl, but she's unhappily married.
Q. I met a wonderful girl at the end of june, and i have fallen so in love with her. and she said she feels the same way too. But she is married and unhappy. so now nearly 4 months in to this crazyness im feeling like im being played. we meet u...
A. 22 October 2015: I'm not sure what is wonderful, or comforting, about a person who cheats. Some one who is untrustworthy, lies, acts selfishly ,comes home and lay down in the same bed after having sex with another all the while keeping a straight faces not, what i ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's stomach is coming between us
Q. I met a guy of 40 on a dating site we have been dating 6 months. He is about to complete his divorce and has two children under 8. His wife left him two years ago and things are amicable. If I have a future will I be expected to share my house w...
A. 22 October 2015: Why does a future have to equate him moving in with you? If anything keeping different houses sounds like a better option when he is not as financially secure or savy as you. When you say 'He seems kind and very attentive' suggests that you have a ... (read in full...)
Could our marriage be fixed? We have both cheated!
Q. My husband and I have been married for two years. We have only ever been with each other and both have a very strong religious upbringing. Shortly after we were married we moved across the country and both made major career changes. We agreed to put ...
A. 22 October 2015: I think you are in a far better position than most relationships suffering adultery. Payback, or whatever, sex is not a road I would have travelled but I totally get that you did. Not to sure why his epiphany came second time round though! That ... (read in full...)
How do I fix that I cheated on my wife and then kept lying about it?
Q. Over 2 years ago I broke and destroyed my wife's heart by having an affair, at a time when we should have been at our happiest expecting our first child through IVF. On revelation of what happened I cowardly hid the truth in order to save our rela...
A. 22 October 2015: Like a broken vase, you can fix it but your marriage will ALWAYS have a weak spot, should she decide thats what she wants of course. Things might improve but what you once had is gone.
I have to ask, and in NO WAY am I discounting the affair, but ... (read in full...)
Do I have reasons to be frustrated with my boyfriend?
Q. Im currently frustrated with my boyfriend. Can you please let me know if I have reason to be frustrated or I'm just totally pms-ing? My boyfriend's friend got into an accident and needed to bring his car to get fixed at the autobody shop. My boyfr...
A. 21 October 2015: He didn't have to do anything, he chose to. I do think he was taken advantage of though, which is an annoying thing to see happen when they can't. Being assertive is not something everyone is equipped with unfortunately. You could let him know that ... (read in full...)
I feel pressured to have a boyfriend
Q. I'm a 23 year old girl. Single. Struggling businesswoman. I have lots of true friends, a loving, caring family. My career and hobbies- all are enough to make me happy. But it is a kind of unsaid peer pressure here to have a boyfriend. It is not like ...
A. 21 October 2015: Be confident in the fact that you feel you don't need BF and comfortable that you don't want one. You should feel free to live your life to the beat of your own drum. If you a not ready then you won't be willing to invest yourself anyway, so giving ... (read in full...)
My husband has cheated on me and I'm not sure if I should have children or even stay in this marriage
Q. My husband and I got married 5 years ago. We rushed into marriage after a year of LDR, during which I found out he had a 3 year old kid with somebody else. I believed him telling me he had no relationship with the mother of his child (Ana). A couple ...
A. 21 October 2015: Maybe she's telling the truth maybe she's not. Without solid proof what can you really do . Having said that Ana sounds a little bit of a mischief maker to me. Her aside, the red flag to whether you should go on to have kids is his abusive ... (read in full...)
How do I protect my children from the unwholesome things online?
Q. Hi I am a 31 yr old mother. I have 5 yr old daughter and 3 yr old son. Now a days the children are tech savvy. Even the films, their promos show some porn like scenes, objectinable language, offensive actions like raising middle finger and sometimes ...
A. 20 October 2015: Nothing is 100% fool proof I'm afraid. You could have house rules for internet usage to be in a common area, such as the family room only. Investigate parental control programs that limit and block certain content. There are ones on the market that ... (read in full...)
My piano teacher and I are close, but is it too close?
Q. My teacher and I are very close. He always tells me I'm his favorite student and we always joke and have interesting sometimes inappropriate conversations. He told me I'm beautiful, he always gets upset when other people hit on me. And he has hugged ...
A. 20 October 2015: No he should not be touching you at all. He is in a position of trust and 17 is not legally 18. When you refer to conversations sometimes being inappropriate would I be correct in assuming you mean a sexual tone because that would be not on ... (read in full...)
I've moved on, but maybe he hasn't?
Q. We broke up about 6 months ago and we go to the same uni. Basically he strung me along in the summer asking for a break but ultimately i broke up with him and he accepted without a fight. I cut contact with him and pass him almost everyday in the ...
A. 19 October 2015: Doesn't really matter why he is doing it, the point is he is and it's annoying you. Time to pull him aside and have a quiet word. Just let him know that you don't appreciate being txt at 3am and that your pissed of to think that you'd should be ok ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex is sending me screenshots about him cheating! Help!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly three years now. He has a kid with another girl. I love him so much and thought he was the one until tonight whenI got a bunch of screenshots of texts from his kid's mom about them hooking up. Apparently they ...
A. 19 October 2015: "He wants to meet with me tomorrow to explain whats happening" exactly... whats happening!
I'd go hear him out, then put it on the table that you want to sit down face to face with her, him and yourself. If he has nothing to hide hen he h... (read in full...)
Guy keeps staring at me and holds his gaze. Does he like me?
Q. There is a guy at my uni that keeps staring at me for a long time. During the lesson, he would turn his face at me and stares at me, andhe ddoesn't look away when I catch him staring at me, he would turn his face after 10 seconds and then he ...
A. 18 October 2015: Staring and smiling at someone ,in general, suggests that they fancy some one. Walking up to you without saying anything seems a little bit weird though. Do fancy him, If so next time he stares why not walk up and say 'Hi' ?... (read in full...)
Checkout confusion - flirting or just friendly customer service?
Q. There's a cute cashier at the grocery store I frequent in my town. It has been a LONG time since I dated or even really flirted with anyone and I'm not sure how I'd signal my interest to someone I don't know that well or only in a "profess...
A. 16 October 2015: For pete sake woman ask him out a drink some time? Who knows, his wink and your drink could be the start of something exciting. If not I'm sure there are plenty of other shops to go too.... (read in full...)
Why he does not stop taking to this girl who is married?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 11 years and we have a child together. He recently turn 30 and it was very hard for him. I am a year younger than him. He recently met this girl who was not married when he met her she was engaged and was ...
A. 16 October 2015: The whole bachelorette scenario sounds a bit suss to me.
You mention : "She also doesn't live close by so its not like they see each other everyday." So they see each other too?
Im sorry but if they're seeing each other, then there is a high... (read in full...)
Do I risk looking rude if I refuse to hug in future? Or do I have to fit in and do something I feel uncomfortable doing?
Q. Hi all, I come from an Asian country, where hugging is not common. I will be moving to Europe next year for my studies, and perhaps work there. I've lived there for half a year before. During that period of time, I met many people and they ...
A. 16 October 2015: Is it really going to put you that much out of your comfit zone? and I'm not asking in a rude way, just asking? I think it is important to be customary in host countries but each to their own. Mind you respecting peoples personal space is important ... (read in full...)
I'm heartbroken over my married man!
Q. I have been having an affair with a married coworker for two years...the feelings are strong and even though we knew it was wrong we always kept going back to each other. I found out last month from a mutual friend that his plan to adopt a baby ...
A. 14 October 2015: What you are experiencing is Karma. A broken heart is easier to mend in private than a broken face in public. What you need to realise is revenge is not just something reserved only for you to inflict. It's for the wife also. Like you are behaving ... (read in full...)
Is there any way around his refusal to sign these documents? It's stopping me from travelling with her.
Q. Is there any way around getting my daughter a passport when her father is refusing to sign for it or let me borrow any of the legal documents needed. He isn't apart of her life and never has been but when she was born, he came to the hospital...
A. 14 October 2015: I had the same problem. Now I'm in Australia, but all I had to do was apply for and under 'special circumstances' forms. From there it was a case of ticking the most relevant box-in my case 'Child without full parental consent' and 'No further court ... (read in full...)
Is this sexual harassment? The actions of my new boss make me feel uncomfortable.
Q. I have just started working in a new role and have found my boss's behaviour odd. He has asked me whether I am serious with boyfriend, if the relationship is flexible and can be moved around for work, how old my boyfriend is, if my boyfrien...
A. 14 October 2015: Should it happen again and it sounds like it will, simply let him know that you pride yourself on professionally integrity and prefer to keep your private life out of the office. Ignore his leering eyes, he'll hopefully get bored of trying to get ... (read in full...)
Is it more romantic to be proposed to in a public or a private place?
Q. Just wondering if some ladies (or gentleman) can help me out . Do you think it's more romantic If you were proposed to in private verses a public place. I've been thinking about asking my girlfriend to marry me but I want to include her daug...
A. 14 October 2015: To be honest, i'm just trying to picture myself in this scenario, personally i think I would at least like to be consulted on how to go about informing my child rather than just have it sprung on them. I just think it is considerate for her to be ... (read in full...)
Is it more romantic to be proposed to in a public or a private place?
Q. Just wondering if some ladies (or gentleman) can help me out . Do you think it's more romantic If you were proposed to in private verses a public place. I've been thinking about asking my girlfriend to marry me but I want to include her daug...
A. 13 October 2015: Edit:
Excited child-sorry
... (read in full...)
Is it more romantic to be proposed to in a public or a private place?
Q. Just wondering if some ladies (or gentleman) can help me out . Do you think it's more romantic If you were proposed to in private verses a public place. I've been thinking about asking my girlfriend to marry me but I want to include her daug...
A. 13 October 2015: Id go with private hands down. If she is not one for being the centre of attention to could be mortifying and uncomfortable. Then there is the added pressure of having to say yes, I sincerely hope she does of course, or even has an excited answer on ... (read in full...)
Is sexting ok when you are in a relationship?
Q. It was a two month relationship. I found him sexting other women and I lost it,cried the whole night etc,didn't let him sleep but the lies he told the other woman was devastating. I have learnt my lesson to leave if anything like this happens ...
A. 12 October 2015: no way, plain and simple. ... (read in full...)
Sporadic texts received. Why does he do this? Does he like me, still?
Q. I don't understand why someone would sporadically contact someone ? A while back I got close to a male friend but he hadn't finished things properly with who he was with It fractured the friendship and we didn't talk for nearly a year but th...
A. 12 October 2015: Who knows what really goes though peoples head with the addition that with men we have to work out which head they are thinking with. if it ended badly over a year ago and you feel as though he is now some what arrogant to boot then is he really ... (read in full...)
I'm new to online dating. Any tips please on what to do and look out for?
Q. Dear Cupid I have been around 5 yrs with my ex and I broke up with me since he was v manipulative, selfish and took a lot of money from me. Long story short, I'm kind of moving on and my friend suggested online dating site. I have a date on weeken...
A. 12 October 2015: On line dating tips 101:
My advice would be first and foremost use common sense. Don't be too forthcoming with your personal details and circumstances. Try not to wear your heart on your sleeve which is burley for 'catfishes' Aka romantic scam arti... (read in full...)
He thinks I don't like him. I'm feeling cautious about dating. What do I need to consider if I do date again?
Q. I'm a single mum to my 5 year old daughter. I have raised her on my own since she was born and I have been on my own since her father left me. I joined a dating site but I've found a lot of guys don't like the idea of a 23 year old with a 5 year o...
A. 12 October 2015: I'd be more concerned about the mother.She sounds rude, offensive and of the 'meddling' type. Perfectly natural to be feeling cautious, not just for your own being but for the welfare of your child. Without taking the time to discuss your concerns ... (read in full...)
Sporadic texts received. Why does he do this? Does he like me, still?
Q. I don't understand why someone would sporadically contact someone ? A while back I got close to a male friend but he hadn't finished things properly with who he was with It fractured the friendship and we didn't talk for nearly a year but th...
A. 12 October 2015: Sounds like he is putting the feelers out. Sorry if this comes off as offensive, thats not my intention by any means, but maybe he hasn't had any lady luck else where so he is simply trying his luck in what was once a go zone. Seriously if the txt ... (read in full...)
Ghost of Bf's sexual past invading current relationship
Q. So I've been with the boyfriend just under a year. Recently found out that one of his friends (a girl) who he has known since he was a teenager (he's approaching 40) he slept with two years ago (after his his birthday party). Very drunk affair- he ...
A. 10 October 2015: I don't know what I would be more annoyed with the fact that he has made it clear that he intends to 'Go out of his way to see her' or the fact that he is openly and accepting of his own hypocritical omission that if the shoe was on the other foot, ... (read in full...)
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