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... Send *vyblue a private message | | | *vyblue's profile:What qualifies me to help people…? Well to be honest I don't really know. I consider myself to be a life long learner therefore far from knowing everything. I believe the "outsider looking in" kind of advice can sometimes be the best because it can be the most eye opening and honest response that you will find.
Where do I live…? I sometimes wish I lived in the land of LaLa but for the time being I live in the Land Down Under.
My family makes me tick. They are my motivation for most things that I do choose to do.
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Everytime I turn around she needs money.
Q. I am currently in a LDR and it has become frustrating how financially dependent she has become. We were in this situation when we lived in the same town, however, I was living at home and didn't pay any bills while working. Now I am living on my own ...
A. 17 November 2016: "Sorry babe, i just dont have it"- no more explanation needed... (read in full...)
What does it mean when someone describes a man as "sharp"?
Q. Dear Aunts, OK, so I hear this word get thrown around a lot to describe men. 1. One time my coworker said to be aware of my manager because he was sharp. He used to eye me a lot. Whaa? 2. A male friend told me that my crush was sharpe...
A. 14 November 2016: The manager: they are well aware of whats going on with things, in tune with situation
The crush: super good looking/dresser
... (read in full...)
What does it mean if your bf stays up all night trying to convince you he isn't cheating?
Q. What does it mean when your boyfriend stays up with you all night after you accuse him of cheating on you, trying to convince you he ISN'T? Does it mean he really isn't cheating? Or does it mean he is doing his best to throw you off track because ...
A. 12 November 2016: A little more information would be helpful.what make you think he is cheating?... (read in full...)
Do I wait it out or make a move? I don't want to be rejected
Q. wait it out or just make a move I do like him...well .... he looks to be about 36, im 32 female but I look young.....anyway he stares at me and smiles with all 32 teeth showin, (he is fluffy, im normally not into teddy bear type men, b...
A. 12 November 2016: nothing ventured,nothing gained. Something simple shouldn't set you up to harshly if he declines. Maybe just a "hey, want to grab a coffee some time"... (read in full...)
Would you leave your spouse if you thought they were cheating, or would you wait for evidence or proof?
Q. Would you leave your husband if you thought he was cheating on you? Is that enough? Or would you need to obtain evidence/proof before leaving him? ...
A. 10 November 2016: Proof. Definitely proof. Id be pretty pissed if my partner left me on a hunch... (read in full...)
How can I ever trust my husband?
Q. Hello about 2 weeks ago I wrote about my husband going away for training and me not being able to trust him. For reasons like him texting a escort. But when he came home I felt I should let go and maybe try to trust him. But then 2 days later I ...
A. 8 November 2016: You are more than enough just in the wrong way. You give him whatever he wants and you sit idle letting him cheat on you. He simply can not be trusted as proven time and time again. What do you think will happen if you decide to tell him this time- ... (read in full...)
I love my stepdaughter is that normal?
Q. Is it common for stepfathers to fall in love with their stepdaughters. Should i tell her she is a grown woman, and im not with her mother anymore.Iam going absolutely insane. I love her so much.what do i do? Am i a pervert for even thinking that....
A. 8 November 2016: Oh crikey I think it depends. I wouldn't say its wrong but it would be a very cringey and uncomfortable right. Did you raise her as part of a long term relationship and how involved were you in that fatherly role because I think that would play a ... (read in full...)
I know she loves me but she will not be in a relationship with me
Q. She has bI am in love with my best friend and i have told her. She said no to being in a relationship. I told her i cant be friends with someone i am attracted to and that we should stop seeing each but she refuses to go out of my life I know s...
A. 8 November 2016: Sorry but this is not my idea of a best friend. Carrying on like this when she is more than aware of how you feel is self absorbed bullshit. It's cruel and she knows you are vulnerable to her games. Are you sure you really want her or you just want ... (read in full...)
Not invited to boyfriends childrens events
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years the last year living together. He has been divorced for 16 years his children are now 19 and 18 . As of yet I am not included in any of there events graduations football games bday dinners.. He has a ...
A. 8 November 2016: The children you are told...? Why not ask them yourself. I'd be wanting to hear this from the horses mouth, who knows, they could be asking but he is saying your not interested. If not, I think this is mean of them and him to expect that this is ... (read in full...)
Sick and tired of being the only responsible one
Q. I am tired of being the only one responsible in our household. I have been with my significant other for almost 8 years. In this time, he's had 4 or 5 jobs, was unemployed for 99 weeks where he collected a check, and didn't have a job a couple other ...
A. 8 November 2016: A very difficult financial rut. Not sure how things work in the USA but are there options to consolidate all your debt? It may be the way to go if you can pay out some of your existing debts under a better deal. Maybe using some equity in your home, ... (read in full...)
Should I accept that my ex is going off for 3 days with her ex and their daughter or say something about it?
Q. have been dating and being in a serious relationship with a woman since 2010 and she has just told me that during the Christmas she will be going on holiday to a cabine for 3 daysa with her ex husband and their 15 years daughter who lives with her ...
A. 6 November 2016: No way, thats not on. I'd be totally pissed. Separated for nearly seven years, I think their child would be able to cope without her being there. This is really dismissive of you being her long term partner.... (read in full...)
What do ladies think of men who shave everywhere because they are hairy?
Q. What do girls feel about guys who shave their whole body neck to toe because they are overly hairy everywhere otherwise?...
A. 6 November 2016: I think they feel the same pressure as we women to look a certain way. ... (read in full...)
Sick and tired of being the only responsible one
Q. I am tired of being the only one responsible in our household. I have been with my significant other for almost 8 years. In this time, he's had 4 or 5 jobs, was unemployed for 99 weeks where he collected a check, and didn't have a job a couple other ...
A. 6 November 2016: Nope, you are right,you don't need advice what you need is a big ol'
-YOU GO GIRL. ... (read in full...)
How can I tell my wife that her sister has started to appear in my fantasies?
Q. My wife and I are generally very open with eachother about our fantasies. They usually just come out during intimacy. Lately, however, I've been having a fantasy that I want to be a bit more subtle when I tell her about it. My new fantasies have ...
A. 5 November 2016: Why on earth...this serves no purpose. Some things need to be unsaid- this will bring on some bad juju.... (read in full...)
My landlady still hasn't given me a lease to sign but is charging me extra rent for each time my boyfriend stays over. How do I handle this?
Q. Hey guys. Never been in this situation before and could really use a second opinion or two. I moved into a houseshare with a live-in landlady at the beginning of last month. I started off renting a single room, for which my landlady had sti...
A. 5 November 2016: Hmmm...I kinda think she is a bit cheeky asking extra money if you are already paying extra for the double room but the thing is it is her house so she is free to charge that way just as you are free not to stay and find somewhere else. I would ... (read in full...)
Have a child with my unhelpful ex, my parents are supporting me and I'm pregnant again by the same guy! How do I tell my parents?
Q. When I was 17 I got pregnant and had my son, shortly after he was born my bf and I broke up. He isn't s bad guy we were both just young. My parents blamed him for me pregnancy because he was older they put more blame on him (he was 29 when I got ...
A. 4 November 2016: Whats done is done. No point going there with should of ,could of ,would of. You cant make someone be a good parent so wasting too much time trying to get him on board seems moot. Of course they will be disappointed, and rightly so. Im a parent and ... (read in full...)
I was asked out on a date by an older man? Should I go?
Q. Hello all, hope you’re having a good day? :) I haven’t posted on here for a very long time, so apologies if I forget some rules. I was at the bus stop the other day waiting for my usual bus to get home in the early evening. A gentleman was th...
A. 4 November 2016: Well I guess its 50/50. He could be some psychotic creep or he could just be a bit Hugh Grant in Notting Hill. If you decide to call him up. Just make it somewhere casual and open, let people know where you are going, check in with a friend every ... (read in full...)
Is this FWB thing wrong or should my friends not judge?
Q. Hello everyone I'm having a sort of fling with a guy I work with who is 20 years older then me but I feel dirty and a little bit ashamed after my friends started saying he was a pervert and that it was wrong. I'm 25, he is 46. He's divorced an...
A. 4 November 2016: Office gossip would be the thing to worry about and possible job ramification. Other than that, what you do as consulting adults is between you and him and don't need permission or approval from anyone. It seems you both have a handle on the ... (read in full...)
Is this normal? Should I avoid any contact sexually with men if I'm not gay or bi?
Q. I'm a heterosexual male and is not sexualy attracted to men. However I do get turned on when I see a male erection. I fantasise on occasions about performing felatio and mutual masturbation with guys. I have also participated in mutual masturbation ...
A. 4 November 2016: Sorry but your in denial about being bi sexual. It is what it is, no shame in that. Embrace who you are, what you enjoy and be happy. Try not over think what comes natural too you otherwise you'll drive yourself bonkers.... (read in full...)
High heels during sex...yay or nay?
Q. This question is for you women out there. I really want to know if high heels are a sexual turn on for you girls or not? I love them and I want my wife to wear them every time during sex. But she doesn't!! It's the single most sexual turn on for me. ...
A. 1 November 2016: Depends. For a bit of sexy visual fun every now and then, ok but not each and every time. That would drive me crazy. Crazy bad, not crazy good... (read in full...)
Husband took advantage of my drunken state
Q. I'm not really sure what to do. Two nights ago, my husband and I went to a party. I drank, he did not. I drank a little too much and was barely functioning. We came home and had sex. He went soft so I rolled over and passed out. Next thing I know, ...
A. 1 November 2016: Oh hell yeah. Not on, hubby or not. Visually that actually makes me feel sick to my stomach. He is your husband and not some actor in a cheesy frat house movie. ... (read in full...)
Can't decide over career or homemaker
Q. So my boyfriend, successful with his own business thinks being a career oriented woman with goals is good, (adulting) and I think being a stay at home dog mom is good, where is the happy middle? :/ we are so different in this respect but we love ...
A. 1 November 2016: I think it unwise to give up financial independence in relationships. Especially in your case as you don't yet have a family. Even then a part time job gives you so much more than money. There is nothing wrong with wanting to choose the path of ... (read in full...)
How to safely store nudes on a computer and iPhone?
Q. Hey there! Thank you in advance: How to safely store nudes? My boyfriend and I are long distance and have been together for a year and a half. We meet fairly regularly and very rarely send underwear pictures because we're both insecure/self...
A. 31 October 2016: Hmmm...hackers spring to mind so why not just keep you face out of them... (read in full...)
How to safely store nudes on a computer and iPhone?
Q. Hey there! Thank you in advance: How to safely store nudes? My boyfriend and I are long distance and have been together for a year and a half. We meet fairly regularly and very rarely send underwear pictures because we're both insecure/self...
A. 31 October 2016: Hmmm...hackers spring to mind so why not just keep you face out of them... (read in full...)
First time sex wasn't good for my g/f and I want to help next time be better
Q. My gf and I attempted sex for the first time… and it was a little rockier a process than we had initially anticipated! When i tried to go in, it wouldn’t go in past the tip. In addition my gf was not getting to feel it that much. I felt really ...
A. 30 October 2016: My advice, go to a book store together, have a look in the wellbeing/relationship section and buy something of interest together. This way it makes it about you and her and not just her.... (read in full...)
How should I deal with my wife's kinky up and down thoughts? ?
Q. Hello everyone, Thanks for taking the time to read this and offer advice if able. My question is how do I deal with my wife's constant changing thoughts on sex and her naughty behavior. For some backstory, we're both mid 30's, been mar...
A. 27 October 2016: In no way this to offend but what sprang to mind while reading your post was a documentary I watched about the porn industry. In a nut shell, in order to get through and mentally deal with what is required these people need drugs/alcohol to take ... (read in full...)
Should I now offer to pay more rent when my mother come to live with us, temporarily? My mother and I will share a room
Q. Hi! I'm currently living with two friends, but my mother is going to move in with us from another country, so we are all going to live together for a few months until my mother and I move to a place for just the two of us. Meanwhile me and my mo...
A. 27 October 2016: I would offer, yes. Because the two friends are being accommodating to meet your needs by agreeing to let her stay so I guess to show thanks and a bit of gratitude a bit of financial freedom for them would be welcomed. I understand you guys are ... (read in full...)
I don't think his behaviour is ok. He told me to 'get over it'. What should I do?
Q. A few weeks ago after a night out I ended up "making out" with a co worker that I'd liked for ages. He basically said that he'd had feelings for me for a while too and hadn't really felt that way before. We texted for a while afterwards until...
A. 27 October 2016: True, be the adult, treat him and "it" like it never happened and keep things strictly professional. If he brings it up rhetorically ask " not sure (insert name) why you'd be bothered to bring that up? if you were of any interest to me you would ... (read in full...)
My sister is aggressive and opinionated. Would it be OK if I skipped Christmas this year and stayed home to avoid my sister?
Q. I'm having a dilemma over Christmas Day and I could do with some advice. I have a small family consisting of my sister, mother and grandmother. i didn't get on particularly well with my sister- we only see each other three times a year at family o...
A. 27 October 2016: Have to agree, if she is the host then the invite comes from her. If and when it does a simple thank you but Ive made other plans is all thats needed. When your damed if you do and damed if you don't then why not go with what makes it bearable for ... (read in full...)
Do I keep things to myself?
Q. First off thanks to anyone who takes the time to answer this for me!and sorry for the lengh. Some background: I have been with my boyfriend 7 years my best friend (female) started dating his best friend (male) 2 years later. I'm close with both ...
A. 26 October 2016: other than making a point to him that he needs to do the right thing and sort it out, I wouldn't be getting involved. He has put you in an awkward situation which is not fair to you but this really is something for him to take care of. Behind closed ... (read in full...)
I cheated, ended things but not sure what to do now
Q. Im married, with two kids. I did the dumbest thing in my life. I cheated on my wife after 7 years together. I was stupid, feel like scum and have this knot in my stomach that will not go away. To make things worse, I started with a condom and som...
A. 26 October 2016: "Let the doctor tell her that you have some urinary tract infection so you have to abstain from sleeping with her till you are cured. "
I don't think doctors go the professional mile to lie. What is morally right about wanting to involve others. ... (read in full...)
Husband going to be alone for a week at training. He told me I couldn't go but I don't trust him. What can I do?
Q. Hello Everyone, I have wrote here before and expressed that I have trust issues with my husband. He has done things in the past to earn my distrust. Anyway he is going out of town for a week for training for work. He at first told me that I could ...
A. 26 October 2016: You have good reason not to trust him, that should be no secret to him given txting escorts the last time. Personally, Id be telling him just that and to to be mindful of just who might be watching this time. ... (read in full...)
BF got caught basically cheating, he hasn't reached out?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together two years. We have had trust issues because he got a girls number on a trip, and texted her flirting throughout and I found out about it. He said he made a dumb mistake and blah blah blah if I found out about ...
A. 26 October 2016: He's scared of being ripped a new one. Simply dodging being confronted about his actions. What a coward and an untrustworthy one to boot. Have to agree with the aunts and uncles...be grateful he's not in reaching out. You dont need his grovelling to ... (read in full...)
I cheated, ended things but not sure what to do now
Q. Im married, with two kids. I did the dumbest thing in my life. I cheated on my wife after 7 years together. I was stupid, feel like scum and have this knot in my stomach that will not go away. To make things worse, I started with a condom and som...
A. 25 October 2016: Sorry, no sympathy from me, Ive been your wife and you sir are a weasel. Man the fuck up and find what ever decency you have left and tell your wife. You don't get to make decisions for her-she does. Bit of a laugh thinking not to tell her is for ... (read in full...)
Do I ask how my former student is doing? I don't want to overstep any boundaries!
Q. Thank you in advance for all that take the time to give their advice. Not a relationship question however I really would like some opinions. Last year I worked briefly with a student during their last year at school. That same student lived directly ...
A. 23 October 2016: Thank you all for your words of wisdom. Sorry for the passing of your sister Wiseowl, a very difficult and sad time and I thank you for sharing your insight from what you have experienced. I have yet to find a good time to go over. Each time I ... (read in full...)
If I get back together with my ex, should I tell him about the people I have slept with while we were broken up?
Q. Hi there! So I was in a 4 and a half year relationship with an amazing guy. We broke up due to living in different places, arguing when we saw each other, and as I was in my final year at University, had way too much going on for all the arguing....
A. 23 October 2016: If he wrongly 'assumes'? Not sure why his assumption should warrant trouble for her later on. He has a voice and if he has questions then he is free to use it. She is not obliged to give him any answer other than " You have nothing to worry about" ... (read in full...)
If I get back together with my ex, should I tell him about the people I have slept with while we were broken up?
Q. Hi there! So I was in a 4 and a half year relationship with an amazing guy. We broke up due to living in different places, arguing when we saw each other, and as I was in my final year at University, had way too much going on for all the arguing....
A. 20 October 2016: Nope. serves no purpose other than causing problems. What each of you do while not in a committed relationship is no ones business but your own. He has no right to ask anyway. if it does come up and he makes a big deal of it my advice is to swiftly ... (read in full...)
Why would my wife threaten to leave me over my porn use?
Q. My wife says she will leave me if I keep watching porn. What is wrong with her? I have no idea why she thinks watching porn is bad. This is something I like to do and do it privately. I never told her I was into porn and many of you can guess wh...
A. 20 October 2016: Sorry mate, but for a lot of women porn can ultimately be a third woman in the relationship. One she feels she has to live up to, compete with, share her time, move over or sit back while he partner devotes his time getting off with her. Hardly ... (read in full...)
My partner doesn't contribute financially towards the household. How much longer should I wait for things to change?
Q. Hi my partner of three years lives with me and is always struggling financially due to being a contract worker with intermittent income who also has to pay maintenence for his child with ex wife. Often he contributes little or nothing as he first ...
A. 19 October 2016: How long do you wait? You don't, I think you have waited long enough already. If you were not supporting him, who would? He would. If he didn't live with you he would have no choice but to figure things out and make his way so personally I think ... (read in full...)
He blanked me for weeks then blows up because I was with some one else?
Q. I was texting / meeting a guy (let's call him Fred, this isn't his name) and was seeing each other for about 9weeks.. Then for some reason he stopped talking to me. He said he had family issues and personal problems and can't give me what I want, he ...
A. 19 October 2016: Sorry love but this Fred is a bloody weirdo. How on earth he feels justified for such a rant is beyond comprehension. Sounds like an I don't want you but I don't want anyone else to have you either kind of scenario. You don't owe him ANYTHING but ... (read in full...)
I'm bi-curious and want to experiment with my friend
Q. straight, with some bi-curious. I want to experiment with my best friend, but I don't know how to approach it, like how he will handle it. I think he is curious as well, but I don't know. I don't want to ask him, and have him say no, but I want to ...
A. 18 October 2016: My advice is don't go there. Where do you go from there if it all goes pear shaped? Personally Id be looking elsewhere. There is a huge LBGQT community out there to find someone willing and able. ... (read in full...)
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