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My boyfriend's ex is sending me screenshots about him cheating! Help!

Tagged as: Cheating, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 October 2015) 8 Answers - (Newest, 19 October 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I've been with my boyfriend for nearly three years now. He has a kid with another girl. I love him so much and thought he was the one until tonight whenI got a bunch of screenshots of texts from his kid's mom about them hooking up. Apparently they have been doing this behind my back since we began dating. My heart is broken. I can't sleep, I can't stop crying, I'm in shock.

He refuses to say its true and insists that she's lying and creating fake screenshots.She does have a past of being crazing and having mental disorders but I dont know how she would fake what she's sending me He wants to meet with me tomorrow to explain whats happening but I don't know if I can take seeing him.

I don't know what to do. I'm so sad and confused. I dont know if I can take seeing him at all or if I should give him the chance to explain himself.

please help

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2015):

its not really that hard to create fake screen shots so you should give him the benefit of the doubt here.If she has his kids they would need to communicate anyway but the purpose of the screen shots is to create trouble and break you up so the kids have daddy home for xmas.

Maybe you should just ignore her efforts..

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia +, writes (19 October 2015):

Ivyblue agony aunt "He wants to meet with me tomorrow to explain whats happening" exactly... whats happening!

I'd go hear him out, then put it on the table that you want to sit down face to face with her, him and yourself. If he has nothing to hide hen he has nothing to worry about and thats exactly how I'd be saying it too.

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A female reader, Eyespy17 United States +, writes (19 October 2015):

Any chance she's sending you screen grabs from texts when they were actually together ? Or do they have the current date on them?

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A female reader, Slippers  United Kingdom +, writes (19 October 2015):

I read the aunts and uncles replies and only reiterate what they have said .. It would be very difficult to pull of load of screen shot messages .. If this is rubbish why isn't he of to the police.. I mean she is harassing making up stories .. I thought honey pies ending was so true .. no man even no woman is worth the anguish you are feeling .. dry your pretty eyes sweetie .. It will get better .. just have confidence in your inner voice .

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2015):

Sweetie, all guys in bad breakups write-off their exes as crazy and delusional. She has warned you, now take it for what it's worth. You've seen it with your own eyes.

Don't be melodramatic. She will relish the thought she has turned you out. Be cool, resolved, and to the point. Fake it, girlfriend. She doesn't have to know she freaked you out.

So now you now know the truth; so what's it going to be?

Drama, or will you kick him to the curb?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (18 October 2015):

Honeypie agony auntIt's SO easy for a guy to dismiss an ex and her "antics" as "OH she is so crazy, she is faking those messages". Because YOU don't really know her or the relationship they have/had.

If I had a dollar bill for EVERY-TIME a guy is making excuses that his ex-gf is nuts and that is what's causing the drama in his life, I'd be a very wealthy lady.

So WHY haven't you called her back? Talked to her? I mean you obviously have her number since she is texting you.

And secondly, let's for a moment PRESUME she IS nuts. Why would she wait 3 years to fabricate these messages? And do you really want to date a guy who will ALWAYS have this nutter in his life, because he made a child with her?

Personally, I'd met up with him and I'd record the conversation and let HER hear it. I know it's not "legal" to record a conversation, but.. since she felt YOU should know he was cheating... shouldn't she know what he is saying about her?

Either way, he doesn't sound like a keeper to me. I honestly, don't think (nutty or not) that she would wait 3 whole years before trying to wreck your relationship. But I don't thin she is "sharing" these messages with you out of the "goodness" of her heart. As she obviously had no problem cheating WITH him while he was with you. If she wants him THAT badly, I'd let her "have" him, he is no big prize.

If you can't handle meeting up and talking to him, then CUT him off 100%. That means you block and delete his number and HER number - you remove him from your Facebook/*whatever *apps, you pack up ALL the "stuff" he might have at your place and ask a mutual friend to pass it on to him. IF he shows up at your home, you ignore the doorbell and don't talk to him. IF he tries to contact you at work you give him fair warning that you will consider it harassment. And then... YOU focus on letting him go and moving on.

DRY your eyes, honey. No man is worth all this anguish.

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A female reader, NORA B Ireland +, writes (18 October 2015):

Yes it must have been just greadful painful for you receiving those screenshots and your finding it diffult to sort things out in your head.But hold on -you love him and you have been together for 3 years-that must count for something.So why not give him the credit of the doubt and listen to what he has to say.It would be a mistake NOT to meet him .Its always wise to make sure of a situation rather then believing his ex-girlfriend.It cant do any harm in meeting him and listen to what he has to say.Then you can make a informed decision about your future.Kind wishes NORA B.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2015):

Ask her to show you the texts in person so youcan verify that it is indeed your boyfriend's number.

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