A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidI have been around 5 yrs with my ex and I broke up with me since he was v manipulative, selfish and took a lot of money from me. Long story short, I'm kind of moving on and my friend suggested online dating site. I have a date on weekend, in profile he looked cute and is nice to talk to, since it's been so long I dated and I'm new to online dating, any tips will help. Please help
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broke up, money, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (13 October 2015):
 My advice would be to avoid it like a cold. You don't know who is on the other end of the online.
A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (12 October 2015):
 On line dating tips 101:
My advice would be first and foremost use common sense. Don't be too forthcoming with your personal details and circumstances. Try not to wear your heart on your sleeve which is burley for 'catfishes' Aka romantic scam artist. If you have kids don't be revealing much more than you have them and if questions about kids arise more than the usual- red flag it. If there is any reluctance to meet in person or continuos cancellations see it as a red flag. Always ask for a recent picture and provide the same. A fatter, greyer, wrinklier version of one taken years ago to me is deceptive. Be very aware that just because someone is talking/meeting you that you are and will be the only one. Check out their FB page just incase that dude with the 'horrible wife that he's just waiting to divorce' doesn't have pictures of last nights happy wedding anniversary celebration pic's. If you do decide to meet up, make sure you tell someone who,where and when you are going even the details of the site and user name. Maybe even right down the car registration if you can- better still ask for it. If they don't like it too bad.Don't ever negotiate your safety. Online dating can be fun, just have to be sensible and have realistic expectations.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2015): Never commit to an actual elaborate or official "date" when dating online; it's the biggest mistake you can make. Rather, keep it informal and simple in case you need an exit strategy if there's no chemistry. Don't make the mistake of going for dinners or drinks, because you might find yourself stuck in a situation you don't want to be in for an hour or more!
Profile pictures and enticing phone conversations don't mean a thing when the actual person falls short of your expectations. trust me. I've dabbled with online dating. 80% of it is a waste of time and 20% might be worth your while....maybe.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (12 October 2015):
Some rules I would stick to with online/non online dating:
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1. I would not wait around for months before meeting in person. If you are both interested set up a meeting - can be a short coffee/lunch date and go from there.
2. Take things slow. Get to know the person IN person, not just through texting/messagin. That means a LOT of "dates" or outings.
3. It's OK to decide after date #1 or #5 that he is NOT your type, but I'd be nice enough to let him know asap instead of hinting or all of a sudden be unavailable.
4. Be ready to go 50/50 (or Dutch - pay for yourself).
5. Don't do "home dates" till you REALLY know the guy and/or are exclusive.
6. No sex till you are exclusive.
7. Don't hold the guy you are seeing responsible for past exes behavior.
8. Know what you WILL and WILL NOT accept as far as behavior.
9. Don't talk excessively about exes. IF he does it.. I'd move on because clearly he is still stuck on her.
10. Look at what you SHARE in common instead of what you don't.
11. Use common sense.
12. Let a friend know you are on a date and when/where - and call them when it's over. Safety is always smart.
13. Don't settle for something CASUAL if you are looking for a relationship. Things RARELY progress from casual to serious.
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