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Do I have reasons to be frustrated with my boyfriend?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 October 2015) 7 Answers - (Newest, 21 October 2015)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Im currently frustrated with my boyfriend. Can you please let me know if I have reason to be frustrated or I'm just totally pms-ing?

My boyfriend's friend got into an accident and needed to bring his car to get fixed at the autobody shop. My boyfriend had to accompany him to drop off the car and get a rental, which is cool. Then after that, his friend was all hands off, expecting my boyfriend to keep going over to the autobody shop to check on the car and give him updates. Then whenit took longer than the allowed time to get the car fixed, my boyfriend had to go to the car rental company to tell them and put down more money to extend the rental car. Then when the car was finally done, my boyfriend had to pick up the car, drive it to where his friend was (about 20-30mins away) and swap it out with the rental car, and help him return the rental car. I just wish he woukd not 'Baby' his friend so much.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (21 October 2015):

Honeypie agony auntYou BF is a good friend and maybe.... a bit of a push-over when it comes to this friend, HOWEVER that is HIS choice (your bf's) - if he is WILLING to DO all this for a friend, then that is on him. Now if he whines to you about it, I'd just tell him that he HAS the option to tell his friend no, bro you can do this yourself.

My guess is he is a little overprotective of this friend due to the accident. And I think that is kind of sweet.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (21 October 2015):

So_Very_Confused agony auntyour boyfriend is making the choice to do these things for his friend.

you do not have to like it but unless it's impacting on you (a broken date or something he was supposed to do for you that didn't get done) then it's not your issue or concern.

Does your bf do the same things for you or is this a case of he mistreats you to do for this guy? IF so consider that he makes the choice to put his friends first and his gf second and act accordingly.

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia +, writes (21 October 2015):

Ivyblue agony auntHe didn't have to do anything, he chose to. I do think he was taken advantage of though, which is an annoying thing to see happen when they can't. Being assertive is not something everyone is equipped with unfortunately. You could let him know that you understand that *insert name* is a mate but you didn't feel he was being fair to be having him run around all over the place when he could of just as easily picked up phone to make arrangements himself and you don't like seeing his good nature being taken advantage of. I thats just being a good gf not a crazy one.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2015):

ok, now you do have reason to be frustrated with him.

With more information it now is clear your boyfriend is being taken advantage of!

However, it is HIS choice.

You can merely point it out and only when he is ready to face facts will he accept it himself.

If you share an account you have a say on the money, if not, it's also his choice what he chooses to spend his money on.

Frustrating yes, but it's his life, friend and choice...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2015):

I'm the OP here. No, his friend was not injured at all. Just the bumper of his car got dented and needed fixing. His friend actually has today off from work but is too busy outbwith his girlfriend and doing his own thing. He just called my boyfriend a few minutes ago telling him to go help take care of his insurance to make sure the insurance is covering for the car rental and there is no out of pocket cost for him. Now my boyfriend is running around calling his insurance and going to the car rental place to take care of all this for him. I feel that is totally taking advantage, and I made a comment to my boyfriend about it. He doesn't want to hear it of course.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (20 October 2015):

janniepeg agony auntIf it's his money then yes he's babying him too much. Otherwise I think helping is what friends are for when they are in need. Depends on how injured he is. If you have reasons to believe his friend is trying to occupy too much of his time then your gut may be right. Especially if he's single. Single guys don't like it when their best mates have girlfriends. People don't get into accidents all the time so let's treat this as a one off thing. Unless it becomes a pattern and he keeps on asking for your boyfriend's help even if he's healthy and able.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2015):

Sounds like your boyfriend was helping out a friend in need.

After an accident that friend was able to rely on your boyfriend, that's a good thing!

Be proud you have a kind boyfriend and be appreciative-he will enjoy the support and it will bode well for you both.

He is allowed to still be there for friends even in a relationship.

Peace!

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