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... Send *vyblue a private message | | | *vyblue's profile:What qualifies me to help people…? Well to be honest I don't really know. I consider myself to be a life long learner therefore far from knowing everything. I believe the "outsider looking in" kind of advice can sometimes be the best because it can be the most eye opening and honest response that you will find.
Where do I live…? I sometimes wish I lived in the land of LaLa but for the time being I live in the Land Down Under.
My family makes me tick. They are my motivation for most things that I do choose to do.
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What are the main reasons that would motivate a woman to want to break up with a guy?
Q. I would like the opinion of the lady's an men who write in all the time, my question is what's the main reasons for women to dump the guys? Is it they found some one new, he cheated , he treats her bad, got bored of him, he was to nice, came on ...
A. 30 April 2016: No flack from me, I agree having someone waiting in the winds is good for some but for different reasons. Maybe it makes them feel less vulnerable or the thrill and excitement of someone new makes it easier to make the move. As for the other ... (read in full...)
Wearing jewelry from an ex whilst out on a date with a new partner... thoughts?
Q. I want to know what everybody's thoughts are on wearing jewellery from an ex partner whilst out on a date with a new partner. Thank you!...
A. 30 April 2016: No huge deal but if I was wanting to avoid potential upset down the road I would choose something else. It is only a piece of decorative metal after all. ... (read in full...)
How should I handle this? Is he being thoughtless? Selfish? Or ?
Q. My boyfriend was supposed to be going to a gig with me. The band cancelled the tour due to illness. Instead promised we would go on a weekend getaway and hinted at engagement. We have been together 2 years and have two kids together and liv...
A. 29 April 2016: Hey, thats not cool of him. If it were me I'd pull him up. not have a rip roaring fight, but let him know exactly how disappointed you are and for what reasons. If he cant offer you a fair and reason as to why he is no longer interested in going on ... (read in full...)
How can I get out of this abusive relationship? He has everyone fooled into thinking he is a good guy
Q. My boyfriend has been getting messages from girls he has been with and never tells me about it. Unless I look at his stuff I don't ever know. And only one of the girls has asked him if he was with anyone which he said yes he was. But the others...
A. 29 April 2016: Can you ask your family for a small amount of money to get a bus/train/plane ticket or even enough petrol etc to get out of there. If organising it is something of a problem for you ask them to do that too. You just collect and go. Don't worry about ... (read in full...)
We are back together, but he is still talking with the girl he dated when we were split up!
Q. I've been dating my ex boyfriend again for the last 4 months. We were broken up for about 6 months and he was dating someone else for 4 months out of the 6 months we were broken up. He says they were not that serious but they did like each other. ...
A. 28 April 2016: Break up with him. He's not serious, if he was he'd understand it from your perspective. If she were decent ,she would too if he told her and out of respect for his relationship with you wish him well and step out of the picture. He is being cruel. ... (read in full...)
When is it the right time to leave?
Q. Okay. To answer my question I strongly believe you will need my whole backstory. So lets just jump into it. We met at 16, it was bliss, romance, and teenage rebelion at its finest. She was perfect and at this moment i knew I was in love. ...
A. 28 April 2016: Sorry mate, what a shitty experience. Divorce seems like the right decision. Easy for me to say sitting here behind a computer but NOW is the time, before you go. That way the wheels are in motion, you have a better idea of whats ahead, freeing up ... (read in full...)
Please help me, it turns out that my boyfriend has a brother, the same man I slept with a few years ago!
Q. I know a boy for about seven years, and we started dating a few months ago, and last Saturday he decided to introduce me to his family. It turns out that he has a brother, who was never mentioned, and is the same man that I slept a few years ago. I ...
A. 27 April 2016: Neither you or his brother have done anything wrong nor is there reason to feel guilty. BUT if you choose to keep it a secret, that will probably have a more detrimental affect than being upfront in the first place. It wont be the fact that you guys ... (read in full...)
My social anxiety has resulted in me having just one friend! Please read the rest of my post and give me some advice!
Q. so I have pretty bad social anxiety to the point where I only had one friend and as much as I tried to make other friends (and I continue to try) it justs exhausts me and people just ignore me. anyway so I've known my friend has liked me pretty ...
A. 27 April 2016: Hi Op. Have you looked into attending a social anxiety support group? Cant think of a better way to make friends with people who 'get' exactly what it is that you are going through and understand, without prejudice, the difficulty of forming and ... (read in full...)
Why does he want this all of a sudden!
Q. Hi aunts. Just a quick question. I'm in a very loving sexual relationship with my fella who I'm planning on living with later in the year. Everything is great and when we aren't together we message loads which I love. Our messages are loving ...
A. 27 April 2016: Like everyone else, I suspect porn. As for acting "crazy" for it, well I think he has glossed over the fact that these women are paid to look like they are enjoying it, furthermore doped up on all sorts of pain killers to get them through certain ... (read in full...)
What in blazes in going on here? What's the Guy Code and is that what you see in this situation?
Q. Men, there is such a thing as a code of honor among friends when two or more like the same woman, right? The past two months have been strange and I'm confused. Three male friends of years and all the sudden they are all showing strong signs of ...
A. 27 April 2016: Not sure about codes - but I think thats for them to work out. you go out with whom ever it is you want. As for them, you snooze you loose.... (read in full...)
My Bf has secretly been having sex with this woman for more than 6 years. Should he remain friends with her and her partner? I say no.
Q. My boyfriend has been friends with this couple for 20 years. They moved states away a long time ago. They email, talk and text Facebook always. I found out recently that he has been having sex with her for like 6+ years and they have secret ...
A. 27 April 2016: WTF, Are you serious? Far better, is he serious? Sorry but your so called bf is nothing more than an audacious prick. Darn right sister the answer to your question is no. But to be honest, I don't think him or this situation is worth you hanging ... (read in full...)
Do I stop making our favorite food because it bothers our 80 year old neighbor?
Q. Hello We live in an apartment building and are a mid aged couple. I cook for my husband on daily basis, we are both Canadian. We really enjoy curry and maybe twice a month I will cook it. My neighbour who is in her 80s and frail health mention...
A. 26 April 2016: can you cook up a big batch over a family members house so all you have to do is freeze it,thaw it and heat it. That way, heating it may not cause such a release of of the spice fragrant as if you were cooking it from scratch.... (read in full...)
He’s been chatting with women online and now has booked a solo trip to a country where one lives! I need opinions on this!
Q. Hello everyone, Me and hubby have been together 7yrs and married for 3. We have a 4 yr old daughter..He has been talking to women who he has friended from social media. He doesn't know any of them. But to some he will start talking in a way...
A. 26 April 2016: If its entertainment he is looking for-get an XBOX man. I believe he is well out of order to expect you to understand and accept that his behaviour is ok. Fantasy is a thought, imagination- his chatting is an action. He will tell you whatever, that ... (read in full...)
How many women get pregnant because they hate their jobs?
Q. Im curious what people reckon is the proportion of women that have a baby because they don't want to work (or hate their job)?...
A. 23 April 2016: Too many if they intend to live off the government and as a tax payer I'm fed up with paying for them. ... (read in full...)
Ladies: Can you sleep with someone for 6 month and have no attachment?
Q. Question for the women. Can you sleep with the same person for nearly six months and have no attachment to them? Is it likely? I've been sleeping with the same girl for that span of time in a fwb situation. We spend the night weekly and talk ...
A. 23 April 2016: Oh, for sure- Love and sex can be kept separate. Uncomplicated sex is just as much a turn on as one that comes with emotion.... (read in full...)
What do you do for someone who made your life happy again ? my friend helped and supported me after abuse I suffered
Q. I had a horrible childhood, I was physically and sexually molested and raped by my step father for 7 years. When I was 20, I met a guy on an online adult site . He was 15 years older then me. I was still living at home and my step father cont...
A. 22 April 2016: Perhaps yes, there are angels. Sure makes me think about it when reading things like this. Personally, I don't think you can go wrong writing a heart felt hand written letter to express your gratitude. You could always pay his kindness forward to ... (read in full...)
How do I get back to an even keel with my longtime manager?
Q. Not a love question but I am fighting to understand my current problem and dearcupid has always been useful for this. Now this could be long so bear with me. I've been at my current job for 6 years. My manager has always been a bit of an enig...
A. 20 April 2016: "It all began when I started a relationship with another worker" I assume romantic and not a working relation? Could that be the cause of this by any chance, a bit of romantic jealousy? Or it could be that she feels a bit second fiddle that you have ... (read in full...)
Our manager has threatened to fire us if we don't close our Facebook group
Q. Okay, so where i work we all have a facebook ‘group chat’ in this group chat there is over 50 of us in this group so basically nearly everyone from work. We use this chat on facebook to organise nights out i work in a casino and the casino is a 24hr ...
A. 19 April 2016: Does he send messages via pigeon by any chance? How archaic in attitude is this dude. Threatening to sack the entire team over such a thing, in my opinion, grounds for lodging a group complaint of bullying. Provided no one is acting inappropriate I ... (read in full...)
How do I address this situation and this cheating?
Q. I got involved with my friends boyfriend A , we still dating even now behind her back.i always feel awful about it.I tried to break up with him but its not working we always find a way to get back to each other. Now A and my friend S have beautifu...
A. 19 April 2016: Sorry but no kind words from me. Have you ever heard of the saying "With friends like you who needs enemies?" Wrathykins got it in one..how would you feel if you were this woman. How would you feel about someone like you and what would you expect ... (read in full...)
Should I still visit my husband after he hung up on me from jail?
Q. Hi. This is a bit of a complex question, or maybe it just feels that way. But here it goes. I'm a 27F married with 3 young children. My husband was arrested and is currently in jail because he made a STUPID decision to help a friend and got wrap...
A. 17 April 2016: Hi Op. Tuff and stressful gig being in jail I would imagine. Whatever the reason he hung up I would imagine it was not just because of what you said. Just a frustrated build up of his situation now and the one that HE put himself and family in. He ... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend, so why is he eyeing other girls?
Q. I met a guy at the gym that i initially developed feelings for. However, after finding out that he had a girlfriend, I've settled my feelings for him, and we've become pretty good friends. I'm pretty popular at the gym, and know pretty much ...
A. 17 April 2016: I wouldn't bother why he does what he does, lucky for you he has shown his true colours as a flakey kinda dude. Ignore his silly comments and focus on continuing to be fit and fabulous.... (read in full...)
Any solutions possible? I have a difficult time trusting women because of a past ex
Q. This is a whole pretty complicated story, I'll try to explain it as quickly as I can. My mother has been putting a lot of pressure on me lately to start dating, especially since I've been out of college for a year. I want to be able to date,...
A. 17 April 2016: Hi op. from what you post I kinda get the feeling it was you that may have put far too much emphasis on the girl being much more than a friend that was a girl instead categorised her as a girl friend. Nothing of her behaviour you describe suggest ... (read in full...)
Why do men like to ejaculate on their partner's body?
Q. Why do guys enjoy cumming on their partners body? Wouldn't it feel better for them to just leave it inside? My boyfriend almost always pulls out when we have sex and I end up with his sperm on my stomach and boobs. I don't hate it or anything, I ...
A. 17 April 2016: I'm no man but I think they feel like it is sexual power over a woman. Or that they are some pornstar calibre... (read in full...)
Husband lied for four years about sleeping with my friend
Q. I have been with my husband for seven years this year, married for two. We have three children together. Two girls and a boy. 7, 4 and 9 months. I have a friend, we will call her Lee, and we started becoming friends about two years ago when she foun...
A. 17 April 2016: Hi OP. Me again. It would be a bit naive to accept the reason being they agreed not to tell was to protect your feelings. Your husband and you were on a break, remaining intimate, to try work things out-right? Yet he decides having sex with her is ... (read in full...)
Husband lied for four years about sleeping with my friend
Q. I have been with my husband for seven years this year, married for two. We have three children together. Two girls and a boy. 7, 4 and 9 months. I have a friend, we will call her Lee, and we started becoming friends about two years ago when she foun...
A. 16 April 2016: @chigirl 'Of course friends don't sleep with their friends exes or whatever' is a dim witted statement. Many have and will continue to do. Now I don't feel as bad for mis interpreting the friend zone timing. Regardless, Lee tried sleeping with him ... (read in full...)
Found out I'm pregnant at 41 after a first date
Q. Please do not judge me , Im single and stable ,i went on a date with a guy we had a great date and planned to see each other again but he canceled the 2nd date saying he has issues and not ready to date. I have now found out im pregnant ( the condom ...
A. 16 April 2016: Maybe he knew it broke and thats why he's dropped off the face of the Earth? Sounds a bit crazy, but who knows! Look ,thats a bum deal if you are wanting a family complete while white picket fence but if you are willing, wanting and able then ... (read in full...)
Threesome gone wrong and I feel so cheated! Help me please...
Q. I have an issue that I can't get over and I don't know what to do. I have been with my husband for approximately 10 years and he has always been my best friend. We have always joked about a threesome but were never really serious, although secretly ...
A. 16 April 2016: Sounds like a big let down and I can see why you feel the way you do. The 'invited' third person shouldn't be granted exclusivity above a spouse. Her being the subject of all his attention to the point of your exclusion, I would agree, a bit like ... (read in full...)
Husband lied for four years about sleeping with my friend
Q. I have been with my husband for seven years this year, married for two. We have three children together. Two girls and a boy. 7, 4 and 9 months. I have a friend, we will call her Lee, and we started becoming friends about two years ago when she foun...
A. 15 April 2016: Fuck Lee and the friendship. If it were me she'd be flat on her arse. ANY FRIEND WORTH THEIR WEIGHT would KNOW that sleeping with their friends husband is a no go zone- PERIOD! Using the excuse that you guys were separated at the time is nothing ... (read in full...)
Have you ever asked your partner to 'unfriend' an opposite sex friend?
Q. Would you or have you ever asked your significant other to unfriend someone of the opposite sex on Facebook? For whatever reason, you did not want them associating with this person; jealousy or insecurity issues included among the reasons. Has ...
A. 14 April 2016: Yes because the chit chat was flirty. Yes he did, well I think he did, bloody well better have anyway lol. No seriously, he was cool he understood because when asked if he would like it he said no. For us, we gave up FB all together. No biggy... (read in full...)
What do you think of a guy who is torn between two women?
Q. This guy and a girl date for a year. it's not an easy relationship. They fight a lot but somehow make it work. One day he cheats on her, she finds out and they break up for 9 months. She wants him back so they get back together. Right around t...
A. 14 April 2016: How would I describe him: Cheater
what do I think of him: Not much... (read in full...)
How could people be so rude about my wedding?
Q. Hi, I don't know if I can post on here but I really need to vent and feel so upset. I got married in October and my husband and I were on a really tight budget, even though we had been saving for 2 years, making sacrifices and working every ext...
A. 11 April 2016: A wedding is for two, not for who. Your wedding sounds charmingly simple. What on earth is a 'proper' wedding any way? Nasty pretentious cows... ... (read in full...)
He promised he'd pay, and we really do need the money
Q. My best friends fiance was organising a surprise party for her 30th and he asked if me and my husband would be happy to have it at our house as theirs was too small to fit approximately 30 people. He assured is he would buy everything-snack...
A. 10 April 2016: Txt him again his avoidance has left you no choice but to show his fiancee (your friend) the receipts and ask her for your money. What an arse!... (read in full...)
I'm not ready to be engaged but I don't want to hurt my boyfriend and turn down his proposal
Q. So my bf of almost 2 years recently proposed to me. It's not that I wasn't happy to know that he feels so strongly about me, it's just that there's a few things keeping me from saying yes. I've been 'engaged' once before when I was younger. I u...
A. 10 April 2016: If you are not ready...then you are not ready and that is PERFECTLY OK. To be honest i would have to question if I wanted to marry someone who would sulk and make me feel bad for saying that anyway. There is a big difference between saying NO NOT ... (read in full...)
Is he saying these things because he’s genuine? Or to get laid? How do I find out?
Q. Dear Cupid I met a guy in dating site, we are dating each other for couple of weeks and we went exclusive. He is not handsome, but I kind of like the way he carries himself and talks. So I like him, he is younger than me and he never dat...
A. 9 April 2016: Maybe,maybe not you cant really tell, all you can do is go with the flow. ... (read in full...)
Was I wrong for coming onto her?
Q. I apologize for the length of this in advance! So i had a rough day today. Got cursed out by some old guy on the road who nearly killed me and i almost went bat shit on him. I didn't know old people could be so foul. Later i went to the mall to b...
A. 8 April 2016: Doesn't sound like it to me. Defiantly a bit flirty so no reason for you not to try your luck. Thing is, she said that she wasn't married not that she didn't have a bf. if this was to be the case then I think that would explain her struggling to ... (read in full...)
Should I let him do things his way? Or am I right in feeling this way about his reluctance to introduce my daughter to his family??
Q. Hello, I apologize for the novel and thank you in advance to those who take the time to read and offer any advice! I am a 24 yr old female with a daughter and have been in a relationship with 27yr old male for a little over a year and a half ...
A. 8 April 2016: If I were in your shoes I would find it terribly offensive to have my child frowned upon to the point of exclusion. I mean really- she is an innocent child for pete sake. To be treated as such ,to me, is bullying. I think he is incredibly selfish to ... (read in full...)
Is it morally wrong, and selfish on my part to tell him how I feel, and tear him away from this woman?
Q. I dated a slightly older man for about a year and half until I left to finish my college education. We had decided to break what we had off since we weren't keen on the idea of a long distance relation ship and we had different goals to focus on...
A. 8 April 2016: Sorry but I think your ship has sailed. His actions have lead to his choices. It makes not difference if he loves her or not because this is a life and relationship that your concern cant really be warranted. What you can do is end the friendship ... (read in full...)
Do I expose his lies or just blank him ?
Q. Hi everyone 4 week ago me and my ex decided to give our relationship another go he spun me lines and i fell for them. My friend is on a dating site and saw him on there so told me im glad she did , im tempted to message him and tell him liars al...
A. 8 April 2016: Blank, block and avoid altogether. How annoying would it be for him to not know why. There girlfriend is your pound of flesh. ... (read in full...)
She never checked his social media or snooped around, now I want to expose him! What do you think of my plan?
Q. My best friend has been seeing someone for the past 3 years and was starting to fall for him. I did a bit of snooping on his social media and found that he's been with a girl for over a year now. My friend trusted this guy 100%, so she never ...
A. 8 April 2016: I agree. He should be exposed. Not for vengeance, thats just a bonus, but more because the ow deserves to know the truth so she can make choices just as your friend has had that opportunity. why not show him what you got and tell him to tell her ... (read in full...)
My dad is having an affair! Will it last?
Q. My dad is having an affair with the tennant that lives in our house that we rent. She is literally the scum of the earth (this is not an opinion). She is possibly on job-seekers allowance, claiming benefits, she's never owned her own house ever, all ...
A. 4 April 2016: My advice would be to leave him be to his own devices. He is an adult after all. It could be possible that you intervening in any way would have a detrimental effect on you rather then a positive one on him. If he is the narcissist you say he is ... (read in full...)
Any suggestions on how to deal with this angry and feeling-entitled stepdaughter?
Q. I have posted in 2013 about my husband having a child which he never knew off. She contacted my youngest daughter via fb and after having paternity tests done it was confirm it is his child. She is 34 this year. She was rude from the beginning, ...
A. 3 April 2016: Regardless of her being absent of a father she is behaving quite deplorable and in no way is that you or your children's fault. I can understand why your husband also feels the way he does. She is entitled to feel ripped off but again unless your ... (read in full...)
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