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... Send *vyblue a private message | | | *vyblue's profile:What qualifies me to help people…? Well to be honest I don't really know. I consider myself to be a life long learner therefore far from knowing everything. I believe the "outsider looking in" kind of advice can sometimes be the best because it can be the most eye opening and honest response that you will find.
Where do I live…? I sometimes wish I lived in the land of LaLa but for the time being I live in the Land Down Under.
My family makes me tick. They are my motivation for most things that I do choose to do.
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His new girlfirend 'hates' me
Q. What should I do if my old best friend who I had a massive crush on, now has a new girlfriend? Our 'breakup' was pretty messy and his girlfriend hates me as does all his friends and her friends. I try to be nice but that is me 'trying to be her ...
A. 8 July 2016: My ex did this, my ex said that ! Young or old the "EX" doesn't always paint a fair or accurate picture to the new gf or bf. Otherwise if it was all hunky dory wouldn't' they still me together?Bad mouthing an ex can make a new partner feel more ... (read in full...)
Should I write my cousin off?
Q. Thank you in advance to all who read and respond to my question. I have a male cousin who is a good enough guy I guess. Our association has been primarily through facebook for the last few years and I always send him a Christmas gift at Christmas.He ...
A. 6 July 2016: If the relationship is important to you perhaps email him again with a brief message that you are disappointed that he interpreted your email as an attack and in hindsight picked up the phone. Apologise if you must and let him know when you will be ... (read in full...)
Do I leave my new job after only one week, and how should I go about it?
Q. Hey guys :-) so I hope no one minds but I have a career question here, I've been stressed about it all week and as the DC community are so lovely I thought I would ask here. Anyway I'm 23 and have been working in a public sector office job for j...
A. 4 July 2016: Same company and not the first time you have done it, do it again and it's professional suicide IMHO. I week is not really enough time to see how things pan out. Personally I think it would be wise to stick it out. You dont really know how it will ... (read in full...)
What kind of man is he? And what kind of relationship can I expect with him?
Q. Hello I have been chatting with a man I met on a business website we have been chating for 20 days, from the first few days when he added me on Facebook he said that he liked me but he felt he was too old for me which is 20 year difference, but I ...
A. 4 July 2016: 20 days seems like a lengthy time not to have done so much as meet for coffee,especially if you live in the same town. have you dug around a bit to try see if there is more to his story, like he's married. Dunno just a thought. Either way go in with ... (read in full...)
My dad left our family for his mistress. Why is he being aggressive?
Q. He had an affair his tenant and now has left us for her and her family. Whenever he calls now he's really aggressive and angry for no reason at all, why? He hasn't contacted me or my brother for 13 weeks now. When he comes to our house he starts ...
A. 3 July 2016: Guilt would be my guess and perhaps a bit of regret. Mix these two together and you get anger and frustration and not necessarily meant for you or your brother. He knows just how he must look in the eyes of his sons and cant handle it so out comes ... (read in full...)
Should I meet up with my ex boyfriend ? He still has his girlfriend and I broke up with my boyfriend, but he doesn't know that
Q. Hey aunts! I need advice So I have an ex boyfriend who broke my heart. The relationship was amazing but due to him losing his job, he had to move right away. He said he didn't want to lose me and how he would always want to be with me but we...
A. 2 July 2016: If he is willing to take his gf along sure-catch up ,say Hi. But if he's not, then well, you have your answer.... (read in full...)
I need beach date ideas!
Q. so i have been on a couple dates with this guy and i suggested a beach date and he said ok so we are going to the beach but we havent decided more than that . What are some cute fun flirty things I could do with him on the beach? How can I make my ...
A. 2 July 2016: A beach date in July, In Australia?, boy that will be chilly. Maybe lunch/dinner in a beachside restaurant and a walk along the beach or you could hire bikes,go rollerblading. Bohemian outfits suit the beach I think ... (read in full...)
Should I say anything? If yes, then what can I say? I heard my Mom and her boyfriend having sex
Q. I heard my mom and her boyfriend having sex?!? I knew they had sex but I never heard it. It's happened twice already and I haven't told my mother but last night at 2am I got up because I'm sick with the flu and I heard them moaning and stuf...
A. 2 July 2016: Nothing love, thats life. Reverse role, I guess if your mum was to approach you with the same questioning you would find it a bit uncomfortable. Buy your self some ear plugs. ... (read in full...)
Am I being too demanding and demonstrating a "princess attitude" for expecting a Lil common courtesy?
Q. I am 36 years old not much experienced in dating. If a guy is supposed to pick you up at 2.00 to 3.00 and until 1 pm didn't tell you of any change of plans. When you message him at 2.15 informs you that he won't be able to make it. Is it commo...
A. 2 July 2016: No your correct IMO. It doesn't take much to extend a little courtesy. Perhaps communication was crossed and you were supposed to meet him, it happens but this aside, what you should be focused on I think is this relationship he has with his ex. ... (read in full...)
Should I pursue things further with him?
Q. I have been interested in guy who works the next building from mine.He's always friendly and was giving off subtle signs of interest. I finally gave him my number and told him to call/text sometime.He said sure.Then I ran into him the next day and ...
A. 30 June 2016: Oh dear god no. Thats just something you cant take back. I think it would be natural to ask again for a phone number if he told you he'd lost it, or at least make an effort to ask at the next most convenient moment- doesn't take that long! He seems ... (read in full...)
I have fallen madly, hotly in love with my sister in law
Q. I have completely fell for my sister-in-law , she even told her cousin I have the major hots for her and word for word her cousin came and told me , my brother has not done anything with her sense October last year and she is so grandly hot and it ...
A. 30 June 2016: writings pretty much on the wall. Perhaps the thought of you being responsible for all the pain, heartache and shame will be enough to come to your moral senses before the ink dries. So what if their sex life has hit a lull, for whatever reason that ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend selfish ? He is happy to receive, but will not reciprocate following times when I pleasure him
Q. my boyfriend never goes down on me. one day i asked why don’t you do it, he said he is not comfortable..so he don’t to do it. BUT i love doing it.. i more than comfortable doing it . one time he asked me.. i thought he will reciprocate so i did it.....
A. 30 June 2016: Ok, lets think about this from another perspective. Could his reluctance/lame excuses be code for "Um..you kinda smell/taste bad and I don't know how else to say it". Might explain why he has had no problem with the ex. Just a thought. Other than ... (read in full...)
If he hates other men looking at me why does he find it ok for him to go and look at other women.
Q. Firstly I want to start by saying that I am not a prude at all, I have no problem with pornography and stuff like that, I'm very open when it comes to things like that. I've even taken my boyfriend to a strip club before. But I've been with m...
A. 29 June 2016: A- hem...Amsterdam...!!!! and he has a problem with a guy from 3 years ago that looked at your tits, oh p..lease. It is not fair of him to be carrying on to such a degree over something as trivial, so much so it is putting a dampener on things for ... (read in full...)
Why do some people not say hello? Especially at work?
Q. Why do some people not say hi back, especially in work or social situation? I was told once to always say hi as i walk into work or in a social situation and im introverted, saying hi is hard but i do! So why do colleagues and some others igno...
A. 29 June 2016: Many reasons. Age, bad manners, didn't hear you, arrogant, dont like you. I find my self in the same situation as you. I will always say Hi, Morning, smile whatever and whether or not I get a response no longer bothers me, used to-a lot, what ... (read in full...)
Is it cheating if a man, married or in a relationship, has a happy ending occur after a massage?
Q. Hi ladies (and gents), I was searching for some opinion here! Long story cut short, what do you think of a married man or your spouse getting a happy ending after a massage? Would that be considered as cheating? Would you be upset if he told you...
A. 28 June 2016: Depends. If he went to get a massage that specialises in "happy endings" then sure-cheater! but if he went for a massage and his body alone cause it too happen then, no. Hope that makes sense? ... (read in full...)
What does the appearance of her toothbrush at my place mean?
Q. I've got a bit of a humorous question, however, it's also a serious one. Ladies, what does it really mean when you leave some of your belongings at a guys place? The girl I've been sleeping with for a while now just left (Cue the music: "Don don ...
A. 28 June 2016: Marriage...bar har ha. No it means, she has good hygiene and wants to always be kissable. Lucky you... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend selfish ? He is happy to receive, but will not reciprocate following times when I pleasure him
Q. my boyfriend never goes down on me. one day i asked why don’t you do it, he said he is not comfortable..so he don’t to do it. BUT i love doing it.. i more than comfortable doing it . one time he asked me.. i thought he will reciprocate so i did it.....
A. 28 June 2016: No, he's not being selfish. He doesn't like it and all thats bad about that is it's a bummer for you. Personally, I think selfishness is getting off when you know your partners is feeling nothing but obligated and uncomfortable. Sorry... (read in full...)
I feel like "Mr No Spine"
Q. His ladies and gents, long time no post here. The past 4 years have been great, I have met a great woman, and 1 year ago, we got married. We are living with her parents, it can get a little claustrophobic at times. Just for a small amount o...
A. 27 June 2016: "I believe her when she says she wants us to work and to fix our marriage"
Do you really? Be honest with yourself because she has no intention. You cant simply will her to be a loyal and faithful wife. She has to want to be that person and she does... (read in full...)
I'm not crazy .... am I?
Q. Hey everyone, I will keep this short and sweet (I am looking for a volume of answers to gauge what is deemed as acceptable by all) About six weeks ago I started chatting to a girl on Tinder, lovely bloody thing she is... We live 350kms apart, sh...
A. 26 June 2016: Not off to a good start in trying to establish what seems like will be an already difficult relationship. IMHO, LDR pose far too many obstacles for most to be able to handle, even more so with the world of Tinder and the likes.350km apart, who ... (read in full...)
Before I met her she had sex with my cousin. How do I get over this fact?
Q. I met this girl months ago and we've been dating since them, i'm really trying to forget and avoid jealousy but it's not easy! The fact the i have sex with the same girl my cousin had bothers me too much! I think about breaking up but i love her...
A. 25 June 2016: Lying is dumb yes but probably done to protect your feelings, not his as he did nothing wrong by sleeping with her years prior. Agree with Andie,Sad that you are not talking to your cousin over such a thing. Flip side of that is at least she is ... (read in full...)
She rejected my invitation. I still want to be friends. How do I keep things light when I see her again?
Q. Hello agony aunts So this week I asked a female friend of mine if she wanted to meet for a coffee sometime and I mentioned we don't get opportunities to talk at work with our different schedules. Which is true as we don't do, anyway to cut ...
A. 25 June 2016: wouldn't worry about it mate. we all forget things. More than likely she hasn't given much thought to it anyway because it a standard kind of question in idle chit chat, said without much thought. If it is really bugging you though you could, ... (read in full...)
Pulled a gorgeous female from work, organised the date. But how do dates work? Help.
Q. Dear agony aunts I pulled a beautiful girl at work, who ive been keen on for ages and have organised a date with her, and she said yes, and it was quite literally music to my ears. How do dates normally work? I know you have to look smart, and ...
A. 22 June 2016: 'Pulled' a girl? Hmmm...bit boorish. So my advice if it comes up in conversation about her agreeing to go out with you that you say " I really glad you accepted my invitation" and not "Wow..I can't believe I pulled you" lol. Yes..Yes Yes defiantly ... (read in full...)
Pulled a gorgeous female from work, organised the date. But how do dates work? Help.
Q. Dear agony aunts I pulled a beautiful girl at work, who ive been keen on for ages and have organised a date with her, and she said yes, and it was quite literally music to my ears. How do dates normally work? I know you have to look smart, and ...
A. 22 June 2016: 'Pulled' a girl? Hmmm...bit boorish. So my advice if it comes up in conversation about her agreeing to go out with you that you say " I really glad you accepted my invitation" and not "Wow..I can't believe I pulled you" lol. Yes..Yes Yes defiantly ... (read in full...)
Why does he give gifts to ex's kids but plays the "gift game" with me?
Q. Hello my bf and I have been together for two years. He's had a close relationship with his ex during this time. Texting, emailing, calling, and seeing her. He's also very close to her daughters. He attends their games, buys them gifts and keeps ...
A. 22 June 2016: Her kids, Not their Kids? Im not sure why he would do such a thing. It just seems manipulative and mean. Serves no purpose than getting his kicks from getting under your skin. Hardly what I would call a nice bf. Dick with me, that's one thing but ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my husband nicely that due our circumstances its not a good idea to have his kids at our home?
Q. My husband wants to get his kids (16 boy,13 girl, and 8boy)today but we both work from 6am-6pm M-F. There was no date given when they will be going back home (mothers house), last visit they stayed 3wks. We are having some financial issues right now ...
A. 22 June 2016: Unless this is during school holidays, why would they not be going to school? I do see what you are saying to a degree but to be honest I have to say " The kids must come first". Living in one house and visiting another can sometimes be a little ... (read in full...)
Help! What can I say? I'm a gay female being set up at work ! I'm scared and unsure what to do.
Q. Im a single GAY female over 40 and today at work as I walked in tea room I overheard her talking to another manager about setting me up with a 26 yr old asian guy who used to work with us and who likes me! And how I am " over 40" The other mana...
A. 21 June 2016: Thanks...but Im happily single. That it, all you need to say.... (read in full...)
Am I being a pushover? I'm trying to overlook that he saved nude of a coworker!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about 3 years now. We were able to make a long distance relationship work for about a year and then 9 months ago he changed jobs so that he could move in with me. Our relationship has always been pretty strong ho...
A. 20 June 2016: Hmmm, you can only hope he's telling you the truth so why not ask him to show you this so called link and the attached message from his mate otherwise how can you not be 100% sure she didn't sent them to him herself? If she has then he lied and to ... (read in full...)
My husband wont talk to his 26 year old that doesn't work, bathe or interact with people!
Q. Hello. In searching for an answer or at best some understanding to a terrible situation, I found this sight. To say that I'm thankful is an understatement. I have a 26-year-old stepson whose hygiene and overall laziness drives me crazy. He doesn't ...
A. 20 June 2016: Time to dig your heels in with your partner. When you do just be mindful that he will again try and make you out to be the bad guy, obviously you are not otherwise you wouldn't give a crap,which is good because thats when you strike by telling him ... (read in full...)
Did my girlfriend cross a line here?
Q. Just looking for some advice, try and put all the info down. This is as I heard it, obviously I wasn't there: Here's the situation, gf went out on a night out in another country with a big group of colleagues and clients for dinner and drink...
A. 19 June 2016: My question, Now if it were you, would she be accepting of the same behaviour? She totally fucked up in more ways than one. Personally, not sure if I could forgive and forget this type of scenario. Especially if she deems flirting as part of her ... (read in full...)
How should I behave when I meet his parents? They live abroad and I don't speak their language.
Q. Hi agony aunts! So my boyfriend and I have been together for a while now and we've decided to take the next step. Meeting the parents! Problem is his parents live abroad and I can't speak a word of their language. We're staying at his parents...
A. 19 June 2016: Hi
Communication is so much more than just words, of course in your case so much more helpful if you knew as few, but you can do other things. For example you can use a lot of positive body language and gestures, look and read the situation for oppo... (read in full...)
My partner doesn't think that my achievements are anything to be proud of
Q. Am I asking too much? I've just completed an intense access course at college after returning at 26, I've also gotten an offer from University and acquired the grades which means I'll begin my degree in September. Im so proud of myself goi...
A. 18 June 2016: Green eyed monster is your bf. Not that it helps much but his attitude in it self I would try see it through a different set of eyes. for him to be so much of an arsehole suggest to me that he is very threatened by your abilities, in other words, " ... (read in full...)
Why is porn condemned by women?
Q. I am curious about this. It seems that to some women the worst sin a man can commit is looking at porn and I don't get it. They are just images on a screen of women he most likely will never meet or ever have a chance with. The chances of him a...
A. 18 June 2016: Cant speak for all women, but for me i really do struggle with just how degrading it is towards women. I hate the fact because it is so easily accessible that it can be a misguided educator to young men and women. I hate the fact that young ... (read in full...)
I'm struggling with the right words to use in an email to tell her how much I like her. What would be the best way to do this?
Q. I'm an autistic male and find it hard to communicate with people and make friends and it's hard for me to write an email to someone, as it comes out as jumbled crap, as I've so many words in my head and when I write it out it comes out much worse as ...
A. 18 June 2016: Totally agree with the others, too early to be laying your feelings on the line. A bit of advice, if it were me, a declaration of the sorts would probably freak me out a bit. Keep it simple. If you are not one for communication via FB messaging then ... (read in full...)
Am I right to be upset about my boyfriend going on a "men's day out"? no women allowed.
Q. Am I right to be upset about my boyfriend going out for the day with his male friends?. He is going out for the day with his male friends this afternoon. He said no women are allowed. He said they go on a day out together every year. He also to...
A. 18 June 2016: Personally I cant see an issue and encourage my fella to do just that every now and then. I Think it is healthy to be able to hang out and chew the fat and do dude things. IMHO, if you are worried about other women socialising with him while you are ... (read in full...)
How can this continue with me losing my sanity? I have a wife and a girlfriend who are both amazing.
Q. I've been having an affair with a much younger, beautiful and sexy woman for over three years. I am in a fairly good marriage and we've been married for 22 years. My wife and I are on the same wave length. We've been through a lot together and are...
A. 16 June 2016: Come on...what do you do? You make a decision and stop being so self absorbed and selfish. Still, after 22 years of marriage you put this OW before your wife. How have you done this? By giving her a CHOICE. You were up front and honest by telling ... (read in full...)
When should I email the manager and what should I say?
Q. So I recently got this job as a carer, caring for a client with spinal cord injury (shes in a wheelchair). It is different from anything else ive done before, now this client can be a bit rude with her loud voice telling how to fold her clothes...
A. 15 June 2016: Ask her straight out- " Would you prefer another carer, because I cant see this arrangement working for either of us ?" If she doesn't want someone else set some boundaries and if she does leave. Being disabled is not a green light to be horrid to ... (read in full...)
I would love to ask this waitress out. Any suggestions on how to handle this?
Q. I like a waitress in the town near to where I live. She has served me on several occasions, and said hi and spoken to me. I would love to ask her out, but my bottle always goes!! It was my birthday yesterday, and on the way out she said 'Ha...
A. 15 June 2016: I agree, ask her. Worst case scenario she says no and you find somewhere else to eat. I cant see any thing wrong with a good ol' fashioned line of:
" I'd really like to take you out some time, how about ( insert date ) if you are free?" Good luck... (read in full...)
How do I give up someone I know is the one?
Q. First off, true love endures. It can withstand challenges, mishaps, and crisis. The important thing is, the one you believe to be the one, has to feel the same as you do; and be willing to struggle to keep it together as much as you want to. See,...
A. 14 June 2016: You my dear sir truly are a wise owl. Beautifully written words of wisdom. ... (read in full...)
Do relationships that start as affairs go the distance, or do they fail?
Q. My dad left my mum (who his disabled with MS) for the 'other woman' - do these relationships that start as an affair (lies, deception) typically last? How can his new parter trust him? She must be insecure that if he can do it with her, he will DO ...
A. 13 June 2016: Depends. Either way it being able to trust each other will no doubt sit niggling in the back of the mind. ... (read in full...)
Worried I'm on the wrong side of college secretary
Q. Hello...I need advise I recently got into a squabble with the secretary in my university. You see in my university whenever a semester starts we have the option to request a class to be offered in that semester instead of the regular semester, this ...
A. 10 June 2016: What a horrible experience. I would be filing a complaint. This woman is bang out of order. You don't speak to people in that manner and most certainly don't continue to abuse them for their mistake. What you have on your side is witness to back up ... (read in full...)
I can't believe my husband would even consider moving in with female roommates! Am I overreacting?
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, My husband moved to the USA recently and got an unpaid intern position for about 6 months. At the moment he is staying with his cousin but is looking for a place for himself. Yesterday he's been telling me that he has been...
A. 10 June 2016: Unless his cousin is kicking him out or some other inhabitable situation going on under that roof why the need to move? Shared accommodation cant be reason enough if he is willing to move in with others. You can only trust someone up until its all ... (read in full...)
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