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... Send *vyblue a private message | | | *vyblue's profile:What qualifies me to help people…? Well to be honest I don't really know. I consider myself to be a life long learner therefore far from knowing everything. I believe the "outsider looking in" kind of advice can sometimes be the best because it can be the most eye opening and honest response that you will find.
Where do I live…? I sometimes wish I lived in the land of LaLa but for the time being I live in the Land Down Under.
My family makes me tick. They are my motivation for most things that I do choose to do.
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I'm bi-curious and want to experiment with my friend
Q. straight, with some bi-curious. I want to experiment with my best friend, but I don't know how to approach it, like how he will handle it. I think he is curious as well, but I don't know. I don't want to ask him, and have him say no, but I want to ...
A. 18 October 2016: My advice is don't go there. Where do you go from there if it all goes pear shaped? Personally Id be looking elsewhere. There is a huge LBGQT community out there to find someone willing and able. ... (read in full...)
Do you think it's unreasonable for a husband to request that his wife not kiss mutual male friends hello and goodbye on the lips?
Q. Do you think it's unreasonable for a husband to request that his wife not kiss mutual male friends hello and goodbye on the lips? We only have one male friend who does this. He does it to other wives as well. He had been a mutual friend for 10 ye...
A. 18 October 2016: A quick peck, no but a hard lingering one yes. I have to agree lips are an, more so I think, intimate part of sexuality but in this case, as you have said yourself a platonic move. Try not let it get to you.... (read in full...)
Is lingerie an appropriate birthday gift for my girlfriend?
Q. we've been dating for 6 months. we're really close and intimate. Were both 23. We had sex for the first time a few nights ago. She having a birthday party coming up im thinking about giving lingerie for her birthday. I'm wanting something on the c...
A. 17 October 2016: I think it's ok but I would also steer clear of anything fitting like a bra. Get one too small and you'll offend her by her thinking you think she is that small, get one too big and shell think she's too small. Instead I would go for something more ... (read in full...)
My friend is accusing me of being a shitty friend because I like the guy she was cheating on her boyfriend with!
Q. This is a very complex situation, so please bare with me as this story might be a little long-winded. In August, my friend Leslie started hanging out with this guy, Ian, she met through Tinder. They were talking to each other off-and-on for n...
A. 16 October 2016: It is a horrible feeling to be on rocky terms with a friend but honestly who the heck does she think she is? I think the worst mistake that you made was agreeing to play a part in her deceiving her bf. Thats just low to ask a friend to go along and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a very inappropriate colleague who I'm extremely uncomfortable with; he says he'll avoid her but doesn't match his words
Q. My fiancé works with this girl who I accepted as a friend of ours and as part of our group. He had told me that she had displayed scandalous behaviours in the past (had tried to sleep with him while he had a girlfriend and told him she would never ...
A. 14 October 2016: Accident showed a porno of herself my arse. I just love it when the 'jealousy' card is pulled by bitches like this. I mean really, what the hell is too be jealous of? Oh bummer, why oh why cant I be a cheap and nasty loose piece of arse like you?- ... (read in full...)
He's not in the least interested so why does he want me in his life?
Q. Hey everyone. a few month ago i went on a date with a guy we then decided to be in a relationship . long story short he wasted my time made excuses not to see me and wasted my time i said its over and dumped him . he wanted to be friends so i kep...
A. 14 October 2016: Are you considering the friendship or just querying what he angle is? Call me soft but maybe he is being honest when he says he has sorted his head out. Epiphanies come when they come so I wouldn't judge too harshly for that. At least he had the ... (read in full...)
Am I being unfair, insensitive or inconsiderate of my MIL?
Q. I’m at my wits end with my MIL... if it wasn’t bad enough when my partner raced down 107kms to take his mother to the hairdressers when no-one else was available for free, this next exploit beats all. Earlier this year my MIL made flight ...
A. 13 October 2016: No Cindy I don't consider your words to be polemic at all- every one is entitled to their opinion, thats what this site is about and why I love it. It is not about the cost per se it is about thinking it is ok. I dont know where this lady lives in ... (read in full...)
Am I being unfair, insensitive or inconsiderate of my MIL?
Q. I’m at my wits end with my MIL... if it wasn’t bad enough when my partner raced down 107kms to take his mother to the hairdressers when no-one else was available for free, this next exploit beats all. Earlier this year my MIL made flight ...
A. 13 October 2016: No Cindy I don't consider your words to be polemic at all- every one is entitled to their opinion, thats what this site is about and why I love it. It is not about the cost per se it is about thinking it is ok. I dont know where this lady lives in ... (read in full...)
I'm worried he'll disappear when he finds out I'm a virgin!
Q. I've met the guy and things are going well. We've been on dates and get on really well and I feel comfortable with him. However, recently he's asked me to stay over at his and I'm sorta afraid too :/ This is because I feel he will want to h...
A. 13 October 2016: Why feel low, why not proud that you decide and not give in to what society expectation? You go girl. I would be REALLY shocked to think that this guy would disappear because you are a virgin. I think he would be right into being your first. I ... (read in full...)
Am I being unfair, insensitive or inconsiderate of my MIL?
Q. I’m at my wits end with my MIL... if it wasn’t bad enough when my partner raced down 107kms to take his mother to the hairdressers when no-one else was available for free, this next exploit beats all. Earlier this year my MIL made flight ...
A. 13 October 2016: 300km- did I read correct? thats a 3 and a bit hr drive even doing the Aussie speed limit of 110/km. AND at our petrol prices-crikey I'd be pretty ticked off too. No way, I think she's taking the piss when there are far less inconvenient for you ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend thinks we should find other people because I last way too long in bed and she takes a minute to orgasm and then gets bored
Q. My girlfriend says she thinks we should find other people because I last way too long in bed and she takes a minute to "O" and then gets bored and wants me to just get it over with. We do foreplay and I am trying to teach her how to satisfy my wi...
A. 12 October 2016: Hi. Find other people as in separate or find other people as in open relationship? May I ask how long you guys have been together and has this always been an issue? Plenty of people don't enjoy marathon sex but holy cow she is not very ... (read in full...)
I'm married no sex with wife but am meeting men behind her back
Q. I am a married man, 2 kids and have over the last year not had sex with my wife. Instead I have joined a dating agency, gay sex site really and had numerous encounters, which I have fully enjoyed, Truth be told I feel more comfortable with mal...
A. 11 October 2016: So you should feel bad for your deceitful behaviour. Cheating with a woman is nasty but cheating on your wife with another man is a whole other emotional ride. Come clean, she deserves that much. At the end of the day it is not your place to make ... (read in full...)
Am I being mistreated? Is this emotional abuse?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for 2 years. I don’t know if this is emotional abuse or if there is something I can do to fix the problem. This morning I had gone to make a shake for him and when I poured the material inside ...
A. 11 October 2016: Sorry for the two replies, my dog walked across my lap top ... (read in full...)
Am I being mistreated? Is this emotional abuse?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for 2 years. I don’t know if this is emotional abuse or if there is something I can do to fix the problem. This morning I had gone to make a shake for him and when I poured the material inside ...
A. 11 October 2016: I take it he is perhaps diabetic? This kind of behaviour can be a result as he says low blood sugar levels. My understanding is these mood swings and bouts of anger are symptoms of the disease. How much is the disease and how much is the ... (read in full...)
Am I being mistreated? Is this emotional abuse?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for 2 years. I don’t know if this is emotional abuse or if there is something I can do to fix the problem. This morning I had gone to make a shake for him and when I poured the material inside ...
A. 11 October 2016: I take it he is perhaps diabetic? This kind of behaviour can be a result as he says low blood sugar levels. My understanding is these mood swings and bouts of anger are symptoms of the disease. How much is the disease and how much is the ... (read in full...)
How can keep him interested in me and not compare me to the others he was with ?
Q. I've been dating my bf for 5 months. He is 19 and I'm 16. I'm still a button and he has been really patient with me. He isn't a virgin, he's the total opposite. He has had sex with 11 different girls, 3 of those girls would hook ups at parties. He ...
A. 11 October 2016: Sorry I meant Prepared that it is NOT be as you imagine... (read in full...)
I'm dating a girl but slept with another girl. Should I feel guilty?
Q. I've recently been dating this girl and things have gone well we've gone out about four times and we kissed for the first time yesterday. After she went I was going on a night out with my friends and friends of theirs. long story short I slept wi...
A. 11 October 2016: Nope. Just don't do it again if you are serious about dating this girl... (read in full...)
How can keep him interested in me and not compare me to the others he was with ?
Q. I've been dating my bf for 5 months. He is 19 and I'm 16. I'm still a button and he has been really patient with me. He isn't a virgin, he's the total opposite. He has had sex with 11 different girls, 3 of those girls would hook ups at parties. He ...
A. 11 October 2016: He means it is not 'fair' to get him sexually excited then shut it down. For a boy of that age and experience to still be patient for 5 months suggest he is into you a bit more than a 'score' but the age gap can be a problem. Anyones first time can ... (read in full...)
How can I save myself? This man is like a bad drug
Q. Hi All, I was with a man who thinks sex can be separated from love. After several months of dramas, i knew he's not someone i can have a future together with. He often messaged me after i left and i ignored him. One day he texted if i wouldn'...
A. 10 October 2016: Put some effort into someone else and give yourself something else to focus on. You do it because he's 'there'... (read in full...)
I haven't spoken to my boyfriend in 2 months! Is he trying to end things?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for just under a year. In the last two months he has said to me he's been really busy and needs some time and space. He hasn't contacted me for 2 months everytime I message him on what's app he says well chat next week ...
A. 10 October 2016: I'd be taking it as a sign, yes. Sounds like a gutless dweeb to be carrying on like this. Leave him to his cowardly ways and find someone worthy of your time. Good luck, you dont need this type of crap... (read in full...)
I really like him but feel like a fool
Q. I have been single now for about 5 years, I've met guys, dated a little but I find it hard to connect with someone. I met someone about 2 months ago, cliche as he's a dance teacher so super flirty but we clicked. We've spent a weekend together and ...
A. 8 October 2016: Totally agree with Andie, back off and let what will be be. If he feels as though your changing direction maybe he will change his to catch you. If not just keep on keeping on. Good luck... (read in full...)
I've lost my best friend because of his jealous girlfriend
Q. So I've been best friends with a guy since grade school. I haven't seen a lot of him this last year because I've been really busy studying for important exams, but we always kept in regular contact. In that time, he got a girlfriend. I bumped into ...
A. 8 October 2016: Off will come the rose coloured glasses and he may then see her for the weener she sounds, and he realises the weener he's been then you'll get your chance to tell him to "fuck off". Sorry but he sounds like a pussy and she hold the whip. Good ... (read in full...)
The comments and attitudes of friends about us dating is really causing a strain on our relationship
Q. My life is hell. I am an older woman in a mixed culture relationship of contrasting complexions and when I first met my current partner he made it clear that he was broke depressed and lonely. We were so happy to have found each other at first bu...
A. 5 October 2016: Do you take it upon yourself to interfere with their relationships, I assume no, so don't let them interfere with your happiness. Let them know that you want their support not their approval. Furthermore, let them know that the only problem you two ... (read in full...)
My partner is away alot and I've become too friendly with our neighbor
Q. Okay so, please don't knock me down for this, I just seriously need to ask for help! Me and my partner have been together for 6 years, 3 young children, 2, 3+4 and I have a 10 year old from a previous relationship, my family are my life you know...
A. 5 October 2016: Oh my...! Just think of what your husband would do if he knew what he wanted to do with his wife when she wears shorts. My advice would be to talk to this guy, who I might add is hardly what I would consider a 'mate' to your husband. Mates don't ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said I was violent today while having sex. I hope that's good?
Q. My boyfriend said I was "violent" while having sex with him today. I was just really into it. And he likes when I am aggressive and take charge. This is a good thing?...
A. 5 October 2016: Hopefully it was said in jest referring to you getting your rocks totally off, if not then you may have a problem on your hands- unless invited and with 100% clarification as to where the physical line is drawn, violent is not good. I would suggest ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend ran into a guy from high school that made me feel insecure. I feel upset about their encounter
Q. Ive been dating a guy for a few months now. He has been very good to me , kind , caring, selfless, all those things. I hate that this has bothered me so, but it has. He shared with me tonight that he spent some time the other day with a guy I went ...
A. 4 October 2016: says more about him than it does you. At 35 give or take, one would think that he had matured enough to realise that people change a lot over time, growing out of their teenage skin-well most people with the exception of him what a douche bag and ... (read in full...)
Does prior promiscuity / lack of self care mean danger in a relationship?
Q. So.... a couple meets on tinder. They like each other, go for "the test". Turns out person A has an STD but makes out like they were just "unlucky" to have contracted it. Person B accepts and tries to move forward confidently. Person B had a clean ...
A. 4 October 2016: Hmmm... this would be a total turn off for me. Not because of the persons sexual liaisons as such, I mean how many is too many depends on the individual but just because of the reckless ness side of things in addition to knowing my spouse had an ... (read in full...)
Why can't I find someone to date?
Q. So about 2 months ago I broke up with my boyfriend. It has been my most meaningful relationship to date, because we lived together. At first it was all a dream. I was crazy in love, we had the chemistry that only happens in movies. And I felt loved ...
A. 4 October 2016: Hi op. First of all I think you are being all that bit too hard on yourself labelling yourself as 'stupid' for sticking with guy no.2 I think most people some where along the line have wished for that round peg to fit into that darn awkwardly ... (read in full...)
How long does it take somebody to get over nonstop lying, cheating & betrayal??
Q. Hi All!! Im praying that somebody out there will have some answers to my massive confusion in my relationship. 4 months after starting a relationship with the guy im still with currently. He proposed to me. I accepted due to being massively head ...
A. 1 October 2016: How long is a piece of string? Especially when you are trying to sort through your emotions yourself. Without having to talk free and frank with someone outside of the relationship, ie thearapist, you more than likely wont ever find peace. Not just ... (read in full...)
How long does it take somebody to get over nonstop lying, cheating & betrayal??
Q. Hi All!! Im praying that somebody out there will have some answers to my massive confusion in my relationship. 4 months after starting a relationship with the guy im still with currently. He proposed to me. I accepted due to being massively head ...
A. 1 October 2016: How long is a piece of string? Especially when you are trying to sort through your emotions yourself. Without having to talk free and frank with someone outside of the relationship, ie thearapist, you more than likely wont ever find peace. Not just ... (read in full...)
How Can one forgive BETRAYAL of someone you love, cheating and now the the woman is pregnant?
Q. I met the man of my dreams, my best friend over a year ago. we live together and his kids come over every other weekend " I Love Them". we went on vacation 5- months ago and I saw a girl kept calling? I asked who is she then my life forever cha...
A. 27 September 2016: 2 things that you mention would make it impossible for me to ever forgive and forget : I lost my babies they said maybe due to stress.I am just sad at times that she gets to have the baby and I lost ours. There are plenty of opportunities to see ... (read in full...)
I want my sister back in my life but how?
Q. I (18,M) was playing basketball with my sister's (28,F) boyfriend CJ (25,M) a few days ago, and I was really starting to get frustrated because he's like 6 foot 4 and I'm 5 foot 4 so it was a blowout. He was talking a lot of trash and tried ...
A. 21 September 2016: oh to be perfect hey? have to agree, seems like she is just exercising her right to be annoyed. Healthy sporting aggression is not the same as a deliberate 'I'm gonna fuck up up man'. He is her bf and well...he did end up in hospital! Give her some ... (read in full...)
Is it really wrong to pay for sex
Q. I have reading the many posts on dearcupid from men who are contemplating paying for sex. I see that most people are against it, like it is the lowest a guy can go. I am at the lowest point in my life now and it will only get worse. I have Marfan ...
A. 21 September 2016: Mate, Im a woman and I say go for it. This is no bodies business but yours. Friends, I would like to think would say the same. The how, who's and what we do in our sex life our own personal journey. This is bucket list stuff and unless these friends ... (read in full...)
I'm besotted with a female colleague
Q. Hi, I'm currently married with children, happily I must add. Intimacy has been an issue between us for a longtime and not just sex but otherwise we are very happy and good together. About a week ago through the course of work I met another woman wh...
A. 19 September 2016: What good would come of finding out if she fancies you too? None. You know this so obviously wise not to even go there. Shutting it down in your heart and head needs to be your focus not making a rod for your own back. My advice would be make EVERY ... (read in full...)
What can I do about my very controlling aggressive abusive husband? I want out of this abusive marriage
Q. Hello i have a very serious problem. My husband is very controlling and he has been disrespectful to my Mom and my children. He has called my daughters stupid bitches and he calls my son a dumb mf. He says thats just the way he talks but i hate it!...
A. 19 September 2016: Horrible situation. You make a very valid point suggesting you daughters may see you as weak. Furthermore it can have the opposite effect by having them develop, being treated as you do, a standard of this being acceptable for themselves through out ... (read in full...)
How do I ask her out? I think she's out of my league
Q. Hi. Before I go on I thought a bit of info might be useful. I'm 16, and have never unlike everyone (it seems)been in a relationship. A months ago I met this girl. I never really noticed it until recently but I think there may be something between ...
A. 17 September 2016: Not sit one the side lines and be kicking yourself later that someone else has had the courage to ask her out. That would be far more of a piss off than having to live and learn from a possible rejection. Remember what doesn't kill us makes us ... (read in full...)
Is it really wrong to pay for sex
Q. I have reading the many posts on dearcupid from men who are contemplating paying for sex. I see that most people are against it, like it is the lowest a guy can go. I am at the lowest point in my life now and it will only get worse. I have Marfan ...
A. 14 September 2016: Go for it. Who is anyone to say what is right or wrong between to consenting adults. But do your homework. I think the surrogate sounds ideal. Your in Australia right? Maybe this link can point you in the right direction.
www.... (read in full...)
Please advise!!! What should I do about this situation with my girlfriend??
Q. Okay, so this is my first time posting any sort of question online. I've been on and off this site for years just browsing never thinking I would ever need to post anything on here, but here I am. So here's the issue, me and my girlfriend have bee...
A. 14 September 2016: It's not fair that you haven't fully forgiven her, is she for real? She hasn't FULLY stopped in with her bullshit. It really pisses me right off when spouses have the sheer audacity to palm off such deliberate behaviour as "nothing serious or ... (read in full...)
Neighbors won't share parking spaces
Q. Hi, my question is not a relationship question but I need your suggestion. I live in a 2 floor apartment. The first floor neighbors are a couple in their early 30s. We didn't have a parking and I wanted to leave few months ago for this reason but my ...
A. 10 September 2016: Maybe ask him to spray paint apartment 1 and apartment 2 car park only. Let them figure out what to do with their other car. ... (read in full...)
Should 13 year olds date 16 year olds?
Q. I'm a 13 year old female and I'm dating a 16 year old guy.. I think I'm in love but I don't know if that's wrong. I mean my friends say that we are cute and my parents say that it's wrong because of the age difference. All I wanna know is if it's ...
A. 10 September 2016: You cant help feel what you feel honey but there is a fair amount of emotional and sexual maturity in what seems 'only' 3 years. At 16 he needs to show intellectual maturity by not pursuing you. It sucks and most defiantly hurts not to be able to ... (read in full...)
LDR boyfriend has been chatting inappropriately with other women and even worse, with his ex... And has painted me like a monster in front of her!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and long distance for almost 1 year. Up until a few days ago, I thought our relationship was amazing. I considered this relationship the healthiest, most honest, and loving one I've ever been in. H...
A. 10 September 2016: Leave... (read in full...)
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