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... Send *vyblue a private message | | | *vyblue's profile:What qualifies me to help people…? Well to be honest I don't really know. I consider myself to be a life long learner therefore far from knowing everything. I believe the "outsider looking in" kind of advice can sometimes be the best because it can be the most eye opening and honest response that you will find.
Where do I live…? I sometimes wish I lived in the land of LaLa but for the time being I live in the Land Down Under.
My family makes me tick. They are my motivation for most things that I do choose to do.
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In just 2 days? How can someone do that - fall out of love and become so cold to someone in such a short period of time?
Q. Hi guys. Glad to be sharing my first post here with you - hopefully you can offer some perspective on what has been an incredibly difficult week... Apologies for how long this is likely to be - I want to make sure that I get as much detail in ...
A. 4 January 2017: Pretty heartless little lady. Sounds like people may have been getting in her ear OR an old flame has resurfaced perhaps? Could be she is just a game player who enjoyed living the dream until it was becoming a reality. What about your past, do you ... (read in full...)
Can this become my best option? I want to cut my entire family off from my life completely
Q. I want to cut my entire family off from my life completely. I come from a very large polygamous family but we're so divided that every part of the whole is like on its own niche. I don't talk to my step neither do they talk to me. I only keep co...
A. 2 January 2017: Never have I believed in the saying that blood is thicker than water. For me and my past family relationships, that blood ran though my veins like poison. It was toxic. So, like you, came to the decision- enough! That was coming up to nearly 4 years ... (read in full...)
His reaction made me feel guilty. Should I have gone there when he asked me to come over ?
Q. My boyfriend called on a Sunday as soon as he woke up, which was the same time I woke up. He asked me "come over, I'll change the oil in your car", and since I just woke up and haven't walked my little dogs for a couple days because of the cold wea...
A. 2 January 2017: Being a bit of a princess your bf. Given half a chance to wake up Im sure you guys could have negotiated a better deal. But at the end of the day you had plans that you felt were a priority, so be it, not need to drop everything at his beck and ... (read in full...)
Will he freak when he finds I'm a virgin?
Q. Guys... what do you think if you get with someone who's a virgin? Ive met this guy and things are going well but he keeps turning things sexual. And well I've never done anything and still a virgin. I'm afraid when I tell him. He will freak out? ...
A. 1 January 2017: He was a virgin too once so I wouldn't be worried about that. The question is do you want to loose your virginity to this guy? If things are going great and thats what you want to do then it needs to be said. Hopefully When the time comes you can ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend kissed another guy while drunk as a 'joke'. Are my thoughts on this incident justifyable or am I being too uptight about this?
Q. Hello all, Yesterday my bf of 6 years told me he'd kissed a guy he knew, while drunk, full on the mouth during a concert a few months back. It happened in a joking context, he added. Because of this context, he does not see a problem with it....
A. 1 January 2017: Depends on what kind of kiss and too what degree of context it played in the 'joke' I suppose. A full on lingering french kiss is a bit different to a drunken "maaaaaaaaate....mwhah" Perhaps getting a clear explanation of what lead to the event ... (read in full...)
Waiting for a proposal for 3 years and then the ring was not to my taste. Am I worrying about things that matter in this situation?
Q. Iv been waiting over 3 and a half years for a proposal for a wedding After much nagging about marriage I got a proposal with a 219 pound argos ring when he earns over 20 000 per annum which shows no saving as he bought even this on a per monthly ...
A. 1 January 2017: If you truly love this man I think being gracious instead of ungrateful the better choice of action. Having your Dad getting involved really is cringe worthily insulting and not something I would be too forgiving. Could it be that you and him have ... (read in full...)
RIP Beloved George Michael
Q. We lost George Michael just a day ago. He has sung me to sleep, awaken me in the morning, and told me a story as I looked out into the rain. My heart just sank when I heard the news, and I just didn't want to believe we've lost yet another one. It's ...
A. 29 December 2016: I remember being sooooooooooo in love with George in my wee teens. So much so when Last Christmas came out I spent a good part of the day crying my eyes out. Fantasising 'I' was "that' girl lol. Now it was his last Christmas and again I find myself ... (read in full...)
I can't walk away from my married guy but I can't handle the situation either
Q. I need help to deal with this situation without judgement please. I am having a relationship with my pastor. Well most would say affair but it is more than that to me. I'm 26 and a single Mum and he helped me so much and my wee girl. I ended up ...
A. 27 December 2016: Spreading the word of God, then cheating on his wife, family and YOU. Speaks volumes of an A class arrogant hypocrite. I say cheating you because this is not the work of a man who will give you anything but a bullshit story to keep you as a bit on ... (read in full...)
Go out on New Year's Eve alone? Is it safe?
Q. The last 5 years I've been single and primarily friendless so I've stayed in watching tv trying to convince myself I wasn't bored. This year I'm still single, but my friends are coupled or will be out of town and I just can't stand the thought of ...
A. 26 December 2016: I think with the amount of people out and about NYE, you being a single man, would hardly stick out and really why should it matter anyway? If going out is what you feel like doing then you should go ahead and do just that. Pity should be for anyone ... (read in full...)
Was I right to call this woman a silly old trout over her cashmere jumper?
Q. Today me my husband and my severly disabled son when into a fish a chip shop restaurant. My son got hold of one of those small squeeezy packets of sauce, (he can grab at people and throw things so we always try to sit well away from people. )We were ...
A. 25 December 2016: "Silly old trout", so wish I was there to see and hear that. Sorry but I cant help but giggle. A whole lot better than telling her to "F" off. This could of happened to ANYONE, young, old, or disabled. Accidents happen. She should be thankful you ... (read in full...)
I feel fed up not knowing where I stand!
Q. I met a guy 4 years ago through a walking group. We were both interested in each other but for some reason we never got together. I told him I liked him and he had some sort of anxiety attack and panicked in front of me saying he wasn't interested ...
A. 25 December 2016: Sounds all a bit too hard. personally I'd let it be. Assumed you were being chatted up, if he were keen instead of taking that as defeat could have stood up a bit then and there. Cast your mind back to his initial anxiety attack over a simple ... (read in full...)
What does it mean to say a guy is "sharp"? is such a guy shy or just cunning?
Q. Dear Aunts, So I heard that he is "Sharp" and is good with the ladies. But he has been staring at me for weeks now and not making a move. So is he shy or just cunning? what you think?...
A. 23 December 2016: Neither. He is either "switched on, knows what he likes/wants' or he is a smart dresser
... (read in full...)
How could she have a three year sexual affair with this guy, and still have sex with me??
Q. I recently discovered that my wife has been having a sexual affair with a single friend of ours for the past three years, usually when I was at work.... he is single and has had girlfriends in this three year period..She knew this because he came ...
A. 23 December 2016: Heart goes out to you mate, that a horrible and hurtful thing to have to deal with. Trusting your wife is no stupid act, thats the fundamentals of marriage and you are NOT STUPID by a long shot. That of course would depend on how you handle things ... (read in full...)
Should I worry that his first love is making contact?
Q. Hi my husbands first love is trying to get in contact with him. He's not sure yet if he will reply to email. I'm not sure how I feel about this,on the one hand I want him to do what he wants but on the other I'm a bit concerned about feelings being ...
A. 21 December 2016: Let sleeping dogs lie IMHO. There are plenty of people to be aquainted... (read in full...)
Was it wrong to raise a glass at the graveside?
Q. I am involved in a bit if an argument. A mutual family friend passed away aged 49 from breast cancer. On her 50th birthday some of the family (not her family) and friends took some champagne and celebrated her birthday around her grave. The took ...
A. 20 December 2016: Even in death, life should be celebrated. Jim Morrisons grave site is testament to it. People just seen things differently, each to their own I guess.... (read in full...)
Do I make contact with his other child's mother?
Q. Hi there I getting in contact because I don't knowwho else to ask.I am with a guy for less then a year we have a child a little boy whose a month old well anyway he got a daughter who is 5 yes old who he doesn't see because he said the mother Wouldn...
A. 19 December 2016: Before getting on contact with her directly I think it is important to sit down with your partner to discuss what your reasons are for wanting to get in contact and how best to approach things. What ever past they have, good bad or ugly, your child ... (read in full...)
I'm comparing myself to his beautiful ex and feel like I don't measure up!
Q. I have been married to a wonderful man for the last 4 years and I have yet to find any flaws in his looks or personality. In being up front, this is a question based out of my own insecurities and not from something he has done or said. He w...
A. 17 December 2016: Too right Aunty BimBim, cheating is so bloody ugly. Let me tell from my own experience of being cheated on. I wouldn't give a rats bum if my ex was still hot if I ever laid eyes on him. Instead all I would see is the bastard that caused so much ... (read in full...)
I found out he's communicating with his ex. What now?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 months and I couldn't be happier. We are so compatible and i feel like i've known him for years. He treats me very well and is the gentleman of my dreams. However, i would like opinion on a dilemma i have...
A. 13 December 2016: yep, have to agree with Honeypie. I think the connection is the money. I agree remaining friends can be a no go but that depends on the situation. Your bf is not backward in coming forwards about mentioning you just as she is about you being thought ... (read in full...)
I'm not good at sport. How can I convince my BF not to watch me playing sport?
Q. I'm not very good at the sport I play, I'm embarressingly bad. My boyfriend insisted he'd come to one of my games, and he's coming to my game on Wednesday. I don't really want him to come, seeing as he's really into his sport and he'll be pretty ...
A. 11 December 2016: Well that makes two of us, and I suspect thousands more, I suck at sport too. If two left feet and un co-ordination was an Olympic sport I'd be gold medalist. That I'm sure of. I doubt you are as bad as you think and it's not about how good or bad ... (read in full...)
What do you do when your partner out of nowhere suddenly says that they don't love you anymore?
Q. What do you do when your partner of 12 years (wife for 2 1/2) suddenly tells you out of the blue she no longer loves, feels attracted to you and knows without any doubt this is how she feels? I busted her whilst she was on a night out texting some...
A. 9 December 2016: Don't put yourself in a vulnerable position and lay sucker punched for too long otherwise the blows will becoming from left right and centre. Blows like I want the house,car,kids,saving,furniture and the cat. Not loving someone makes it very easy ... (read in full...)
How do I reassure her that even though I cheated to be with her that I won't cheat on her?
Q. I had an affair with a girl "Kelsey" , she was girl I worked with and was going through a hard time with her family . It started out as friends , me being there for her when she needed someone to lean on. I was in a 5 year relationship with my ex. ...
A. 9 December 2016:
Well I don't think that you can really, not 100% anyway. I mean, it would only seem natural to think "well he did it to her why not me? ". It may not be who you are but you have demonstrated what you are capable of. I think her family and frie... (read in full...)
How can I keep safe on New Year's Eve when I will be alone?
Q. I am going to the heart of my city to see theater show on NYE, am catching a bus due to traffic.. is this safe as a single woman alone.? I am alone caching a bus home after the show at 10.30-11pm, before midnights events/fireworks etc.. there will...
A. 9 December 2016: Personally I would drive because you cant put a price on your safety, simply- it's just not worth it. Nor would I use an Uber service either because they are not regulated in the same ways as taxis etc. Therefore may pose a serious risk as any Tom ... (read in full...)
'I have given that threesome thing a thought.'
Q. Hello. Long story short. I'm divorced and I started an affair with a colleague. She's young and energetic. She once suggested me to bring a close friend of hers -whom I know personally quite well and is like a friend to me - into our sexual relation ...
A. 6 December 2016: I've given it a thought too and thats where it stayed,in my head. Why? because in my head it plays out all happy happy joy joy. Long term relationships may suffer fallout on a larger scale in comparison to something less emotionally invested as the ... (read in full...)
I just found out my boyfriend's best female friend does porn to pay for college
Q. My boyfriends best friend is a girl which I've always been ok with because she was dating one of his friends and my boyfriend says that even though she is attractive, he doesn't find her attractive. however I've recently found out that she does porn ...
A. 5 December 2016: I think it is ok to tell him how you feel. I mean I would care much for someone I didn't think cares much and if you were friends with a male who did porn and was a free agent I think he too would feel a little uncomfortable with the situation. Does ... (read in full...)
Like him but he has a girlfriend
Q. I've been talking to this guy for a while now. It's been going really well and then he asks me on a date. However, we didn't be go on it because I found out he has a girlfriend. I've said I can't do this and we shouldn't talk. The problem is,...
A. 5 December 2016: next... (read in full...)
Exactly what is it he is asking, when he asks, "what do you want?"
Q. I really really really like this guy. We've been seeing each other and talking and everything is wonderful. He asked me what I want a few times. In fact he said he wants me to think of what is it I want in the next few weeks..And I have no idea what ...
A. 5 December 2016: Well it is a bit risky because he is going to like what you say or not. Thing is if you dont get on board with being upfront and honest then you come of as someone who plays minds games. Not attractive and down right annoying. When he ask what it is ... (read in full...)
My mom ruined my last two birthdays and I'm dreading that she'll do the same this year
Q. Hello dearcupids, I am 25 yr single lady. Currently unemployed. My mother spoiled my birthday for last two years. I don't know why she did this, she even didn't wished me on my birthday. I cried always due to Her continuous mean behaviour. When ...
A. 2 December 2016: wow thats mean! My advice would be to get up early before she does, go out for the day and stay well away from her. Dont even give her the time or space to make you feel so bad. Treat yourself to something special. I notice you are unemployed ... (read in full...)
I am insecure about how my body looks, its affecting my sex life!
Q. Hello, and thanks for reading. I am very apprehensive and insecure when I have sex with my boyfriend. I wish I had the confidence to initiate but everytime I build myself up to initiate, I clam up. I find myself to be beautiful and I love my body ...
A. 29 November 2016: Va jay jays come in all sorts of shapes,sizes and colours. Much the same as mens Jolly Rodgers. Short of surgery, it is what it is and they are what they are. You may see it as having imperfections, he more than likely sees it as,sorry to be ... (read in full...)
Should I feel guilty that I seen someone else while we were broken up?
Q. I am currently in a loving relationship with someone who I've been with for 3 years and we are now talking about marriage. However, in that three years, we've broken up twice... once for 3 weeks the other for 3 months, both my choice because I...
A. 28 November 2016: A lot of people in your situation would have keep mum, I would have. Not because I would have though I had done anything wrong, because the relationship was over. There is no need to disclose anything and I would not expect the same if the shoe were ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants me to give another man oral sex.I am not happy with this!
Q. My boyfriend has been pressuring me into blowing another guy and I feel completely uncomfortable with the idea, I have told him this everytime he's asked and now he brings it up in the middle of sex or while he's dirty talking, I told him I'd ...
A. 27 November 2016: He sounds like a pimp and he is whoring you out. He is what he is... a fucking arsehole. I cant help but feel very angry on your behalf. If you do this now ,where does it end for you? What do you do when he ups the ante? Let yourself be sexually ... (read in full...)
I think I deserve a straight answer
Q. I asked this girl out recently who I actually thought liked me back, given all the flirting, but as soon as I asked if she wanted to go out, she shrugged her shoulders and said, “I don’t know, I have to think about it, can I get back to you?” W...
A. 27 November 2016: Playing hard to get perhaps but I wouldn't go there by asking again. You asked it's up to her to make the next move if there is one to make.... (read in full...)
I've planned a very elaborate threesome with my bf and another girl, but could still do with some advice..
Q. Hi all. The live-in boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. We are very solid, trust each other completely, with little to no jealousy whatsoever, and we have a great sex life. So after about 6 months of discussion, we've finally decided to ...
A. 25 November 2016: Condoms may protect you and him but you do need to consider just how you are protected if you decide, or get caught in the moment even, have oral sex with her. You can still catch an STD so I would consider using a dam. ( like the dentist do, that ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cheated but I want him back..
Q. I have been in a 2 year relationship, and after the first year I would catch my boyfriend trying to talk to girls once in a while. He always apologised and used excuses such as "i was bored" "i was just trying out my game again" "it dont mean ...
A. 25 November 2016: Why, To prove that you are his "one"?. Hun let him go, he wants to see other people and he will see other people whether you are together or not. Relationships tainted by infidelity have as many weak spots as a shattered vase glued back together ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure of the meaning behind what my girlfriend's cousin is writing to me
Q. I am English, and my girlfriend is originally Polish. We went over to Poland in July to meet her family. She introduced me to her second cousin who is our age, who was pretty good at English. At first she said she was shy talking English and would ...
A. 23 November 2016: Simple- "Hey..look (insert name) I dont mind chatting but Im in a relationship with your cousin, she means a lot to me and i feel a bit uncomfortable with you sending me flirty emojis. Im sure you can understand just how very easily things like ... (read in full...)
How do I turn down friends that wish to date me?
Q. Ok my problem is pretty simple - I am recently out of a long term relationship and since I've been single, a few guys I know (old work colleagues, classmates etc) have contacted me via Facebook and asked me out. Unfortunately I've not been attracted ...
A. 22 November 2016: Thank you, I'm flattered but I'd rather be focused on my friendships and not relationships just yet. Its all that bit too soon for me.... (read in full...)
I've taken him back 3 times despite him having broken my trust, now I'm pregnant after a miscarriage and I feel he's straying again
Q. I keep taking my boyfriend back time and time again after he cheats on me or hurts me, and I really don't know why. At first I took him back because I generally felt I was to blame. I'm saying it was my fault, but I did a few stupid things at the ...
A. 21 November 2016: Sorry hun but it sounds very much like he is adding to your mental issues. Clearly 3 times is not a charm, things are going from bad to worse. If you feel he is cheating and given the history he probably is. Taking him back over and over tells him ... (read in full...)
How can I make co parenting work?
Q. Does anyone have experience in co-parenting? I recently split from my boyfriend, and we have 2 children. Things ended pretty badly, but I've accepted that we're through. I think he's taking it a bit harder than I am, but as a mother, you don't have ...
A. 20 November 2016: sorry to hear you are having to go though this, it sux, it really does! He is hurt,ok but he needs to deal with that on his own time and not that of his kids-plain and simple. 'Great' parenting starts with putting your kids needs before your own.
I... (read in full...)
My husband is chatting to girls on xbox and facebook. I've asked him not to but he keeps adding girls!
Q. Hi there My husband and I have been married just over a year now. He has been on the xbox chatting to girls I told him I didn't mind him chatting to them on the xbox as long as it stays to the xbox, I don't feel that it's appropriate for ...
A. 19 November 2016: Ok, personally I cant see a problem with chatting with chicks in the same manner as you would a dude, gaming context, but to add them as FB friends I think a step too far. The fact that your husband out and out lied is a real problem. Deceit in ... (read in full...)
I'm losing my mind over my finances! This is worse than rock bottom. What do I do?
Q. I know this isn't exactly a relationship question but this is killing me. I'm in debt after helping out financially. I haven't been able to pay credit cards, haven't been able to find a second job and now, I'm in danger of losing my car. My ...
A. 19 November 2016: Have you first tried talking to the bank to get some advice on how best to deal with it? I mean the obvious is to get you to pay up but it could be possible for you to negotiate a better deal on your outstanding debt. banks don't tell you, you have ... (read in full...)
What is wrong with me I want a relationship but I don't want sex?
Q. Hey Cupids,I'm still a young woman who is truly in to sex with men but I have been single for years and now I want to get into the dating world but not ready to have sex with anymore.I'm ready to travel and just do me but I do feel lonely at times ...
A. 17 November 2016: Have you thought about just finding a suitable travelling partner? A male companion without the pressure for anything more. There are a lot of sites that offer this kind of service. Just google 'companionship groups'
... (read in full...)
Everytime I turn around she needs money.
Q. I am currently in a LDR and it has become frustrating how financially dependent she has become. We were in this situation when we lived in the same town, however, I was living at home and didn't pay any bills while working. Now I am living on my own ...
A. 17 November 2016: "Sorry babe, i just dont have it"- no more explanation needed... (read in full...)
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