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How do I protect my children from the unwholesome things online?

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Question - (19 October 2015) 4 Answers - (Newest, 20 October 2015)
A female India age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi I am a 31 yr old mother. I have 5 yr old daughter and 3 yr old son. Now a days the children are tech savvy. Even the films, their promos show some porn like scenes, objectinable language, offensive actions like raising middle finger and sometimes even the positions of sex. I try to keep them away from this as this will surely affect their mind. But I am worried for them. As they will grow up the things may get worse. I don't want their childhood to be ruined. Children should not grow up immaturely. They should grow up naturally according to age. Plz tell me how to protect them? And how to stop all these shit???

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (20 October 2015):

Honeypie agony auntA 3 and a 5 year old should be on the Internet unsupervised. YOU can use various parental blocks for which websites you allow various users though - I know 10 years ago, my kids were having limited access and mostly only for games on CD/certain websites.

As for TV - limit the exposure to TV. YOU find shows that YOU find appropriate and then have a time limit. KIDS do NOT NEED to watch TV. I think the main reason my kids are very very well read is because I READ to them a lot. We had weekly trips to the library to exchange books.

Keep the remove out of reach. YOU turn the TV on, YOU select the channel. YOU decide how long they can watch.

YOU are in charge.

My kids are now in their teens (well 2 are, one is 11) and they have their own tablets and wi-fi. We turn their wi-fi access off, so they do NOT have constant access. We have a no tech at the dinner table rule as well as when we have guests over.

They also have a desk top to do school work on and again, limited time/access on that one too.

YOU should be in charge, to take charge.

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A female reader, Tottochan India +, writes (20 October 2015):

Hi,

I think that limiting use of the TV and computer will go a long way in sheltering your children from the sometimes harmful images that they could see on the screen.

As a parent in this day and age, welfare of your child also includes, as you have rightly said, keeping the child's innocence intact. These days children grow up too fast, and the images and messages that they are bombarded with from the hoardings and television screens play a big role in the same.

You have to have a set of rules in the house. I actually would recommend not allowing your 5 year old to turn on the TV unless you were there to supervise. Maybe only half an hour in the evening of her favourite cartoon show per day would be OK. Limit the time for TV, because watching too many fast moving images is not good for the development of a young child.

However, if you do not engage her attention properly, she will feel bored the rest of the time and might try and watch TV on her own. So to ensure that that is *not* the case, you should definitely have a *lot* of play time with both of your children. There should be a lot of physical activity and play time *outside* the house. That is always infinitely good for the children and will keep them from harmful TV/cell phone addictions.

It is really sad, but these days, too many children are addicted to the TV or to the cell phone or iPhone. Many parents, unfortunately, when they are not in a mood to engage with the children, give them these gadgets to play with, and then that can (and in many cases, has) become an addiction for the child.

So, in conclusion, my main points would be - limit TV time. No cell phone usage. Lots of play time and outdoor time. Being strict when need be, and playful when need be is key.

All the very best :)

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia +, writes (20 October 2015):

Ivyblue agony auntNothing is 100% fool proof I'm afraid. You could have house rules for internet usage to be in a common area, such as the family room only. Investigate parental control programs that limit and block certain content. There are ones on the market that are activated by certain words e.g. sex, porn, drugs,guns etc. Im not sure which ones rate the best. Same thing if they have mobile phones. I think you have to have rules and follow through on consequences if broken. I also make sure I get in touch with other parents prior to sleep overs and ask what supervision/rules they have in place in their home. There are plenty of other things to do other the surf the net so I inform them my child is not permitted to do so behind closed doors. My kids ok with saying that they are not allowed to when asked. I know this because Ive been told when they have been asked to play R rated games which their kids are permitted. So far so good-phew!

Maybe even ask what they think inappropriate content is.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (19 October 2015):

Tisha-1 agony auntLimit exposure to television. (I have to admit to having no idea what is running on television in India so I'm making assumptions here.) In the US, there are parental controls on the televisions that limit what channels can be watched without a password.

On the computer, tablets and other electronic devices, there are applications that limit access to the Internet. Net Nanny is one such application, there are many more, read the manuals and user tips for blocking access to inappropriate sites.

I have to admit to having a bit of a laugh, you wrote "and how to stop all these shit???" as the word 'shit' is considered an expletive to many. I remember my brother-in-law calling his parents after he punished his son for using a 'bad' word. He said to his father, "I don't know where the hell he learned that word!" I just about collapsed from silent laughter.

There are parenting blogs that could help you navigate the tricky world of protecting young children from things that shouldn't be seen too early.

There was a ratings system in place here in the US, G is okay for all audiences, PG is okay with parental consent, NC 18 (no children under 18) and XX (super explicit or violent).

Keep an eye on their friends and who they visit, and especially on your relatives who might be exposing them to inappropriate games or TV shows. One of my friends found her very young son was playing games intended for adults, with sexual content and a great deal of violence.

Have you considered reading some parental blogs for help in navigating this minefield?

I have to say that the children who live around me seem to have made it through childhood into college and university with no apparent problems because of TV or Internet. I think the children who are showing problems or issues are having them because of poor parenting choices or neglect.

I think you'll figure out how do this as long as you stay as tech savvy as they are. Surely your 3 year old isn't able to figure out your passwords?

Good luck and best wishes to you and your lovely young children!

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