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Should I stay in a job that makes me ill, or resign?

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Question - (25 October 2015) 7 Answers - (Newest, 10 November 2015)
A female Norway age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Should I stay at my current job despite it making me ill, or should I resign and apply for other jobs?

I work at a small organization, and I am working 80%, and I have a colleague who works 40%. I earn way too little in comparison with others in the same type of job, and my work environment has been shitty the past 4 months. This has resulted in me having belly aches, not being able to sleep, Ive gotten eczema and Im stressed/my mood has gotten poorer. I dread going to work.

I have a boss (leader of the board) who was driving us towards bankruptcy, and treated me poorly. After numerous complains to her, both written and oral, there was still no change. Examples being she leaves me waiting for her for hours, not calling when agreed to, not answering my questions, calling me and emailing me on my private numbers and on facebook over the weekend, blaming me for things she's done herself, yelling at me for just doing my job, and spending money we don't have on herself, and expecting me to sign off on the payments. She's been hiding payments to herself, and going directly against me on a number of times, making my job impossible.

I handed in my resignation on Friday because I am fed up with this woman ruining not only the organizations economy, but also taking away any pleasure there was to working there.

When the rest of the board found out, they asked her to resign or at least take a leave from the job for a certain period. The second in command in the board then asked me if I would stay in the job, and asked me what would be needed for me to withdraw my resignation.

I am torn about what to do. I want to ask a higher salary, and preferably work 100%, and also there needs to be a real change in how business is handled financially and also in regards to us who work there who have been treated poorly over years. Everyone who's worked there in the past stayed for no longer than a year (Ive been there just 7 months) because of being treated poorly. There's even a lawsuit going on because of this. I could go on and on about what my boss has done and all the unprofessional manners that exists, but it would be a book.

So to sum it up, should I stay at the job and ask for higher salary and try to implement changes at the office, or should I stick to my resignation and apply for other jobs? While applying for work I can get money from the government for being unemployed, so I will be able to pay my bills. It's not the financially smart move, because I would get very little and would not get anything for the first two months, so would have to use savings. But staying means I have to continue working in the office I have grown to resent, and I am not guaranteed there will be any real changes just because my boss has agreed to take a leave. My health and overall enjoyment of life would improve if I leave.

View related questions: bankrupt, facebook, money, my boss, period

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2015):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Oh yeah, and the leader of the board never resigned. It was all just BS. She kept on saying she would withdraw and everything, but then in reality she probably never intended to do it. I even have it in writing from the text she sent me, that she would withdraw from her position by taking a leave. She never did it, and now there's just this letter saying they wont implement any changes...

Well, sucks for whoever they fool into taking this job after me.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2015):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

So, new update. In my resignation that I handed in in October I wrote that I would be willing to work through December on the condition that I would be talking to the next in command at the board and not the leader, in addition to them taking work environment seriously. The response to this was that yes, I wouldn't have to deal with her and they'd take work environment seriously. I got this both orally and written in a text message to my private phone (!) that the leader of the board sent me herself...

Then they said they wanted me to withdraw my resignation as mentioned before, and I handed in my wishes for changes in order for me to stay. Then today, in november already, I get a letter saying they will not implement any of my requested changes and that I am expected to have my last day on the 30. of November!

I have one month notice, by Norwegian law, and the agreement, both written and from numerous conversations over the phone, was that I would not have to deal with the leader of the board and that I would work through December! So now they've given me 20 days of notice.

Im going to my union lawyer with this first thing tomorrow. Im also going to print out everything in case I need to prove this, because I have everything in writing even, I made sure to not delete anything... This is a nightmare.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2015):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you all for your answers. I thought about what you all said, and decided I would write down all my wishes, changes that I need in order to withdraw my resignation. I wrote exactly what I want. It turned out to be a 4 page long list with explanations and arguments to why these changes are needed.

I want everything documented and in writing with signatures as well, all the changes we agree upon and all the routines and regulations we who works there, and the board, need to follow (some regulations are already in place, just being ignored, some I need to write from scratch). I want them to sign off on all of it as documentation that it has been read and accepted. I also want to file reports if regulations have been broken so that the entire board will see it (this to keep some members of the board from violating the regulations and acting solo, which has been the cause of our financial predicament). I also asked for a higher salary!

I sent it in today. I don't know what they will think, but at least now I gave it a fair shot and hopefully they will implement some changes, if not all, so that at least the next person in the job will have an easier time. I have nothing to lose, seeing as I am willing to enter unemployment anyways.

While I was writing everything down, and when reading it over, I felt relief. I felt hopeful. Like I was finally getting it off my chest and putting it out there, and I felt hopeful for the job, because if they implement these changes the working conditions will actually be manageable and I imagine I could be happy working there.

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A female reader, 02DuszJ United Kingdom +, writes (26 October 2015):

02DuszJ agony auntI agree with Ivy blue... it's great for you that-

1. she's gone for a while, so you have some freedom and a BREAK

2. they've asked you to withdraw your resignation- this means they're worried about losing you- you may be indispensable... sounds like youre one of the best things going for that company!

Like IvyBlue said, youre in a position of power where you can negotiate more pay, better conditions and make it CLEAR what your grievances are- let them know the stres you've been under, so maybe if you get fairer manager, people will stop taking the piss and step their games up... you never know..

Honestly- I've been at jobs where I've left because it was making me unhappy- but I wasn't in your position where I could push for a change- it may be so tempting to just pack it in- BUT that would be a rash decision, and I really think you could end up regretting it- if things are ever going to change in your company, it's going to start now- rather than making a irrational decision out of emotion, ending up wasting your savings, struggling along- you never know you COULD end up with much more control over your role, nicer people and even end up on the top board...

So why not do what Ivy said- think carefully about what you want to change and make sure what you agree on is documented in your new contract... IF they don't agree to improve your quality of life then what have you lost? That just means it's NOT worth it and they're just sh**s... then I think it's not worth putting yourself through it-

- just try and think clearly- you're suffering now but things COULD get much better.. IF they agree to your demands... what have you got to lose?

Take care!

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia +, writes (26 October 2015):

Ivyblue agony auntPerhaps the tides may change now that she has gone. At least for you a well deserved sigh of relief. I think being asked exactly what it would take for you to withdraw your resignation is a very opportunistic position to be in as far as being able to present and negotiate changes and employment conditions. If it were me I would think long and hard about what it is exactly I would like to put forward and make a decision from there and have what ever changes and conditions written up in a contract of employment. Considering your health I would perhaps have a review time included. Best of luck in your decision

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2015):

You sound like you're done there. It's too little too late, and it should not have taken you resigning for them to try and then retain you and your loyalty.

I personally wouldn't stay. Once my mind is made up then I wouldn't be able to invest myself in the job any more, and a payrise wouldn't change your happiness and stress levels.

I have been there. I have been in a job that made me physically ill from the stress. I left and despite it being hard looking for another job and retraining to work in an entirely different field - it was the best decision. I wouldn't stay somewhere that has made you so unhappy and left it this late to try and keep you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2015):

I am in exactly the same situation, except I don't have a colleague to help I'm 100% doing everything :(

I'll be interested to see the answers as I am stuck too.

My advice to you is search for new jobs. Honestly your health isn't worth it. A job can be replaced, your health cannot.

I've been job hunting and have a few interviews lined up. I really hope I can get out of this situation too because It got so bad my health got worse and I was in bed for a week with a severe chest infection struggling to breathe. I was then pulled up about my sick leave and was warned I would not be paid for anymore sick days and they questioned how real they were. Even though I was dying in bed,

It's not worth staying :(

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