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... Send *vyblue a private message | | | *vyblue's profile:What qualifies me to help people…? Well to be honest I don't really know. I consider myself to be a life long learner therefore far from knowing everything. I believe the "outsider looking in" kind of advice can sometimes be the best because it can be the most eye opening and honest response that you will find.
Where do I live…? I sometimes wish I lived in the land of LaLa but for the time being I live in the Land Down Under.
My family makes me tick. They are my motivation for most things that I do choose to do.
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My boyfriend, his Mermaid, and me. Was he disrespectful to add a mermaid? How should I handle this?
Q. I will try to make this short and sweet. My boyfriend (we have been dating for a 1.5 year broke up a few times for 2 weeks). He is a big tattoo guy, He has a sleeve and half a sleeve on the other arm. I don't mind them, as I think they look nic...
A. 31 January 2016: Mermaids aren't real and neither is she. Think no more of it I say... (read in full...)
My wife of 22 years has no remorse over her cheating. Should we divorce, or do what we want?
Q. I just found out that my wife cheated on me and not the first time and she does not even feel remorse. We have been married for 22 years, both in our 40s. She looks amazing for her age. Men always liked her. we have a grown child and empty nesters....
A. 31 January 2016: Personally Id take what little respect that she has left you with and divorce. Plenty of things have changed, you no longer have a marriage and i think it is fair to say that ruins a lot of things, mainly your dignity. Unless you are planning and ... (read in full...)
Should I encourage him to take the job? Can our marriage survive as a LDR for 3 to 5 years?
Q. Dear Cupids, I am a 35 year old woman, married with no kids. I love my husband and I love our life together. Yesterday he told me that his firm is considering sending him in a remote country 10hrs away by plane and he would have to work there fo...
A. 31 January 2016: Do people have these type of relationships-yes. Do they work- some but not without a lot of commitment and trust while others simply don't. It is a very big ask of any relationship to live this way and one can not be all that surprised if things ... (read in full...)
I walked in on my wife while she was performing oral sex. Should I end the marriage?
Q. Me and my wife have been married for 12 years now.I never expected this from her.One day when I got home from work I walked in on her giving head to another man.He immediately ran out of the apartment,didn't even have time to get dressed.In our ...
A. 29 January 2016: Depends on how long you think you can tolerate re living what you saw. It's hardly something you can just will away and will remain in your 'ever present' for a fair while I would imagine. You see,IMHO, it is easier for a cheater to push things to ... (read in full...)
Why does an extra marital affair last 3 years and still going strong?
Q. What are the reasons an extra marital affair lasts going on 3 years?? Do most of them not end sooner? And realistically how much longer can it continue? Why does a married man stay this long with another woman? Surely it isn't a lapse in j...
A. 29 January 2016: Because the OW has not said- ENOUGH!... (read in full...)
I have feelings for her and don't want he to change
Q. Hello I have a friend that I have known since middle school, they are one of my closest friends and I have had feelings for them for a long time. The only problem is they want to have a sex change from a woman to a man. As much as I respect her I do ...
A. 29 January 2016: You cant.It is as simple as that. She identifies as a male. For her to make a decision for gender reassignment, based on society expectation and ignorance, is HUGE and no doubt been VERY difficult. So my tip is:
Accept the things you cannot chan... (read in full...)
Am I just a "hopeful idiot?"
Q. I am a 54 Year Old Man in good shape and I believe I am considered attractive. I had the good fortune to meet an amazing woman 2 and a half years ago through work. She is a waitress and she is 32 years old. I have made a point to keep in contact ...
A. 28 January 2016: Ask her out and see what happens. Id rather be a hopeful idiot than a "what if" one.... (read in full...)
My date was rude about his ex wife
Q. I have been talking to a guy online for a month. Yesterday he said his ex wife had put on a lot of weight after two children going up to a UK size 14 (12 USA) and that he struggled to find her attractive and things went downhill after that. I said ...
A. 27 January 2016: Must be hard for him being so perfect and all. A turn off is a turn off.For him it's weight and for you his attitude towards it. If it were me I'd still go to dinner and see how it pans out. Maybe a bit of foot in mouth and tacky but not so much ... (read in full...)
Having an affair with my friend's husband
Q. I m 22 years old n i love a guy he is 23 and married to my friend.we have known each other since 1 year ago before evwrything was ok but since 4-5months we are regularly talking with each other and meeting secretly.we both have feelings for each ...
A. 27 January 2016: She may be your friend but you can hardly say you are hers.What on earth are you doing and how you think this is going to end, not in your favour I would imagine. What is it that you are wanting to happen, a relationship? That you might get, just ... (read in full...)
He lied to me..he was cheating on his wife with me. Do I tell her?
Q. Dear Cupid I was dating a guy for a month, I was not attracted to him physically but sounded a nice decent person with a great job and everything. I asked him so many times whether he is single and he said he is and he never married since he...
A. 26 January 2016: I think she needs to be told. It is not your job to worry about whether or not she believes you. That is up to her to decide. You know he cheated- he knows he cheated and it's up to him to deal with any fall out. If she stays, she stays. If she ... (read in full...)
The widower I am dating removed his daughter in law's jeans and put pajamas on her because she was drunk. Was this inappropriate?
Q. I don't know if the following question has ever been presented in this forum before. I'm starting a relationship with another widower and heard this perplexing event from him. Many of us are snowed in this weekend with members of our families not ...
A. 25 January 2016: Go with your gut. Ordinarily I'd probably say it was a poor judgment call lacking common sense however taking the picture? That's all that bit too perverted for me and defiantly a red flag.... (read in full...)
My retaliation hook-up has been weighing me down with guilt. What should I do?
Q. my.boyfriend and I have been together almost 6 years. we have a 3 and 4 year old. when we first got together I had just gotten out of a bad relationship. in a bad place. anyways, he and my best friend had hooked up and I found out. I forgave ...
A. 25 January 2016: Hindsight is such a beautiful thing. Look, the way I see it given that he acted so appallingly, what's good for the goose is good for the gander. I wouldn't feel at all particularly guilty about what I had done,rather pissed at my self for stooping ... (read in full...)
I like a guy that I'm also friends with his ex
Q. I've been friends with this guy that I really like for ages, but I'm also friends with his ex and the three of us are in the same class, what should I do?...
A. 23 January 2016: I guess it depends how much you value friendships and just how ex is his ex, last week or last year? Time is a major factor here in addition to the circumstances like who broke up with who. Some people couldn't careless whereas others take a real ... (read in full...)
Is there an explanation for what occurred??
Q. Hi all I have a pretty weird question to ask, first of all I'll explain the situation: I was due on my period later this week so me and my boyfriend decided to have sex (our first time together and my first time in general) it hurt a little a...
A. 23 January 2016: Id say it was from breaking your Hymen. So women bleed a lot,some a little and some not enough to even notice. All are perfectly natural when having sex for the first time. I suppose for you it might be a bit embarrassing but really it is nothing ... (read in full...)
I am not sure I want to get married anymore but I am afraid to say so...
Q. Hi everyone. I am due to get married in August and I am no longer sure if its the right thing to do. Here is why: my fiance and I met when we were 20, and for the first year he behaved very disrespectfully, going out drinking and flirting with other ...
A. 22 January 2016: Have you thought about going to pre marriage counseling? It should be seen as a positive not a negative thing. From what you post I gather this is not quite yet a case of "if in doubt don't' because you have not yet really exhausted all avenues of ... (read in full...)
Should I be expected to do everything at the home because I don't work?
Q. So I live with my boyfriend in a small town, and since we are currently in a recession I don't have a job. I stay at home and make sure the animals are fed, cook meals, do laundry, ect. When he comes home supper is ready, we eat and he games out for ...
A. 20 January 2016: If you have done it once, then it's done and should remain that way for some time being it is just you and him. making a mess and expecting that you should clean up again is treating you like the maid. It's rude, disrespectful and down right lazy.... (read in full...)
I know girlfriend is cheating behind my back, why didn't she just let me go?
Q. I found a piece of paper with several male user names and names of certain free dating sites, on the bathroom floor, but however much she denied it - I know my girlfriends handwriting. It got the best of me and I became quite obsessive about finding ...
A. 20 January 2016: My guess is she keeps doing it because she craves the attention and probably thinks you took her back once before and will do again when she offers her lame excuses. Time to cut her loose I think she is untrustworthy... (read in full...)
Fiancé keeps nude and masturbation photos of previous ex's
Q. I feel silly and embarrassed for bringing this up, but it's been bothering me all day. My fiancé and I have been together for over 3 years and we are getting married in 6 months. For the most part, we have a good relationship, but an insecurity that ...
A. 19 January 2016: Whoa..back the bus up you feel as though you have done something wrong by snooping...honey he has been whacking off to porn of his exes and so called fiends tit movies. you are allowing yourself to be made a fool of by not confronting him. Even more ... (read in full...)
Using the word "love" in greeting, birthday, or holiday cards.
Q. Hi everyone, I'm curious what women think about this question. Now that the holidays are over Ive gone through all my Christmas cards again as I usually do before I put them away for the year. I keep every card I receive because if someone took ...
A. 19 January 2016: Yup me too. I just reserve that word for my nearest and dearest because I do actually love them, I'm not in love with them just love them because they are a positive addition of my personal being. ... (read in full...)
How do I get my guy to be less of a gentleman?
Q. Hi. I have met this great guy. As soon as I dated him, I could see that he was as good as he looks. I look at the way he is with his son and my family and could really love him.He's so sweet, but sort of shy with me. He kisses me and calls me baby. ...
A. 19 January 2016: Gentlemen are a dying breed-BELIEVE ME. My advice would be to be gracious and enjoy being with someone who treats you like a lady. So jealous lol.... (read in full...)
At what point do I worry about what my husband is doing on facebook?
Q. Hello this is my first time posting in this website, I enjoy reading all the responses and questions which come up in the site. I guess now it's my turn. :) I will try to keep a long story short. I am 29 years old and my husband is 37. We have b...
A. 19 January 2016: Wanting FB stardom really...Sorry but hubby sounds more like 17 than 37. Just not on. Ask him this would he rather stardom or a wife? His attitude as well as behaviour is enough for you to be worried NOW. He is flirty, disrespectful and fantasy ... (read in full...)
She wants everything. Should I walk?
Q. Been going out with a woman, for a month, she tells me if I want to continue to see her, I have to buy her gifts, cards, flowers, and take her out two times a week. Do I walk away? She said she will give me two days to make up my mind. I sure know ...
A. 19 January 2016: Wow, a bit too cheeky of her in my opinion. Save your time, cash and effort for someone less demanding. ... (read in full...)
Tried to help my friend but her mum's furious
Q. My best friend was dating this jerk and I told her she should dump him the first day they started dating. Two days later he dumped her. He said, "I know this will not work out. I'm still in love with... (who is another best friend who has a ...
A. 19 January 2016: Sweetie, online dating for teens probably is what it is ,however it is the type of online environment that sexual predators frequent so I can understand her mums concern/anger. Even adults get duped on these sites. Not much you can really do but sit ... (read in full...)
He's married but he still calls me
Q. I was seeing this guy for about 2 years to come to find out his married the horrible part is he met me two weeks after he got married and I didn't find out until my co-worker noticed him on Facebook which I don't have a account but how can a man ...
A. 18 January 2016: Next time Txt him this:
Do I need to ask you wife to tell you to stop txt'ing me?
Then delete his number.... (read in full...)
I'm scared to come out and say I am gay
Q. I am very confused about who I am. Give you a history, I grew up going to Church and had beliefs installed in me, I then strayed from the Church around 18 and started going to Gay night clubs and have loads of Gay friends, during that period I...
A. 18 January 2016: http://www.gaychurch.org/
Love who you are. The people that matter will love you back. ... (read in full...)
How can I ever recover from this broken marriage?
Q. Dear Cupid Members, My husband has left me for someone else and I am really struggling. My question is will I ever get over this, honestly? Or will it affect me long term. This happened a few months ago. I have two young children and I am ...
A. 18 January 2016: You already have some good advice, so I would just like to say this:
It is hardly worth taking to heart, laughable actually, the words that you have no dignity from the loose lips of a morally challenged home wrecker. It amazes me to think that... (read in full...)
Why is this woman in my BF's fitness class suddenly jealous of me?
Q. My BF is a group fitness instructor. I take his classes. I am not sure if is paranoia but why all of a sudden - within the last month or so - does this woman in who also takes his class seem very jealous of me and competitive around me? Sh...
A. 17 January 2016: Chances are she has found out that you and her new found eye candy are an item. Think of it this way, you have him she does not and her behaviour, if this is the issue, rather school yard and that from a grown woman embarrassing. Fob her off as ... (read in full...)
I lied to my dying friend and told him that I loved him. Now he's gone and I feel sick
Q. I slept with my friend because he was dying and because I felt guilty for leading him on. Each time after having sex he would cry and hug me and profess his love for me. He had a crush on me for years. During his last days I lied to him that I loved ...
A. 16 January 2016: Sorry for the loss of your friend. What you did, in my opinion, was to show great love for your friend, just a different love. Be kind to yourself. x... (read in full...)
Will having a pet interfere with my dating life?
Q. Hi all, this is not a relationship question as such but any advice would be appreciated. I have been single for just over a year now and living on my own for around 6 months. I have absolutely always wanted a dog or a cat (or even a rabbit), ...
A. 15 January 2016: Love me, love my dog. If having an animal was a deal breaker for a potential partner then I would assume that they were well... to put it frankly a dickhead! Animals are great companions, sometimes better than people lol. If is a puppy make sure you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps bringing up my ex
Q. My current boyfriend keeps bringing up my ex and it disturbs him immensely because initially when we got together when my boyfriend asked about my ex i said he was nice and I have good memories with him and don't want to say anything bad!this ...
A. 14 January 2016: Im sure he has had a past gf and it hasnt been all that bad either it's just that he seems all that bit too much insecure. Perhaps it would be helpful if you asked him exactly why it disturbs him so much and take it from there. Could be he is ... (read in full...)
My first date from hell! What shall I do next?
Q. MY FIRST DATE FROM HELL So I was chatting to a lady for a few weeks. I met up with her 30 miles away from where I live and we went for a meal. Everything was grate and we got on really well and had a laugh, we went to her local for a drink afte...
A. 14 January 2016: oh dear... um thats a bit embarrassing and weird. Personally I wouldn't give her another thought, I would expect if you were to meet up again it would be rather uncomfortable for both. She fluffed it, so be it
... (read in full...)
He's chatting on porn sites and I feel deceived
Q. I am in a very happy marriage (or so I thought) until I discovered my husband was secretly contacting other women on porn sites. He told me it was pure fantasy and meant nothing and that he would stop as I had got so upset. He does not see this...
A. 14 January 2016: BULL...shit it meant nothing! Just a typical response to being caught out, no different than a cheaters cover up line being " We're just friends". Would it mean nothing if you were to do the same ? Him saying he doesn't believe it is cheating in ... (read in full...)
Why would a married man keep in touch with his mistress while on vacation with his wife?
Q. Why does a married man who is on vacation with his wife keep in constant touch with his mistress while he is away? And tells her he misses her and can't wait to be with her again?...
A. 12 January 2016: Oh thats easy...he's a weasel ... (read in full...)
Was it the right decision? To not have child by him?
Q. Over 30 years ago I met a man who became my first love. Cutting a very long story short, we met through music. In the 80's he got a break and was signed to a major label. Our relationship suffered due to other women and the fact that my life was at ...
A. 11 January 2016: He said he would have maintained the child.
Perhaps I'm looking a bit too far into his comment but it does suggest to me that not only was he not then capable of being committed to you but would not of been that invested in a... (read in full...)
I'm scared to touch him. How do I get over this?
Q. After 6 months together, my boyfriend and I have already had sex, but I'm still afraid to touch his penis. He gently pushes me to try doing it, but doesn't force me. He will tell me I can't hurt him and he doesn't expect me to know exactly how to do ...
A. 31 December 2015: No nothing wrong with you love anything first time comes with a little apprehension. Your bf's correct unless you have an overly aggressive touch you wont hurt him.If anyone is going to be able to get you past this fear it will be with the guidance ... (read in full...)
Would it be vindictive to tell the wife that her husband is having an affair with my mother?
Q. This may seem like I'm being vindictive so I'd like to explain a bit of history behind my query... My mother is a toxic woman- my sister and I were mentally and physically abused by her as children leading us both to suffer with anxiety issues. ...
A. 30 December 2015: No... (read in full...)
I feel like she's put me on reserve while she dates someone else but I don't want to ruin things either. What can I do?
Q. Ok I'll keep this brief. I met a girl at the weekend in a bar and we chatted for a while and it was all great. I added her on Facebook and today I plucked up the courage to ask her to meet for a drink. Her friend and her both told me she was single ...
A. 30 December 2015: Do nothing but go about business as usual. At least she is a decent sort with a moral backbone which is better than being one of two men in a potential love triangle.I'm sure if you and her were having the conversation in person rather than via FB ... (read in full...)
I just caught my fiance, cheating on me numerous times with tgirls. What should I do?
Q. I just caught my fiance, cheating on me numerous times with tgirls, CD, etc. He appears to have a serious t fetish. He claims to love me and wants to marry me. However, when I confront him with the obvious evidence, he denies everything. The wier...
A. 29 December 2015: Are you feeling hurt because you can bet your bottom dollar that feeling is what you will be living with day in day out for as long as you are in denial and he not willing to come clean. He wont be running away if you are willing to permit his ... (read in full...)
How do I get rid of bad odor caused by too much sweating?
Q. Hi, I'm 16 and a girl. I've got a really bad problem. :( It's about sweating! I sweat a lot! The climate here is about 25'C on average. I can still handle the sweating part, but the odor not at all! I get it from my dad's side of the family...
A. 29 December 2015: Maybe try Rock Crystal deodorants. They have no smell but they seem to work quite well for me. They come in a spritzer type of spray and in solid block crystal which you need to dip in water before use. The block last me for about a year and the ... (read in full...)
What good excuse can I give my bf ?
Q. My bf and I have been dating for 6 months. I am on vacation right now with my mom, because she just retired. My bf didnt want me to go on vacation, but I had to because my mom had purchased the airplane tickets and everything before I even me...
A. 26 December 2015: Im pretty sure he wouln't be happy if you asked him to refund the cost to your mum in order to stay either. if you feel the need to start making excuses over something so trivial early on in the relationship its not off to a good start. You had a ... (read in full...)
My son lost his twin brother. Should we let him go to counselling on his own or as a family?
Q. I have 2 sons, 1 is always in my heart and the other i wish only to make his pain go away. Twin boys born 21st june 2001. We lost Matthew in February this year. Paul was, well he was inconsolable. In june he refused to celebrate his birthday, now he ...
A. 26 December 2015: Absolutely . Grief is a very personal journey and for all that are affected by such tragic circumstances need the comfort,safety and freedom to work through their pain in privacy. I can only Imagine being a twin would have an entire set of ... (read in full...)
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