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... Send *vyblue a private message | | | *vyblue's profile:What qualifies me to help people…? Well to be honest I don't really know. I consider myself to be a life long learner therefore far from knowing everything. I believe the "outsider looking in" kind of advice can sometimes be the best because it can be the most eye opening and honest response that you will find.
Where do I live…? I sometimes wish I lived in the land of LaLa but for the time being I live in the Land Down Under.
My family makes me tick. They are my motivation for most things that I do choose to do.
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What support and advice can I give to my friend who has been trying to break up with her married lover? He does not want to let her go.
Q. so my best friend is involved with this married man. she is very naive and had just spent the last 3 years healing from a very bad emotional abusive relationship. she joined the military as an officer and at her first duty station, she was paired w...
A. 13 March 2016: She knows he's no good, that feeling of sadness in her heart tells her that. You sound like a good friend, with good intentions but like the horse is to water-you can lead it there but you cant make it drink. Maybe,instead of trying to point out to ... (read in full...)
What support and advice can I give to my friend who has been trying to break up with her married lover? He does not want to let her go.
Q. so my best friend is involved with this married man. she is very naive and had just spent the last 3 years healing from a very bad emotional abusive relationship. she joined the military as an officer and at her first duty station, she was paired w...
A. 13 March 2016: Now that his wife knows about the affair and, as you put it, he has had no consequences, I feel as though this just empowers him to continue to emotional manipulate your friend. Given the repetitive nature of things I would be advising my friend to ... (read in full...)
Did my partner overreact with this or should I have just of said nothing?
Q. My partner hasn't got much money due to working part time hours and having to pay bills so when my birthday came up, he never got me anything which I understood due to his situation but he didn't mention to me that he wasn't going to get me ...
A. 13 March 2016: I think his reaction was a direct result form feeling embarrassed about his financial situation. But that,in my opinion, does not negate that he could have at least cooked you dinner or something. I have to be honest, I just don't get the A4 receipt ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about my ex she has contacted me out of the blue and I don't wish to have anything to do with her
Q. Hello everyone. How are you all? Okay, so I'm not sure how this goes? First time here. I really need some advice. I, like many others had everything. Cutting a long story short. I lost it all. I got involved with a lady I should never ...
A. 11 March 2016: Personally I would probably start with my response to her being immediately blocking her. Then ask that your friends block her as well. Should she find another way to then find you, report her to the site itself. Hopefully not, but if she doesn't ... (read in full...)
How important is appreciation in the first couple dates?
Q. Just wondering... I'm sure it's important, but I wonder to what extent. I'm not the kind of person who says thank you for every little thing... I'm not sure why. I had an ex after dating for a few years tell me I didn't really say thank you when h...
A. 11 March 2016: I think it is important not only in the first couple of dates but throughout a relationship in general. Not continuing to make the effort to show a little appreciation can turn in to feeling that you are being taken for granted. Not being ... (read in full...)
How to ask out a guy when I'm scared he'll say no and I'll look stupid
Q. I've started an adults course at college one day a week and I have fallen for my teacher. We are both in our late 20's and we get on well but I don't want to do anything while he is still my teacher. The course finishes in a month and the whole ...
A. 9 March 2016: My advice would be to keep it cool and casual. For the moment, my advice would be to see how things go at the celebration drinks. If all goes well and you get a good vibe, then simply offer your number and say that it would be good to catch up then ... (read in full...)
My ex keeps asking me about other guys that I meet! It’s confusing!
Q. Really need help please!! my ex boyfriend broke up with me about 3 months ago. he first said the reason why was because he didn't love me anymore, but then he gave other reasons saying he wasn't ready, he was also telling his family different reason ...
A. 9 March 2016: Obviously you cant be friends with this dude when it causes you so much confusion. So why not try and un complicate things for yourself. That would mean not entertaining his questions as to whom,where , why and what you are doing. The more you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend showed up with scratch marks after the weekend. Is this enough evidence to leave him?
Q. Please help. It will be 3 years in June I have been with my boyfriend. Yesterday I noticed a few horizontal scratch marks above his stomach. They were not there on Friday when I last saw him but they were there the following Monday. I did not...
A. 9 March 2016: Trust ,trust, trust- Let me tell you a little thing about trust. I trusted my ex partner of 13 years wholly and solely. Why, because he was my partner, lover,best friend, comrade in good times and bad and father of my child. That was until I found ... (read in full...)
I’m troubled by my boyfriend’s sexual past! Please help.
Q. Hi Dear Cupid community, I've been dating a wonderful guy for about 9 months. But for nearly 6 months, I've been struggling to get over his sexual past. We briefly discussed our sexual pasts in the beginning of the relationship and I mentioned that ...
A. 9 March 2016: I agree with janniepeg, that casual sex is more about adventure rather than a question of morality. Other than that, I think you have some valid points of concern though. Having multiple partners is not quite the same as what you do with them and to ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to live happily ever after knowing that my husband occasionally sleeps with other women on side?
Q. Is it possible to live happily ever after knowing that husband sleeps with other women on side occasionally(paid sex with high end escort/companions)? He always use protection and is very hygienic. I've got him n myself tested few yrs ago when I i...
A. 8 March 2016: I think what he appreciates most is the fact that he has the perfect wife, that is one willing to turn a blind eye to him whore'n round. I just don't understand how you or any other woman, can be happy knowing that sometime, whether is was 5 ... (read in full...)
I'm speechless after my husband's reaction to my wearing my mother's ring!
Q. Hello! My mom, who was my best friend and to whom I had the closest relationship you could possibly imagine, passed away 5 years ago. A few days ago my dad gave me her engagent ring telling me she has always wanted me to have it. So- I have been ...
A. 8 March 2016: Wow what an outburst! If he felt so strongly your finger being exclusive to the relationship then stop being a Cry Baby Su and put a bloody ring on it, he has had 3 years for Pete sake. Never would I not wear the ring but I would be happy to wear it ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my new girlfriend I had a one-night stand with her sister before we met?
Q. I recently started going out with this girl. She’s beautiful, smart, kind and funny. Pretty much everything I could ask for in a girl. The only problem? I’ve slept with her sister. I’m 23 and she’s 22. We’ve been going out for 3 weeks now. The o...
A. 8 March 2016: Ok why not first be 100% sure that it is her sister. When you meet her Im sure you'll know and take it from there. No point if you tell her then have to say "oops..made a mistake, sorry bout that love". if you are absolutely sure, then I think it ... (read in full...)
I’m with the wrong sister! I need advice!
Q. Hello!My name is Cameron and I'm 20.I desperately need some help because I have no idea how to deal with the situation that I'm in right now. My ex gf Natasha(25) and I dated for nearly a year.Prior to getting together we were really good frie...
A. 8 March 2016: My advice would be to accept the chances of you redeeming yourself with Natasha are probably zilch! Sleeping with a best friend is bad enough but a sister...personally I think that should be added to the list of 10 commandments. Thou shall not sleep ... (read in full...)
My birthday was ignored yet again. Does my husband not respect me enough?
Q. Background is that during my Childhood, my birthdays were never celebrated, presents werent brought and it was generally glossed over. My 2 younger siblings, it was a big deal, parties every year, presents, cake, the whole 9 yards. I was oldest of ...
A. 7 March 2016: A belated "Happy Birthday' to you. Thats just plain old lazy and mean spirited of him, especially, but not too flash of an attitude from friends either. In fact hurtful. Personally I'd be pulling him up on it, not for the purpose of picking a fight, ... (read in full...)
I'm unable to forget my married friend and I unsure of what to do
Q. I'm confused , please help me out. I have been married for 8 years, but I moved out to my parents place within a year an half with my son due to history of domestic violence. I have not been in touch with my husband but we stay married stil...
A. 6 March 2016: Yar well jacking of for each other IS cheating. Sugarcoat it in any flavour you wish but thats what it is... Your friend is in capable of being all that a husband is supposed to be and its all a bit too late for either of you to be whipping out a ... (read in full...)
A young pretty woman gets special attention whenever she has a maintenance problem. Do I tell his wife about this? How do I address it?
Q. I work as an maintenance assistant for a local housing association. In the office we deal with tenants on daily basis for repairs. Most of them get turned away unless it is serious or have to wait a few days for the repair. However there is a female ...
A. 5 March 2016: I take it you have a boss?, if so let them know what has been going on. if he's shagging her and he loses his job thats between him, her and his wife when she finds out but as for the rest, thats simply not fair that her needs take priority over ... (read in full...)
Will he go through with his secret online dating thing, and meet up with them? Should I leave him?
Q. Hey, I'm in a bad situation at the moment and don't know what to do. Ok, so my partner is VERY secretive about his laptop and phone(yet expects my codes!) and today he went out, anyway, I decided to do something wrong, I know, I opened his lap...
A. 5 March 2016: Probably, what makes you think he wont? hardly sounds like much of a catch does he. Stay and I think you will be making a bigger fool of yourself than he is doing right now. ... (read in full...)
Is 4 months of dating too soon to ask her to marry me?
Q. I am in love with my girlfriend.. I can't imagine life without her. She is everything I could have ever asked for and more. We have only been dating 4 months but it seems like longer. We have known each other for 4 years. I know she is the girl for ...
A. 4 March 2016: Depends I suppose. Everyone is different. My take on it is, if you feel that she is the ONE is there any harm in waiting a bit longer. I mean where is she going if things are going good. You dont want it to be a case of her thinking too much too ... (read in full...)
How do I make this threesome idea happen?
Q. I want have a threesome with my wife and friend. the game plan is they should not know each other so I want to blind fold them and to convince them for this and then the game goes on.... suggest me how to make this wonderful...!?...
A. 2 March 2016: Slippery, slippery slope. But I guess you are already well aware of that, so if you are still wanting to go ahead- First you need to ask your wife and second- leave the friend out of it because there is not enough degrees of emotional separation. If ... (read in full...)
I am on the verge of being divorced over a dog! Dog left me for the dog!
Q. My husband and I have been together for 2.5 years and married for 5 months. Our relationship was picture perfect. No arguments, completely devoted to each other etc. Not to mention he stepped up and has been a father to my 2 kids from a previous ...
A. 2 March 2016: Be warned: it contains horrific injuries ... (read in full...)
I am on the verge of being divorced over a dog! Dog left me for the dog!
Q. My husband and I have been together for 2.5 years and married for 5 months. Our relationship was picture perfect. No arguments, completely devoted to each other etc. Not to mention he stepped up and has been a father to my 2 kids from a previous ...
A. 2 March 2016: http://fourleggedfriendsandenemies.blogspot.com.au/2013/07/bull-mastiff-dog-attack-leaves-boy-5.html
Sit down hubby and show him this. Prevention is better than cure. He wants the dog, he doesn't need it. If he has any sense of where you are comi... (read in full...)
Should I ask her to delete my contact information from her cell phone? Or if I ask her that I will show that I'm hurt?
Q. I used to go out with this girl, I was in love with her, hut she wasn't into me. One night we ended on her kitchen floor and I started caressing her hair and arm, i realized she got excited when I was doing that but she turned me down at that spot. ...
A. 1 March 2016: I wouldn't worry about asking her to do that . Instead, Next time, if there is a next time and depending on the content of the txt, if it is a question similar to the flower one a simple no and leave it at that. If it is in a more casual friendly ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants to continue being friends with her but it upsets me
Q. I'm looking for pretty open minded advice here so bare with me lol. My boyfriend and I were together for about 4 years. We had a great relationship but towards the end we had some difficulties outside of our relationship that we couldn't really ...
A. 1 March 2016: Absolutely girlfriend...I agree it is about respect,loyalty and real commitment,not only you as an individual but the relationship as a whole,plain and simple. If he is at all serious then saying goodbye should come easy. She is now an ex and should ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling guilt and shame about meeting up with my ex when my now fiance and I were first dating
Q. Hi, Hope you can help with a dilemma. I met a great guy 18 months ago and now we are engaged. Our first two weeks were strange though. He was convinced it was the real deal me less so. Two weeks later we split before getting back togeth...
A. 1 March 2016: No offence but you sound like your are your own worst enemy. Your fiancee is cool as should you be then. Be a bit different if you two were in a committed relationship but lets face it, that was not the case back then. He is probably happy that you ... (read in full...)
Dating a 37 year old guy. How can I tell him to use anti- wrinkle cream in a nice way?
Q. So my boyfriend is 37, happy guy and it takes much to irritate him. Though he doesn't look far older than his age, his face wrinkles a lot especially when he smiles. I can't change this fact but it might at least be lessened if he uses moisturi...
A. 28 February 2016: What would your reaction be if he was to suggest you needed to be using it :)? I mean, even nicely put it comes across a bit insulting. Be grateful you have a bf that smiles enough to have them. ... (read in full...)
Am I a bad person, for now just wanting to have casual sex since a breakup?
Q. I have recently been dumped by my boyfriend of three years and I'm relieved about it as he didn't treat me very well and did some things that were awful by anyone's standards. But I'm having a bit of a freak out thinking I will always just give ...
A. 27 February 2016: Of course not. Casual sex doesn't have to mean lots of different partners, instead just one or two with a no strings attached policy. Unless you are going to run around telling every Tom, Dick and Harry about your sexual rendezvous then I wouldn't ... (read in full...)
Should I continue a relationship with someone who doesn't want children?
Q. I am currently at crossroads in my life. I found a guy I truly love and loves me for who I am. We seem to be made for each other. In fact, I feel that we are soul mates if not for one terrible flaw in him. He hates children! I have seen the wa...
A. 27 February 2016: I don't think it's fair to be calling him a man child. He has been honest with you to the point of thinking it better to end the relationship for you to be able to eventually get what you so desire. That takes a lot of maturity,sensibility and love. ... (read in full...)
I made an awful first impression, how can I 'correct' it?
Q. Hi i need advice on a dating matter . i am an extremely shy person and i went on a date with a wonderful guy the problem is i drank before meeting him it gave me too much confidence i know how to handle my drink but wanted rid of all the nerves. ...
A. 27 February 2016: I don't think you can do anything more than what you have already done, that is explaining yourself once already. Besides that,there could be a number of reasons he hasn't txt back yet. Men also adhere to dating, lets say etiquette, He might be ... (read in full...)
Why why do girls dump guys who treat a girl like an angel?
Q. I wonder why ladies, I never hear a woman, talk about them dumping a nice guy, on here. I here all the time,How they get hurt, by the guy who treated them bad. It does happen all the time, a guy treats a woman fantastic. Then a woman, breaks t...
A. 27 February 2016: Nothing like trying to tame the wild beast, wanting to be the 'one' that changed his wicked ways or sometimes,just sometimes, too nice can be too less of a challenge to feel there is a little guts in the relationship. Some women may find being ... (read in full...)
I'm appalled at his disrespect, but what can I do? Is it time to breakup?
Q. My partner of 3 years goes out each thursday night with friends, this is usually fine but i am at work on a friday so do prefer him not to come in too late. He usually comes in about 1am. Weve had a number of arguments about this mainly because ...
A. 26 February 2016: It is not an unreasonable request to expect him to keep it down on his arrival. He owes it too you to listen, he should see just how sad and upset his blatant disrespect has caused you. Up to you if you decide to stay or end things but if there ... (read in full...)
A is a long term good friend. How can I convince my mum to let A spend the night?
Q. So, here's the deal. I have a good friend, let's call him A. Anyway, ever since I was little, I've always preferred hanging out with boys. But now that I'm older, I can't have a sleepover or anything. I wouldn't want to do anything sexual, and ...
A. 26 February 2016: In stead of a sleep over, why not just a movie night and his parents come pick him up? It's cool to be comfortable enough to have friendships with the opposite sex but I would have to draw the line at sleeping over. Not just yet. The way I see it, ... (read in full...)
A is a long term good friend. How can I convince my mum to let A spend the night?
Q. So, here's the deal. I have a good friend, let's call him A. Anyway, ever since I was little, I've always preferred hanging out with boys. But now that I'm older, I can't have a sleepover or anything. I wouldn't want to do anything sexual, and ...
A. 26 February 2016: In stead of a sleep over, why not just a movie night and his parents come pick him up? It's cool to be comfortable enough to have friendships with the opposite sex but I would have to draw the line at sleeping over. Not just yet. The way I see it, ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is unhappy that I'm watching porn so she retaliated by posting photos of herself on the internet!
Q. Ok I'll get straight to the point. Like most women my girlfriend hates porn. I told her when we got together that I didn't like it either, but recently she caught me watching it. We've now been together for 3 years. Needless to say she got really ...
A. 26 February 2016: Like she needs other men to look at her to make her feel wanted when surely me wanting her should be enough?
I dont mean to rag on you but, Really, I mean really...Come on...listen to what you are saying!!!!
She doesnt need other men to loo... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is unhappy that I'm watching porn so she retaliated by posting photos of herself on the internet!
Q. Ok I'll get straight to the point. Like most women my girlfriend hates porn. I told her when we got together that I didn't like it either, but recently she caught me watching it. We've now been together for 3 years. Needless to say she got really ...
A. 26 February 2016: Like she needs other men to look at her to make her feel wanted when surely me wanting her should be enough?
I dont mean to rag on you but, Really, I mean really...Come on...listen to what you are saying!!!!
She doesnt need other men to loo... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is unhappy that I'm watching porn so she retaliated by posting photos of herself on the internet!
Q. Ok I'll get straight to the point. Like most women my girlfriend hates porn. I told her when we got together that I didn't like it either, but recently she caught me watching it. We've now been together for 3 years. Needless to say she got really ...
A. 26 February 2016: Like she needs other men to look at her to make her feel wanted when surely me wanting her should be enough?
I dont mean to rag on you but, Really, I mean really...Come on...listen to what you are saying!!!!
She doesnt need other men to loo... (read in full...)
How Can I win her back in one weekend?
Q. How soon do you spend a whole weekend with your ex girlfriend? It's been a week and another week before that we weren't speaking after we argued. She dumped me, we start talking again, taking trips down memory lane, saying the I miss and love yo...
A. 26 February 2016: Kinda weird still going I think. It is too much too soon given you are still hoping and she is in the friend zone. Who paid for the weekend anyway, you, her or did you go dutch? The reason I ask is how do you know she is just going to get what she ... (read in full...)
Should I have sex with him finally?
Q. There's this guy who knows how to flirt really well with women...I don't think he's ever cheated, or that he's really a player, but he's good with getting women comfortable with him. So like everyone else I think I may be really starting to like...
A. 26 February 2016: Men and women alike, will do and say almost anything to get what they want. So of course there is the risk of, as you put it, being a plump and dump. It's just the risk you run unfortunately. It's early days, moments rather, so why not see it as ... (read in full...)
How do I contact this married man to tell him I'm pregnant? I want him to help support me!
Q. Dear Cupid I'm the op of this post "He lied to me..he was cheating on his wife with me. Do I tell her?", which I posted a month back. I found out that I'm pregnant few days back and I'm positive he is the father since I didn't have sex with an...
A. 26 February 2016: What a shit full situation you find yourself in. Money aside, do you want to have this man play part in your child life? Not wanting to will be his shame not yours. You cant make someone do the right thing or force them to be a good parent. Not ... (read in full...)
I am on the verge of being divorced over a dog! Dog left me for the dog!
Q. My husband and I have been together for 2.5 years and married for 5 months. Our relationship was picture perfect. No arguments, completely devoted to each other etc. Not to mention he stepped up and has been a father to my 2 kids from a previous ...
A. 26 February 2016: Hope your little boy is ok, it may not have hurt him that much but Im sure it scared him well enough. Hope you are ok too because you posted on here for some advice and have been unleashed upon and Im not even sure why. You got the dog, he got ... (read in full...)
The student I fancy has a crush on me. Could I date him after he finishes or is it just too creepy?
Q. Hello. I am a 34 yrs old college teacher. There is this 20yr old student I fancy. Nothing ever ever happened. I could of course tell he fancied me a lot and the other day he finally came on to me and told me he has a huge crush on me. He will finish ...
A. 25 February 2016: Cant see why you cant, and being that you are both consenting adults I can see how it is anyones business any way. I agree, keep things all above board till he finishes that way you can say with conviction there was no conflict of interest should ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is unhappy that I'm watching porn so she retaliated by posting photos of herself on the internet!
Q. Ok I'll get straight to the point. Like most women my girlfriend hates porn. I told her when we got together that I didn't like it either, but recently she caught me watching it. We've now been together for 3 years. Needless to say she got really ...
A. 24 February 2016: Sorry mate but this reads like " Freaky Friday" as in now you know how it feels to be in the skin of another. Her pain is now your pain. If you are adamant that porn will continue to be the third person in the relationship then perhaps it's for the ... (read in full...)
What are my options? I can't tell my gf because I don't want to break up with her
Q. Hi, so I’m in love with girl that I’ve been with for 4 years, were 20 years old and we’ve been living together in our own flat for the last two years. She’s an orphan and has little contact with her family and does not have a lot of friends. She’s ...
A. 23 February 2016: Ok... You stuffed up, crossed the line, so not to let you off the hook entirely I shall say 'Dumb arse'. Come clean I say, tough yes but good for a few reasons. The first, you get let go of the guilt. Second get in first and save yourself a whole ... (read in full...)
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