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... Send *vyblue a private message | | | *vyblue's profile:What qualifies me to help people…? Well to be honest I don't really know. I consider myself to be a life long learner therefore far from knowing everything. I believe the "outsider looking in" kind of advice can sometimes be the best because it can be the most eye opening and honest response that you will find.
Where do I live…? I sometimes wish I lived in the land of LaLa but for the time being I live in the Land Down Under.
My family makes me tick. They are my motivation for most things that I do choose to do.
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What to do? My boyfriend will not stop talking about the past
Q. My bf and I are moving in soon, but their is one big issue between us. During our time we've dated until now recently, he was the one who drove all the time to pick and drop me up at my home. I don't have my own car. I rely on my mother to allow me...
A. 27 November 2015: Maybe acknowledge that it must of been frustrating for him to have to travel so much however the circumstances were a bit out of your control, unlike him being able to control what comes out his mouth. Be honest and ask what it is that he is hoping ... (read in full...)
Men, can you be turned off a woman and lose attraction, based on one thing she said ?
Q. Hello! There's a man that i serve every day at work, I really like him, and he seems to like me too- we just smile and sort of gaze at each other, even when we're not saying anything, and he does seem shy and quite nervous but tries to initiat...
A. 27 November 2015: If he is, think yourself lucky because one little swear word is bugger all. Could you imagine having a bf with such hight standards. Too hard I would think. Maybe he's on leave or sick. ... (read in full...)
Why do I stay when he never uses my name?
Q. Hi everyone I just need a bit of advice. I have been going with my boyfriend for about 2 years. He secretly goes dancing without me although he knows I would love to go too, and he never calls me by my name although I ask him if he can remember ...
A. 27 November 2015: I think he is too older leopard to be changing his spots. In order to break out of the cycle you find yourself in, I think it is very important to acknowledge that you could be part of the problem. Would it be fair to say in response to the bit in ... (read in full...)
How can I get past the fact that I'm not tall, improve my confidence and successfully date women?
Q. Ashamed to be a short man. I don't feel like I have the same potential as a taller man. Anything positive that I do would be much better if done by a taller man. I am also the shortest guy in my family and every time I meet a relative, family friend ...
A. 25 November 2015: Short men are considered "lesser males" ...What a load of crap! that is just as insulting and stupid as saying a woman is less of a woman having a mastectomy. Not a primary source of information I would be taking any notice of. I read that dating a ... (read in full...)
Is it selfish that I don't want my Bf's sons living with us?
Q. I need Help.. I'm 22 years old and my boyfriend is 35, he has 2 kids 18 and 13 both boys. I am currently 3 months pregnant and couldn't be any happier I'm so excited for my baby we both are, after months of waiting we finally are getting our new ...
A. 24 November 2015: Yes you are. Sorry. Your one and only priority is your son, does that parental responsibility or love not extend for your bf? When it comes to children, plans change and being flexible enough to accommodate to his children is what happens when you ... (read in full...)
I have a lesbian crush on my boss. Should I tell her?
Q. I have a lesbian crush on my boss. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of three years after coming out as gay, so she does know I'm into women. I have a feeling she may be into women as well, she has never spoken of a boyfriend and in past ...
A. 24 November 2015: My advice would be don't go there sister! Reason 1: intimate relationships between bosses and employees don't always end well, usually for the employee and Reason 2: making a move without knowing for sure what her sexual preference could make for ... (read in full...)
I feel he may be simply taking advantage of my generosity, how do I ask him?
Q. I am 55, my partner 28...I feel he may be simply taking advantage of my generosity until he has gained what he wants and will then disappear. How can I know? How can I ask him this very difficult question?...
A. 24 November 2015: stop being so generous and see how if there is a change in attitude?... (read in full...)
We spent a night cuddling and tickling and watching videos, but I just like him as a friend! What do I do?
Q. Ok so the other night I crashed on a friends couch because I was pretty drunk but after I'd gotten ready and into a sleeping bag my friend came back haven met another of our male friends and he was also going to be crashing in the living room but ...
A. 24 November 2015: You don't do anything other than not getting half naked in a sleeping bag with him again. He is a sleaze..He openly admits seeing someone but carries on like that. Lucky you don't like him hardly a trust worthy sort. ... (read in full...)
I don't entirely trust their friendship
Q. I have been seeing a guy for a few weeks. I really like him but I am not sure about his best friend who is female. She is bipolar and seems to rely on him a lot as her husband is not a great communicator. They have known each other 20 years and he ...
A. 21 November 2015: My best 100% platonic friend of nearly 10 years was male and yes he was like my brother. People can and do have these kind of relationships. My advice would be to meet her and see for yourself. If there is anything for you to be doubtful about Im ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is on a cruise with his family and hasn't contacted me in two days
Q. My boyfriend went on a cruise with his family. He texted me to tell me he was leaving to go to the ship but I have not heard from him since. It's been two days. It doesn't seem like him not to contact me. He has been on a cruise with his family ...
A. 21 November 2015: People I sent txt messages to while I was on board a cruise received them 4 days later. Sending an email cost a small fortune and as for cell reception he'd probably have more luck contacting you sending a message in a bottle. No need to panic.... (read in full...)
He's being distant and going to spend the night at a female friends that he's slept with before. Should I worry?
Q. me and my boyfriend have been together a month now, before that we were good friends. It took him a week or so to come round to the idea of us being together but we made it official and things were good, up until last week. normally we would make ...
A. 20 November 2015: Would he trust you,sorry maybe I should say like you, sleeping over some guys house that you had previously had sex with? The reason I would assume he is being distant atm is because he knows its wrong and doesnt want to be having to deal with you ... (read in full...)
She's dating me but seeing 2 other guys for just sex
Q. So, I have been seeing a lovely woman for about a month. We get on extremely well and have alot of fun,we have tons in common and love nearby. We laugh like crazy and there's never a dull moment or awkward silences. She texts me every day from ...
A. 20 November 2015: I don't think you can mistrust someone who has been honest about her intention and current sexual relationships ? More that you just don't like it; and rightly so I wouldn't either.If her sleeping with two different guys is a turn off, then it's a ... (read in full...)
How dare my husband ask for a threesome after he had an affair!
Q. Hi all, earlier this year I found out my husband had an affair. We are working it out, however, my husband has asked me to have a threesome. I feel like it's a common fantasy for men but at this time of working things out, I don't know what to ...
A. 20 November 2015: Wow your husband has more balls than a sport store. I have to say that would have to be THE most insulting request of a cheating spouse that I have ever read on DC! Hardly sounds as though he is serious about working on the damage caused by his ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants a tattoo of her dead ex!
Q. How should I feel and/or respond to my girlfriend asking about her wanting a tattoo to remember her dead ex? We have been dating for almost 2 years. I do love her. She had known this ex for a long time before me and describes him as a dear friend. ...
A. 19 November 2015: Hopefully this is just a knee jerk reaction due to grief but I have to agree with you, I would not be supportive of such a 'tribute' if I were in the same situation. I cant see how it would be considered to be an honourable thing to do for him ... (read in full...)
How does one nicely tell a opposite gender friend you don't want to hang out anymore? Or is there no way to do so?
Q. Hello aunts and uncles, I need some help here regarding a female Friend who has been asking my Boyfriend out. My Boyfriend and I discuss about boundaries with opposite gender friends and we both agree hanging out one on one with the opposite gender ...
A. 19 November 2015: sorry I meant to say : socialising without partners is something we agreed NOT doing... (read in full...)
How does one nicely tell a opposite gender friend you don't want to hang out anymore? Or is there no way to do so?
Q. Hello aunts and uncles, I need some help here regarding a female Friend who has been asking my Boyfriend out. My Boyfriend and I discuss about boundaries with opposite gender friends and we both agree hanging out one on one with the opposite gender ...
A. 19 November 2015: Firstly I think it needs to come from your bf and secondly I think a quick and simple phone call should do it. Perhaps a soft approach with thank you for the invites however socialising without partners is something we agreed on and now that you ... (read in full...)
Should I pay an escort to go on a date with me?
Q. I'm a male virgin who's never been on a date or kissed a girl ever. I live alone. I have a big collection of films and film memorabilia. I'm very shy. Partially due to my obesity, and that lots of girls in high school and college would say I was ...
A. 18 November 2015: I think the money would be better put to use by getting into shape. Not for the purpose of catching a single lady but for your health and self esteem. Is that why you are shy, because you are fearful of people judging you on how you look? Would you ... (read in full...)
I'm an unhappy man, it's like I don't exist anymore for her!
Q. How you.I've been in love with my Girlfriend for 11yers now and we both 24years.after frst time she cheated on me she change,even simple things lik taking a walk or just seat together and talk as couple it does nt happen any more.and I miss her evry ...
A. 18 November 2015: Sounds like you are being taken for granted to some degree. What I mean by that is when you say she needs you around her but makes not effort she just finds comfort in knowing that you are a constant presence and thats it. For Some people it is ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lives with his child's mother!
Q. To begin, my boyfriend and I have not been together long. I really care about him! I have two children and at first I thought he only had one. When we are together it's great and when we are not together things are also great. He will spend 95% of ...
A. 18 November 2015: It looks horrible because it IS HORRIBLE, His behaviour is HORRIBLE which is making you feel HORRIBLE. My advice is cut him loose already, too much baggage that you do know about and too much baggage that you dont. Go with your gut because it is ... (read in full...)
His new girlfriend is making trouble for me
Q. When I broke up with my ex boyfriend in the summer, totally unintentionally I ended up having a short of fling with a guy who I had known for a while. I hadn't wanted a relationship but we went out with a group of friends and it went from there. We ...
A. 15 November 2015: With regards to the silly cow sending you annotated pictures perhaps you could nip it in the bud with a response like...
" Yes that could have been me...if thats what I had wanted, so how about you think yourself as lucky that I didnt want a rela... (read in full...)
He cheated. What do I say now?
Q. Bombshell dropped on me tonight. This woman I don't know facebooked me and eventually came out to confess she had slept with my boyfriend. I confronted him over the phone and he admitted he 'messed up' once. That he was not feeling good or ...
A. 12 November 2015: So sorry you are having to go through this, it hurts I KNOW. You know what, this is HIS SHAME and embarrassment not yours. If any one should be feeling like an arse it is him because it was him that sat across from you and WAS COWARD ENOUGH not to ... (read in full...)
Is it OK to get back in contact with my ex - and offer to just be friends?
Q. I'm happy in my relationship now but miss my ex, as a person, not who I want to get back with. Is it OK to get back in contact to be friends or not? He's the only other person I've been in love with and after 3 years I still can't get him out of m...
A. 11 November 2015: Hi misspurple. If there is more to the story than what you choose to post then you have to be satisfied with the response you receive. People can only best give advice on the information you have given. In defence of the aunts and uncles I don't ... (read in full...)
How to tell my Mum by Boyfriend is Bi?
Q. There's a guy I've known for a year from Glasgow who I got introduced to at a mate's birthday party... I'd like to think we're good mates, but we do have a friends with benefits relationship... Only problem is, it was one of his mate's birthday'...
A. 11 November 2015: Why do you have to tell her anything? I cant see how it would be any of her concern anyway. You are ok with it and that is all that matters.... (read in full...)
My daughter's mother needs a place to stay but g/f won't like it. Should I just sneak her in and out?
Q. My daughter's mother just got out of jail/rehab, very suddenly and unexpectedly. Apparently she has no place to go, and misses her daughter so she asked to move in with me and my gf, temporarily (a few months) to get back on her feet. We do have ...
A. 9 November 2015: Don't be at all surprised if you,your ex and daughter get kicked out on your arse if you choose to go ahead with such a silly plan. You have no rights what sever to be going to such lengths in someone else's property let alone deceiving your spouse ... (read in full...)
Is it OK to get back in contact with my ex - and offer to just be friends?
Q. I'm happy in my relationship now but miss my ex, as a person, not who I want to get back with. Is it OK to get back in contact to be friends or not? He's the only other person I've been in love with and after 3 years I still can't get him out of m...
A. 7 November 2015: no
... (read in full...)
It started so well. We shared a first kiss. How can I get her to understand how much I care about her?
Q. me and my gf have been going out for about to be 5 months and from day 1 i would make her so happy i was also her first kiss it happened at a dance and since then i have tried to kiss her and make her happy again but she wont crack, and in my heart...
A. 5 November 2015: Its real nice to find someone that you care about and want to make happy. You can still do that without having to do all the kissing. yes I know its fun and gives you butterflies but maybe she is just not as ready for all that kind of stuff like you ... (read in full...)
My husband just left after bad mouthing me to our children. Any advice for me?
Q. My husband just left after bad mouthing me to our children. Ive been unwell for almost 3 weeks.. my cough has turned into bronchitis. Ive been feeling horribly miserable. When i first started out with the cough, i was still working out and ...
A. 4 November 2015: Hopefully he comes back with an apology for you and an apology for you kids. He needs to be taking ownership of such unjust behaviour so I wouldn't be making excuses to your kids for him. I would go as far to say to them that you are sorry dad said ... (read in full...)
How do you french kiss??
Q. Hey aunts, this gonna be weird but am gonna ask it anyway... How do you french kiss???...
A. 4 November 2015: Slowly and and intermittently include caressing with a bit of lip on lips action. Make sure your lips are slightly parted, take your time. Nothing worse than a wide mouthed, sloppy almost engulfed kiss.... (read in full...)
Did I start this blind date off on the wrong foot?
Q. A friend of a friend gave me the email address of a very interesting woman and suggested that I contact her. We haven't met before but she indicated that she'd like me contact her. Being a little nervous and not wanting to overthink it, I ...
A. 4 November 2015: Nope not at all. Not sure what your mates on about, what was he expecting a grown man to put in an email- "Hi"? Bloody noog lol
If you had ruined anything then i doubt very much than she would have even replied let alone confirming the date and time... (read in full...)
My Bf was in bed with another man. I'm distraught. What can I do now?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 18 months now and it's been great he's so caring our sex life is amazing and we really seem to click. But this came crashing down at the weekend, I came back from a girls holiday and found him underneath his best...
A. 4 November 2015: Gay,lesbian,bi,trans,straight- no matter he's a cheater. A cheater sexually and a cheater of allowing you to make decisions on what type of relationship you are willing or capable of having.
If thats what you saw then thats what you tell him, why ... (read in full...)
Marriage problems and cheating and now I am torn between two options. How can this be resolved?
Q. I had an affair starting July 2014 got caught Feb 2015 Admitted affair to my husband of 26yrs. We talked and I decided I would move in with other man. But he made me wait until Mar 2015 so it was awful for my husband with me in the home until th...
A. 4 November 2015: Perfect example of the grass ain't always greener. Truthfully I think staying with your husband for no other reason than financial is just as selfish as the affair. 29 years of marriage is not something you just get over in a matter of a few months. ... (read in full...)
Having sexual thoughts about an older man
Q. Hello aunts I need some advice on what to do about this older guy. I'm 24 and he's 32, now I've never been attracted to older guys. Never! But I keep thinking about him in a sexual way. We're both single but I just want to "sleep" with him because...
A. 2 November 2015: In your mind you are setting the stakes pretty high for the sexual prowess of what you think an older man has to offer. You might be in for a bit of a let down if you think all older men are Magic Mikes. If a bit older guy is what you fancy then go ... (read in full...)
My Girlfriends seems to be jealous of my children. How to handle the strain this puts on our relationship?
Q. Hi everyone, I have a problem that hopefully you can help me with..... My current partner of 2 years and myself have a child who is 7 months old (the relationship moved fast). I have two more children from a previous relationship, all my chi...
A. 2 November 2015: You have 3 children, sorry but she sounds like the 4th. Instead of you having to find the answers I think you should be putting that onus on her having to find ways to cope, this is only a problem because she has chosen to make it one- You just ... (read in full...)
Is it still possible to continue with a normal working life after posing for nude modelling?
Q. I am currently studying accountancy in college and have ambitions to have a successful career working in finance. While still attending courses in college, I did part time work as a model for local painting classes. I did not see this as something ...
A. 2 November 2015: If it comes up, then you respond with ' Oh my artistic nudes you've seen them. Im really proud to have been able to sit for such a talented artist'. There is a big difference between a tasteful nude and legs spread eagled for all to see what you ... (read in full...)
How do I talk to him without looking desperate?
Q. So I got the guy I'm interested in number. He mentioned he was looking for another job so I got him the information of a job that is hiring so I used that as an excuse to ask for his number to text the information to him. But i really want to use ...
A. 2 November 2015: I don't think it is an act of desperation just keep it real simple-" hey , i hope you don't mind me calling,but how'd things go with the job info I sent you, was it helpful, did you have any luck" and see where that takes you.... (read in full...)
Should I show my girlfriend what her ex texted to me?
Q. My gf of three months had a nasty break up with her ex. He was verbally abusive and in the end became physically abusive. We started dating shortly after they broke but he recently just found out through Facebook that we are dating. Last night I ...
A. 2 November 2015: Hang on...edit.forgot that you mentioned he made comments about her in bed. her dad don't need to be seeing that. So just let him know about the txt, if he wants to read it then just say I prefer you didn't because it has some rather inappropriate ... (read in full...)
Should I show my girlfriend what her ex texted to me?
Q. My gf of three months had a nasty break up with her ex. He was verbally abusive and in the end became physically abusive. We started dating shortly after they broke but he recently just found out through Facebook that we are dating. Last night I ...
A. 2 November 2015: Hi there BATMAN lol. I wouldn't be showing her, No. However, I would be showing her father. Not in a dibber dobber big deal fashion but maybe pull him aside next time you see him and say hey look, Ive been sent this from *insert name* the other ... (read in full...)
Does my girlfriend still want her ex boyfriend? She chats to him on whatsapp every day
Q. Hi everyone, I have been dating someone for 6 months now and it's generally going well. My main concern is she has an ex-boyfriend (ex) and they message each other on whatsapp literally everyday. They were friends for a few years before t...
A. 2 November 2015: Ok you seem pretty cool about things and you know what, it's not always cool to be cool and ok to be annoyed. Because you are acting like to are ok with it, then you have given her no reason to do otherwise. So unless you have said to your gf- 'Hey, ... (read in full...)
Should I run out on the relationship before she does?
Q. Ladies I need your help, a woman, I've been out with four times now, we just,made love,that's what's I called it, she told me today, that when she gets close to a guy she, run's, so I am falling, she's wonderful, should I run, I feel so good inside....
A. 2 November 2015: No i don't think you should run just yet. Some insight from her as to why I think is important because whatever the reason it is not only her feelings at stake. If she could tell you then you can work out for yourself whether or not you can give her ... (read in full...)
Is boyfriend unhappy because I haven't touched him the way he touches me?
Q. my bf has fingered me and thats about as far as our relationship has gotten too but i find it hard to cum...and im worried he isnt satisfied because i havent touched him in that way.....
A. 1 November 2015: Enjoyment and sexual satisfaction is a two way street. But if you are not comfortable or a bit in experienced ,so hope so at your age, then you should be talking with your bf. He, like you is not a mind reader so talking about these things are ... (read in full...)
Wife's drunken antics took a turn for worse, and yet I am somehow the bad guy. What did I do wrong?
Q. To understand the question I'm asking, I must go over in detail what has transpired for the past couple weeks. My wife and I have been married for 6 months, and have been together for 5 years. She has been married before, and had a son with a person ...
A. 1 November 2015: I agree with your brother. From your post it doesn't sound as though you did anything wrong. You married an out of control nasty drunk. Sorry but she needs a reality check. If she,when sober,is of the opinion that you had no right to be keeping her ... (read in full...)
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