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... Send *vyblue a private message | | *vyblue's profile:What qualifies me to help people…? Well to be honest I don't really know. I consider myself to be a life long learner therefore far from knowing everything. I believe the "outsider looking in" kind of advice can sometimes be the best because it can be the most eye opening and honest response that you will find.
Where do I live…? I sometimes wish I lived in the land of LaLa but for the time being I live in the Land Down Under.
My family makes me tick. They are my motivation for most things that I do choose to do.
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My childhood friend is passively mean to me!
Q. Hey all, So I have this friend I grew up with. He is a little eccentric in his behavior but we had a fun childhood together. He was my best friend for a very long time. As we grew, I guess he started liking me and still does I guess. I love hi...
A. 28 September 2015: Its really up to you if you can forgive him. If you want too then do it, don't be stubborn about it. I would assume that if he knows you so well he should be told he should know better than to be thinking that your motives for being interested in ... (read in full...)
Is it weird that I'm not interested in dating?
Q. I guess I don't quite know how to put this in the form of a question. Basically I'm just curious if it's really so bad to not have an interest in dating? I have told myself that I'm most likely asexual although I'm attracted to men, j...
A. 28 September 2015: No. Thats like asking a woman is it weird for not wanting children. Each to their own and for what ever reason works for them. Not wanting to date shouldn't make you a social leper either. Society has too many expectations on the rules of ... (read in full...)
He felt me pulling away so he lied to me about where he was!
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm newly divorced and have been dating a man for 9'months. He has been separated from his wife for 6 years, filed for divorce 4 years ago and the lawyers still have not reached an agreement. I was initially worried dating him since hi...
A. 28 September 2015: If he felt you pulling away then why not bring it up for discussion and sort it out? Sounds more like a cop out and excuse to lay his choices at your feet. His new found happiness should not be at your expense and recent holiday with the ex runs the ... (read in full...)
Confused by one night stand. Was I too harsh on him?
Q. Dear all. Please can you throw some light on this. Thanks. I have recently come out of a long abusive relationship and feel happier than ever. I've been out partying and dating and having a great time. Anyway, last weekend I met a guy I was stro...
A. 26 September 2015: I think things are always best said in person. Txt'ing is just too darn ambiguous. Matched with your behaviour, if I were to interpret your "I had a bit to drink last night "comment it would go a little something like this:
YOU: Last night wa... (read in full...)
How can I stop myself from sharing cropped nude pictures of my girlfriend online with other guys? It gives me a thrill even though it's wrong
Q. Hi friends.. I have been Sharing nude pictures of my girlfriend but before that cropping the head of the picture and then share with other guys on an anonymous social networking website it turns me on when i share it.. I then wank over it.. Im ...
A. 26 September 2015: you are sexually exploiting her through pornography.The end doesn't justify the means because you cut her head off the photo. ... (read in full...)
In public I'm different. In private I'm unhappy and take it out on my elderly parents. What can I do?
Q. Why do I get so irritable and shout at my parents? My life has really taken a turn for the worse. I was made redundant and running short of cash, I lost my boyfriend to another woman which I've never really got over and I have been diagnosed w...
A. 26 September 2015: Anxiety is a horrible thing to live with, I grant you that, but like any other illness there is help out there and it's your responsibility to seek it. Behaviour therapy, counselling,life coach or even just your GP perhaps. No one let alone your... (read in full...)
He complains about being bored and he's rude. Should continue seeing him or just leave?
Q. Please correct me if I am wrong!but I am really mad at a guy I am seeing for a little over a month. So on our last date(which was yesterday) he called me over to his place and no we did not even kiss it was us just hanging out and having dinner,b...
A. 26 September 2015: Bad manners now, bad manners for ever- sounds like a spoiled prat... (read in full...)
Is it wrong? Fling with Ex girlfriend's mum and she wants more?
Q. I recently had a fling with my ex-girlfriends' Mum and she wants to see me on a regular basis. Is it wrong? We're both single... I'm 24 and she's 41 and divorced. I went out with my ex-girlfriend for just over a year and during that time I a...
A. 26 September 2015: Under different circumstances I would say go for it, I get the whole Mrs.Robinson thing, but I think this is a very deliberate act of making a fool out of the daughter, whether she finds out or not. Yes you are are no loner together, adults etc etc ... (read in full...)
What exactly are morals?
Q. What exactly are morals? I would define morals as standards set by society. Are morals flexible? I am very guarded about my sexual side. I have often read about people who give advice on this forum saying keeping your body till marriage is outdated. ...
A. 21 September 2015: Decent behaviours and standards of choosing between right and wrong. ... (read in full...)
Why does he treat her better than he ever treated me?
Q. Yesterday I was on Facebook and came across my ex's current girlfriend's profile on my 'people you may know' list. Both her and I are friends with my ex's cousins. I was curious and clicked on her profile to take a look. Two years ago, my ex and I...
A. 21 September 2015: Maybe he has learnt by his mistakes and realises in order to make a relationship work you need to make an effort. Different personalities bring out different sides to people also.... (read in full...)
He lied to me and then tells me that he did that because he doesn't want me to get upset!
Q. My husband lied to me. But came to me to tell me he lied but the way he did it makes me mad and the more I think about it the madder i get. He starts out by saying "I want to tell you something but I don't want you to get mad at me". Then he ...
A. 21 September 2015: If you do something that you know your partner is not going to approve of, lying is for their own benefit and not that of not wanting to upset the other. if you want for better words- covering their arse. If they didn't want to cause upset why do ... (read in full...)
I'm wondering if it's too early to invite him to upcoming holiday, like Thanksgiving?
Q. Hi all! I've been with my boyfriend for two months and already, I very much care for him! He's met my close friends and little sister and brother. Made great impressions! Anyway, with upcoming holidays I'm wondering if it's too early to invite h...
A. 21 September 2015: I don't think so. I think it depends on the tone of the invitation.
" Hey, I know you won't be able to spend time with your family this year for Thanks giving why not come spend it with me at mine? It will be great". As apposed to :
" I really w... (read in full...)
Why would my young chatty, sweet coworker turn on me and complain to my senior about me?
Q. Hi, I really can't understand this girl. I met her through my work and we seemed to get in and chat away even about things that didn't link to the work I was doing for her. She's young, attractive and always chatty and sweet. Recently she c...
A. 21 September 2015: Maybe her responding to your flirty behaviour was her way of appeasing the situation and too polite or afraid to tell you straight off the bat she didn't like it in some way. Now she's tired of it she's complained. If thats the case, her making it ... (read in full...)
He evaded answering my question. Should I confront him or ignore him?
Q. Hiya I have been seeing a guy for a few months and all has been going really well, and always tells me how much he likes me and how much fun he has with me. We haven't yet been physical and I want to wait until I am sure of him. We only se...
A. 20 September 2015: Maybe he's ignoring you because he knows it's plastered all over FB. So i guess he's facing the same problem which is finding it hard to be straight with you.... (read in full...)
He doesn't want me near him, and all I want is to be able to love him!
Q. ok to sum this up my ex recently cheated on me then told me he was done with our relationship. I was devastated but kept my head up. knowing that this is the end of us about a month later he tells me he's sorry and be willing to date me/ be physical ...
A. 20 September 2015: Sorry but Im going to sound harsh too but thats not my intent. When you say the very next day, after he is willing to start dating you, it is confirmed he has cancer the word confirmed means this is something he was aware about which makes me think ... (read in full...)
He evaded answering my question. Should I confront him or ignore him?
Q. Hiya I have been seeing a guy for a few months and all has been going really well, and always tells me how much he likes me and how much fun he has with me. We haven't yet been physical and I want to wait until I am sure of him. We only se...
A. 20 September 2015: I wouldn't ignore him for the simple fact it enables him to think that he can be shifty and thats ok. Keep it simple when you next see him with a simple " yeah I saw you when to blah blah. Not too sure why you felt couldn't be straight with me when ... (read in full...)
Men: Do you consider it cheating when you go to a Buck's Night out?
Q. So my question is mainly for men. I was just wondering why when men go to a bucks night they enjoy the shows that include sex toys and watch a woman use them? What is the fulfilment of this? Do they fantasize about it? what is arousing by that when ...
A. 19 September 2015: Lol...Depends on where you come from. Buck,stag. Pot or a pint that kind of thing... (read in full...)
Can you face the thought of your partner dying without being upset?
Q. My partner will die unless he has an operation for his heart which he doesnt want to undergo.If i mention it he just dismisses it out of hand and as i know time is short i find it very stressful.It also feels rather like being permanently and ...
A. 19 September 2015: Is this something recent he has just been told? Maybe the gravity of it all has not quite sunk in yet. I can't really think of any other reason why someone so young would turn their back at a second and perhaps only chance at life other than being ... (read in full...)
If you have a nasty partner, is it cheating if you find a few hours of solace and happiness with someone else?
Q. If your partner is nasty and doesn't miss any chance to belittle, criticize,and hurt you, is it considered cheating if you find a few hours of solace and happiness with someone else? I feel it isn't. ...
A. 19 September 2015: Why cheat?- leave the arse hole and find a lifetime of solace and happiness with that some one else. UNLESS of course that someone else has a partner. ... (read in full...)
How do I cope with being disowned by my mother because of who I married?
Q. I need some help coping with basically being disowned by my mother. My mother doesn't speak to me anymore now since I married a man she didn't approve of. In my opinion her reasons for disapproval were very petty and she refuses to meet my husba...
A. 19 September 2015: What a disappointing and hurtful situation. Have you thought about penning her a letter. She may not get past the first few sentences but human nature tells me otherwise. A heartfelt one not one full of anger and venom. Instead of pointing out you ... (read in full...)
How do I respond to my ex's comments about our past sexual relationship?
Q. I am single and in my 40's and in contact with an ex. We were talking about our very brief relationship from years ago and I said to him that I enjoyed our brief relationship all those years ago. He replied that we had fun and that we had some ...
A. 19 September 2015: You only have to respond if you are happy with a bit of "wink" too.If not think nothing more of it. Just bare in mind whats classified as 'Off' for some is not 'off' for another as you could be playing with fire as the unintentional other woman.... (read in full...)
How do I get enough guts to talk to her?
Q. Hi guys iam 15 year old guy I like a girl which is very-very Beautiful I just want to talk to her but can't get enough guts she even noticed that sometimes I look at her with lustrous eyes but she ignore it Plz suggest me some ways that how I ...
A. 18 September 2015: Is this a girl at school or just someone you know in general. I ask this question because if you take classes together you could simply say hi while finding a seat next to her to sit and break the ice talking about school stuff. If it's outside of ... (read in full...)
Men: Do you consider it cheating when you go to a Buck's Night out?
Q. So my question is mainly for men. I was just wondering why when men go to a bucks night they enjoy the shows that include sex toys and watch a woman use them? What is the fulfilment of this? Do they fantasize about it? what is arousing by that when ...
A. 18 September 2015: Strip clubs and part and parcel of both Bucks and Hens nights so going to them I don't have a problem but I too agree with female anon I'd draw the line at the sex toys. Just takes it to another level. Mind you I have never seen a sleazy male ... (read in full...)
I left my husband because he hangs around his uncle who is a drug user and drug dealer
Q. My husband has a horrible uncle who is a cocaine addict and also selling the drug and other things like stealing etc..and going causing trouble with other drug dealers. I have had many an argument with my husband about him associating with him as ...
A. 18 September 2015: Yes. You are making choices for your life, he is making choices for his. He sounds like he is behaving like a gang banging wannabe teenager. Problems caused by association for him also means consequences for you. Your physical and mental health is ... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend lied and cheated. Do I take him back?
Q. Hey all, So I have asked questions before on this board and it really helped. Please help! I have been living with my boyfriend for about 4 years. Things are tough because we both work medical and emergency services which means our schedul...
A. 18 September 2015: Best Friends are very special people in your life. They are the first people you think about when you make plans. They are the first people you go to when you need someone to talk to. You will phone them up just to talk about nothing, or the most ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't think I try hard enough. I'm afraid he'll leave me
Q. My boyfriend and I get in arguments that I don't try hard enough in life. I'm 24, I go to school, take 18 credits, have a part time job and in my free time do things like homework, draw and watch TV. Sometimes, I get lazy. I have clinical de...
A. 17 September 2015: Your bf thinks too much and says too much. You are your own person and should not feel obligated to conform to the ideals of another. Sometimes you get lazy, well don't we all. It's not like you spend your time bumming around. Your work load and ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend admitted that he's attracted to another woman but says it ends there and has no feelings for her. Do I believe him?
Q. My boyfriend (not sure what to call him right now) have been dating for over a year now. We have had our ups and downs but have a lot of love for each other. I just broke up with him last week because I found out that 8 months ago he had a crush o...
A. 17 September 2015: He mentions a lot about his feelings towards/curiosity towards this woman but just how interested is this woman in him? If at all.Maybe it's me being a bit naive however it Could be she nothing more than an unsuspecting fantasy. Regardless, when ... (read in full...)
I am miserable in my marriage and in love with a married man
Q. Hi everyone! I’m confronted with a situation I cant’ handle any longer, so please give me your advice. I’m married for 15 years, childless. We used to have a good relationship until the daily problems, mainly the financial ones, haven driven my ...
A. 16 September 2015: married and has a son- stay away thats my advice. well it's the advice that i would give to any woman thinking about hooking up with my husband and I'd only say it once if you get my drift... (read in full...)
Boyfriend admitted that he's attracted to another woman but says it ends there and has no feelings for her. Do I believe him?
Q. My boyfriend (not sure what to call him right now) have been dating for over a year now. We have had our ups and downs but have a lot of love for each other. I just broke up with him last week because I found out that 8 months ago he had a crush o...
A. 16 September 2015: He has no feelings for her... isn't that what a crush is? We can't control who it is that we may crush on unfortunately, but we can control our choices. He chose to add the very woman at the centre of what has caused you to doubt where his head is ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend used to be so appreciative and now nothing seems to matter to him
Q. This afternoon, my boyfriend texted me a video of his sister and nieces and nephews singing Happy Birthday to his mom. I love his mom and she is super nice to me. Once I saw that video, I went online to order his mom a $80 USD fruit basket to be de...
A. 16 September 2015: Sorry but I think you are over reacting a wee bit. As thoughtful as your gesture was, you can't really expect someone to get on board the excitement train in the same manner or assume that they should be accommodating to your expectation of it ... (read in full...)
Why is my ex still friends with this guy after he hit on me but yet can't be friends with me?
Q. I work at a local pharmacy as a cashier and my ex and his friend go there from time to time. It makes me uncomfortable that they are there. My ex doesn't go in because he is banned from the store (because he stole something before we started ...
A. 16 September 2015: A bro finds it easy to forgive a bro. The party kissing incident was more than likely hashed out as a dumb arse thing to do and now a thing of the past. relationships come and go but friendships tend to last a lifetime,for some anyway.... (read in full...)
Am I stretching it too much by not taking recommendations?
Q. Hello dear cupids, I am 24 yr old girl. I have completed my masters degree in life sciences. But after many trials and interviews I am still unemployed for 2 years. I don't want to take references and recommendations as I believe in my own ability. ...
A. 15 September 2015: Use the recommendations if that's going to help you get a job. Then you can prove your ability for the job role. Be smart about your options. Good luck... (read in full...)
My husband really wants oral sex but I have a terrible gag reflex and just can't do it!
Q. My husband and I have been together for 10 years, married for 6. This man is the love of my life and I would, will, am willing, and want to do everything I possibly can to make him happy and to fulfill all his needs, wants, and dreams. I've worked ...
A. 14 September 2015: You can give a good bj without having do go deep throat. not all woman can or wish too and that's fine. Love him as you may, but his emotionally bullying you is really unfair. I wonder how satisfied he'd be with you vomiting all over him.... (read in full...)
Liars and hypocrites? Why am I feeling short changed by the last six girls I've dated?
Q. Why are all women the same? The past six girls I've dated have left me short changed metaphorically. It's constantly something that's wrong which leads them to just use me then leave. I do all the right things that I believe should be done as a man ...
A. 14 September 2015: I don't see why I'm getting bashed for liking beautiful girls who have these attributes. Maybe I should just start dating girls who shoot up drugs and are alcoholics because that's what it seems like everyone is stating I should do.
ummm…... (read in full...)
Liars and hypocrites? Why am I feeling short changed by the last six girls I've dated?
Q. Why are all women the same? The past six girls I've dated have left me short changed metaphorically. It's constantly something that's wrong which leads them to just use me then leave. I do all the right things that I believe should be done as a man ...
A. 13 September 2015: I empathise with your situation however I consider myself and know many other woman that value traits of the kind of man you say you are, so we are not all the same. Yes I agree that there are the users and abusers but how much you let yourself be ... (read in full...)
How do I address his questions, with answers, when he is sober?
Q. So I have been on about 8 to 9 dates with this guy I have been recently seeing..he usually is not a drinker but this time when he was out with his friends to a party he invited me but I did not go he got drunk..and he sent me a text saying "how much ...
A. 13 September 2015: He should be approaching the subject when he is sober and show a little courage without the Dutch.... (read in full...)
How can I let someone in my group know I am attracted to them without making it awkward for the group, him, or me?
Q. I run a small event group that goes out and explores different attractions around the city. I have a few regular attendees... one of which I am quite attracted to. We just get along so well, so easily. Long story short, I would really like to h...
A. 12 September 2015: Your are either the hostess with the most'est and thats what makes him a regular or maybe he comes back because he fancies you a little? once you are coming to and end with the group why not just casually mention that you are going to grab a quick ... (read in full...)
Do women ever regret giving up a good guy for a bad guy?
Q. Hello,do women ever regret, going back, with a abusive ex after being with a nice guy, an do they ever think about the nice guy...
A. 12 September 2015: I take it you are the nice guy wondering why nice guys finish last? Well they don't they finish first because they end up finding a woman worthy of giving back all that it is that you have to give. Unlike the one that got away wasting her time ... (read in full...)
Is my friend (rightfully) angry since she hasn’t answered my email for days?
Q. A decade ago my hubby and I moved to one of the most beautiful and touristic cities in Europe. We knew that our friends would visit. And they did. One more than others, let’s call her K. She’s smart, witty, sociable, makes friends easily … and she ...
A. 12 September 2015: Sorry but if what you have posted is the reason she has chosen to snub you - she seriously needs and attitude adjustment-and a job. A thirty year old still being financially supported by their parents is just ridiculously funny. Not sure why she ... (read in full...)
Love of my life - fight or flight?
Q. Hi, I could do with some help and advice I've been with my boyfriend/partner for 7 years, and we've been living together for 6. We've had our ups and downs, a few times we have nearly ended things. More recently he has become hot headed, selfish,...
A. 12 September 2015: I wouldn't be running for the hills just yet. Unless it gets physical. What I would try in the meantime is record him when he is not aware. Hard to say you don't have a problem when you're staring back at your own abusive behaviour. Show him the... (read in full...)
How do I get over my backstabbing friend?
Q. How do I get over my backstabbing friend? We were friends to start with and then she started flirting with this guy I know who was friends with me too. At first it was all done lightheartedly, but then bit by bit she started to cause trouble be...
A. 12 September 2015: You don't need to forgive her but forgetting her would be my advice. There is nothing victorious about her feeling the need to smear your character in fear of her not being able to snag a man because she is doubtful of her own. If he were indeed a... (read in full...)
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