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... Send *vyblue a private message | | | *vyblue's profile:What qualifies me to help people…? Well to be honest I don't really know. I consider myself to be a life long learner therefore far from knowing everything. I believe the "outsider looking in" kind of advice can sometimes be the best because it can be the most eye opening and honest response that you will find.
Where do I live…? I sometimes wish I lived in the land of LaLa but for the time being I live in the Land Down Under.
My family makes me tick. They are my motivation for most things that I do choose to do.
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How do I get over my backstabbing friend?
Q. How do I get over my backstabbing friend? We were friends to start with and then she started flirting with this guy I know who was friends with me too. At first it was all done lightheartedly, but then bit by bit she started to cause trouble be...
A. 12 September 2015: You don't need to forgive her but forgetting her would be my advice. There is nothing victorious about her feeling the need to smear your character in fear of her not being able to snag a man because she is doubtful of her own. If he were indeed a... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is separated but is going on holiday with her husband and kids, I don't know what to think about it!
Q. I've been dating a really nice women since May and although she told me a few months ago that she is going on holiday soon with her ex husband and their two children there is something niggling at me about the situation. She says it's easier if the ...
A. 10 September 2015: I think your concerns are warranted. I wouldn't feel at all comfortable knowing that my partner was going on holiday with her still married husband that has hinted at the possibility of getting back together. They have a history and still have a ... (read in full...)
My wife went to an adults-only topless pool in Vegas. I'm not so sure what to think about it
Q. My wife recently went on a bachelorette party to Las Vegas. Some of the girls decided to go to the adults-only topless pool. My wife and a couple other girls (single) decided to take their tops off. The one's who were married did not. My wife ...
A. 10 September 2015: Probably a bit uncomfortable to hear but if you trust your wife then i would probably chalk it up to her getting caught up in the freedom of liberating herself from the norm and a bit of fun risqué behaviour. Bit like the saying 'When in Rome, do as ... (read in full...)
Who should I go to for mental health treatment, counselors or psychologists?
Q. Hello , First thanks for reading my post. I am interested to know about mental issue treatment. I cant go over my past. One of my family member hurt me badly in past I cant get over this. I cant move on. Which doctor I have to go to help me t...
A. 10 September 2015: I would start with your GP and ask for a referral. By asking you are not obliged to discuss any aspects other than the basics. Not to sure what the procedure is in your country however you could find a psychologist and phone them direct for an ... (read in full...)
Why does he want to send me his half-naked pictures?
Q. Hi everyone, There is this guy who I dated for around 3 months but then we got separated (one of the reasons being that he didn't want anything serious at that time, basically he wanted something similar to fwb type of relationship, wh...
A. 9 September 2015: maybe he feels like to share with his mates would leave him open to ridicule or being labeled at being full of himself? It's a bit easier to show off a bit with someone he feels comfortable. OR he could see it as a way to get you interested in a ... (read in full...)
I have feelings but he wont open up.
Q. Can anyone tell me what these texts mean? . I have feelings for a man and his dad sent one text saying good luck and hope it goes well. Dont spend all your money on her.Another text he sent said don't be upset if it doesn't work out. The man I li...
A. 7 September 2015: He sounds very unsure of things. The foundation of the txt could stem from a once bitten twice shy past experience. Im not sure why exactly he would want to show you other than hoping your response would be one of reassurance. If he is willing to ... (read in full...)
Is my sister-in-law's behavior normal? Shouldn't she respect our matrimonial bed/home? Why doesn't my husband see any wrong in her actions?
Q. I am in my second year of marriage. My husband is the last born and the only boy. In our first year of marriage his eldest sister (42year old - unmarried) was at our house every day of the weekend. She would arrive at 7am in the morning while we ...
A. 7 September 2015: Each to their own but to me that sounds wacko. If ever there is a place that you should feel comfortable and considered it is your marriage. Any normal person would expect that their marital spouse honour and respect their concerns without argument ... (read in full...)
I want to make friends but don't know where to start!
Q. This sounds weird but how can I make friends? I've never been one to be popular or have many friends, but I had about 5 close friends from high school. I ended up loosing touch with them because 2 of them moved and the other 3 went off to coll...
A. 7 September 2015: Have you thought about looking your best buds from school. Catching up or at least keeping in contact may lead to rekindling friendships. I'd say Facebook perhaps the easiest and most casual way. What about cousins etc if you have them and around ... (read in full...)
I've been dumped before but this time is different!
Q. I can’t believe I’m writing in, but my situation is desperate! I’ve been in relationships before that have lasted far longer than the one I was recently in. I’ve dealt with rejection and being dumped by guys I really like and got over them but this...
A. 7 September 2015: Wow…that was a hard and fast break up. Maybe it's not really about being dumped that you are struggling with the most more the shock of how things went from fast track to off track and being rejected in such a blunt and insulting manner what is ... (read in full...)
How do I support a friend who just lost a parent?
Q. My friend just messaged me saying she wasn't ready for a phone call but that her dad had just died from a sudden heart attack and that she just wanted to let me know. So I replied, offering my sympathies and that if she wanted company I'd come...
A. 7 September 2015: You are being a good friend by respecting her wishes to grieve in her time and terms. When we hear of such tradgerdy I think it is human nature to immediatly respond by thinking the best support is by having to be there in person. It just depends ... (read in full...)
We've been dating for 2 years but g/f has never touched my penis
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for two years and we live together, everything is perfect BUT in all this time she won't touch my penis. We have sex three times a week and will let me touch her etc (not allowed to go down on her) . I have spoke to ...
A. 6 September 2015: I had a male friend once who claimed he was so turned off by giving oral because, in his words lol, "mentally scarred" by one particular woman lack of hygiene and just no longer goes there. Maybe this is something she has experienced in her past... (read in full...)
Love of his life or controlling? why is he labelling me like this?
Q. Hi there, I've been dating this man for 6 yrs and we now live together and have for over a yr now. He say's I'm a nymph he gets upset when I take care of myself... He makes every excuse possible not to have sex. (headache,upset stomac...
A. 6 September 2015: You can only do the best you can, it seems as though you have done that. This man is his own worst enemy and is well over due to be taking responsibility for his sad sack self. He has lived as both the abuser and victim with his first marriage s... (read in full...)
Am I wrong in insisting she get a divorce?
Q. I really need some help figuring out what to do in my current situation. I have been with my girlfriend for a year now. When we first met I didn't tell her about an older daughter that I have because she hasn't been in my life for a very long ...
A. 5 September 2015: Not being divorced is one thing but going to such length to lie about her whereabouts is something to be of more concern. What an utter and total load of baloney!!! If its not the first thing and her being caught out is just a pattern in her ... (read in full...)
Does he just want sex or could we be friends?
Q. So I've asked similar questions, but now there's more to it. So I lost my virginity to a guy who was a co-worker, at the time when I lost my virginity we were no longer co-workers because i had quit due to some family issues. I don't think it m...
A. 5 September 2015: He wants sex. He's been there and done that so why not try get a little more. Why do you want to be friends with someone who thinks nothing more of you than his potential bit of fluff on the side? Someone with ulterior motives is hardly what I would ... (read in full...)
Why would he dance with me,call me ugly,then carry on dancing with me?
Q. I saw this boy at a party and started dancing with him, he seemed enthusiastic enough and he even tried to kiss me then we went to get a drink and while we were at the bar he said your face is ugly-I thought I had misheard so I asked him to repeat ...
A. 5 September 2015: Sorry but I can't make head or tales of such bizarre behaviour so my advice would be to shrug it off as just that. People get on just fine with an " Ugly" face (sarcasm) it ugly attitudes that like this turkey that are less fortunate.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend plays happy families with his ex
Q. I received a text saying that my bf was being thrashed by his ex playing crazy golf yesterday and just off to dinner with her and his sons. I knew he was taking his son out for his birthday but he forgot to mention he was taking her too. We have ...
A. 5 September 2015: Are you sure that its REALLY over? Because if like you they are recently separated, maybe they aren't quite separated. 18 months is still relatively recent. Sorry I'm a bit confused,when you say she popped in with the kids do you mean his place ... (read in full...)
I know she's just trying to annoy me, so how do I move past it?
Q. Do I have a right to be angry? I fell out with a girl who started dated a guy who was once after me. Me and this guy never really got past first base - although I would've liked to - but just wasn't pushy enough like her. To cut a long story sho...
A. 5 September 2015: Be apart of the solution and not the problem- Don't be checking up on social sites linked to either of them. Out of sight ,eventually out of mind. If they are in a relationship then thats what people do, share it on Facebook etc. You are feeding ... (read in full...)
Can I let this happen?
Q. I have recently become really close with one of my mates mothers. She is a beautiful person inside and out. She is married with 6 children (3 live with her). We've become really close and we are both always there if the other needs us. Last night I ...
A. 5 September 2015: I don't think the onus is entirely you whether or not it should be allowed to happen. It's on the mother also, this is their child and relationship that is potentially going to get damaged.There is a bit of a taboo with hooking up a mates parent. Ok ... (read in full...)
Not looking forward to seeing my ex at our son's games
Q. Just enrolled my 4 year old son in soccer. I plan to attend his games with my fiance, and his Father will be attending with his fiance and probably all of her family. I have met my ex's fiance once briefly, but none of her family. Frankly, I am ...
A. 5 September 2015: it can only be as uncomfortable as you make it. no doubt you will have the butterflies in your stomach at first but until your are there you can't really judge. could turn out to be an enjoyable day if you keep it simple- be polite when your paths ... (read in full...)
How do I show him and prove to him that I don't need him anymore?
Q. Hey guys What's the best way to show someone you have an FU mentality I stupidly got led on by someone who I thought was interested as we were friends first but he hadn't tied loose ends with his ex - they're long finished now But then s...
A. 4 September 2015: Don't answer them and ignore him... (read in full...)
I don't want to be around my friend anymore. All she wants to do is argue
Q. Hello. I have a friend i met this year at uni. She is fun and likes talking a lot. We share a lot in common like religion(we go to the same church), some life values our drive for education and success. I like her but at times she wants to argue ...
A. 3 September 2015: You could start to involve yourself more and more with your other friends. if she ask why tell her that you are tired of you and her arguing over everything little thing and she is making it difficult for you to want to be around her all the time. ... (read in full...)
Does he prefer older women, or did I mess it up?
Q. Hello, I found this man I worked with really attractive, he's really nice and fun and we get along great! I have known him for a few years now and consider him a good friend. My friends always tease me and say what a great couple we would make, an...
A. 3 September 2015: Don't go there, really, don't go there. That ship has sailed and if it were to come back let it be him steering the wheel. People are friendly and flirty when they are interested but that was over a year ago so it makes sense that he no longer feels ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't know that I seen a text he sent to a friend where they were discussing a 3 way!
Q. Hi, Me and my partner was in bed and he was texting his friends in a group chat on 'WhatsApp', I glanced over (we've all done it) and his friend said "I think I was in love" to which my boyfriend said "Yeah, I think you was" (this is about their ni...
A. 3 September 2015: Kind of hard to be trusting someone when they respond with comments like that. If it's bugging you then speak up. He needs to be told that he's now planted a seed of whether or not he can be trusted and you need to decide if you are willing to ... (read in full...)
I got back from a trip to find another man's pair of underwear in my bed. Do I believe my wife's story?
Q. came home from a week long trip found a pair of men's underwear in my bed that weren't mine. Was told they got mixed in laundry and got there when she made the bed. What's the answer? ...
A. 3 September 2015: Unless you use a public laundry where the heck did they come from? I think she may be telling porky pies (lies). Thats a bit far fetched!... (read in full...)
I'm having trouble knowing what to do. Relationship issues.
Q. I'm having trouble knowing what to do. I have been in a relationship with a girl for about 11 years. We have had a very up and down relationship. Our love for each other was the strongest and the compatibility even stronger, in the beginning. W...
A. 3 September 2015: Thats what happens when you play games, someone loses and that person is you. It is very easy to move on with someone who is a breath of fresh uncomplicated air and it highlights all that was wrong in past relationships. Acknowledging that you were ... (read in full...)
I have a poor relationship with her. How do I deal with the fact that my mother is the 'other woman'?
Q. I would start by saying I cannot bring myself to forgive the woman I have called mother for years. I often asked her why she was never married to the abusive man I called father for years, she always tossed my questions to the side. With further ...
A. 3 September 2015: I understand your position on this. Maybe life for you would have been different if she had make different choices. Better opportunities, securities, lifestyle or relationships etc. An abusive relationship with a man that only has the title of... (read in full...)
Should I ask him to choose or ask him how he feels about his lady friend now?
Q. I met a man through friends about 4 months ago and we started seeing each other as just friends. Our friendship seems to be growing into something more which is lovely, as we get on really well and it's obvious that he likes me very much. Each t...
A. 3 September 2015: Telling you about his feelings towards this woman is very upfront and honest but I can hardly see why he would think that his "just friends" relationship would not be of concern for you or a bit insulting that you should be ok as his waiting in the ... (read in full...)
I'm 26 with a baby, in love with a man in his late 40s' but no one seems to think its a good idea
Q. I am now in a relationship with a man in his late 40s. I met him through his work. Even then before I was with him he gave me butterfly's and he liked me back, which he never hid. We have been together 5months now and I really am falling for him. ...
A. 3 September 2015: People can use and abuse at any age regardless of age gap so I hardly think thats much of an argument when you are 26 years old. It would be a bit different if you were closer to 20 because the thought process and emotional intelligence is a bit ... (read in full...)
Came across a conversation between my husband and his friend and I think he's cheating on me
Q. I need help? My husband and I have been together for 7 years. And we have been married for only 4. I fell in love with him as a person and for his sense of humor. I never had a problem trusting him until the other night....I came home from my next ...
A. 3 September 2015: Why not txt the friend yourself and let him know that you are not ok with this so called arrangement and would like to know whats going on? Chances are you'd get a far more honest response from someone who is unaware that they have been roped into ... (read in full...)
My ex wife completely messed my life up. How do I move on from something like this?
Q. I am a 28 year old male who was married to a woman for the last 5 years and have a 3 year old son with her. I found out she was cheating for over a year with my best friend that Ive known since elementary school. I was upset but tried my best to...
A. 3 September 2015: Im sorry that you are having to experience such betrayal. This is huge and shouldn't be unfairly trivialised by anyone to be suggesting that you should "just get over it". You should be angry,disappointed and wanting to pop him one-please don't th... (read in full...)
I hit my wife. What can I do now to make her realize that I'm sorry?
Q. I need help. My wife and I have been in heated arguments near the beginning of our marriage (we're going on 6 years) which led to abuse. Both physical and emotional. I love her to death and can't imagine ever losing her, she is the best thing t...
A. 3 September 2015: Please correct me if I am wrong but your post mentions both past physical and emotional abuse through out the marriage. On who's part, have you been a victim of your wife because you write that you hit your wife as a result from an argument... (read in full...)
If your partner cheated, would you want to know?
Q. I've been on this site for a while and I'm horrified at the number if times cheaters have been told to keep quiet about the affair or the kiss 'to spare the partner's feelings'. If my partner cheated on me I would want to know. If he cheated and t...
A. 2 September 2015: Depending on where you are in the relationship. The deliberate act of cheating yes I would but a one off drunken snog, with some random where the "OMG what have I done" guilt was more painful than the hang over itself and the fear of me finding ... (read in full...)
He rejected me years ago. Should I ask him to be friends again?
Q. I have been in love with this guy friend for three years now. He knows about my feelings because I confessed a few months before our college graduation. Unfortunately, he doesn't love me back and only loves me as a friend. We didn't talk for ...
A. 2 September 2015: I think if he truly wanted to be friends he would have continued to keep the friendship relevant. It seems he is just being polite by responding to your random yearly catch ups. I mean you have cut him off twice. that is why i think you should now ... (read in full...)
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