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... Send *vyblue a private message | | | *vyblue's profile:What qualifies me to help people…? Well to be honest I don't really know. I consider myself to be a life long learner therefore far from knowing everything. I believe the "outsider looking in" kind of advice can sometimes be the best because it can be the most eye opening and honest response that you will find.
Where do I live…? I sometimes wish I lived in the land of LaLa but for the time being I live in the Land Down Under.
My family makes me tick. They are my motivation for most things that I do choose to do.
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What are my options? I can't tell my gf because I don't want to break up with her
Q. Hi, so I’m in love with girl that I’ve been with for 4 years, were 20 years old and we’ve been living together in our own flat for the last two years. She’s an orphan and has little contact with her family and does not have a lot of friends. She’s ...
A. 23 February 2016: Ok... You stuffed up, crossed the line, so not to let you off the hook entirely I shall say 'Dumb arse'. Come clean I say, tough yes but good for a few reasons. The first, you get let go of the guilt. Second get in first and save yourself a whole ... (read in full...)
Was it reasonable for him to get that worked up because I looked so upset by how bad I looked on a photo?
Q. I had an argument with my boyfriend yesterday and I'm wondering if people agree he did it as an excuse not to see me today. We took my daughter out for her birthday yesterday and he ended up taking photos of me when I wasn't looking, he took...
A. 22 February 2016: I think perhaps you both did. I agree it is healthy to be able to sit back and have a bit of a laugh at yourself. That is different from being made a joke of. It may of been said in jest or came across as insulting. I cant determine from a post just ... (read in full...)
Should I be sending risque pics to my boyfriend? Will it get on the internet?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months and we have a very close relationship. He is an incredibly sweet person and I honestly trust him with anything. The other day we were talking and it just so happened that he sent me a topless ...
A. 19 February 2016: Think about this...what happens when you don't do some thing he asks, say like have sex? He could retaliate by showing them to everyone, at school, on the Internet even your parents. Nice people sometime do not nice things when circumstances change. ... (read in full...)
What have I done to these women? How should I respond if a similar situation arises?
Q. Does anyone else struggle in social settings? I'm a young mum and my 3 year old was invited to her friends Birthday party. We went along and I seen none of the Mums I speak to from the Nursery were there, and I was the youngest Mum. I tried b...
A. 19 February 2016: Bunch of cows. You have done nothing probably other than remind them of just how taut they were once. With age, not always comes wisdom just bitchyness. If there is a next time a simple 'No...I dont think so" and leave it at that.... (read in full...)
My married boyfriend is acting distant but he still wants to be with me. I am not sure what's going on?
Q. Please no judgment. I have been having an affair with a married man for close to 3 years. It's been amazing. But lately he seems a little more distant. His texts are less frequent and shorter. He says he is just being cautious. He sexted me ...
A. 18 February 2016: He sounds very much the puppet master and you the marionette. To have that kind of sexual and emotional power over some can be very seductive. I'm no expert but he sounds like he has similar traits of a sexual narcissist. Typically, you serve his ... (read in full...)
Why do some folks gossip so much?
Q. Why do folks gossip so much? Heard a couple of women from work gossiping about our Manager and her estranged relationship with her husband. Am not a fan of my manager but these two women did grow in the organization because of her- where is the...
A. 18 February 2016: Talking trash about others sometimes makes the stench of their own lives a bit more bearable. ... (read in full...)
My husband has started texting women he's met through facebook. Should I worry?
Q. My husband and I have been together about 7 years and he has recently been texting women through Facebook. He says it’s all innocent flirting. These women are in other countries. I expressed to him that I was uncomfortable with him talking to these ...
A. 18 February 2016: Well if it's innocent flirting then it's ok then...NOT! your his bloody wife for pete sake.You hubby has one hell of a cheek. How them being in another country is supposed to justify his actions is simply imbecile. The world can become a very ... (read in full...)
Is it love or just habit? Can a husband truly love his wife if he cheats for years?
Q. Can a man cheating on his wife for four plus years really love her? Even if he was straying because of sex- something that he is not getting in his marriage? He doesn't love the other woman- don't know if he cares for her or just using her for ...
A. 17 February 2016: "But is there really love there or just habit?"
I cant see how it matters really.If there is love, he still cheated. If the marriage is just routine and habit, he still cheated. Being cheated on hurts, humiliates and rock... (read in full...)
I'm living with a girl who still has boyfriend. She says she'll end it with him when things are right
Q. So I've been seeing this girl now, but she has a boyfriend. ive been basically living at her place for a couple weeks now and she tells me she loves me and wants to be with me. Shes very close with his family and they have been together for a long ...
A. 16 February 2016: Her issues with her bf are her issues with her bf and not something you should really be concerning yourself with. It's her relationship and for her to sort out before dragging you into it. Maybe she is in love with you, maybe your just a thrill on ... (read in full...)
33 year old wife being hit on by a couple
Q. oman, my husband took a promotion at work to get into management. I didn't understand why he needed to take it because he gets the jobs that no one else wants and is constantly away from home for long periods of time. This has put a strain on our ...
A. 16 February 2016: Ask your husband how he feels about it, if he would be interested too. If he is up for it then all groovy. if not and you still choose to catch up knowing the likely outcome then you're cheating and like you say your marriage is in a bit of ... (read in full...)
would you be checking out hot babes on the internet while your girlfriend is sitting next to you?
Q. Guys, help me out here. I know men are visual, I've heard that many times. They like to look at the female body, my question is, would you be checking out hot babes on the internet while your girlfriend is sitting next to you? and making comments, ...
A. 15 February 2016: Grrrrrrrr..makes me so angry when blatant disrespectful behaviour is thrown in ones face as jealousy. I personally don't have a problem with beautiful women, even comment sometimes myself, but I would find it rather predictably annoying if I had to ... (read in full...)
I think my so called boyfriend spent valentines with someone else
Q. I was supposed to see him on the Saturday but I never heard from him and I text him in the afternoon to check whether it was still on,he didn't reply so I tried calling a couple hours later but he'd switched his phone off.he phoned back at about 10 ...
A. 15 February 2016: He told you to "Fuck off and go away" . Not only is he unreliable he sounds like a pig and a disrespectful one at that. It is just as easy to say "my girlfriend" as it is to say "nobody" when asked. I think he knows you know that he has been up to ... (read in full...)
Did my boyfriend lie about where he was yesterday afternoon? Could he have cheated on me??
Q. I am in desperate need of help. So desperate I am reaching out to strangers on the internet. But I feel like I already know some of you by reading your advice. Yes, I have been here before seeking comfort and help. And here I am again. I ...
A. 13 February 2016: Could it be that he never bothered to mention it because he knew you already knew about it? It makes sense to me that if my partner asked me about my day I would be telling them all that they didn't know. Being constantly accused of cheating when ... (read in full...)
I know he's been lying about contact with his ex but should I let it go as he suggests?
Q. My boyfriend broke my trust last year in July. We had been together for two years and during the beginning of our relationship his ex would always call him until a point she became a distraction to us. He said he blocked her and stopped being in ...
A. 13 February 2016: "Move on", "get over it"...are the words of most cheaters. It's not for your benefit in order for them wanting you to heal, but theirs not wanting to be reminded of being arse holes. As for him thinking putting the past in the past is an easy task- ... (read in full...)
I'd like to get to know my biological father but I know it will upset my mom and possibly him and his family too
Q. this is sort of the confusing story but I will do the best I can.I had a baby 2 years ago by a boyfriend I had been dating for 2 years before that. my mom my adopted father liked him ok, but they really didn't like me having a boyfriend because my ...
A. 13 February 2016: And so you should. This is your BIRTH RIGHT. I can can understand that you don't wish to up set mum and step dad but you know what...too bad. In fact, from what you write I think they are very cruel to be bringing out in the open all this ... (read in full...)
My mom doesn't want me to sleep with my boyfriend yet but I've already done it 5 times!
Q. But if a weird question here, just looking for advice. I've been going out with my boyfriend for 4 months now (we're both 17) and we started sleeping together after 2 months but only when I've gone to his house and I'm not allowed to stay over at ...
A. 12 February 2016: Mums just worried about you thats all. Starting a sexual relationship is not always just about the physical it is about the emotional and psychological too. I guess she, as her little girl, just wants to make sure that you are ready on all levels so ... (read in full...)
I found dirty underwear in the car that wasn't mine. Threw them away and now wondering if my husband is cheating
Q. Hello, this is actually my first time posting on social media. I just feel I have no where really to turn to. Last week I found dirty underwear in my car that weren't mine. When I found them I thought nothing really of it and threw them away ...
A. 10 February 2016: You don't need proof in order to justify asking him about what you know you saw. This is a HUGE RED FLAG. Dirty female knickers don't just fly in through the window. ... (read in full...)
I found dirty underwear in the car that wasn't mine. Threw them away and now wondering if my husband is cheating
Q. Hello, this is actually my first time posting on social media. I just feel I have no where really to turn to. Last week I found dirty underwear in my car that weren't mine. When I found them I thought nothing really of it and threw them away ...
A. 10 February 2016: You don't need proof in order to justify asking him about what you know you saw. This is a HUGE RED FLAG. Dirty female knickers don't just fly in through the window. ... (read in full...)
Bf is taking me to the same restaurant he took his ex for valentine's day
Q. I found out my boyfriend is taking me to the same place he took his ex for vday 5 years ago. how do i know this his sister accidentally mentioned it to me, said oh i didn't know he is taking you to the same place he went wit his ex. Would you all ...
A. 10 February 2016: Ah men are from Venus-Woman from Mars, aren't they? I mean of all the restaurants right! I see what you are saying but I think it is more a case of him wanting to take you somewhere nice. If he mentions her whilst there...
"Ahem...cheque plea... (read in full...)
Does being friends with benefits ever work out?
Q. I am a 42 year old single man. One of my best friends is a 33 year old single woman. We have never been romantic in any way but recently my friend told me in a joking way that she would give me oral sex if I took care of some things around her hous...
A. 10 February 2016: Yes and no, depends on the two concerned. i think the key is being up front and honest about the boundaries and no questions asked policy when one or both want out? A favour here, sleep over there can quickly have one confused that they some how ... (read in full...)
My younger husband likes to tell me that no one else will have me because I'm older
Q. I am older than my husband. Every time me and my controlling abusive husband have an argument he will say no one else will have me as I am old ( early forties, which no one believes my age) and will use a load of vulgar language towards me. I have ...
A. 10 February 2016: Your husband it mean and quite frankly an a***hole. Typical beat down language of an emotional abuser. He has you, so what does than say about him then? Sound like you would be better matched to someone closer in age instead of having to listen to ... (read in full...)
Is it a turn off if a girl has a very high sex drive?
Q. Hi all, I have a slightly weird question. I'm 18 and have a very high sex drive, I have a boyfriend if 4 months and he is now realising how horny I am. At the minute he seems fine with it but Id just like to ask is it a turnoff? I'm literally ...
A. 10 February 2016: No, not if you are sexually compatible.... (read in full...)
Why does he keep flirting with me when he is married?
Q. Guy at work was flirting with me for about 6wks then I asked him out for a drink. He refused stating if he was not married he would, than proceeded to let me know how flattered he was,and lets continue to be friends. So I said I was sorry for ...
A. 10 February 2016: Don't be confused-he just loves the attention and needs the reassurance that he still has what it takes! Be polite, but steer clear.... (read in full...)
I have a foot fetish and want to suck my wife's toes. How do I tell her?
Q. Might be a weird question to some.. I have a foot fetish, I would love to suck on my wife's toes during sex but for fear of looking weird I never told her. 6yrs later we are married and I still would like to do this. But how do I bring it up with...
A. 10 February 2016: No, not weird at all. I can see just how appealing a well manicured foot or pair can be a turn on. No different to being turned on by a personality the way I see it. She is your wife man, why should you not be able to tell her even better why do ... (read in full...)
Can't trust my boyfriend's motives
Q. Hi! Been with my boyfriend six months and have been very happy. I'm supposed to meet his parents this summer. I was kinda hurt that he didn't wanna spend time with my family (they had asked if he'd wanna come bowling). But he said it wasn't his ...
A. 9 February 2016: Cindy cares got it right-don't over think things. He probably just thought about how it must of come across and a bit unfair and has simply realised having a change of heart. None of us are perfect and sometimes are guilty of bad judgment calls.... (read in full...)
Post threesome drama...what to do when you want to stay friends??
Q. So I've been dating my boyfriend for over year now and we haven't had any issues in the past. But, recently I had cheated on him, for what seems to be no reason at all, in a threesome. The other girl in the threesome is my best friend and her then ...
A. 9 February 2016: I assume he knows that you two work together so it is inevitable that there will be times to catch up? That you don't really have a lot of control over. To be honest, regardless that she is a woman, she is the very person, in addition to yourself, ... (read in full...)
If your boyfriend was cheating would he suggest you follow him to see he is innocent?
Q. If you worry your boyfriend is cheating on you and tell him that you are worried about this, if he was GUILTY would he tell you point blank to follow him around and be discreet so that you can put your mind at ease? My boyfriend told me to follo...
A. 9 February 2016: Not if he wants to fool you into thinking otherwise. I see it two ways. One, IF he was, what better way to throw you of kilt than suggesting all is honest and above board. just lulling you into a false sense of security.He would know you are there ... (read in full...)
Is it worth it to force my wife to talk about a 2 year affair she had years ago? We never talked about it and she doesn't want to now
Q. Ladies....Do you think its worth trying to insist that my wife and i talk about a two year affair that she had MANY years ago, that at the time, we never really did talk about,other than me telling her to end it or else it was going to be the end ...
A. 8 February 2016: Did you have the one night stand before hand OR as a result of her affair? Because if it was you first and you did not given her any reason or explanation for doing so is why she may feel she owes you likewise. If that is the case maybe it is ... (read in full...)
Friend's wedding plans will break the bank
Q. My best friend is getting married in May this year and has asked my 5 year old daughter to be a bridesmaid. Of course my daughter is excited as this is her 1st time. We went looking for bridesmaid dresses and my friend is having to them m...
A. 8 February 2016: Bridezilla in the making. No friend in my opinion would want to impose such an imposition given your now financial situation nor feel justified in making such rude comments. Regardless of if I could afford it or not, there is no way I would be ... (read in full...)
What are reliable methods of contraception other than condoms?
Q. Hello, Please I need some advice here. I've been with my bf for about 2 years now.we haven't had sex. We are both virgins. Now we both want to have sex but I'm afraid of getting pregnant. He suggested that we should use condom but I don't think I'...
A. 6 February 2016: Condom preference is a personal thing. Some like it, some don't. So i would 't rule it out until you have tried it. Generally, if used properly are a good choice. When I say properly I mean: In date, put on properly and if needed lubricant like KY ... (read in full...)
What are possible reasons why my Bf and I are having these difficulties when having sex?
Q. Hello I have recently begun my first sexual relationship and I just need some help? I've had sex with my boyfriend 4 times now and each time he's struggled to get it in? It's not being too dry that's an issue but maybe I'm too wet? I don't know but ...
A. 6 February 2016: Could be that he no not quite hard enough.Being too wet is not going to stop him being able to penetrate. Could be something like inexperience and a bit of nerves. I wouldn't be thinking either of you are doing anything wrong, rather just need to ... (read in full...)
Did this married man just make fun of me, or was he falling in love with me?
Q. Hi. I've been attracted with this married guy for almost two years. When i first saw him i had a crush on him and i long to see him often. Last month we started exchanging messages. He said he wanted to know me better. We spent time together ...
A. 6 February 2016: I don't think he was making fun of you, rather than he came darn close to betraying his wife and marriage. Just a realisation that he had made a mistake. The woman he loves is his wife. Leave him be, finally he has done the right thing by not ... (read in full...)
I really love her,but she is my teacher!
Q. Hi everyone!I'm 17 years old girl and this year I fell in love with my new geography female teacher.I don't know if I'm straight,homo or bi but actually I even don't care about this now.I can't stop thinking about her,even for a second.I'm sure that ...
A. 6 February 2016: The very thought of having a sexual encounter with a woman I find unappealing- However I have had a girl crush myself. I just couldn't help myself being attracted to this woman. i remember thinking 'If only you were a man' because at times my ... (read in full...)
Does it make one a terrible person if he or she does not want to see someone else because they've been together with too many people sexually?
Q. Does it make one a terrible person if he or she does not want to see someone else because they've been together with too many people sexually? My boyfriend said it doesn't and shouldn't matter, but I feel like I wouldn't want to be with someone who ...
A. 6 February 2016: I don't think so-no. He doesn't meet your standards. If thats something of a turn off for you there is nothing wrong with that. ... (read in full...)
How do I accept, let go, and move on?
Q. How best can I accept an apology I never got (and never will), let go and move on? I am trying very hard to let go of the anger I feel- but it comes in waves- and unexpectedly. So many negative feelings- anger, disgust, resentment, guilt, shame. How ...
A. 6 February 2016: Were you mislead into thinking he was not married/divorced etc because that does happen,married people lie and most certainly your deserve an apology of some sort. If, however you were a fully aware willing participant, an apology you deserve ... (read in full...)
I broke up with him a year ago. Is it okay to wish him a happy birthday this year?
Q. I dated someone for three months a year ago. We had a wonderful relationship but realized we wanted different things in life. We ended up having a serious talk on his birthday and I ended up breaking up with him. It was on decent terms but he was ...
A. 5 February 2016: I wouldn't. A year seems like too long of a time to warrant a birthday wish and it does seem a bit rich when it was his b'day that you ended things. Chances are he has well and truly moved and a bit too random to be getting a response. IMHO if it ... (read in full...)
Is it too late for me to get married and have a family?
Q. Well i'm 50, In fact today i'm 50. Not a life threatening event but still an event. You see i have cared for my parents and sister for the last 25 years. I lost my sister 2 years ago and both my parents last year. They were my life, i gave up on ...
A. 4 February 2016: Marriage no, of course not. You sound like a nice man and deserve to find happiness. But does that happiness have to equate to having a biological child/ren? The reason I ask is there are some pretty awesome "ready made" families just waiting for ... (read in full...)
Shall I continue with this charade, in an effort to expose his cheating ?
Q. Hi, I am little embarrassed to say this but I just found a profile of my bf on match.com, the profile is active and it has his name and age and a couple photos also.. He says he's single and looking for female from 21-34. He's 29. I am 37... I feel ...
A. 3 February 2016: Tell him out right:
I noticed your profile on match.com says your single...too right, we're done! ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a guy to only want anal and never vaginal sex?
Q. I recently met a guy from a dating site. The first time we met, we engaged in anal sex without a condom (he had a fantasy of ejaculating inside my anus) as a way to avoid pregnancy. Everytime we meet he only wants to have anal and never vaginal. ...
A. 1 February 2016: Don't worry about what he wants, worry about what you want for pete sake! This sounds like a whole lot of crazy starting at first date anal sex without a condom. If you want it to stop then put a stop to it ,if he don't like it too bad sayonara!... (read in full...)
The cake fiasco. What do you think?
Q. Hi, Hoping for some advice as I'm completely embarrassed and annoyed by a situation! My friend recently turned 30 and for her birthday I had a novelty cake made for her as a surprise. A colleague of mine suggested a lady she knows, who has ...
A. 31 January 2016: Hope you took a picture. I'd review and upload the picture, the amount charged and details, including her attitude. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend, his Mermaid, and me. Was he disrespectful to add a mermaid? How should I handle this?
Q. I will try to make this short and sweet. My boyfriend (we have been dating for a 1.5 year broke up a few times for 2 weeks). He is a big tattoo guy, He has a sleeve and half a sleeve on the other arm. I don't mind them, as I think they look nic...
A. 31 January 2016: Mermaids aren't real and neither is she. Think no more of it I say... (read in full...)
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