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| | *abrielle Stoker's profile:Qualified to help people? Don't really know. Am in my twenties, currently working in the hospitality industry. Very open-minded on sex, probably too active for my own good. Flatter myself into thinking I'm reasonably intelligent and believe that my upbringing, difficult as it was, has given me a decent perspective on life. |
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My sister's tragic death and my parents' misdirected blame at my bestman for it are causing me strife
Q. My friend was lived with my sister for three years. My parents never liked him and gave my sister a lot of problems over him. My poor sister died of a heart attack. It was tragic. She died in her sleep right next to him. He was asleep and ...
A. 9 June 2010: Is it possible to ask your friend not to come? Friends are generally more understanding than relatives - or is that not an option. If it isn't, you'd better tell your parents not to come before the wedding date comes around.... (read in full...)
Dating "out of your league"?
Q. I'm wondering what people think of the idea of someone being out of your league and whether you think being in different leagues can cause problems in a relationship. You see, I normally end up dating hollywood-looking guys, not because I'm very ...
A. 9 June 2010: If you don't let him feel it, he'll surely learn to get over it. Anyway, 'leagues' are arbitrarily defined boundaries. If you love him and show that you do, why should he feel he's out of your league?... (read in full...)
I'm 15, so that means I'm more likely to be pregnant?
Q. okay so i had sex with my boyfriend the 3rd of june, my last period ended may 19th. anyways my boyfriend didnt pull out during sex, i dont know why he didnt! i'm so worried that i could be pregnant now..isnt it 2 weeks after my period the best time ...
A. 9 June 2010: Get to a clinic, sweets...you couldn't have done things more perfectly if you were trying to get pregnant.... (read in full...)
Laughing before/during/and after orgasm?
Q. I am a 27-year-old and married guy. Whenever I have sex with my wife and when I am about to cum, I start laughing! I can't control it! It continues during and after (for like 3 minutes) I cum. I love the feeling but I dont like the way my wife ...
A. 9 June 2010: I had a friend who could stop grinning and laughing during the entire act, especially when the guy she was with would be ejaculating on her. Perfectly normal, really. Some cry, some laugh.... (read in full...)
Every week she brings home a strange man she's just met!
Q. im really scared for my friends safety and i dont know what to do. i used to try the soft approach but ive now started telling her exactly how it is and she is still being so stupid. She is 22 and has had 67 sexual partners. we live together an...
A. 9 June 2010: There's prbably no nice way to put this to her, so don't try. You need to look at your safety first. Get out of there ASAP - am sure you can find another room-mate if your look. Talk to the landlord/university official in charge. I know she's your ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says if we have a baby he will settle down with me and stop hanging out on the streets, what should I do?
Q. hi i'm 17 and my boyfriend is 18 and wants to have a baby but he is alway out in the streets he say's if we have a baby he will settle down with me. What should i do?...
A. 8 June 2010: This would count amongst the worst reasons to have a baby. Seriously.
TimmD has the right advise below.... (read in full...)
Help me deal with girlfriends STD's!
Q. I have a very difficult situation that I have not been able to get any solid advice on. First, i will start out with some background on my relationship. I met her last summer, she was a mutual friend of a friend. We hit it off almost immediate...
A. 8 June 2010: You've gotten yourself into a Seinfeld-situation. Stay with her a while - for heaven's sake, avoid sex, and break-up when she's healthier.... (read in full...)
How many is too many? She's had 10 sexual partners in 3 years
Q. Hi all, I am 21 yrs old and I'm seeing a new girl right now. We've been dating for quite a while now, but she said something that concerned me. She is 21 also and lost her virginity at age 18 and has since gone off and had 10 sexual partners since ...
A. 7 June 2010: There's something almost 'cute' about this :) 'Too many' is subjective, you know. It's more about what you think since there cannot be an objective measure.
I lost my virginity at fifteen and had 3 partners in the five years that followed. In two ... (read in full...)
Teenage daughter having an affair with a married man
Q. Please help, my 19 yr old daughter is having an affair with a married man. My daughter has been babysitting for a local family for the last 2 summers. Recently I was looking at pictures on her computer and I noticed pictures of the family she ...
A. 7 June 2010: You really can't do much, can you? Tell her you think it's a mistake, tell her WHY you think it's a mistake, and tell her that when he dumps her (which he will) you will be there for her.
What else CAN you do? As she pointed out, she's old enou... (read in full...)
My girlfriend got drunk and took her top off with a group of other people. Should I be worried??
Q. My girlfriend and I recently attended my best friends wedding. After the reception, everyone was pretty drunk. And myself along with several other people (two who were good friends of mine) continued drinking and partying in the hotel (we had the ...
A. 7 June 2010: If it's a one-off incident and not part of a pattern, you should definitely forgive her. Sometimes nice people do silly things under the influence of alcohol. ... (read in full...)
My dad was such a jerk! How do I deal with this and stop my annoyance from consuming me?
Q. Grrr.. In so frustrated at what happened last night after going for a meal with my family! It was my boyfriends birthday and we decided to take him out to eat, I said it'd be my treat because my bf always pays for everything when we go out. ...
A. 7 June 2010: Yikes! It's like an episode from a sitcom here. Not much you can actually DO about it, though, hey? Consider a debit to the 'Life's lessons' account.... (read in full...)
My wife's sexual past has made me lose respect for her.
Q. cant seem to stop thinking about my wifes past past sexual history.In1972I met my wife New Years Eve in an Old Boys Rugby Club we kissed the new year in although she told she had kissed 80 others that night.To cut a long story short that evening I ...
A. 7 June 2010: If you're bothered by something that happened 38 years ago, I feat it is her present and not her past that's really bothering you.
Look, the things she's done might well be interpreted as being pretty dumb/immoral etc. Surely she also realses ... (read in full...)
Not Your Typical Obsession With Wife's Past - Any Ideas?
Q. I'm haunted by one night of my wife's life when she had sex with a total stranger. I never did this, and girls that do have never been my type. My wife did not tell me about this until we were just about to get married. Before I was going to ask her ...
A. 7 June 2010: Kama has an almost identical question at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-do-anonymous-flings-and-oral-sex-differ.html
You can go thru that thread and see if you get any ideas.... (read in full...)
She's telling other guys she loves them
Q. My question is sort of a long one, but I will try and get straight to the point. For 9 months me and this girl have been very close. We do things boyfreind and girlfreind do but she's always dating another guy. And whenever she's about to dump the ...
A. 7 June 2010: Based on the facts stated by you, it appears she's taking you for a ride. You may want to get off at the next station.... (read in full...)
Can sex be SO great for guys that it is worth being treated poorly by a girlfriend?
Q. Can sex be SO great for guys that it is worth being treated poorly by a girlfriend? One of my guy friends has a GF who treats him like garbage -- she's always hinting for gifts and spends a ton of his money, she complains that friends of his have ...
A. 7 June 2010: Different strokes for different blokes. Some guys like being mis-treated. Some are just afraid to pull out of a relationship. It's like the guy who continues to work for a job which he hates, but which pays him well because he's not sure he'll get ... (read in full...)
Why do men find fake women such a turn on?
Q. A question for men about lads mags...I'm just curious as to why so many men find the kind of women in mens magazines so sexy? I mean, typically, the women you see in these magazines, have fake tan, lots of make up, and fake breasts. What exactly is ...
A. 7 June 2010: There are no universal rules of attraction, you know. These girls in Lad's Mags are generally pretty faces with slim waists, which most men are hard-wired to appreciate. Hell I'm a pretty face with a slim waist (though I don't go overboard with ... (read in full...)
I often feel really guilty after orgasming, whether it be from oral or masterbating
Q. Hi Aunts, I've noticed that I often feel really guilty after orgasming, whether it be from oral or masterbating. I feel like I've got better at dealing with it (physically - I used to just tense up and freak out), but the mental problems are stil...
A. 7 June 2010: Hi- umm it's not that uncommon to feel that way and you already seem to know that it's no a reasonable feeling to have. The problem seems to be a communication between the part of your brain that reasons that it is normal to have an orgasm and the ... (read in full...)
I'm too scared to tell anyone I might be pregnant
Q. Haaay, I'm 15, and My Boyfriend is 14. I'm not sure but i think i might be Pregnant. I dont have the guts to talk to my parents and i even chickened out on talking to my brother and his girlfriend incase im not pregnant i dont want them to knw...
A. 7 June 2010: You'll have to take a test, you know. Or wait and see if you miss your period completely. If you're sure you are pregnant, do talk to someone about it. If you're not, at least the scare will teach you to use protection.... (read in full...)
I feel like I've missed out on so much life and all the experiences in college I could've had!
Q. My husband and I met when we were two years old; became inseparable best friends after that. We started dating when we were 14. We got married under our parents' permissions at 17. We had our first child that same year and both doing college an...
A. 7 June 2010: Hi - it's funny, because you've just painted the picture of a happy, fulfilled life and are asking if that isn't enough. I suppose mid-life crises are for everyone. You're still young and can probably enoy a lot of stuff together now (especially if ... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 4 June 2010: I think most of us are waiting to see if you have something to add.
Can I message you seperately? Am not sure I want to put up my own personal experiences up here.... (read in full...)
What do you do with a man you've been there for way before he becomes successful?
Q. Hello Everyone, I am on a break from my boyfriend of 5 years. In the beginning things were great. Our love could be a feature film. We were facing hard times but always had each other to lean on. We went from friends, to best friends, to boyfr...
A. 4 June 2010: Sigh...so unfortunate when that happens - but it does happen rather a lot. Look out for yourself. Make it clear to him that you feel unloved. If he doesn't change, maybe you should?... (read in full...)
Husbands having the best of both worlds without nobody knowning
Q. "OPs Own Title" okay i have this friend that i meet from college (lets call him bob). While my question is we have been friends for about 2years now, and when i meet him he was about to get married but however would still try to get with me on the ...
A. 4 June 2010: You'll have to tell her that bit about him lying to you about being married. Anything else is optional.... (read in full...)
Should I be offended by the comment he made about my appearance?
Q. I'm quite offended by what my boyfriend has done, but i dont know if i should be. He noticed that i have some hair on my face, as some women do, you know the little hairs, and he pointed it out. Dont know why he hasnt noticed that before, and ...
A. 4 June 2010: No you shouldn't. Guys make such comments. It's not worth putting too much thought into it unless he keeps repeating it.... (read in full...)
How high of a risk is pulling out?
Q. How high of a risk is it having sex with out a condom but not cuming in her and I wipped it off be for I put it in her ...
A. 4 June 2010: Very risky. That's why I only let a guy near my mouth if he's not on a condom.... (read in full...)
Help me deal with girlfriends STD's!
Q. I have a very difficult situation that I have not been able to get any solid advice on. First, i will start out with some background on my relationship. I met her last summer, she was a mutual friend of a friend. We hit it off almost immediate...
A. 4 June 2010: I suppose you like her and all that, so the only way forward is to stick with her through the treatment (Is Hep C completely curable? Need to check with a Doctor). Still, she seems very irresponsible in her behavior. Are you sure she deserves you?... (read in full...)
How can you get over the feeling of being lied to from your boyfriend about his porn watching habits?
Q. How can you get over the feeling of being lied to from your boyfriend about his porn watching habits? I've been obsessing over this for the past few days. I almost left him for me being suspicious of him lying after finding sketchy files on his c...
A. 4 June 2010: Well, honestly, what part of it bothers you? The porn bit or the lying bit? If it's the porn bit, re-asses your relationship. If it's the lying bit, tell him up-front that if he confesses, you're willing to accept the fact that he likes porn. Don't ... (read in full...)
I keep dreaming of a male celebrity!
Q. Hello! For over the past week or so I keep dreaming about a certain male celebrity. One night I dreamt that he was going to have sex with me, the next he was sitting in my house and on another occasion, he was walking along the beach with his wife. ...
A. 3 June 2010: Celebrity obsession is not unusual, especially at your age. The intensity you describe is a little too much though. Maybe you'll outgrow it - I suggest having a chat with an intelligent older woman (your mother for example), but if you don't feel ... (read in full...)
How can I make my parents see that even though I'm pregnant I still deserve the wedding of my dreams?
Q. Hello, DearCupid, and thanks for reading. Well, I am 22 years old and my boyfriend and I recently discovered that we are having a baby. We are excited about this idea and plan to stay together and raise our baby together and frankly the ...
A. 3 June 2010: Life never promised you what you want, when you want it. If you're not paying for the wedding yourself, the best you can do is try to talk them over. Just say the things you've said here - but remember you're not 'entitled' to anything. No one is.... (read in full...)
He wants us to be together but there appears to be no love!
Q. I'm 19 and in a relationship with a guy I love very much. We met because we live in the same halls of residence at University. He doesn't treat me like a girlfriend at all and I tell him how I feel all the time. He says he loves me but he makes ...
A. 3 June 2010: Some guys are not particularly affectionate. Personally I like those better than the overly-affectionate idiots that one comes across sometimes. Nonetheless, you'll have to take a call. At 19, you're entitled to look for someone who fits closer with ... (read in full...)
Was it all innocent or does he have something to hide?
Q. I worry my boyfriend has cheated on me when we first started going out, his ex girlfriend is also his best mate an they spend a lot of time together! If one stays round the others over night they will both stay in the same bed, I found this out afte...
A. 3 June 2010: I would be very VERY surprised if he was not cheating on you. Very very.... (read in full...)
what sort of person would I look like faking a pregnancy and abortion?
Q. A few years ago i done something really stupid. I lied to my ex and told him I was pregnant to stop him splitting up with me for another woman he had met. I was totally in love with him and really didnt want to lose him. However, the plan didnt ...
A. 2 June 2010: Hope he doesn't find out. If I was a guy and found this out, I'd be running very quickly in the opposite direction from you.... (read in full...)
How can I confront my mother about masturbating?
Q. I am 13 and female. I have been masturbating since i was 12. I know i am too young to buy a sex toy and my mother and I don't have a very good bond. I'm afraid to ask her to buy one for me. Any advice on how to confront her without being embarrassed ...
A. 1 June 2010: Are you totally unable to manage with your fingers? Try the shower head if you're using a handshower. Small cucumbers might be good too.... (read in full...)
My teacher texts me at least 20 times a day and I really like her, what should I do?
Q. Ok, so I'm 18 and I just graduated from High school, my teacher is 26 and she constantly texts students, I dont know how much she texts the other but with me its atleast 20 a day, we talk all the time and we hang out after school, shes gone with ...
A. 1 June 2010: I take it she's now your ex-teacher, so that certainly reduces the creepiness factor a lot. Your dilemma exists for every kid who's ever wanted to take a friendship to another level. You'll never know unless you ask. At 26 she's not that much older ... (read in full...)
How can I win over his mother?
Q. Hi, I am 26 and my boyfriend is 31. He's Muslim and I'm Christian. I am learning Arabic and plan to convert to Islam. We have been together for over a year. We have been seriously discussing marriage recently. He plans to introduce me to ...
A. 1 June 2010: Are you sure of what you're letting yourself in for? Conversion to Islam is a big step (and, not being religious myselfI certainly don't much comprehend the need to). If you really want to 'win over' this woman, you'll have to be roughly twice as ... (read in full...)
Is it true blowjobs taste awful?
Q. My gf wont give me one because she says they taste awful, but could it just be because of the guy she was with before? She said he had hygiene issues so I was wondering if that could be it. Is there anything that could make it less disgusting if ...
A. 1 June 2010: To answer your fundamental question - Taste is purely subjective.
Now let's break down your query into 2 parts -
1. The taste of your organ
2. The taste of the semen
At this stage I'm not sure if your question relates to 1 or 2.
Re... (read in full...)
Why do I lose interest after I've masturbated?
Q. Why is it that every time I masturbate, as soon as I ejaculate I immediately lose interest. I mean i just stop, clean up, and go on about my day like it never happened. I don't like this because I...when masturbating have deep fantasies, but as soon ...
A. 1 June 2010: FOr masturbation, that is absolutely normal. Try not to do that when you actually are with someone though. We like a little love after the act. ... (read in full...)
Questions from a gal who's new to "everything but"
Q. Moderator note: three questions combined I’ve recently had oral with my boyfriend. It was my first time, but not his. He says he cares more about making me feel good than himself, and wouldn’t mind if I never touched him at all. I feel the same way...
A. 1 June 2010: God, you think too much!
Anyway, let me give this a shot- these are regarding your second set of questions.
1. Do whatever it is you are more comfortable with. It doesn't matter. Gagging would not be much fun, so you may not want to let him move... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 1 June 2010: I agree with what Miamine says - a lot of it is about power in that situation. If you really want to try to understand the mental process behind such an act, I suppose I could try to provide a perspective on that in more detail, but only if you ... (read in full...)
Should I cheat on my sugar daddy with my ex, to satisfy my sexual needs?
Q. I broke up wth my boyfriend of 2yrs,who was 3yrs my senior.an orphan,colege graduate and unemployd.i have a grade 11 younga brother that i need to provide for.so i met this guy. 20 yrs my senior!he is rich,very rich.he owns bussineses and drives the ...
A. 31 May 2010: Dear Ms. Digger,
If your Sugar Daddy is likely to resent your having sex with another man (and he most likely will) you will be in serious trouble. Make a choice, one way or another, and live with it.
Rgds,
G... (read in full...)
How can I forget about her past and forgive her for this?
Q. I,ve got married to a beautiful girl last year, after few month one day she started sharing about her past life, but some how she was not ready to open up, this kept on going for few days. and then the time came when she shared every thing about her ...
A. 31 May 2010: What exactly do you think you need to forgive? So she had a relationship before she knew you. Big deal. Grow up a bit.... (read in full...)
Does a married man flrting mean he wants a fling?
Q. I know I'm going to get in trouble for writing this, but do married men that flirt want to have a fling with you? A married man has been flirting with me for a few months, and I wondered if he ever thought about taking it to the next level. I'm not ...
A. 31 May 2010: He probably doesn't. Don't go down that road. Have a few laughs and let it go.... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 31 May 2010: Interesting question - I guess I can give you a 1st person perspective on this. I indulge in that sort of thing regularly myself and can tell you this - anonymous flings are precisely that: flings. It's the anonymity that makes them attractive - sex ... (read in full...)
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