A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello Everyone, I am on a break from my boyfriend of 5 years. In the beginning things were great. Our love could be a feature film. We were facing hard times but always had each other to lean on. We went from friends, to best friends, to boyfriend and girlfriend. He'd frequently say to me "Why are you with me, I am such a loser". I'd tell him all of the time that his and our time for success will come and that I have faith in him and love him very much. His family and friends all turned their backs on him but he had a goal and with enough inspiration and determination, he eventually graduated from college and took on internships which lead to his current career and a stellar income. He is getting everything he wants and deserves and I am so proud of him and make sure to tell him that as often as I can.Just within the last year, he has changed drastically and has become egotistical. He calls less and barely responds to my texts. This past Christmas holiday I didn't hear from him until the 2nd week in January. He had family over which I knew of, but that didnt excuse him from at least texting me a "Merry Christmas", or a "Happy Holiday". I texted and called him and received no reply but figured he was running his self ragged catering to them because he is a people pleaser. I do not text him often but will send things here and there saying "Enjoy you day baby. xoxo". I know better than to be obsessive because being clingy will not make him budge.I have tried being that loving girlfriend who gives him space as I know he can be very busy, but I am doing many of the same career things including, going to school, working, internship, plus I am helping my mother and grandmother financially; however, I am still in a relationship and expect him to give me the respect of at least a text.He tells me all the time that there is no one else(not that I ever ask), because he is not very comfortable sharing himself with many people(because of past experiences) but I am afraid this new egotistical big town personality will send him looking for someone more up to speed with his "new" life. He is now dressing differently, driving a new car, and doing things he always said he wouldn't do but he still shares his deepest feelings with me which helps me bear with some of these changes, as I know he is just maturing.His friends and family all see his success and are now giving him all of their attention(the attention he always craved for) which is awesome, but we were working on something great too. I now worry, he is outgrowing us and will move on to something bigger and better?When we are together, our intimacy is so passionate/intense and I even cried a bit during our last "encounter" as I am just filled with so many emotions. Not knowing if I am enough anymore, feeling bad that I am questioning his feelings, and because he seems so sorry about it all when we are together. But then when we are apart(4 hours apart) he goes back to his old ways of not calling/return calling for many many days on end.I guess my question is, what do you do with a man you've been there for way before he becomes successful. I asked him for a break because I felt that he is taking me for granted and have noticed a yo-yo effect within our relationship but should I have waited it out?He feels the decision to break was too abrupt and is pissed at the moment.
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a break, best friend, christmas, grandmother, move on, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone. He isn't responding to emails, text, etc and I've just decided to Let go and Let God. He tells me that I let him go at a really bad time in his life and is now playing the no-contact game with me. I am so done. It's time to advance myself. I think I have helped advance him enough. I am hanging tight with my lady friends, increasing my trips to the salon, and preparing for graduation. With the help of some college friends I am also in the midst of starting a non-profit so I am keeping busy while mourning. This feels official and isn't easy but a huge weight has also been lifted. You all are right and I will cherish your advice forever and always. I am not perfect but I know that I deserve a good guy that makes me a priority, not an option.
A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (4 June 2010):
 Sigh...so unfortunate when that happens - but it does happen rather a lot. Look out for yourself. Make it clear to him that you feel unloved. If he doesn't change, maybe you should?
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A
male
reader, Doc-virus +, writes (4 June 2010):
I am a guy and even though you gys have been there for each other, it still does not give him right to act the way he act. With the christmas think he was just wrong and the break was need because he has forget that you love him and that you have feelings. and the thing about been clinging is just over rated love has no obligations or ties its just love.
PS hope you find someone who loves you and appricates you
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