A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know I'm going to get in trouble for writing this, but do married men that flirt want to have a fling with you? A married man has been flirting with me for a few months, and I wondered if he ever thought about taking it to the next level. I'm not saying I would do anything, I just want to know. I'm not the home wrecking type. I'm okay with a little harmless flirting, but I don't want to break up a family. I was just curious. Can any married guys help me out with this?
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female
reader, brunettegirl18 +, writes (3 June 2010):
To anonymous, he was doing this in private. It was mainly just him and I. I don't know, it all confuses me so much.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2010): I'm probably the biggest flirt on the planet. I was that way before I got married and I guess I always will be. My wife knows this. The thing is that I do it in the open in front of everyone. If he is pulling you aside or trying to be secretive then he may have more than flirting on his mind. The difference between a flirt and a cheat is that a flirt only wants to know that he could. A cheat has to prove it to him/herself. Besides I think the fantasy is probably better than the reality anyways.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2010): I am the anonymous male reader and i understand how good it feels to get attention,affection and a little respect sometimes.The problem occurs when your body reacts .Your brain secretes a power adrenaline rush with a chemical called phenylethylamine (PEA) for short.Do the research.This is how people get into affairs.The chemical is so powerful its like cocaine to your body.The rush you feel now is just teasing you.I have experienced it.it is hard to say no with that stuff flowing in your system. The forbidden fruit of being a married guy is all the better to raise the level.I have a daughter your age and i want the best for you.Understanding the process may help you in the future.There will be people in your life that can make you feel special and meet those emotional needs.This guy is reaching you where it feels good but it's not genuine.My advice is to be nice to him but don't play with this fire anymore.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2010): To the anonymous male reader (again I don't know how to verfiy this lol sorry!) I do like the attention. It's fun, but I'm not going to do anything. I don't think he will either.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2010): Why are you even asking this? Get away from him.You are the one asking if he would go to the next level.I think you like the attention and the perceived power it gives you. Any girl that gets sucked into this trap loses.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (31 May 2010):
 He probably doesn't. Don't go down that road. Have a few laughs and let it go.
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A
male
reader, Kama  +, writes (31 May 2010):
 I'd be hurt if I was his wife! Man, if my wife were spicing up her day in this way, I'd divorce her. You're not married though, so you know - I guess do what you will. I wish I knew how to get attractive women to do this with me when I was single though - my work was never quite that interesting. Best to you -
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2010): I don't know how to "verify" that this is the original poster, but it is. Thank you so much for all your incredible answers! I don't think he thought too seriously about having a fling with me, but I do think it at least crossed his mind. Kama, there was smiling, eye contact, he would stand VERY close to me--our bodies were touching, lots of teasing, he would talk about how attractive he is...stuff like that. I agree with most posters saying that it was just interesting and an ego boost for him. I'm ten+ years younger than him, and have been called attractive, so I think it was a way to spice up the day and make life interesting. Straight to the truth, you are right I did think about what it would be like to have an affair with him, but that's all. Nothing came out of it, just some harmless fun. I just wondered what his motives were. Again thanks everyone! :)
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (30 May 2010):
Flirting keeps a marriage alive.
He flirts with you, feels good about himself and then goes home and flirts with his wife and forgets all about you because he's with the woman he loves.
Flirting is great for a marriage. I'm married and I know we both flirt with other people when at work or with friends. But it's just for fun and we are totally devoted to each other.
It just makes life a bit more interesting.
Don't worry about it. If he's getting a bit over friendly then remind him he has a wife and kids!
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, straight to the truth +, writes (30 May 2010):
a little harmless flirting isnt really a problem so long as that is how it stays.
the fact that your asking this question makes me think you would consider taking it further if it was put to you and if he does then you need to remember he is married regardless of what excuses he uses (likely to be...loveless marriage, she cheated on me, she makes no time for me, sexless marriage) keep an eye out for these excuses because if you start hearing this then you know where he is heading.
keep it simple and keep it as harmless little flirting, little things like a wink and compliments are fine, touching.....not good!
hope it all works out for you.
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A
male
reader, Kama +, writes (30 May 2010):
I'm married and sometimes flirt and am flirted with. Mostly very "innocent" kinds of flirting. But when I intend to let a girl know that I think she is attractive by a little more eye contact or smiling it does not mean I want to have a fling. Probably your situation is very different than this, and the answer to your question is impossible to give unless you describe in much more detail how he is flirting with you. If its just very casual recognition of an attractive other, I would say don't take it too seriously. If its physical, very frequent, particularly horny etc - then he probably is aiming to get in your pants. :) Good luck
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 May 2010):
 A harmless flirt is ok. But if he's been keeping it up for several months I am afraid he has passed the point of "harmless". This man is pursuing you, and as long as you are fine with it, he will continue to get closer. So stop flirting back, you are only degrading yourself.
On the other hand, you could be reading too much into this and it really is harmless, or he is unaware that he has gone too far and is in fact harmless. But, tread causally!
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (30 May 2010):
 I'm not married but I know that the act of flirting is so broad and open to interpretation. One persons "flirting" can be another persons "conversation". If he is flirting it could mean anything... Maybe he gets an ego boost from flirting, maybe he is just naturally flirtatious, or maybe more, but there's a big difference between flirting and being inappropriate. Unless he is being inappropriate you'll never really know, so just have fun harmlessly flirting but don't give him a reason to become inappropriate.
Best of luck :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2010): I'm not a married guy, but I'm married woman, with a husband, who is a real flirt. Flirting is ok as long as everyone knows where the lines are drawn. Having said that it is really easy for things to get out of hand. Has he thought about taking it to the next level? Probably.
It's best to stop wondering about what a married man is thinking about, and flirt with a guy who is available.
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