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| | *abrielle Stoker's profile:Qualified to help people? Don't really know. Am in my twenties, currently working in the hospitality industry. Very open-minded on sex, probably too active for my own good. Flatter myself into thinking I'm reasonably intelligent and believe that my upbringing, difficult as it was, has given me a decent perspective on life. |
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Do you believe in spanking your child?
Q. Do you believe in spanking your child? I've heard people say they believe in it and others believe that its wrong. Personally, i believe in it if they are out of control and have been warned repeatedly. Don't judge, it was how i was raised and my ...
A. 21 June 2011: My brother and I were occassionally at the receiving end of a smack or two. It was very infrequent but I think it did go some way towards instilling a sense of right and wrong. ... (read in full...)
BF's fatigue affecting his erections. He took Cialis and now there is a different issue. How can I bring this up without hurting him?
Q. My boyfriend is a lathe operator at a mill and works extremely long hours. His job is demanding and drains a lot of his energy. Sometimes this affects his ability to get an erection. I don't really worry about this; it's not frequent and if it ...
A. 21 June 2011: Tell him you'd rather he didn't take it, I mean honestly, seven hours must be torture! Not even the most seasoned porn star can handle that much, I mean I should know!... (read in full...)
How does ballet "objectify" women?
Q. How does ballet objectify women? I am a dancer, I've danced for 7 years, and i do ballet, jazz, tap, and pointe but have also done lyrical and jazz funk. I heard recently that ballet apperently "objectifies women". I have never felt this way, ever. ...
A. 17 June 2011: Objectification is always more in the eyes of the person doing the objectifying than the person being objectified. A lecherous man (or woman, for that matter) can look at the most modestly dressed woman as nothing more than a sex object (happens all ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't last more than 5 minutes when we have sex!
Q. My boyfriend can't last more than 5 minutes when we have sex.. It is so uncomfortable.. I love him dearly but I'm not satisfied. We've talked about it but all he can say is he can't help it.. He blames it on the size of his penis.. What should I ...
A. 15 June 2011: Sounds like my sort of guy. Not a time waster. In a way its a compliment to you, but yes I can see how it would get irritating for someone who doesn't orgasm easily herself. Can he get you off by oral or at least fingering? That works for a lot of ... (read in full...)
Multiple orgasms must be amazing - WHY don't women want to have sex all day?
Q. Ever since I was with my first "serious" girlfriend, I've envied womens' ability to have multiple orgasms. When she got going, she'd have one after another with only a few seconds (if that) in between for a couple minutes, I'd have my one "little" ...
A. 15 June 2011: Well I'm multi-orgasmic and I guess we do have other things to do, like holding down jobs and doing household chores and cooking and so on and so forth...
To be honest, though, I do want to have some sort of sexual contact all day. However,... (read in full...)
Have I hooked up with too many guys?
Q. I've hooked up with 12 guys, but have only had sex with 2 of them. hooking up might be nakedness, oral, or hand jobs....is that a lot? im 25 :(...
A. 14 June 2011: The saying goes "If you have to ask, it probably is..." though I don't necc. subscribe to that. It's one of those things where the individual's mileage may vary. Why do you think it's too much? If you're comfortable with who you are and the ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't she reply to a text or a facebook message? She talks to me in person!
Q. So, there's this girl I like. When she sees me at a party she'll come talk to me and give me a hug without me even attempting to talk to her, but if I text her or send her a message on Facebook she hardly ever replies. I can't figure out why she'd ...
A. 14 June 2011: Maybe she's just too polite to snub you in person.
More likely, she does like talking to you but isn't a text or facebook person.
Frankly, I'm not one either. Emails, I like. It lets me express myself properly. Texts, not so much. Facebook, ... (read in full...)
Trying to come to terms with being 3 months pregnant and getting hate texts from the father and his wife.
Q. i started meetin a fellow which i taught to be very nice. was seeing him for about two months when he told my sister that he would like to get me pregnant but for as i have 3 kids myself i felt like i had my lot and was in no way interested in havin ...
A. 14 June 2011: I'll disagree with Honeypie to the extent that you need to sue these people for as much child support as you can get. This is nothing short of harassment. ... (read in full...)
Should I apologize to my religious friend?
Q. Well...I made an offensive joke to my friend who is trying to be religious now. Sometimes I'm a bit harsh and so I made a joke and I told her she cannot watch a movie with Witches and Wizards if she believes in God. (I said that because she told...
A. 14 June 2011: I have nothing against Christians (though I do have a lot against nuts of any religion) but this girl doesn't sounds much like a friend. Apologize if you wish - it would be the well-bred thing to do, and breeding is everything - but it may be time ... (read in full...)
I really connected with my boyfriend's friend during our threesome, I need advice!
Q. Hey, I'm new here trying this out in need of a lil advice. My boyfriend and I had a 3some this weekend with one of his friends. It was a long time coming. I think his friend is really hot. Anyways, during us doing it, I felt a different conn...
A. 14 June 2011: Are you thinking "connected" as in "I want to leave my boyfriend for this guy" or "wow, sex was fun, let's try that again"?
If its the first, you should really think about it. You don't break up a relationship or start a new one purely on the basi... (read in full...)
Is this mom interested in me?
Q. Hey guys. I'm a married dad with two sons. One of the mom's at my son's school has asked me for a play date with our kids. What does this mean? Could she be interested in me? Don't the moms usually ask each other? Should I say yes? Just wondering ...
A. 14 June 2011: Trust me, sometimes a playdate is just a playdate. Unless she's openly flirting with you, that's REALLY all there is to it.... (read in full...)
Does a boy like a girl who always agrees?
Q. Hello everyone..I want to ask that is it good to say yes to your boyfriend for whatever he asks for.. Does a boy likes a girl who always agree for everything even physical contacts??...
A. 10 June 2011: In my experience, men find a woman like that boring.
Unless, of course, the man in question is an ego-maniac with limited intellect but a highly inflated sense of self-worth (basically most men at the top of corporate ladders).
The thing is,... (read in full...)
Is it unreasonable to ask your boyfriend to get tested for STDs?
Q. Is it unreasonable to ask your boyfriend to get tested for STD's? I get tested every year at my check up because you never know what someone else is doing and my job has some exposure risks. He has never been tested. We have a sexual relationship, ...
A. 10 June 2011: Getting tested regularly is an integral part of being a responsible adult in a relationship. Given that I get around a lot, it's obvious that I get myself tested, but I think in these times, being squeamish about being tested for STD's (or anything ... (read in full...)
How do I know if my feelings toward pregnancy are normal?
Q. I am 25 years old right now going to be 26 years old this year, All 4 of my Best friends have Kids, and so i am a bit Confused about how i feel on wanting to have Kids, I feel scared when i think of me being Pregnant, I mean like i am confused on if ...
A. 9 June 2011: Perfectly normal, really. Not everyone feels genetically obliged to procreate.
Maybe your views will change over time, but at 25 you do have the luxury of time. Your boyfriend may think he doesn't, but it's pretty important that YOU are comforta... (read in full...)
Is a long-term, happy marriage even possible?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm 25 and although I've always thought I want to get married someday, I'm starting to wonder if ANYONE ever stays truly happily married. Almost everyone I know has been cheated on or cheated on their significant other. The way I lo...
A. 9 June 2011: Look around you - aren't there old, happily married couples at ALL in your circle of acquaintances?
My parents have been married for just over thirty years and do seem to be very much in love. Certainly they are both at a very happy place in their... (read in full...)
Oral sex on my boyfriend for an hour, normal??
Q. the other day i gave oral sex to my boyfriend (who ive been with for a couple months now) for the first time, ive done it once before that and it was finished in about 10 minutes, which ive been told is normal, but when i did it to boyfriend it went ...
A. 6 June 2011: Some guys don't come easily from oral, or even not at all. That is to say, it's not you, it's him. Don't sweat it, he's surely enjoyed it.... (read in full...)
Am I stupid for passing up this chance at a great school for a girl who doesn't love me?
Q. I have done things that are quite stupid because I love a girl but she doesn't love me. For example, I got into a school which only take in 5 people in sixth form and this year more than 300 talented students applying because it has 27% of Oxbridge ...
A. 3 June 2011: Oh yes, quite irrational. It's not about the girl, it's about your future. At your age, unless you have a trust fund, career should be a priority.... (read in full...)
Am I the only straight woman with a High Sex Drive?
Q. Hey. I'm just wondering i'm the only straight woman with a high sex drive. I want to have sex with men and only men. I find most woman who want sex like crazy tend to be bisexual, i'm wondering if i'm a unicorn?...
A. 3 June 2011: Umm.. no, pretty guilty of the same here. I'm very very mildly bi, to the extent that it barely counts. In any case, my sex drive is very male-focussed.... (read in full...)
Do men find skinny girls sexier than curvy girls?
Q. I want you opinions men and women! I want to know do men find skinny girls sexier than curvy girls? i used to be rake thin and prided my self on that but now im older i have got bigger and im worried men wont fancy me as me! Given a choice what sort ...
A. 30 May 2011: Generally, men love women who are neither straight lines not spheres. Basically men don't like women who remind them of 3-rd grade geometry (though exceptions abound).
I've always been slim without being "thin" and I've never had a problem ... (read in full...)
Oral Sex Can Be A Sharing Experience - Swallowing IS Equal...
Q. I am in my early fifties and my man is as well. We've only recently become intimate and I was not involved with anyone for a few years prior. So, I had a long time to think about sexuality and what I would do when back into it. My thoughts are tha...
A. 25 May 2011: Can't talk about oral sex without a post from me now, can you? :)
OP you remind me of me, sort of. I agree that giving oral is a loving thing to do but frankly I like it for its own sake. There's something about having a penis in my mouth that no ... (read in full...)
Penis size insecurities......
Q. OK, so we've seen the barrage of penis size questions. Got me so curious I decided to actually measure mine. What I encountered was that it may be impossible to get an accurate measurement because there are probably 13 ways to measure it. I know ...
A. 25 May 2011: I remember once being with a guy who called himself Longjohn. 11 inches, but no thicker than a couple of straws. Still fun, but just shows there's more aspects to it than are immediately obvious...
Fat makes a difference too. My enormous... (read in full...)
Just how likely is my penis size going to be a problem when I do become sexually active?
Q. This will seem like it's verging on a question I've seen asked a hundred or more times across the net, but bear with. Does size matter? I've read up on it enough to have my own thoughts on this, but it's still playing on my mind a lot. I've rece...
A. 25 May 2011: I've had more of these one-night stands than most. What you have sounds like a perfectly good package. Don't stress.... (read in full...)
Should I be me or the dancer?
Q. I am an ex dancer so used to have a good body and be considered attractive. I got treated really badly by an ex boyfriend who I lived with for 2 years, he cheated on me with about 8 of my friends and ended up becoming violent. My self esteem ...
A. 25 May 2011: THere could be any number of reasons for him losing the erections, the most obvious of which would be that you're settling into a more predictable pattern sexually. Try to spice it up in the bedroom a bit.
Apart from that, fake tan is absolute... (read in full...)
I like watching women in porn but in reality I don't want to touch one. What is that about?
Q. I like watching women stripping porn, watching big fake boobs turn me on (like a fetish or somethinng) but in my reality when girls offer to kiss me i get turned off and im like no i dont wana do that, is this a weird fantasy? i love men, wana ...
A. 25 May 2011: You and a LOT of other women, including this poster. Not exactly unusual. Not even a good indicator of whether you are bi-curious. Continue to enjoy what you enjoy without spending too much time thinking about it.... (read in full...)
Teacher at school going to be a father soon. Is it ok to get him a card?
Q. Hello all, My favourite teacher at school is soon to be expecting his wife to have a newborn baby boy. I really want to congratulate him, and came up with one idea. However I'm not sure if it's inappropriate. I was thinking perhaps I could bu...
A. 25 May 2011: Generally there's no reason not to give a congratulatory card to a teacher for a happy occassion in his/her family.... (read in full...)
Does it make men mad when they can't finish
Q. How do I last longer in bed I'm 18 and when me an my boyfriend get intimate I always have to stop an he don't get to finish sometimes because it hurts. I want him to be able to finish an be happy. And one more question does it make men mad when they ...
A. 24 May 2011: I don't know about the men but it sure makes this woman mad when they don't.... (read in full...)
Do porn stars really enjoy very hard core porn?
Q. I recently saw a porn that was very hardcore in my eyes, and was wondering if the women that star in the movies actually enjoy themselves. There was 5 men and one woman and they each did her anally, directly followed by orally till they cummed in ...
A. 24 May 2011: I never really enjoyed anal though I did it a few times for the camera. And ass-to-mouth followed by swallowing - well, most women, even within porn can't bring themselves to do that. It's doubtful they enjoy EVERY aspect of what they do, but some ... (read in full...)
I want to talk to my mom and bdsm but when I tried she said she'd send me to a therapist!
Q. I am a masochist and I learned that I like bdsm. I mentioned the subject to my mom and asked what she thought and she told me that if I liked that stuff she'd send me to a doctor to get checked out. I dot think there's anything wrong with me. But I ...
A. 24 May 2011: Could you...refrain from indulging your fetish until you've moved out? Better for all concerned, don't you think?... (read in full...)
I want to talk to my mom and bdsm but when I tried she said she'd send me to a therapist!
Q. I am a masochist and I learned that I like bdsm. I mentioned the subject to my mom and asked what she thought and she told me that if I liked that stuff she'd send me to a doctor to get checked out. I dot think there's anything wrong with me. But I ...
A. 23 May 2011: I can see her side of it. I really can. If she feels her baby is getting hurt (no matter how much you enjoy it) she WILL be concerned. BDSM is a dangerous fetish to have after all and would be considered as deviant behavior by most people, and who's ... (read in full...)
He stands up when his 10 year old sister enters the room, is this too much?
Q. What would you think of a guy (27) who is handsome, has a good job and basically has everything going right for him who actually physically stands up as a gesture of respect for his 10 years younger sister (17) when she enters the room and makes her ...
A. 23 May 2011: He has manners, is polite and (in case their parents are dead or away) seems to be carrying out his responsibility of looking after his sister, which shows that:
a) He is a responsible individual
b) He's doing what it takes to look after those wh... (read in full...)
What is it about musicians?
Q. What is it about musicians that makes them so bloody attractive!? Such as singers, drummers, guitarists those sort of people who I used to hear on television shows people saying about how musicians are irresistible and that you shouldn't date a ...
A. 23 May 2011: Reminds me of that old movie - Jack Lemmon, Tony Curits and Marilyn Monroe - where the sexiest movie actress in history says, on more than one occassion that she can't resist musicians :) They're creative, they're glamorous, they are often ... (read in full...)
Husband doesn't understand that I don't have alot of strength for sex
Q. Porn is playing a vital role in runining the minds of our spouse. More than once, I found porn on laptops, emails, and mobiles. My husband claims that his friends sent them. I have come to find out that porn differs from real sex life. They actually ...
A. 23 May 2011: Men who build expectations of women from watching porn are being extremely unrealistic. Cerberus gives good advice here - you must be firm on this and set your limits. Porn stars perform under totally different circumstances from normal sex and are ... (read in full...)
Don't women like to receive oral sex?
Q. Me and my partner are in love for a long long time. The thing is that my partner gives me wonderful blow jobs but when I go down on her vagina to lick it she gets reluctant. She doesnt want me to lick her down. I wanna know the fact - dont girls ...
A. 19 May 2011: I'm not a great fan. Makes me orgasm too quickly and too intensely. If a guy wants to do it after I've given a blowjob or two (or, hopefully, more) already, then I guess it's all right.... (read in full...)
Hate myself for feeling jealous at my gf's success
Q. This is gonna sound like I am a jerk but I am gonna be honest because I need help, if you can help. I am dating this girl, she's real pretty and an aspiring actress. I am a regular guy with an office job. I encourage her but truthfully I am ...
A. 19 May 2011: I'm going to agree that confidence is the thing, however irrational that might be. It's natural to feel insecure inside, but that doesn't mean you have to project those insecurities on to your girlfriend or wish her ill.
My own boyfriend is a bra... (read in full...)
Is revenge worthwhile or just a waste of time?
Q. I would like to know what you think about this question.. Is revenge really worth anything, or it is just a waste of time? ...
A. 18 May 2011: Total waste of time. energy and resouces. The best revenge is to not care any more.... (read in full...)
My girl friend gave me a picture of her in her bra but I think its illegal because were minors
Q. i cant stress the fact that i didn't ask her to do this more. just randomly one day my girl friend send me via e-mail a picture of her from the waist up but no shirt and just a bra, i deleted it a day later because when i first got it i wasn't ...
A. 18 May 2011: Bad judgment on her part, excellent judgment on yours. I don't think it crosses the line into illegal, but you did the right thing. And if this is what her friends have dared her to do, yes, she does have crappy friends.
Don't make a massive ... (read in full...)
A quick (honest) survey: How often do you and your partner have sex?
Q. This is something I am interested in as this often comes up on Dear Cupid, how often are couples actually having sex? I know personally I feel that my boyfriend and I are not having enough sex, I am 24 and he is nearly 28 yet we have sex once or...
A. 17 May 2011: I'm in a relationship with my partner of around 6 months. We usually do it about 9-10 time a week with each other. It's a non-exclusive relationship from my side though, so I end up having more sex than that.... (read in full...)
He left me to be the 'good son' of his parents...he will go through an arranged marriage
Q. We're both from the same cultural and religious background, except his parents are conservative and very traditional. We were in an on/off relationship for 5-6 years. Now his parents have recently started talking about finding a girl for him. I ...
A. 17 May 2011: If he can't stand up for you, forgive and try to forget. It's best to move on, the earlier the better.... (read in full...)
On the inside I feel ugly and fat.
Q. I have put on loads of weight recently, and now i feel really ugly. It makes me feel awful, but i'll be honest, knowing that i'm pretty stops me from doing anything about my weight. I'm a size 16, but have quite big bones, so i'm just really luck...
A. 17 May 2011: Mostly good advice down there, but let me go over some quick tips that usually yield good results -
1. Eat less bread. If you must, eat whole wheat
2. Try to stick to home-cooked food. Avoid junk food completely
3. If you like sweets, try baki... (read in full...)
Does performance matter with women?
Q. I got out of a real nasty relationship one year ago and have not had sex since then. He was my first, and i am 25 i was with him for five years. My question is this:: Im not super experienced in bed, and do guys find that as a turn off? I mean...
A. 17 May 2011: @Cerberus That was not a serious statement (re: just lying there). That why it was followed by "seriously, though...". My apologies if that wasn't clear. ... (read in full...)
Does performance matter with women?
Q. I got out of a real nasty relationship one year ago and have not had sex since then. He was my first, and i am 25 i was with him for five years. My question is this:: Im not super experienced in bed, and do guys find that as a turn off? I mean...
A. 16 May 2011: Actually a lot of men would just be happy to have you lie there, I think. Seriously though - you seem to be open-minded, so I'm sure you're not exactly a cold fish in bed.
Don't watch too much porn and compare yourself to the women there. T... (read in full...)
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