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| | *abrielle Stoker's profile:Qualified to help people? Don't really know. Am in my twenties, currently working in the hospitality industry. Very open-minded on sex, probably too active for my own good. Flatter myself into thinking I'm reasonably intelligent and believe that my upbringing, difficult as it was, has given me a decent perspective on life. |
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Why do men focus so much on female orgasm?
Q. Why do men focus so much on female orgasm? My bf is insecure because he's only been able to make me orgasm twice orally in the 4 months we've been together and if I don't orgasm, he sees it as failure and it prevents him from being hard again to ...
A. 6 December 2011: I've known some guys who fell asleep while at the receiving end of a BJ. It wasn't amusing. A guy probably feels the same way about a girl who doesn't get off during the act. Now I know it may not be terribly important to you whether you have the ... (read in full...)
I think my FWB is a sex addict. and the relationship is getting deeper. Now what?
Q. I am 38. I recently met a woman who is 26. She is very fit and has a voracious sexual appetite unlike any woman I have ever known before. I am suspecting that she may be a sex addict. We don't have sex every day because our schedules don't allow it...
A. 6 December 2011: If it's affecting your work-life balance you need to have a serious talk with this young lady about it. I think you can't expect to be FWB forever - don't think it's what you want either. So either you see her as someone you CAN talk to about the ... (read in full...)
Are musicians better in bed?
Q. Does anyone else think musicians are better in bed than the average guy/girl? My bf plays the piano and OH. MY. GOODNESS..... !! seriously. what he does is insane. Never had a guy so brilliant when he ventures down there... *sighs* my 21st birthday...
A. 6 December 2011: I love musicians. Jazz players, especially. Wouldn't care to make a statement on them being 'better', neccessarily, but they are certainly not worse.... (read in full...)
In person he has a great personality. But am I wasting my time? Because texting or by phone he can be boring.
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm dating this guy who goes to a different school then me. I really like him when we are together in person. Yet, we we can't see each other and are just texting or on the phone when he is the most boring person in the world. This f...
A. 5 December 2011: Some people don't text or chat well. It really doesn't mean anything - it's what you feel when he's actually around you that matters more.... (read in full...)
Should I sell her engagement ring?
Q. Me ard my partner were Engaged to get married next year last week she told me she does not love me and has not loved me for a long time. She doesn't want to make things work as she has feelings for someone else. Question is do I sell her engagment ...
A. 5 December 2011: If it's made of gold, my investment advisor advocates holding for a while. Check out the prices in March and take a call. ... (read in full...)
I'm not model material and don't want my b/f to photograph me
Q. My boyfriend is a photographer, and he wants to photograph me for part of his portfolio. I insists I should do it but I'm so worried. The other girls he photographs are skinny models. I'm a uk size 8-10. I know I'm not fat but I will just not look ...
A. 30 November 2011: You'll look smashing provided he isn't bad at what he does. If you have other concerns - with being in portfolio itself, for instance, that's different and you should then not do it if you aren't comfortable with it.... (read in full...)
Should I stop watching porn? Its making me very insecure
Q. This might be dumb but it might be true...a year ago, I never masturbated and only watched porn occasionally. Nowadays, I've gotten myself to orgasm from specifically masturbating to lesbian porn but I've noticed that my self esteem has dropped and ...
A. 29 November 2011: I'm rather OK with porn as a rule but if you feel it is affecting your self-esteem you should consider quitting, yes. There are no grounds to feel insecure on account of the porn, though, most men (the ones who are worth having, anyway), prefer a ... (read in full...)
Should a girl ever truly trust a man 100 per cent?
Q. I was wondering should you ever trust a man 100% or give your love 100%. I am 25 good looking and have two degrees but recently I find it hard to be in a relationship or even wonder if a man is ever worth giving your all. I was in a five year rela...
A. 25 November 2011: Certainly not. Just as no man should trust a woman 100%. These things cut both ways, you know. It's a possibly cynical view that I have, but the only people I can actually say I do trust to that extent are my immediate family - and not all of them ... (read in full...)
Is my interest in transexual pornography a harmless fantasy or a sign of something else?
Q. I'm not sure how to start, so I will just dive in. I am 36 and married to a woman I love. We have good sex and no problems except that my testosterone may be a little low so we don't have it as much as we used to, but i'm working on that. The pr...
A. 21 November 2011: A number of men who otherwise identify as straight do have a predeliction for transexual pornography. So no, I don't think it's a sign of being homosexual by itself. From what you describe, it seems more like a fantasy than anything else.
Wheth... (read in full...)
Should I dump him despite the fact he's given up the porn??
Q. I have a problem. My boyfriend of nearly seven years has watched and masturbated to pornography throughout behind my back. He has also lied to me when I have caught him out. He even continued to do this whilst I was pregnant and after our baby ...
A. 21 November 2011: The message I get is that you're not enjoying the relationship any more. In a way your mind appears to already be made up, so if you're looking for re-inforcement on here, well, here it is -
Yes, both of you may be better off not being together... (read in full...)
Should I be concerned about her comment about my cum?
Q. hi guys and galls. The other night me and my new partner were having sex and when i came she told me i gush rather than squirt. And its the most cum she had seen in one go. It felt great to me and no other partners have said anything before. Any ...
A. 18 November 2011: Concerned - hell no, I say stuff like that all the time. "You're a big cummer, aren't you?" is one of the nicer things I can say about a guy.... (read in full...)
Uncomfortable around our house with teenaged daughter walking around in just underwear!
Q. Our oldest daughter is now 15 and tends to walk around the house in just her bra and underwear or nothing at all. My husband and I get on her about it all the time, but she doesn't seem to care. Will she grow out of this or will it get worse? Is ...
A. 16 November 2011: Time to read out the riot act, perhaps? You could try ignoring her presence completely until she is appropriately dressed.... (read in full...)
I don't know how to take care of kids, I don't think they're cute, I don't like them or know what to do with them, and I don't want one, ever.
Q. Today I was talking with my mom, and my sister, who joined in, and they said it was wierd that I have no maternal instinct. Every woman in my family, and even a lot of men LOVE babies and kids, whenever there's a baby around, everyone coos over it, ...
A. 15 November 2011: You and me both ;) It's not that unusual, though of course, views can change and you may be hit by the maternal urge some day. But its really not unusual to have that feeling, a lot of people do.
If you aren't into kids though, why would you want... (read in full...)
My wife wont have anal sex, should I go to a prostitute or will I regret it?
Q. Hello friends, i know i have been several times here on DCupid issues about that issue, but still i want it to get this help from you! Please! Here it comes: i wish i could get intercourse in the anus in my wife but she doesn't want it anymore, we ...
A. 11 November 2011: You will definitely regret it. Stick to fantasy. Don't see what the fuss about anal sex.... (read in full...)
How can I enjoy sex with my partner who has a small penis? And is masturbation ok even though I'm in a relationship?
Q. how can i make myself to enjoy while having sex even though my partner have a small penis? And is mastubation good for someone who is in a relationship?...
A. 11 November 2011: Ooh I love smallsies. How small is "small" here? Is there a specific problem you're facing during sex? We need more details here.
And masturbation is quite normal. Enjoy yourself.... (read in full...)
Why do some guys like women to send them nude pictures???
Q. Before I say anything just thought i say that DO NOT judge me for this cause I`ve beaten myself up about it and regret it, plus i`m an adult. Also i have another question which relates to my post so instead of making another post I decided to post ...
A. 11 November 2011: I'm guessing it's because, despite the ridiculously easy availability of porn, there is still something attractive to men about seeing a "real" woman, warts and all.
That said, the whole dynamic you described here doesn't sound ideal. 2 years of... (read in full...)
Tonight I learned my husband may be cheating again
Q. My husband's iphone beeped tonight with an SMS coming in, while we were in the car together. He was driving, so i just picked up the phone for him, and happened to notice a female name that i didn't recognise, and a message saying "is it ok to txt ...
A. 11 November 2011: I'm not sure holding on to his phone will accomplish much, but it does appear that he has been indulging in some inappropriate behavior. It's possible nothing has "happened" yet, as he says, but he is definitely being - economical with the truth. ... (read in full...)
Dangers of Porn
Q. I was listening to the recent case of Vincent Tabak who killed his neighbour after he had watched violent porn, particularly of men placing their hands around woman's throats and tying them up in the boot of a car!!! So what did he do, he strangled ...
A. 9 November 2011: As arguments go, this one is not likely to ever be settled, since humans are, in any case, hardwired to "win", not to be rational. So people with an anti-porn position will maintain it just as staunchly as the pro-porn brigade.
I don't intend t... (read in full...)
Are high cheekbones attractive?
Q. Are high cheek bones on a woman attractive? Or not attractive? I've just noticed how high my cheekbones actually are! My grandma said all women in our family have high cheekbones i just never noticed... They arent like that noticable im not skinny ...
A. 3 November 2011: Can't think of a man who ever fell in love with cheekbones for their own sake. Cheeks, maybe and noses most certainly.
Jokes apart, high cheekbones do normally give a classy look to a woman (they're associated with the aristocratic look) and if t... (read in full...)
Do I get a boob job and give up sensitivity?
Q. I can't decide whether or not to have a boob job! I have really small boobs and so does everyone else in my family and there's no hope of them growing anymore (I'm a 32A/AA). For ages now I've been thinking about getting a boob job but I still don't ...
A. 2 November 2011: As an adult, you are entitled to make your own choices, of course, and I certainly do not think that a boob job is degrading or any such thing, BUT
Why would you want to give up that sort of sensitivity? Women in general have an incredib... (read in full...)
What is your opinion about one night stands?
Q. What's your opinion on One Night Stands? Would you do it? Is it bad? I like one guy. We are just friends and he want to have sex with me. I'm confused. I don't know if I want to do it or not. I'm attracted towards him and I like him a lot. He is 23...
A. 31 October 2011: What our opinion is about one-night stands in general is irrelevant.
What is relevant is, that at your age, it's a horrible idea. Do not go through with this. Besides, wouldn't it be illegal in India? The age of consent is 18 over there, isn't it... (read in full...)
Does he have masturbation issues?
Q. I am 16 and me and my boyfriend are very much in love and are seirous about our relationship. We haven't had sex but that not an issue, we'd both rather wait till we're older. He said that recently he's been sexually frustrated.- he feels horny all ...
A. 31 October 2011: I think it does sounds suspiciously like a line to inveigle you into sexual contact. Assuming you don't want to go down that road (and you should not), just tell the guy that you don't mind him masturbating and that you'd rather he kept the details ... (read in full...)
Did I do something wrong by refusing to pay for my wife's new dress?
Q. Hi, I really got to get this out as I don't know what I am doing wrong, maybe there are some factos which I am not taking into account. My wife and I are both young working professionals, my salary is higher than hers by around 30%. We bough...
A. 28 October 2011: If you have a financial plan, stick to it. Her reaction does sound shallow and frivolous, but I think a lot of people are that way sometimes and should, eventually, realize their mistakes.
Just buying something to avoid strife is not the thing to... (read in full...)
Was he just really enjoying it or should I go easy on him next time?
Q. While recently giving a blow job to this guy, I felt he started to tremble and shiver vigorously. After he came in my mouth and we were done, he did exclaim that he could hardly stand then and sat down. Wanted to know if it is because he is ...
A. 21 October 2011: Oh hell no, that's a rocking orgasm he had. Keep doing it!... (read in full...)
Problematic relationships and having 4 sex partners at 16
Q. This will be a messy thread, however I'd like to share this with someone, as I do not want to ask for psychologist's or psychiatrist's help, they were of no help... And I'd like to see just a general opinion and/or read other's experiences and ...
A. 21 October 2011: That sounds startlingly like me at your age. The path I took after realizing that
A) I had an unusually high libido AND
B) The odds of finding a single man who could satisfy me intellectually and sexually were very long indeed
is not one I would ... (read in full...)
Could the average guy handle this? Eight months on and my Gf is trying to treat me like her servant
Q. 8 months back , I dumped my girlfriend with whom I had spent 3 years . I had no reason to dump her except I was feeling bored in that relationship . She tried for next one month to bring me back into her life but I didn’t move an inch and then she ...
A. 20 October 2011: Those who dig graves should be prepared to lie in them. There's a lot more going on than the dry prose you've just put down, I'm sure. Maybe she's resentful (and she has every reason to be). Maybe it's something else. The fact is you have NOT ... (read in full...)
I hit my girlfriend's brother in the face during a game of cricket and now she wont speak to me! Is she blowing this out of proportion?
Q. 10 days back, while playing game of Cricket , I hit my girlfriend’s brother in the face. Before that , he hit me for two long hits "Six Runs hit" which I couldn’t digest and bowled the next delivery with my full force, the ball took off from goo...
A. 19 October 2011: I understand from my friends that cricket is not, ordinarily, a contact sport.
You have confessed yourself that you not only did what you did on purpose but also enjoyed doing it.
So really this is in no way a sporting incident. It doe... (read in full...)
Was this online girl for real?
Q. I started using Zoosk a couple of months ago, and contacted a few girls. One named Naomi replied to me, and we started to chat casually on email. She told me she wanted to exchange pictures, and although I regret it, I did send her some indecent ...
A. 18 October 2011: No, it was a bot (automater computer program).... (read in full...)
How many men think sex isn't good unless a BJ in involved?
Q. How many of men consider that sex is not good without blowjob? Is intercourse alone not enough to satisfy a man? How many women would perform oral sex on a stable partner vs a casual sexual encounter?...
A. 18 October 2011: I wouldn't really know, since I always give a BJ(in fact I usually give a BJ and don't have intercourse), but on the whole guys are fairly simple creatures who like sexual contact in general. Of course there will always be exceptions...but the ... (read in full...)
He is just too big, but I love him, how can I please him?
Q. I won’t be shy, I’ve been around the block more than a few times and never have I come across anything like this. I met this totally great guy last year. He was friendly and we got talking. We’ve been dating for the last 9 months or so now. But when...
A. 17 October 2011: Sounds like a keeper.
Tit fucks, done right, can be very pleasurable. Apart from that, practise using your hands and mouth...an expert pair of hands is invaluable in such situations. And practise frequently with your mouth. It's not easy getting ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is not virgin! How do I forgive her?
Q. i have a relation with a girl since march 2011. after 2 months when she come to know that i love her, she told me that she is not virgin. she cried the whole night and told me that she was force by her ex-boyfriend when she was having a severe ...
A. 13 October 2011: You don't forgive her, honey - you hope *she* forgives *you* for being insensitive and blaming her for what tantamounts to a rape.
Grow up - if you think there is something you need to forgive her for, she deserves better than you.... (read in full...)
B/f wants a foursome--3 guys and me! I kind of want it too!
Q. I've had the biggest crush on this guy for like a year now. He's super adorable. We flirt all the time. He and I have been "talking" for like two months now. I love when people give me attention and he gives me the most. Last month, we were at his ...
A. 13 October 2011: It's not...normal, no. And at your age, not a good idea. I won't say it would be 'wrong' or 'disrespectful', since that depends on the context of the thing and I personally do enjoy such encounters, but then I'm rather a bit older and more certain ... (read in full...)
Kisses and being called sexy
Q. I have a quick question.if a guy gives you a kiss on the lips and calls you sexy,does he like you ?...
A. 5 October 2011: It means he wants you to think he likes you. Beyond that it depends on how good a judge of character you are.... (read in full...)
Sex starved, thinking about the porn business?
Q. Let me tell you my story. First of all, I'm a nice guy, fairly good looking, clean-cut, just turned 32, and I stand a shade under 5'6. My friends and co-workers tell me all the time that I'm handsome with a nice body. Secondly, I'm thinking abo...
A. 4 October 2011: To answer your basic question regarding your size, yes, it is perfect for the industry. Unfortunately, size is not everything. Porn males are expected to be able to ejaculate on demand, under the glare of multiple cameras and with a crew of 5-15 ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when he rubs circles on my stomach?
Q. So me and this guy just became bf n gf and we were at the movies n he put his hands around my waist and then starts rubbing circles on my stomach and im like what r u doin? XD cuz his my 3rd bf lol n his like wheres ur belly button? n he tries ...
A. 3 October 2011: He's being affectionate. If it makes you feel 'awkward', tell him so and he should stop.... (read in full...)
I can't get hard when we try to have sex for the fourth time in a night. Should I be worried?
Q. me and my girlfriend have been together about a month now and we have had sex multible times and it was amazing. ive never had a problem getting hard for her even after having sex with her to go again. but my question is after the 3rd time of ...
A. 30 September 2011: I've only know maybe ten guys in my life so far who could go more than 3 times in a single night. In proportionate terms, that is not a lot, i.e. it is VERY rare and even then, not something that they could do ever time either.
It's normal, ... (read in full...)
If men want their women to look like porn stars, why don't us women care that our men don't look like porn stars??
Q. I'm 25, and I'm here to discuss pornography and men. Some but not all men complain their women don't look like porn stars/models etc. but how come women don't do the opposite and ask for 6-packs/chiselled bodies / big penises etc? Or if they do,...
A. 30 September 2011: I've never met a guy who said that, honestly, not even when I actually was a porn...well I'd hardly say "star", so let's leave it at that.
Neither, to be honest, do I want a man who looks like Rocco, Nacho Vidal or, God forbid, Ron Jeremy. ... (read in full...)
How much trouble would we be in if we have sex at a movie theatre and get caught?
Q. I am 19 and I have been with my bf Brett for 2 yrs. Our 2 yr anniversary is on wednesday and I wanted to do something special so I asked him what he would like to do. I was kinda shocked when he sadi he had 2 things he had always wanted to do the ...
A. 28 September 2011: Been there, done that. Got caught (you will, too) and took a lot of negotiation not to have charges filed against us.
Giving a BJ is relatively more feasible, but again, not for the faint-hearted. Role play is a far far better otion.... (read in full...)
Ladies, which do you prefer - the cook or the dancer?
Q. Just out of curiosity to all the women out there, which do you prefer - a man who knows his way around the kitchen or a man who knows his way around the dance floor? And why? (I'm just taking a poll of sorts after an interesting discussion among...
A. 28 September 2011: I can cook well enough for two. I'll take the dancer. Not that I'd turn down a really good cook, mind you, but if I had to choose only one...... (read in full...)
Can I fall in love at 15?
Q. I've never had this feeling before. This feeling I've been having, is so great, but yet, so strange. I met this guy about a week ago. We started talking and we really hit it off. He asked me to our high school dance. So we've been texting non stop...
A. 15 September 2011: EVERY 15 year old falls in love - it almost always turns out to be an infatuation, but it feels like pretty much the same thing.... (read in full...)
She slept with my friend on the day we met
Q. Hi...This is my first post here.. I'm a 21 year old male and I met the girl of my dreams 1 month ago.. However, there are complications. I met her at a ''party'' at my friends house where she was the only girl... I chatted with her for a while ...
A. 14 September 2011: The question is not so much what she did in the past as it is about whether you think you can get past this.
She obviously did something stupid that, hopefully, she regrets. Try to get past it - she seems to love you and you say you have feelings... (read in full...)
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