Nasty comment has caused devastation and despair.
Q. I am seeking advice for a close friend. She is from Latin America, moved to Canada a few years back so English is her second language. She is hoping to work in Health Care, she now has her masters and was asked this evening to do a presentation. ...
A. 3 December 2013: Just noticed your flag - oops, sorry. There may also be some *Canadian* ESL classes on Youtube.... (read in full...)
Nasty comment has caused devastation and despair.
Q. I am seeking advice for a close friend. She is from Latin America, moved to Canada a few years back so English is her second language. She is hoping to work in Health Care, she now has her masters and was asked this evening to do a presentation. ...
A. 3 December 2013: Sorry your friend had to put up with this nasty comment - please encourage her to use it in a positive way to improve her spoken English rather than to put her off completely.
I was chatting to a friend who teaches English as a Second Language... (read in full...)
Made out with a coworker and he told people about it. Do I forgive him, avoid him, or resign?
Q. I don't know if I should forgive this guy named J. We sort of both liked each other, nothing official came from it and he ended up telling people we made out. That's not a lie but he promised he wouldn't kiss and tell considering we both voluntee...
A. 2 December 2013: Link to "J"'a post:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-really-like-her-but-i-messed-up.html
... (read in full...)
Why is he so angry when he wanted it to end?
Q. Hi so this is definitely the last question about this particular man that I will ask! I'm just trying to get my head round this last development to be honest. So my ex and i were seeing each other for 5 months, it was mainly lovely, we went on...
A. 30 November 2013: Hi OP,
Janniepeg explains his anger very well.
The money/ holiday: since you never made an agreement for him to pay you back, you can't really expect him to do so now. Legally, you certainly have no way to get any money back. Since you're on ... (read in full...)
Problems with neighbour - how would you handle this?
Q. Hello. I would like to know how you would handle this situation. I live above a young male who is intolerant of his neighbours making any sounds. Whenever we do make sounds, he bangs the walls. I get the most of it though, since I live right above...
A. 30 November 2013: Hi OP
I doubt he is doing this to mock you, I know it's difficult, but try not to think of it as a personal attack on you. He's bothering all his neighbours. Unfortunately it probably has more of an effect on you because you're prone to anxiety ... (read in full...)
I'm in a huge mess...and I have no idea what to do now!!
Q. So there's a long story to this one. I like this girl that I volunteer with. She's three years younger than me and she's an EMT, I'm a firefighter and EMT driver. We both ride the same nights and have been friends for three or four years now. We ...
A. 30 November 2013: Whether she's mad or upset makes no difference. It's over between the two of you. You had your chance and you know that you blew it. You have to let this go. Leave her get on with her life and you get on with yours. Good luck. ... (read in full...)
We're not married but he put me on his life insurance. Is this a big deal?
Q. Just a simple question... my fiancee of 6 years has put me on his life insurance but we are not married. He keeps saying that no other man will do that to me and that im lucky to have him, he keep saying i wont find another man like him. But he...
A. 30 November 2013: I agree that the threats of suicide are another manipulative technique. I agree with IAmHereToHelpYou's strategy, and would just add that if you really believe he's suicidal then inform his parents or friends as soon as you've left. He is not your ... (read in full...)
We're not married but he put me on his life insurance. Is this a big deal?
Q. Just a simple question... my fiancee of 6 years has put me on his life insurance but we are not married. He keeps saying that no other man will do that to me and that im lucky to have him, he keep saying i wont find another man like him. But he...
A. 29 November 2013: It's another layer of manipulation, that's all. Another thing to keep you hooked. Like the fiancée status, but no marriage - that said I'm relieved you're not married to him.
I realise 6 years is a long time and it's so much easier said than don... (read in full...)
My ex went off on me because I'm seeing his married friend. I don't know what to do
Q. where do i start its a long story , iv been trying to get a hold of my x for the longest time we did not part well, anyway we had been together for 4 yrs friends befor that so finly did reach him we stared talking again he said he would come and ...
A. 29 November 2013: How strange, he gave your number to his friend because he didn't want to deal with you anymore (how un-charming), and then disapproved when his you and his friend hit it off. Why did he give your number to his best friend anyway, knowing he is ... (read in full...)
Should I sleep with my ex casually?
Q. My Ex, who I have not seen in about 7 years, recently invited me over to have a drink. He asked me if I wanted to have sex. I was shocked as he married since our breakup but apparently is splitting up. I told him I was looking for a relationship, ...
A. 28 November 2013: NO!! You will get very hurt if you get involved with him. ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant. Should I leave my Bf? He's addicted to porn, uses weed and now he's cyber cheated.
Q. I'm 7 months pregnant and just found out my boyfriend has been messaging a girl he knows on Facebook, suggestive and flirty messages. She suggested they do something sexual, to which he replied "will it be soon?? I can't wait to stay in the room ...
A. 27 November 2013: OP, you are not being harsh. This guy has to face up to his own responsibilities, and they include being an honest, caring, trustworthy and respectful partner. He hasn't been any of these. That's his fault/ responsibility. Not yours. Likewise his ... (read in full...)
Problems with neighbour - how would you handle this?
Q. Hello. I would like to know how you would handle this situation. I live above a young male who is intolerant of his neighbours making any sounds. Whenever we do make sounds, he bangs the walls. I get the most of it though, since I live right above...
A. 26 November 2013: I can completely understand why it makes you anxious. It sounds like you live alone, which puts you in a slightly vulnerable position. Then you have an aggressive man acting weirdly a few feet below you - because it is weird to bang on the walls ... (read in full...)
Why is fiancee's mother so against us living together?
Q. Due to my circumstances to save money for a wedding. Her mother doesn't care if we make it or not. Is that fair? My fiancée is afraid to come out of her room to be around her mom. Because her mother caresses her face behind her back like a baby. My ...
A. 26 November 2013: OP, your fiancée must MUST speak to her neurologist about family planning. Some anti epileptic drugs have harmful effects on the foetus. Sodium valproate (in the UK the brand name Epilim) is associated with significant birth defects. She should be ... (read in full...)
Why is fiancee's mother so against us living together?
Q. Due to my circumstances to save money for a wedding. Her mother doesn't care if we make it or not. Is that fair? My fiancée is afraid to come out of her room to be around her mom. Because her mother caresses her face behind her back like a baby. My ...
A. 26 November 2013: OP, your fiancée must MUST speak to her neurologist about family planning. Some anti epileptic drugs have harmful effects on the foetus. Sodium valproate (in the UK the brand name Epilim) is associated with significant birth defects. She should be ... (read in full...)
Why is fiancee's mother so against us living together?
Q. Due to my circumstances to save money for a wedding. Her mother doesn't care if we make it or not. Is that fair? My fiancée is afraid to come out of her room to be around her mom. Because her mother caresses her face behind her back like a baby. My ...
A. 24 November 2013: Saying someone "isn't being fair" is more the mentality of a 16 yr old than a 33 year old. I truly believe her mother believes she's doing what is best for her adult child, though I know it doesn't sit well with you or your fiancée.
Her mother i... (read in full...)
Why is fiancee's mother so against us living together?
Q. Due to my circumstances to save money for a wedding. Her mother doesn't care if we make it or not. Is that fair? My fiancée is afraid to come out of her room to be around her mom. Because her mother caresses her face behind her back like a baby. My ...
A. 24 November 2013: All I can think of is saving up enough money to get married as soon as possible. Maybe get an extra part time job.
With that in mind, though, your fiancee is not a prisoner in the home and she could just up and leave and move in with you if she f... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is smothering me, while I support him! How can we get back the relationship we used to have?
Q. I've been in a relationship with my partner for little over a year. Prior to our relationship we were very close friends for 5 years. Due to us being friends for so long, we knew each other incredibly well. My partner had a big circle of friends and ...
A. 23 November 2013: OP, what do you mean "I think it may be time to give in"? Give in and have him living at your home, doing nothing, until ... well when, exactly? Because he won't change - he has no incentive to change.
Please, stop asking him and start telling ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is smothering me, while I support him! How can we get back the relationship we used to have?
Q. I've been in a relationship with my partner for little over a year. Prior to our relationship we were very close friends for 5 years. Due to us being friends for so long, we knew each other incredibly well. My partner had a big circle of friends and ...
A. 23 November 2013: You need to stand up for yourself, OP!
Does he still have his own place or was he staying with his parents? (I'm guessing the latter, and that you've taken over the role of his mum).
The way to get it back to how it was in the beginning is to ... (read in full...)
Why is fiancee's mother so against us living together?
Q. Due to my circumstances to save money for a wedding. Her mother doesn't care if we make it or not. Is that fair? My fiancée is afraid to come out of her room to be around her mom. Because her mother caresses her face behind her back like a baby. My ...
A. 23 November 2013: I also remember your previous post and didn't bring this up then because there was enough being discussed, what with gas cards, possible religious beliefs etc.
I think her mother is over protective of her daughter because she has uncontro... (read in full...)
Trying to save my marriage. Husband calls me names for having had sexual partners before we met. Help!
Q. I have been married to my husband for 7 years and we have been together for 14. We have 4 children together. Recently, he has told me that he wants to leave me because I had sex with multiple people (a total of 6, including 2 one night stands) ...
A. 22 November 2013: There was a man who posted here the other day about his difficulties accepting his wife's sexual history after 31 years of marriage. It seemed it had been eating away at him for some time but had come to a head in the past 3-4 years. But he didn't ... (read in full...)
My instincts tell me he's not one for a FWB
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles I have recently started what is supposed to be a "friends with benefits" relationship with a guy who's almost 20 years older than me. He's an incredibly attractive man and we've liked each other for a few weeks and we fin...
A. 21 November 2013: If he's fairly newly separated, he's used to being in a marriage and therefore part of a couple. Hence he's acting like you're a couple, and he's getting carried away in future-faking. He sounds a bit messed up, probably from his marriage breakdown. ... (read in full...)
How to get my BF back and move on in the old direction?
Q. I was in 4,5 year long distance relationship. We were seeing each other every 2nd weekend, which is quite often for 2 countries that are far away. It was love at first sight, we had the same taste, traveled a lot together, planning to marry and have ...
A. 21 November 2013: Very sorry to read this. You must be very upset and very disappointed. It may be that he got cold feet at the idea of the relationship transitioning from LDR (part time) to full time. I wouldn't fight for him - it won't help your self respect, or ... (read in full...)
I feel I need to warn other women on the dating website about this aggressive jerk
Q. I need help dealing with a situation. About 18 months ago I met a guy. He was fine and gentlemanly. On the fourth date, he got quite intimidating and clearly wanted sex. He got lairy. I was scared and intimidated but luckily as he did not have ...
A. 21 November 2013: You could try putting it in writing and post a letter off to the head quarters of the dating site. They might take that more seriously than reporting him online. They may not remove his profile but you'll have done your best. You can also leave an ... (read in full...)
If he's happy then why is he still on dating sites?
Q. Hi everyone, I am hoping someone (preferably with experience of this) could shed some light on my problem. I have been seeing my boyfriend for a bit more than three years. He says he is happy. If he is happy, then why does he keep going to dating ...
A. 21 November 2013: Why? Because he likes the attention and ego stroke he gets from these other women - who he's quite possibly meeting up with for sex. Because he knows he can do it and you'll get angry but you'll always take him back.
The relationship sounds a... (read in full...)
How can I fix this big mess I caused?
Q. Please read this before you jump into conclusions that anyone is over reacting thank you http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-really-like-her-but-i-messed-up.html So I messed up again. I saw someone come down my street with what looked like he...
A. 20 November 2013: And OP, she's not the only one being dramatic here. Wasn't it dramatic to call the cops (if you did? You're being unclear about that) and involve your employer? Rather than just calmly asking her? You went off, all guns blazing, and created this. ... (read in full...)
How can I fix this big mess I caused?
Q. Please read this before you jump into conclusions that anyone is over reacting thank you http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-really-like-her-but-i-messed-up.html So I messed up again. I saw someone come down my street with what looked like he...
A. 20 November 2013: "I don't want her to resign"
"I don't want her to quit"
"I don't want to be the reason she resigns"
Sorry but it's too late for you to start listing what you want. You have done another idiotic thing and it's up to her to decide how she re... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wouldn't be sending flowers to his ex girlfriend every year on that date, would he?
Q. I saw that my boyfriend has been forwarding himself an email about a reminder notice to send flowers the last couple of days . I had seen it quickly over his shoulder and then took a peek yesterday which I don't normally do! The flowers were ...
A. 20 November 2013: I think it's highly unlikely that he'd be sending flowers to his ex once a year. I can't think why on earth he'd do that, since you describe him as being perfectly sensible. I reckon they're for an aunt or some other relative, and I think that makes ... (read in full...)
Looking for help with emotionally unavailable guy.
Q. I don't know if this is a long shot but I'm looking for some advice and help with dealings I have with a guy. He is emotionally unavailable, he is my fwb ( when he fancies it!!) and I'm not sure if you'd call him a player. Anyway so I'm hoping to...
A. 18 November 2013: You won't get things to work for you with a guy who is emotionally unavailable. Some people might give you some 'tricks' or 'rules' but the bottom line is that you won't ever change him.
Why try to flog a dead horse or get back at him? That's a... (read in full...)
Am I being overly concerned -- he wanted to have sex without protection
Q. After waiting a fair amount of time, the guy I'm dating and I decided to have sex. I had needed to take it slow, and he had respected that, then last night we took things further. It got to the point where he was about to go inside me, but he tried ...
A. 18 November 2013: Me again.
OP, why not suggest you both go along for STD testing together? It's free and they'll also give you a supply of condoms.
You can find your nearest clinic here:
http://www.nhs.uk/Servic... (read in full...)
Am I being overly concerned -- he wanted to have sex without protection
Q. After waiting a fair amount of time, the guy I'm dating and I decided to have sex. I had needed to take it slow, and he had respected that, then last night we took things further. It got to the point where he was about to go inside me, but he tried ...
A. 18 November 2013: No you're not being overly concerned.
I assume he's not a virgin? Nor you? So, really, it's obvious that he should have worn a condom. The only circumstance in which it would have been ok not to use one is if you'd both gone for STD checks befo... (read in full...)
I hate the idea of killing something potentially magical with too much information
Q. A man really wanted me some time back - about 3 years - but he wasn't to know that the timing was all very wrong. We went out a few times but just as something was about to start up I really backed off, without any explanation - partly this was ...
A. 18 November 2013: I'm so sorry for the problems you've gone through.
There's so much in your post.
Is the ex truly out of the picture? How come you were involved in getting him to rehab? I think if he's not already, your ex needs to be well and truly erased... (read in full...)
Why is wife hiding her past from me, and has lied about it
Q. why is my wife hiding her past from me? she tells me its my problem, and not hers. she has lied to me over the years about it. we have been married for several years now 31 , while dating she said she was in love with her first, but a ye...
A. 18 November 2013: I think she doesn't tell you things because you stew over them, not because she doesn't trust you. So she's learnt to make little white lies which she then forgets (it's easier to forget lies than the truth) and you 'catch her out'.
She sees no ... (read in full...)
Sister-in-law propositioned me, and I'm tempted ...
Q. Hi I have a dilemma, I don't get on with my sister in law, she is an obnoxious self centred person, a habitual liar, thief and cannot be trusted even slightly. I have tried in the past to give her the benefit of the doubt but have always had my ...
A. 18 November 2013: What a perfect way to ruin your family and your life.
Keep it as a fantasy and carry on avoiding her. ... (read in full...)
I really like her, but I messed up. I just want to say sorry, but is it too soon?
Q. So I sort of messed up with this girl. See, I'm a firefighter who volunteers. And there's this female EMT, I've known her for 3 years outside of squad. A bit of back story, we dated for almost a month but on both our ends, it wasn't working ...
A. 17 November 2013: Hi OP,
I'm glad you managed to clear the air with her today. And that you came to give feedback.
I really got the impression that the thing that upset her most was your remark to a friend that you'd "hooked up" rather than that you were at item... (read in full...)
We had an argument because he wanted sex and I wanted to sleep. Should I call him?
Q. i had a fall out with my new boyfriend the other day, he basically said to me, i don't understand how can you girls know a guy has a hard on and not do anything about it!... he was saying that because i slept at his and we had sex the night before...
A. 17 November 2013: Well OP, I don't blame you for leaving. It's a new relationship, he should've been offering you tea and toast in bed (or letting you sleep), not making ridiculous remarks about sex and starting arguments with you.
I'm glad you haven't phoned h... (read in full...)
I always feel I'm annoying my FWB when I text him
Q. So, it started back in 2010 when I met this boy and we were just friends with benefits.. I started to really like him and he said he didn't want anything more and then he just randomly got a girlfriend with this girl I disliked at the time. So, ...
A. 17 November 2013: His motives are obvious as an outsider. He wants sex from you and no more. He sees you as no more than a f-buddy, not even a pal or friend. Sorry.
You have strong feelings. I highly advise staying away from him so stop those feelings getting ... (read in full...)
Out of sight out of mind? Anyone else stop caring about sex when they've been without for a while?
Q. Hi so I have this problem...well I dont know if it is so much a huge issue but just curious if other people feel the same way. I have been noticing that my sex drive isnt all that high. It isn't all that low but not super high if I compare it to ...
A. 17 November 2013: I hope it's normal because I'm exactly the same as you! I've always felt glad to be that way so I'm not too tempted to do regrettable things .... ... (read in full...)
We had an argument because he wanted sex and I wanted to sleep. Should I call him?
Q. i had a fall out with my new boyfriend the other day, he basically said to me, i don't understand how can you girls know a guy has a hard on and not do anything about it!... he was saying that because i slept at his and we had sex the night before...
A. 17 November 2013: I don't think you should apologise, and I agree with Maureen's observations. As Fatherly says, you two don't seem compatible. He sounds like a knob to be honest. ... (read in full...)
I really like her, but I messed up. I just want to say sorry, but is it too soon?
Q. So I sort of messed up with this girl. See, I'm a firefighter who volunteers. And there's this female EMT, I've known her for 3 years outside of squad. A bit of back story, we dated for almost a month but on both our ends, it wasn't working ...
A. 17 November 2013: So basically you stopped "hanging out" (and almost having sex) with her and didn't tell her why, and then you blabbed to colleagues that you'd hooked up with her so she's the talk of the town. That's how she will be seeing it.
Also, she'll b... (read in full...)
How do I get through tomorrow knowing that I've lost her forever?
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles. I'm rather depressed at the moment. Tomorrow, I'll be watching the love of my life marry my best friend. When we were 15, my best friend and I met a girl who immediately friend-zoned both of us. I told him once that I liked her ...
A. 16 November 2013: I feel sorry for all three of you. You because you're smitten with this woman who is now completely off limits. Her because she's marrying a man when she's not sure. Prince Charming, because he has no idea his bride has doubts and his best friend is ... (read in full...)
Don't want drama. Have not talked to FWB since condom broke. So how do I tell him I'm pregnant?
Q. Soo I feel really stupid here but I don't know what to do.... I was in this FWB things for a couple months we used condoms but had an incident when one broke and 9 weeks later here I am pregnant. Problem is I haven't talked to him since the condom b...
A. 16 November 2013: Reading your follow up, you don't want an abortion and you're in need of help financially. So arrange to meet the ex and tell him there's something important you have to tell him. He'll no doubt put two and two together before you meet up (unless ... (read in full...)
| *aisy_Daisy's friends
These are mutual friends, so *aisy_Daisy has
added them and they have added *aisy_Daisy!
|
