Why does he say he feels no connection ?
Q. My Bf of 1 year says he feels no connection to me. he says he is not my BF. yet we go out, have sex. We started out wrong with sex. He had a cheating GF that lived with him and since then several years of not dating. Now me.. and he says no c...
A. 28 September 2013: If you don't want to date others then don't. Be single for a while and allow yourself to get over this relationship. He clearly doesn't want a relationship with you if he's happy for you to date other people, sorry to say .. you really must let him ... (read in full...)
Can an affair with a married man ever end happily for the other woman?
Q. Hello everyone. Before I begin, I realize I am opening myself up to a firestorm of very harsh judgment, name calling and comments from Dear Cupid's advice givers and readers. Please do not judge me. We all walk different paths in life and make...
A. 27 September 2013: "I think I just need to come to terms with it on my own" etc - if that's the way you feel, why post here at all?
OP, you've had a huge amount of feedback (excellent, well thought-out comments that people have taken significant time to compose)... (read in full...)
What's the deal with ALWAYS making dates and then not going through with them?
Q. Okay, so about 2 weeks ago I'm in the grocery store and this girl is checking me out. It occurs to me to hit on her, but I ultimately don't. On my walk home, the same girl pulls up beside me and starts chatting me up. She tells me I'm perfect, cute ...
A. 26 September 2013: Unfortunately I'm leaning towards her being 'too busy' to phone you tomorrow night. Have fun at the party either way!... (read in full...)
Why do I want to hold onto my ex when he cheated and I didn't?
Q. Hi and thanks My ex boyfriend and I are still communicating and I still love him but hes distancing himself from me. We broke up about 4 weeks ago and his reason for being aloof is his son is talking back to his mom. Yrs ago we were in a rela...
A. 25 September 2013: Please read your original post back to yourself and try to be objective, as if your best friend/ sister was telling you this story. What would you say to her? What would you wish for her?
It's clear as day that this man is no good for you whatsoev... (read in full...)
Should I move on or give him some time?
Q. I've been on a few dates with this guy and he has been a gentleman, very romantic etc. He tells me that he likes me over and over again and that he wants to get to know me. We have kissed and cuddled only. Now my problem/ confusion is tha...
A. 24 September 2013: I wouldn't date someone who is dating other people, even though it's becoming more and more common. I think seeing more than one person at a time is very complicated, even when it's completely out in the open.
He was honest with you at least, a... (read in full...)
Is it against the law to save photos from facebook?
Q. I have taken to saving pictures of girls in my class wearing bikinis from Facebook or Twitter. All I want to know is if it is first of all legal and secondly if its creepy to do so. I've never shown anyone this and nobody knows I do it. I am ...
A. 23 September 2013: Thankfully I've never posted a bikini shot on Facebook. It never occurred to me that people might save photos the I post - I'm naive, I suppose ... as are the female friends of the OP. ... (read in full...)
Is it against the law to save photos from facebook?
Q. I have taken to saving pictures of girls in my class wearing bikinis from Facebook or Twitter. All I want to know is if it is first of all legal and secondly if its creepy to do so. I've never shown anyone this and nobody knows I do it. I am ...
A. 23 September 2013: Definitely creepy, for the exact reasons Cerberus describes. ... (read in full...)
What's the deal with ALWAYS making dates and then not going through with them?
Q. Okay, so about 2 weeks ago I'm in the grocery store and this girl is checking me out. It occurs to me to hit on her, but I ultimately don't. On my walk home, the same girl pulls up beside me and starts chatting me up. She tells me I'm perfect, cute ...
A. 23 September 2013: Again, I don't know what is going on in her head, but if she was really that keen on going on a date she wouldn't stay in the gym til 10pm.
When her spontaneity becomes unreliability, it's not a good thing! It's actually quite disrespe... (read in full...)
What's the deal with ALWAYS making dates and then not going through with them?
Q. Okay, so about 2 weeks ago I'm in the grocery store and this girl is checking me out. It occurs to me to hit on her, but I ultimately don't. On my walk home, the same girl pulls up beside me and starts chatting me up. She tells me I'm perfect, cute ...
A. 23 September 2013: I'm afraid I can't help with what's going on in her head but agree that it's confusing. Have you actually been on a date with her, or is it all calls/ texts? Maybe she enjoys chasing but isn't so keen on actually dating.. who knows. Weird unless ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend only calls me to spend the night then pretends he's busy for work the day after.
Q. hii am a totally confused lady..i have dated my boyfriend for two months now heading three.and i like him alot hs everything av ever wanted in a man but the problem is i think either he is seing another person or he is just using me for sex...he ...
A. 22 September 2013: I also read your other post, to which my reply is: stop having sex with him.
The honeymoon period didn't last long with this man; after only 2-3 months he is showing his true colours. He's acting like a brute.
You should reevaluate what ... (read in full...)
Did I overreact, or is she too cold for me?
Q. I have been seeing this chick for 2 months now and the relationship so far has been very boring relationship. She really doesn't communicate. We had sex a week after we met up and it was great. Then we had sex 1 more time but it's always me ...
A. 21 September 2013: Perhaps she wanted to feel like she was your girlfriend rather than "this chick".
I think she rushed into a sexual relationship with you too soon, tried to slow it down in order to get to know you properly, at which point it became "boring"... (read in full...)
Can an affair with a married man ever end happily for the other woman?
Q. Hello everyone. Before I begin, I realize I am opening myself up to a firestorm of very harsh judgment, name calling and comments from Dear Cupid's advice givers and readers. Please do not judge me. We all walk different paths in life and make...
A. 20 September 2013: OP, you sound completely confused (no wonder) and I don't believe you are following your heart; rather your ego and your need to be wanted and desired. I'm not saying that in a nasty way, but when this is behind you, I think you will realise that ... (read in full...)
Can an affair with a married man ever end happily for the other woman?
Q. Hello everyone. Before I begin, I realize I am opening myself up to a firestorm of very harsh judgment, name calling and comments from Dear Cupid's advice givers and readers. Please do not judge me. We all walk different paths in life and make...
A. 20 September 2013: OP, no it really isn't worth all the angst and pain. I'd strongly suggest you walk away now. Cut him off all together and move on. ... (read in full...)
Can an affair with a married man ever end happily for the other woman?
Q. Hello everyone. Before I begin, I realize I am opening myself up to a firestorm of very harsh judgment, name calling and comments from Dear Cupid's advice givers and readers. Please do not judge me. We all walk different paths in life and make...
A. 20 September 2013: OP, he said he knows he needs to make a choice and knows it's a big decision. In being kind to you, might I suggest you leave him to make this decision on his own. For your own well being, don't see him. Don't let yourself fall in any deeper. ... (read in full...)
Getting mixed vibes from this guy who ended things then reappeared. Any advise?
Q. Hi all, just looking for a bit of advice. Posted not so long ago as I had just started seeing a guy who had recently got out of a relationship. We met on a night out and from then he was texting me and we met up a few times. He would message every ...
A. 18 September 2013: It sounds like he's downgraded you from potential girlfriend to potential friends with benefits, I'm afraid.
Don't be so laid back that you get hurt. No more kisses, and especially no more "etc", for this guy.
I'd say: let him get over his... (read in full...)
Would it be reasonable for me to ask him to limit the picture of his ex to the kid's bedroom?
Q. Hi everyone. I would like to know how other people feel about their husbands displaying pictures of their ex-wives in their new home with their new partner? My boyfriend and I are moving in to a new place together next month. He currently displays ...
A. 18 September 2013: Picking up on what iAmHere says, I'd be more concerned that you write she's his wife and not ex wife. Was that a typo? Ex-wife with a few photos up is different to wife with photos up.
Not to brush your valid question about the child aside, but ... (read in full...)
I'm interested in a guy, and he likes me, but he had a one night stand with my friend!
Q. Hi all, would really appreciate some advice. Around three/four months ago my relationship of three and a half years started to break down. Its slowly been starting to die for the last year but I guess we didn't want to face it. Therefore when t...
A. 18 September 2013: He's extremely good looking and makes you laugh, meanwhile you are freshly out of a long term relationship and in dangerous rebound territory.
I know you like this man, but I don't. He slept with your (very drunk) friend just to go along with it ... (read in full...)
Should I tell them that I am also dating other people because at the moment I am not looking for a relationship, I am just enjoying myself as I am not sure what I am looking for?
Q. hey, just some quick advice really... I have been dating 2 girls, one girl I have been on a few dates with over the past few months and another girl I have dated a couple of times. Should I tell them that I am also dating other people because ...
A. 18 September 2013: The best thing to do is tell them both. Be upfront about your intentions. You might lose one or both of these women, but at least you're not setting them up to get hurt. Anyway you certainly have to tell the one who directly asked - she might be ... (read in full...)
I need this drunken night passionate kiss to wear off my brain. How?
Q. I have known this guy for about 6 years. A girlfriend of mine visited me from Turkey and stayed with me in the states. I don't have details but I thought she was hoping to have a relationship with him. She is married with kids now. Out of the blu...
A. 17 September 2013: I just feel you have not been very clear with him and have shown clear disinterest at times, e.g. going back to him asking you out on a date (movies) and you refusing, then not giving him the time of day at your birthday. What was the reason for ... (read in full...)
Is this where I draw the line, are there 'rules' for when you are told to F yourself?
Q. My boyfriend has said "fuck you" to me at increasing frequency. I remember the first time being offended, he said it with anger towards me in an argument. The next time it made an impression, I remember thinking I was numb to hearing it, and ...
A. 17 September 2013: LoveinQuanta is actually correct. When I replied earlier, it was after recalling an awful date when the guy told me to "f**k off" completely out of nowhere. I had not told him to shut up, or anything like it. I never saw him again; his anger ... (read in full...)
How Long Do You Pay For EVERYTHING When Dating?
Q. At what point do you start to split the bills, if you will, when dating? I'm 3 weeks or so into it with this girl, and I'm starting to really feel the burn on my wallet. I know she's not a "gold digger" and I'm almost more than certain she'd be fine ...
A. 17 September 2013: You draw the line before you're broke.
I think you should have let her pay part of the bill when she offered. Don't pretend to have more disposable income than you really do; if this is leading anywhere, you should be honest from the start. ... (read in full...)
Shouldn't we get to know each other a bit more before we actually meet?
Q. Hey fellow aunts and uncles, i started online dating about 6 months ago and i was a bit disappointed with it as it was always older men or creepy messages i got :( However this really cute guy messaged me, just the normal how are you?. We started ...
A. 17 September 2013: Some people don't want to chat that much online and prefer to meet face to face sooner rather than later (I think this is best; it stops you building up a caricature of them in your mind). But I agree, it's odd if he never replies to your questions. ... (read in full...)
I need this drunken night passionate kiss to wear off my brain. How?
Q. I have known this guy for about 6 years. A girlfriend of mine visited me from Turkey and stayed with me in the states. I don't have details but I thought she was hoping to have a relationship with him. She is married with kids now. Out of the blu...
A. 17 September 2013: What was the "certain way" you felt that stopped you going to his birthday? And why didn't you tell him whether or not you were going?
He's probably scratching his head and wondering whether you're interested, to be honest.
I don't really und... (read in full...)
What's up with him only wanting sex with me from behind?
Q. My boyfriend wants to have sex with me only from behind… what is that all about? ... It is comming on the fift year we are together and for last couple of years it is just that one position. From behind. I am bored, I love him very much and I can ...
A. 17 September 2013: I don't think him getting offended should stop you from expressing yourself fully. If he's using scare tactics to shut you up and control you, perhaps you should make him aware that you're not scared to admit that there's a problem in the ... (read in full...)
Is this where I draw the line, are there 'rules' for when you are told to F yourself?
Q. My boyfriend has said "fuck you" to me at increasing frequency. I remember the first time being offended, he said it with anger towards me in an argument. The next time it made an impression, I remember thinking I was numb to hearing it, and ...
A. 17 September 2013: You rightly don't want a child to see it's mother being treated this way - that really is the bottom line. You are thinking of ending it, and I would be thinking exactly the same. It's better to end it sooner rather than later, in my opinion.
... (read in full...)
How can I help my girlfriend sexually without pressuring her?
Q. Hello! I have a beautiful girlfriend who lives 200 odd miles away, and, with that said, we only get to see each other every 2-3 months. While I feel incredibly lucky to have her, she has some rather serious intimacy and self esteem issues. S...
A. 16 September 2013: Why does she hate herself? What are these serious issues with self esteem that you mention? Have you talked to her about these things? These are not things to be brushed under the carpet - they are at the root of her keeping her distance ... (read in full...)
Should I just leave my ex alone or should I talk to her?
Q. I have been in a couple relationships before. They all ended pretty badly and we just stopped talking. My ex girlfriend, who I just broke up with about 2 weeks ago, was the first serious girlfriend I have broken up with and still actually like... ...
A. 16 September 2013: Definitely leave her alone. Don't start sending her mixed messages, because that's what they'd be to her. You don't like her or care for her enough to want to be in a relationship with her, so there's no use telling her these things.
You feel sad ... (read in full...)
Why does he say he feels no connection ?
Q. My Bf of 1 year says he feels no connection to me. he says he is not my BF. yet we go out, have sex. We started out wrong with sex. He had a cheating GF that lived with him and since then several years of not dating. Now me.. and he says no c...
A. 16 September 2013: Hi OP
No, you can't change him, or his lack of feelings for you, but you can change yourself. You need to realise that you require more than this man can offer you. He's been honest with you about feeling "no connection". That's really all you need... (read in full...)
My best friend and my ex are dating just 3 days after we broke up!
Q. I had a boyfriend that i was really, really in love with. He was the first in everything for my life, I thought of him before myself. We had great time, he was my first kiss actually which is weird for me because i am not attracted to how a person ...
A. 15 September 2013: OP, I commend you for being so accommodating. X... (read in full...)
Does FWB want more?
Q. Ok.. I'm hoping someone can help... I have a kind of fwb situation going on with a guy I work with. It was him who asked me about it, as we were both single and not looking for an intense relationship, as both of us had been hurt in the past. So ...
A. 15 September 2013: Nobody here can predict the future. Though I think it's safe to say that FWB or whatever you label it is dangerous territory, and relationships with coworkers are also dangerous territory. So that's a double whammy.
All I can suggest is that you... (read in full...)
My mother thinks I should use birth control but I disagree
Q. Well my mom saw my bf just yesterday but she has frequently heard about him and i that we dating. Today on the radio they were talking about how parents should oversee how their children behave. she brought the issue of taking birth control pills. ...
A. 15 September 2013: You say you are sexually active but very very safe. I hope this means you're using condoms every single time? It only takes one time of not being safe to expose yourself to STDs (I'm particularly worried about HIV in your case) and pregnancy.
... (read in full...)
I love my best friend, but he causes me pain; is he mysterious or a psychopath?
Q. Hello everyone 3 Things are getting out of control here and I could really appreciate some help! I’m painfully in love with my best friend. He is fun and at the same time he’s conservative, he is sometimes gentle and some other times really cynic...
A. 15 September 2013: OP, I really think you need to focus your attention away from him and back to your difficult childhood and why you get turned on by rejection. I know it's sometimes easier to focus/ obsess about something/ someone else rather than address the real ... (read in full...)
How can I help my girlfriend feel less "broken" and regain confidence after a previously emotionally abusive relationship?
Q. A little over 5 months ago I met my "dream girl", and our relationship has been going really well so far. I'm 24 and she is 22. She doesn't seem to have a whole lot of confidence in herself though. I asked her about it in the nicest way possible and ...
A. 15 September 2013: OP you sound lovely! Such loveliness can bring us softy females to tears, sometimes.
Don't feel bad that you made her cry. If it was because of your sweet words and not the film or hormones or whatever, it's her showing her emotions, which is... (read in full...)
Why did male friend delete and block me on social media?
Q. I befriended a prominent political figure on social media (Twitter first, then Facebook) and we seemed to get along very well. He started a political news organization and he invited me to work with him and I accepted. He's very, very conservative ...
A. 15 September 2013: Hi OP
Was it always platonic between you? I assume it was, but I'm trying to understand his intense, possessive jealousy in a platonic/ professional relationship.
I don't think you should reach out to him again. He sounds very flaky. This is n... (read in full...)
People think my guy is so great but they don't see what I see!
Q. Has anybody ever gone through this, or at least seen it happening before? I have what I would call a normally very sweet guy. My family love him and my friends always tell me how lucky I am, and wish they could meet someone like him. They ask why we ...
A. 15 September 2013: Well done, OP. The best way to keep it finished is to go No Contact. Stop all communication now, be it text, email, whatever. Don't let mutual friends convey messages. Stay strong x ... (read in full...)
Was I wrong in how I asked the question about her 'number'? I've had 6 sexual partners, she's had 65.
Q. I am not your typical guy but to date in my life i have had a total of six female sexual partners. All were long term relationships and each relationship was rewarding and satisfying. I started these when i was sixteen years old and continued ...
A. 15 September 2013: The fact that she's slept with 65 guys (that's a lot!) and her reaction to the discussion suggest to me that there's some underlying issue she hasn't brought up. It's probably for the best that she's having some alone time to dwell on it all and ... (read in full...)
Friend-zoned ... I need help!
Q. Hi, I need some help and advice. I have been liking this girl. A week ago, I hint my feelings to her. We texted and heart to heart talk a little. She finds me a good friend and she don't want to be involve in a relationship. She wants to wait un...
A. 14 September 2013: Why are you waiting to be bluntly rejected? Can't you see that she's not interested?
OP, you are being obsessive and if I was her I'd be more than a little freaked out by you.
She's entitled to text the other guy. It is none of your business... (read in full...)
Why is my ex's girlfriend telling me I'm evil and ugly?!
Q. It's been 3 yrs!! since my separation my ex a cheater!! I am in a good place emotionally and it seems that my ex's current girlfriend is on facebook under a fake account and messaging me calling me ugly and how my ex is happy and at peace. Funny ...
A. 14 September 2013: He's obviously painted a different picture of what happened in the marriage to make him seem the victim and you the nasty one. Doesn't matter, you know better. She must be pretty crazy to go to the effort of making up a fake profile to harass you - ... (read in full...)
How to become less needy in my relationship?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 months. I've dated a lot of guys but actually falling for a guy is rare for me. But I definitely fell for with my current boyfriend, hard. And it scares me. A long time ago I was in a sexually and emotiona...
A. 14 September 2013: Hi OP,
Did you ever get counselling after the abusive relationship? If not, I think it would really help you.
You mention your mum is emotionally detached. It makes sense why you are unable to tolerate being single and why you feel over-at... (read in full...)
People think my guy is so great but they don't see what I see!
Q. Has anybody ever gone through this, or at least seen it happening before? I have what I would call a normally very sweet guy. My family love him and my friends always tell me how lucky I am, and wish they could meet someone like him. They ask why we ...
A. 13 September 2013: He called you abusive?! How strange, since he's the one cheating (or at least trying to), lying and name calling. He's chopping you down and trying to make you question your judgement - and he's doing a good job of it, because rather than trusting ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend believes a threesome will bring us closer but I've heard horror stories about them
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for the past year and recently he's asked me about having a threesome. I'm secure with myself and my sexuality. I'm also confident in our relationship. I've just heard alot of horror stories that follow a threesome ...
A. 12 September 2013: OP if your mind is made up, I question why you asked for advise? I'm not expecting you to answer that, but just reflect. ... (read in full...)
Any tips how not to be negative towards myself and be positive?
Q. How have people got them selves motivated? And aim towards goals.. I'm in a rut of a life cycle , I have a basic job with naf pay and feel I can't move foward with life.. I feel I'm going no where. I'm not depressed as I work etc but I kn...
A. 12 September 2013: What good advise from Older and Cerberus.
OP, you are normal. It's (unfortunately) not unusual to feel the way you do. Especially if you're an estate agent ;)
Why not go and see a life coach? Find one who offers the first session for free... (read in full...)
Is it safe to assume he's infertile?
Q. My boyfriend had the snip nearly 3 years ago we have been together now for 6 months..he has said he is infertile but has admitted that he never went back for the test to confirm this..could he get me pregnant or is it safe to say I would have got ...
A. 12 September 2013: Never assume anything, especially if you don't want to get "caught". Go to your nearest family planning clinic together (you're in the UK, it's free) and get this sorted out (STD checks as well). This is not something to be lazy about. ... (read in full...)
How can I stop the leaking after sex?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now, but there is this thing thats been annoying me for some time now… Whenever my boyfriend cums in me after sex, it never like stays in me? whenever I stand up I can feel it leak out, especial...
A. 12 September 2013: What goes up must come down.
If you want to get it out in one go rather than dribbles, go to the loo (clenching your muscles down there on the way) then sit on the loo - or squat in the shower - and do the valsalva manoeuvre (push down like you... (read in full...)
Boyfriend believes a threesome will bring us closer but I've heard horror stories about them
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for the past year and recently he's asked me about having a threesome. I'm secure with myself and my sexuality. I'm also confident in our relationship. I've just heard alot of horror stories that follow a threesome ...
A. 12 September 2013: I'm just repeating what everyone else has said, really, but I'm betting he's asking for another woman rather a man to make the threesome?
It won't bring you closer to each other. More likely, you'll both lose a bit (or a lot) of respect for one ... (read in full...)
I need this drunken night passionate kiss to wear off my brain. How?
Q. I have known this guy for about 6 years. A girlfriend of mine visited me from Turkey and stayed with me in the states. I don't have details but I thought she was hoping to have a relationship with him. She is married with kids now. Out of the blu...
A. 11 September 2013: Yeah, you've got nothing to lose, OP. Just take it at your pace (i.e. no rushing to bed before you're ready). Sounds like he's been interested for a while :)... (read in full...)
I need this drunken night passionate kiss to wear off my brain. How?
Q. I have known this guy for about 6 years. A girlfriend of mine visited me from Turkey and stayed with me in the states. I don't have details but I thought she was hoping to have a relationship with him. She is married with kids now. Out of the blu...
A. 11 September 2013: Hi OP,
If he likes you that much, and/or generally feels like he's in the right place to date and have a relationship, he can ask you out on a date. He could do that old fashioned thing and court you. If he's not asking you on dates, and tries to... (read in full...)
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