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*henCowsAttack

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Married but falling for someone across the world

Q.   I'm married with 3 children. A few weeks ago, I met a wonderful man in a pub in Edinburgh. He's Australian and was on a cricket tour. We instantly connected and got on do well I found myself being attracted to him. We shared a kiss at the end of the ...

A.   16 August 2017: You are not in love with this man. You are in love with the idea of him, and you are in lust with his body/accent/etc. You are also married, and you cheated on your husband. This is unconscionable. You need to cut all ties with this fantasy ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend is insisting I sell my house

Q.   I'm a women in her late 40's and my boyfriend of 5 years is in his mid 50's. Both of us have been married 2x's and we both have children in teen's and early 20's. I own my home and he lives in a family member's extra home in a different city. He ...

A.   27 August 2016: Whoah. This is not ok. He's gaslighting you. This is not about the house. It's about revenge and control. He still holds a grudge over the time you threw him out, and he wants to punish you for it. He says you can't live in your home? He will "al... (read in full...)

Is it still my fault that she ghosted me for being a nice guy?

Q.   So some time ago, around eight months ago, i was ghosted by a woman i treated with kindest, but a lot of you put me down saying i deserved what i got, so i found out some things about her i didn't know about. One thing she told me she has only bee...

A.   26 August 2016: Did she still have the "right" to end the relationship? Yep. Anyone has that right, at anytime and for any reason, even if that reason is "I don't like your shoes". Case closed.... (read in full...)

He says he's the victim. He's smug and confident and denies he hit me. How can I get my things back from him?

Q.   I feel hurt by my ex and don't know what to do about it. Our relationship was just 6 months but very intense. He had a serious life threatening physical illness when I was with him and I had a mental breakdown shortly after from the stress of it bu...

A.   8 August 2016: You are not moving on. Moving on would be to never speak to that horrible man again. Yet you keep contacting him. Ask yourself why. ... (read in full...)

Should I be chasing the romantic highs

Q.   Is the fairytale real or are relationships hard work? I've been with my boyfriend 3 years; lived together for 1.5. I love him dearly and we get on well 99 per cent of the time. While I love spending time with him and get the warm fuzzy feeling ...

A.   30 July 2016: This is a hard question to answer. I'm married to the man that I KNOW that I want to spend the rest of my life with, and I'm here to tell you that it isn't always exciting. It's not always warm and fuzzy, either. Marriage never is. What's ... (read in full...)

Social media signs are worrying me

Q.   I'm friends with a female at work and was on Facebook, but she deleted me from her list of friends due to a misunderstanding, which has since been sorted out. She said she would put me back on her list of friends on Facebook but nothing has ...

A.   30 July 2016: Leave it be. If she hasn't added you yet then it is clear she doesn't want to and is making excuses. While it is best to be up front with people, it sounds like there may be a reason. What sort of misunderstanding did you have? To be honest,... (read in full...)

Has anyone ever wasted 10 years of their life and not lived to regret it?

Q.   This could be very long but I will keep it short. Has anybody ever wasted 10 years of their life.. And lived enough not to regret it. This holds me down badly. ...

A.   20 July 2016: Yes. It was hard, but I finally realized that in life, there are no take backs. Regret only held me back further. I had to totally adjust my mindset in order to make it work, but I did it.... (read in full...)

I need help. Who can help me with these issues? Who would accept me like this?

Q.   I am 37 years old and i still play with dolls. I feel that they're real. I give them a name and a voice as well. I sleep with them and I'm very over protective as well. My son hates one of my dolls because he feels i give them more attention...

A.   15 July 2016: We can't help you with this. This is a major issue. You have created a fantasy world that is consuming you to the point where your actual, blood and flesh child apparently feels neglected. This is not good. Your son should come first in your ... (read in full...)

He called me nasty names. No apology. We broke up. What should I do, in the circumstances?

Q.   Hi there everybody I recently had the biggest argument with my now ex boyfriend. It all started because it took him 7 hours to reply to my text Anyway after 2 days of arguing over text he tells me I'm a heartless gutless liar. I did not e...

A.   9 July 2016: So you made fun of heavyset people and he found it offensive. I don't blame him, that is extremely offensive and childish. Poor example that makes you look like the jerk. So he went 7 whole hours with no contact. He was probably busy or working.... (read in full...)

Is it me that is making women act like this?

Q.   Hello everyone, I'm looking for some advice. I am a male who was abused both psychologically and physically. I am no longer in that relationship but I have been on my own for many years now. I do have difficulty in letting other people in ...

A.   7 July 2016: Nope. She was out of line. She would only have continued being abusive to you had you not ended it You've suffered enough, friend. Don't allow anyone to abuse you ever again. You did the right thing.... (read in full...)

Does the evidence suggest that he's gay or transgender?

Q.   I wrote the post "We had our first kiss and it wasnt magic as expected! Now what?" few days ago. After the advice i got from my lovely aunties here i was on my way to end things with him but before that i asked my trusted friend what she thinks ...

A.   2 July 2016: I think he was just messing around. But I must agree that it is not cool to send you home alone like that. If he's so afraid then why isn't he afraid for you, a young female who is probably not as physically strong as him? If it is so dangerou... (read in full...)

Engaged to be married man after my friend at work. Is this now a competition?

Q.   There's a guy at work who is jealous I'm friends with this female. The problem is he's very full of himself and tries to ruin moments I have with her, when I talk to her. To my horror, I found out he is friends with her on facebook today, I don't kn...

A.   30 June 2016: You've got to get over this sense of entitlement. Man up. It's simple, you ask her whether she'd like to get coffee sometime. And he didn't "come along and ruin" anything. If anything you are ruining it by taking so darned long to make a move. Sh... (read in full...)

We had our first kiss and it wasn't magic as expected! Now what?

Q.   We had our first kiss and it wasnt magic as expected. I am dating a guy who has been hitting on me for three years now. I am 20 he is 23 i thought i had feelings for him but yesterday when we had our first kiss i didnt enjoy. It was strange, tasted ...

A.   30 June 2016: I don't know. I think I kind of disagree with the previous posters though. I have never, ever had a relationship work out if there was no chemistry on that first kiss. I've stayed in relationships far too long when really that should have been a red ... (read in full...)

Another guy has spoilt our friendship

Q.   I'm friends with a female at work and I'm concerned that she isn't into me anymore like she used to be. We used to talk, have a laugh and things seem to have changed. A man who I'm not friends with anymore and who I'm not keen on is now friends ...

A.   30 June 2016: Ah, workplace drama. There's nothing you can do. If she isn't into you then she isn't into you. You can't force her, and you can't prevent them from being friends. I'm sorry that this is causing you pain, but they are adults and free to hang out... (read in full...)

Not sure if 'No' means no for good

Q.   Asked a female out for a drink from the office of where I work and she said she would get back to me. And she did, unfortunately it wasn't good news. It was a rejection reply. I absolutely hate them. Anyway she explained she wasn't able to see me ...

A.   26 June 2016: If I were her, and you kept demanding an explanation even though I had repeatedly said no, I'd be livid. Don't be surprised if she rips you a new one. Frankly I am beginning to find this a bit creepy. It's bordering on the obsessive now. You've ... (read in full...)

I feel I'm missing out on a experience that I desperately want to feel.

Q.   I'm a man and I'm confused about my sexuality with no idea how to confront it. For as long as I've had an identity I've never labelled my sexuality as what's between the ears has always been more superior to me opposed to how someone identifies. ...

A.   23 June 2016: Hi there! Poor guy, this must be rough on you. My own husband is bisexual. I did not find out until we'd been together for a while (yes, I married him after I found out). Fortunately, unlike you, he had a number of experiences when... (read in full...)

Can I trust this man's motives?

Q.   It's been a while since I have post. I went on a few times with this guy. He tried to kiss me but I shy away. As he has a girlfriend. We held off going out for a while. We started talking again and we are going to the movies next weekend. I am in ...

A.   6 June 2016: He has a girlfriend. Enough said.... (read in full...)

First time to a strip club with Bf. How should I feel about his behaviour? How else could I have reacted?

Q.   So me and my bf have been dating for 5 years. I'm not the jealous type, I let him stare at other girls. Sometimes we even check them out together, because I mean come on, guys are going to look at other girls regardless; but for some reason I got ...

A.   3 June 2016: I'm surprised nobody has mentioned him touching this girl. Where on earth do you live in the USA that this is allowed? In my state no no no way are you allowed to touch the dancers. Even in a lap dance, they can grind all over you but you'd better ... (read in full...)

Chance to see a girl at a party who I talked to online, before she rejected me. Do I try to speak to her? Do I just pretend it never happened?

Q.   This is quite embarrassing but I met a girl online. I found out recently I have the chance to meet her. Really random and unlikely, so maybe its a sign we are meant to be? Either way all this time I still have not moved on and forgot about her...

A.   23 May 2016: No. Leave her be. She already told you she wants nothing to do with you. You lied to her right off the bat. This is your mistake and you need to learn from it in the future. Forget about her. Just don't do the same thing to the next girl you me... (read in full...)

Should I cut ties with the friend who still hears from the mutual friend I fell out with?

Q.   I have a dilemma about a friend (Girl A) of mine who is also a friend with another girl that I had a bad fall out with (Girl B). The thing is - I got hurt and betrayed badly by Girl B - so after the fallout I tried to disassociate myself from bot...

A.   20 May 2016: I don't see why you should cut this friend off. Doesn't make any sense to me. Sounds more like you need to just move on from the girl who caused you harm. You are still letting it poison you. Stop concerning yourself with her, at all. Stop tal... (read in full...)

I'm at a loss how to handle this unfair and uncomfortable accusation!

Q.   I've had a really bizarre situation and would like some advice and on how I can handle the situation from now. Yesterday there was a knock on my door my boyfriend answered and it was the police He came upstairs and told me they said there has been...

A.   12 May 2016: Wow. That is uncomfortable isn't it? It would have been nice of them to talk to you first. Do you know these people at all? Have you ever spoken to them? Hopefully the police have and they are now terribly embarrassed that they have wrongful... (read in full...)

Is it because I'm telling the truth? My controlling husband does not like what I've been saying?

Q.   my husband who is very controlling turned me against members of my family because he obviously is jealous, now that I have got in touch with these people again after 3 years of not speaking. My husband does not like it but I am much stronger now...

A.   11 May 2016: And you are still with this horrible man, why?... (read in full...)

Why did my boyfriend tell me he was with his mom all day when he actually went out without her?

Q.   Hello. I need your help in figuring out my boyfriend's actions today. Here is what happened. I texted him this morning at around 11. I said "good morning" to him like usual. But there was no reply. Usually he replies pretty quickly. I th...

A.   11 May 2016: Sorry, I very much agree with anonymous. You are behaving outrageously. You have no right to park yourself across from your boyfriends house like a private detective and spy on him. I don't care whether someone cheated on you in the past. Th... (read in full...)

Am I being paranoid? Or should I be wary of her intentions towards my Bf? What should I do?

Q.   I have been seeing my Housing Officer for about a year now. We have kept it hidden as he would lose his job if it came out. He's a Housing Officer for our Local Council and I'm a Tenant under the Council. So big no no in his books. I really like him...

A.   7 May 2016: You have a weird feeling because she is doing this deliberately. Why? Who knows? Most likely because she is insecure. Often, women who go off with tons of different men do so because they suffer a desperate need for attention. They sometime... (read in full...)

Should I risk things by finding out if a co-worker feels the same ?

Q.   I am a professional woman in my early 30's. I have been with my partner for 7 years, and there have been a lot of ups and downs. While we have a deep and intense passion for each other, as well as a profound love, there has also been a lot of ...

A.   7 May 2016: So. Let me get this straight. You want to know whether this man likes you too, because if he does you will immediately begin a torrid illicit affair with him in the broom closet, fall madly in love, and eventually trot off with him into the great ... (read in full...)

What should I do to prevent him from disturbing me?

Q.   I’m 25plus and my guy whom am dating 30plus we both love each other so much and there was one of his best male friend he introduced me to, we both went to his house together but after that day my guy thought he is dating him secretly or we’ve know...

A.   1 May 2016: I guess I don't understand. Did your boyfriend leave you to date this male friend? ... (read in full...)

What are the main reasons that would motivate a woman to want to break up with a guy?

Q.   I would like the opinion of the lady's an men who write in all the time, my question is what's the main reasons for women to dump the guys? Is it they found some one new, he cheated , he treats her bad, got bored of him, he was to nice, came on ...

A.   30 April 2016: Hey, I've done that a few times. And yes, I had someone else lined up before I actually left, but no, that was not why I left. I left because those relationships were abusive. I had someone else waiting because I was insecure and afraid to be al... (read in full...)

I lost my erection just before sex, is this ED?

Q.   Hi all Ive been with my partner 7 years now, we are both in our 40's and in decent health Recently we were intimate, i gave her oral to orgasm, then went to have sex....to my horror i had gone semi hard, and couldnt have intercourse My p...

A.   25 April 2016: Not necessarily ed, and with just one instance I wouldn't worry. It is, however, medically true that once men get into their 40s and beyond it takes more work to maintain an erection. Those little guys don't work perfectly forever! Fortunat... (read in full...)

Should I say something to my boss tomorrow?

Q.   I just got in an argument with my boss well basically his my general manager.And I do not know what to do or if I should do or say anything tomorrow.. He said that I have a nasty attitude and a nasty way of answering his questions. S...

A.   22 April 2016: Yes, you do have to treat your boss with respect if you want to keep your job. Believe me, I have worked for some real jerks over the years and it was sometimes very hard to bite my tongue. I would start looking for something else right away.... (read in full...)

My wife is secretive about her new massage therapist

Q.   Hi, I hope someone can help me, my wife has booked a massage with a different masseur, but she is keeping it a secret from me. Should I be worried?...

A.   18 April 2016: I don't understand why you needed to be involved in decisions regarding HER massages in the first place. Her body, her comfort, her rubdown. I'm genuinely confused here. Shouldn't you be grateful that she is making her own decisions? ... (read in full...)

Why would my ex sign my son's birthday card this way?

Q.   Hi, This may be a strange question... my son who is 12 today, received a birthday card from his dad (my ex)that was signed with my ex's name instead of love Dad etc. In brackets next to my ex's name he has written in brackets 'your daddy'. He has n...

A.   18 April 2016: You are over thinking this. I'm sure there is no hidden meaning. It is just a card. ... (read in full...)

What could be the consequences if my Gf and I did follow through with our wish to have sex, discretely, in a public place?

Q.   My gf and I want to experiment more sexually. She wants to have sex some place public, like a mall changing room or movie theatre . What exactly would happen if we get caught? She has given me head in a movie but we were pretty discreet about i...

A.   16 April 2016: Depends. Maybe nothing. However, if someone calls the police you could be arrested and charged with a crime. In my city fairly recently a couple was caught in a strange place, arrested, and their mugshots plastered all over the local news with of ... (read in full...)

What could be the consequences if my Gf and I did follow through with our wish to have sex, discretely, in a public place?

Q.   My gf and I want to experiment more sexually. She wants to have sex some place public, like a mall changing room or movie theatre . What exactly would happen if we get caught? She has given me head in a movie but we were pretty discreet about i...

A.   16 April 2016: Depends. Maybe nothing. However, if someone calls the police you could be arrested and charged with a crime. In my city fairly recently a couple was caught in a strange place, arrested, and their mugshots plastered all over the local news with of ... (read in full...)

My BF has two red marks on his neck which were not there this morning. Should I worry he cheated?

Q.   My BF has 2 red marks on his neck. They look like pimples only larger and flatter. They are close together. You could almost compare it to a vampire bite. What could they be? Background: He was supposed to come and see me this afternoon. He ...

A.   14 April 2016: He probably seems distant because he is upset that his girlfriend is treating him like a little kid and demanding to know where he is at all hours of the day and night. Threatening to call his coworkers to check up on him? Completely out of line. ... (read in full...)

Was anything wrong with me? My Bf is my sexual partner but now he's saying he thinks I was not a virgin when we met.

Q.   I was a virgin before I met my boyfriend. He found me too wet the other day when we had sex, like he just slipped in so easy I could feel it..so he claims i slept around or I masturbate but I do none of those things. He is the only guy I have ...

A.   1 April 2016: There is nothing wrong with you! He slipped in easily because you were turned on. There is something wrong with him. He is being jealous, paranoid and unreasonable. He is shaming you for something that doesn't exist. Please do not tolerate... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has accused me of suffering BO. I shower. What can I do?

Q.   My boyfriend of 4 months thinks that I have B.O. and I'm very hurt. I always shower when he comes over and he says that sometimes showering isn't enough, and that the natural deodorant I use isn't effective at times. He doesn't mind but highlig...

A.   1 April 2016: Don't be hurt. I'm sure that he was only trying to help. It is true that some people's noses are more sensitive than others, however maybe it just is masked more by your work clothing. Body odor is nothing to be ashamed of or hurt about. Are trad... (read in full...)

Do all women like to be watched while they are bathing?

Q.   When I ask my wife how she will feel if some one peek in her bathroom and watch her bath, she got extremely horny. Is that normal... how do I know she got extremely horny?, I was doing an intercource with her when I asked. So she basically went ...

A.   29 March 2016: Do all men like to be pegged while wearing a Little Red Riding Hood costume? Because my husband and I were getting frisky and he got even friskier when I mentioned that. See my point? ... (read in full...)

Should I stay good friends with my ex for our son's sake?

Q.   I have an issue that is sort of complicated. I have an ex fiancé and we have a son who is currently 3 years old. We were together about 4 and a half years or so. The reason we broke up is well he had cheated on me with a woman he had met. This st...

A.   24 March 2016: I'm good friends with my ex husband. But in our case it was mutual and nobody cheated. If you can, then it is the best thing for your child. That said, it is still too soon and your wounds are too fresh. I'd put a hold on any attempt at friendsh... (read in full...)

Why am I good enough to spend all her time with and have amazing sex, but not good enough to date

Q.   This is going to sound a bit backwards since it's usually the other way around. However, I have a fwb and she kinda confuses me sometimes. We have been sleeping together for around 6 months. And the sex is mind-blowing. Two people could not have b...

A.   24 March 2016: Have you had this discussion with her? It is time.... (read in full...)

How do I deal with these quite vicious older colleagues?

Q.   Hi all, some advice on dealing with older colleagues that can be quite vicious. So I'm a newly qualified nurse who has recently got a job on a large ward with a lot of staff. I'm young at only 23 and I think a lot of people have sly digs at me b...

A.   24 March 2016: Personally I think the best course of action is to laugh it off. "Yellow? Dang, I was going for more of an orange tone today. Oh well, back to the old drawing board". Then laugh and walk away. That leaves her with nothing to say. Sadly, many wom... (read in full...)

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