I need this drunken night passionate kiss to wear off my brain. How?
Q. I have known this guy for about 6 years. A girlfriend of mine visited me from Turkey and stayed with me in the states. I don't have details but I thought she was hoping to have a relationship with him. She is married with kids now. Out of the blu...
A. 17 September 2013: I just feel you have not been very clear with him and have shown clear disinterest at times, e.g. going back to him asking you out on a date (movies) and you refusing, then not giving him the time of day at your birthday. What was the reason for ... (read in full...)
I need this drunken night passionate kiss to wear off my brain. How?
Q. I have known this guy for about 6 years. A girlfriend of mine visited me from Turkey and stayed with me in the states. I don't have details but I thought she was hoping to have a relationship with him. She is married with kids now. Out of the blu...
A. 17 September 2013: What was the "certain way" you felt that stopped you going to his birthday? And why didn't you tell him whether or not you were going?
He's probably scratching his head and wondering whether you're interested, to be honest.
I don't really und... (read in full...)
Boyfriend believes a threesome will bring us closer but I've heard horror stories about them
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for the past year and recently he's asked me about having a threesome. I'm secure with myself and my sexuality. I'm also confident in our relationship. I've just heard alot of horror stories that follow a threesome ...
A. 12 September 2013: OP if your mind is made up, I question why you asked for advise? I'm not expecting you to answer that, but just reflect. ... (read in full...)
How can I stop the leaking after sex?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now, but there is this thing thats been annoying me for some time now… Whenever my boyfriend cums in me after sex, it never like stays in me? whenever I stand up I can feel it leak out, especial...
A. 12 September 2013: What goes up must come down.
If you want to get it out in one go rather than dribbles, go to the loo (clenching your muscles down there on the way) then sit on the loo - or squat in the shower - and do the valsalva manoeuvre (push down like you... (read in full...)
Last resort with distant boyfriend. Please help!! Need *all* the advice I can get!!
Q. Hey everyone! Let me start off by apologizing for this long post and giving many thanks to everyone who reads it. xx I really need some helpful advice to pull my boyfriend back to me. I'm 31 and my boyfriend's 35. We've been together for 3 y...
A. 12 September 2013: OP, journalling is a good start but it isn't going to help you in the same way as therapy does. Have you tried the options So_Very_Confused mentioned? It's true that therapists offer a sliding scale of fees, and you could have sessions fortnightly ... (read in full...)
We've been dating three weeks and are very awkward around each other
Q. i need help..my boyfriend and i have been dating for three weeks now and i seriously dont know what our problem is everytime we get together its ussually just arkward even our phone calls are ussually just short and end up with silent pauses and at ...
A. 12 September 2013: OP, I think that 3 weeks is too soon for you to call him your boyfriend. At 3 weeks you are just dating, really. And I think you've rushed into a sexual relationship too soon, which can make it harder to walk away.
It doesn't sound like the two ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend believes a threesome will bring us closer but I've heard horror stories about them
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for the past year and recently he's asked me about having a threesome. I'm secure with myself and my sexuality. I'm also confident in our relationship. I've just heard alot of horror stories that follow a threesome ...
A. 12 September 2013: I'm just repeating what everyone else has said, really, but I'm betting he's asking for another woman rather a man to make the threesome?
It won't bring you closer to each other. More likely, you'll both lose a bit (or a lot) of respect for one ... (read in full...)
I want to be horny but his idea of romance is humping me like a dog. Please somebody, give me some advice I can use!
Q. I am 19 and so is my boyfriend. We have been together since i was 13. I have always believed i should save myself for that one person...i had always known he was that one person but i was trying to wait till our honeymoon...well i didn't. At 16 i ...
A. 12 September 2013: The sex started waning when you gained weight. I strongly suggest starting regular exercise. It will boost your confidence once you start to lose weight. It will also help you deal with stress. ... (read in full...)
I need this drunken night passionate kiss to wear off my brain. How?
Q. I have known this guy for about 6 years. A girlfriend of mine visited me from Turkey and stayed with me in the states. I don't have details but I thought she was hoping to have a relationship with him. She is married with kids now. Out of the blu...
A. 11 September 2013: Yeah, you've got nothing to lose, OP. Just take it at your pace (i.e. no rushing to bed before you're ready). Sounds like he's been interested for a while :)... (read in full...)
I'm trying no contact with my Gf. But she is anxious and acting up. How do I handle this situation?
Q. Need some advice. I am doing this program where I don't have any contact with my ex for 30 days. I am on my 20th day of NC; Well I would've been on my 28 but I decided to extend it longer. My ex has been sending me random ex, like Do I don't ex...
A. 11 September 2013: Hi OP,
Did you tell your ex in advance that you were going No Contact, and why? Yes she should've got the hint by now, but maybe you need to spell that out to her.
You can do that in an email, saying, as politely as possible, that you wish to... (read in full...)
I need this drunken night passionate kiss to wear off my brain. How?
Q. I have known this guy for about 6 years. A girlfriend of mine visited me from Turkey and stayed with me in the states. I don't have details but I thought she was hoping to have a relationship with him. She is married with kids now. Out of the blu...
A. 11 September 2013: Hi OP,
If he likes you that much, and/or generally feels like he's in the right place to date and have a relationship, he can ask you out on a date. He could do that old fashioned thing and court you. If he's not asking you on dates, and tries to... (read in full...)
Wasn't the sex good for her? Why did she have to start masturbating immediately after I had my orgasm?
Q. If I slept with a girl after our 2nd date and after a 10-minute intercourse where I orgasmed, she proceeded to immediately start masturbating and even asked me to do it for her the next 20 mins. Does it mean she didn't enjoy the intercourse or ...
A. 11 September 2013: OP, have a look at this recent post from a woman's point of view. It might help. I'm not saying the sex you had was so awful, but the female poster complains about lack of attention to various areas....
http:... (read in full...)
I don't feel comfortable meeting my boyfriend's family because I'm bisexual
Q. I have always known I was bisexual since my early teens, and I have had two relationship with women. My parent's and I fell out due to this, so I haven't spoken to them in five year's. I'm currently seeing a really nice guy who I'm falling ...
A. 10 September 2013: You're understandably so sensitive to homophobia because of your experiences with your parents. That's so sad that you have lost your relationship with them. Have you, or them, tried to rebuild bridges at all?
Your parents reaction to your sex... (read in full...)
Does he really care for her if me and him have something that good?
Q. I know what i did was wrong but if someone can try and answer my question without the lecture I would be so grateful! I started seeing a guy from work and totally fell for him. Despite being in two serious relationships for over 3 years each time,...
A. 8 September 2013: OP, I'm going to give you a lecture because this is ridiculous (it pressed my anger button).
Why did you stay friends with him after he admitted lying to you and cheating on his girlfriend? Where are your boundaries and values? Why do you even... (read in full...)
Does he really care for her if me and him have something that good?
Q. I know what i did was wrong but if someone can try and answer my question without the lecture I would be so grateful! I started seeing a guy from work and totally fell for him. Despite being in two serious relationships for over 3 years each time,...
A. 8 September 2013: I hope this doesn't come across as a lecture. He cheated on his girlfriend and lied to you. He's not that special a guy, believe me. And you know that. It will take a while for your heart to catch up with what your brain knows.
Sounds like he ... (read in full...)
Should I write a letter to my ex for closure?
Q. Hi everyone, so, my ex boyfriend broke up with me two months ago. It was the beginning of the summer, and he probably wanted to spend his time alone/with his friends no strings attached. During these two months I truly tried to get over him, bu...
A. 8 September 2013: It's a good idea to write a letter, get it all out... and then shred it. It can be quite cathartic in itself, and avoids any risk of feeling humiliated if he doesn't reply.
You will get over him in time. Your thoughts about him will become l... (read in full...)
Slept with my best friend's brother -- do I tell her?
Q. Okay I'll tell the story: My best friend of 12yrs invited me 2 stay with her while her parents where on a 'romantic break for 2'they wer cool with it and all. I have also known her older brother 12yrs aswell and I'd say we were friends. Anyway m...
A. 8 September 2013: OP, you're making it sound like it was a one-night stand. Is that the case, or do you want to start a relationship with the brother?
If you want to start a relationship then your friend will have to know at some point. And both sets of parents.... (read in full...)
I feel I made an inappropriate comment on a date and that it might have put the guy off
Q. I went on a date last week with a guy and made an inappropriate comment. I mentioned it being lady's night and the ticket would be less expensive. He said, "you're saved" and I said, "not me, you." He began to laugh but more like a damn haha ...
A. 7 September 2013: I don't think you said anything wrong. It sounds like maybe you two just didn't click, aren't that into each other. That said, a data at a movie theatre doesn't give you much of a chance to actually talk and get to know each other. Did you get the ... (read in full...)
I need my personal space but my fiancé wants to come with me when I go out. How can I get the space I need?
Q. I live in the city with my fiancé, in a cramped apartment with other people. There's not much personal space. Sometimes I just want space to myself. If I go out my fiancé usually wants to come too. What to do? I'm a bit of an introvert and the ...
A. 7 September 2013: I am an introvert, too. Thankfully I live in my own flat after years of living in staff accomodation and then a shared house. Can you afford to rent a small studio flat to get out of the crowded apartment? I take it your fiancee doesn't also live in ... (read in full...)
I'm dating my half brother's half brother. Are we related? Is this wrong?
Q. I am dating my half brothers half brother.my half brother and I have the same mother but different fathers but now him and my boyfriend have the same father... is it wrong? are we related? please help. however, my mom will never accept it!...
A. 7 September 2013: Because the half-brothers are linked by their father, and you have a different father to them, you are not related to the one you're dating.
Did you grow up with the one you're dating?
If yes, that would be odd but not actually wrong a... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was still sleeping with his ex 4 months into our relationship, and we got engaged after 6 months! Did he only propose because it had ended with his ex?
Q. My boyfriend confessed to me that he still had a sexual relationship with his ex when we met, and that it continued until we had been together for 3-4 months. He says he cant remember but that while we were together it only happened twice. I don't ...
A. 6 September 2013: You have excellent advice from all the other aunts and uncles here and I don't think there's much left for me to add but this: "if in doubt, don't". You're confused (quite rightly), which is a signal that you should think long and hard, and ... (read in full...)
Does "trauma bonding" ever go away?
Q. I left an emotional and physically abusive relationship, but still i am experiencing "trauma bonding" I moved to another town so he wouldn't find me, so i never see him Does the trauma bonding ever stop? Please advice on how to cope......
A. 6 September 2013: I'd like to second Aunty Babbit: very well done for breaking away and getting yourself to a safe place.
All pains subside with time, so the pain of the relationship will subside, the scars will fade. But what's important is addressing why you ... (read in full...)
Is this a form of verbal abuse or am I being overeactive?
Q. So, I was discussing with my boyfriend how a woman got rescued from being kidnapped. I then proceeded to make a comment that one always needs to be aware of ones surroundings. My boyfriend turned to me and said "No one would kidnap you." I ...
A. 6 September 2013: When we talk about people being kidnapped, it's usually children. I know your conversation was in the context of a woman being kidnapped, but maybe he was only half-listening to you. Men do that ;)
I think your second reply from anon is astute a... (read in full...)
Has anyone been in therapy and tell me how long it took before they saw any positive results?
Q. Has anyone been in therapy and tell me how long it took before they saw any positive results? I suffer from severe depression. This particular episode (which has lasted nearly 4 years) has been really hard to shift. I have been seeing a therapi...
A. 6 September 2013: When you see your GP (if that's what you choose) you will most likely be referred for CBT. Because that's what the NHS will pay for. Now, CBT comes in 6-week sessions. You can have a maximum of 3x6=18 sessions. That's not a lot. However it might be ... (read in full...)
I want to have children with a man who is experiencing it for the first time too
Q. I recently met a lovely man off a dating site. We chatted for around two months online before we met, and we've been dating for around five months. He's a little older than me, I'm 24 and he's 32 but the age gap doesn't bother either of us....
A. 5 September 2013: Good spot, Sage.
OP, you've known him for 5 months. Add on the 2 months you chatted before you met. Why isn't he divorced yet? Do you know why his marriage broke down?
I know there's nothing wrong with forward planning, but I'm a little wor... (read in full...)
This guy I have spoken to online is already pressuring me to do things
Q. I recently had a conversation with a guy online and he kept asking me for my email address and I told him that we just started chatting. The other guys get mad if you don't have Yahoo messenger or Skype. I'm tired of these guys getting mad at me an...
A. 5 September 2013: OP, just a second. His marriage broke down to infidelity? Was he unfaithful? If yes, burning red flag and step away.
With online dating, I see no need to exchange email addresses prior to meeting. I can understand Skype (make sure they look lik... (read in full...)
Has anyone been in therapy and tell me how long it took before they saw any positive results?
Q. Has anyone been in therapy and tell me how long it took before they saw any positive results? I suffer from severe depression. This particular episode (which has lasted nearly 4 years) has been really hard to shift. I have been seeing a therapi...
A. 5 September 2013: I agree with the anonymous poster (mental health nurse) that you should be able to get some talking therapy through the NHS. Which of course costs you nothing. If your illness is severe enough to have cost you your job, you are certainly ill enough ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend acts like she's black
Q. Before me, my girlfriend had only dated black guys. I'm the first white guy she has ever dated. Around me she acts like her normal self but in public (usually only around black people) she acts like she is black. It gets really annoying. Don't get ...
A. 4 September 2013: I don't know what "acting black" means. Where I live (London), people act pretty much the same regardless of skin tone.
But - I grew up in Scotland with English parents. I was English at home, among my siblings and parents, and Scottish at schoo... (read in full...)
He finds me boring but wont do anything!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 2years and we live together. We will be completely happy and then he will out of the blue comment that he finds my company boring and that its an issue, but if I suggest doing things he doesn't want to. What do I ...
A. 4 September 2013: What a cheeky b*****d! He's chopping you down by calling you boring, lowering your self esteem. I'd say what So_Very_Confused suggests. Stand up to this rude idiot! ... (read in full...)
I don't want to get too serious, too soon.
Q. I'm 30 and in a relationship of around 4 months. We both have busy work schedules so have been seeing each other at weekends and in the week if we can. As we were getting to know each other, this was fine, but now I am starting to feel a bit lonely ...
A. 4 September 2013: Being a heavy drinker and being too busy to date during the week are both red flags for me. If I were you, I'd cut my losses and let him go back to his drinking buddies ... he's hinted that's what he's going to do anyway. X... (read in full...)
Why is he being cruel? Is his ego just bruised?
Q. I was getting along well with this man, and even agreed to go on a date with him. He made it pretty clear he liked me as more than a friend, although nothing had ever happened between us that went beyond talking. The night before our date, a mutu...
A. 4 September 2013: Yes block his number and be careful who you open your front door to. I'd advise you not to aggravate him, just go silent, and if you can't physically avoid him (mutual friends, whatever), be as boring as possible so he loses interest in you. He'll ... (read in full...)
I finished a relationship with a divorcee because he is too tied to his family and I was a secret to his children. Why does he keep in contact with me?
Q. I had a mind blowing intense, although only 4 months in length relationship with a divorced man. I am also divorced. We both have kids from our previous marriages. There was a lot of chemistry and tenderness between us and we were both happy to have ...
A. 4 September 2013: I agree with all that Honeypie says. As to your question in your second from last sentence, my reply is "yes". Stop communicating all together and let yourself move on. You could tell him, in a final text or phone call, to please stop all contact ... (read in full...)
Why is my height so unattractive?
Q. I have been rejected by hundreds of girls offline and thousands of girls online and have lost heart and all sense of my 'physical' self-esteem. It is very difficult to remain confident after that. My track record keeps me from trying now as I have ...
A. 4 September 2013: As with all other questions from men blaming their height on their lack of success with women, I will tell you that it is your attitude that is putting people off. Yes, I accept that some women prefer taller men, but that's *some* and not all.
... (read in full...)
Why is he being cruel? Is his ego just bruised?
Q. I was getting along well with this man, and even agreed to go on a date with him. He made it pretty clear he liked me as more than a friend, although nothing had ever happened between us that went beyond talking. The night before our date, a mutu...
A. 4 September 2013: Oh dear, he sounds like a menace. He turned up your house uninvited? Um, yes, his ego is bruised and he is decidedly weird. You were right not to let him in your home.
How do you know this man? Is it possible to block him out of your life complete... (read in full...)
How do I stay strong when I tell him to get out?
Q. My boyfriend doesn't work, contribute to bills, rent, groceries and he is destructive. How do I stay strong when I tell him to get out? I met him in January of 2012 and he my first impression was not to feel like he was a very nice person. ...
A. 3 September 2013: As other aunts have said, you keep it short and simple. Pack up his stuff, leave it somewhere for him to collect, tell him, and then go straight on to NO CONTACT. Which is 100% commitment to yourself to distance yourself and move on.
Like ... (read in full...)
Why would a married man flirt with an employee if his marriage is secure?
Q. Hello all. I really need some advice so here goes..one of my managers at work constantly plays and jokes around with me unlike with any other employee..for example.. he makes sexual comments..he has given me a tight side hug..he gives me compliments ...
A. 2 September 2013: Well done, OP. You have saved yourself from a lot of grief. ... (read in full...)
Help with boyfriend please. He's been increasingly distant, with no contact for past 5 days.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. He's 35 and I'm 31. We don't live together but see each other a few times a week and will stay over at the other's house on the weekends. Things the last 6 months or so have been so horrible. We basicall...
A. 1 September 2013: OP you told him to move on with his life, and it sounds like that's what he's doing. That was the last communication between you, but he'd warned you before that he was ready to leave.
Yes it's a horrible ending but reading this as an outsider... (read in full...)
Funky odor "downstairs" has me worried!
Q. my vagina really has been having this really funky embarrasing odor latley and I'm not sure why. I've never had sex before. is it infected?? how can I get the smelly odor away. also. I don't wanna tell my parents cuz I'm embarrassed ...
A. 1 September 2013: You should see a doctor. Both thrush and BV are actually aggravated by over cleaning down there with soap/ gel, so after you have a diagnosis and treatment you could start cleaning with an emollient cream to prevent further problems. Don't worry, ... (read in full...)
How much will it cost per month to have a girlfriend? Outings,gas, gifts, clothes? I need to factor the cost into my budget
Q. How much does a girlfriend cost per month? Do not bother replying if you say "priceless" or "too much" as those sayings are far too old and a scapegoat. Women, don't bother replying with bs that you are free, and don't tell me that you always pay ...
A. 1 September 2013: OP, in this day and age most women do not expect a boyfriend to pay for everything. When dating I play it by ear but actually prefer to split bills 50/50 or take it in turns. I guess you have to factor in more frequent nights out than usual (unless ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has cheated on me several times. Is it acceptable for me to have an affair of my own to show her that there are consequences to her behaviour?
Q. My 28yo GF has been with me for 5 years. This is the best relationship either of us have ever had. Its not perfect but we enjoy each other and we are good for each other most of the time. My GF openly says she used to be a huge cheater. Then...
A. 1 September 2013: This is so very dysfunctional, on a million levels. Go your separate ways before marriage and children get involved. ... (read in full...)
My long distance is into role playing and its startin to really get to me!
Q. Before I start, I'm going to say that I know part of my worries come from jealousy and maybe even insecurity, but I really just have to ask others to because I know there's more to it than that. Also, it may be hard to read because I'm venting a ...
A. 30 August 2013: OK, in that case I would advise you not to get any more emotionally invested until you meet face to face. I hope that goes well.
My views on online relationships is that they are fantasy, not real life, and that people engage in fantasy because ... (read in full...)
My long distance is into role playing and its startin to really get to me!
Q. Before I start, I'm going to say that I know part of my worries come from jealousy and maybe even insecurity, but I really just have to ask others to because I know there's more to it than that. Also, it may be hard to read because I'm venting a ...
A. 30 August 2013: Have you ever met this guy in real life?... (read in full...)
We are soulmates but now he's ignoring me.
Q. I've been in a whirlwind relationship that I would consider my soulmate. He is recently divorced, a messy divorce, and has kids. I'm longtime divorced with no children. It was love at first sight for both of us and he asked me to marry him ...
A. 28 August 2013: OK Moody, I read this after your most recent post. You dodged a bullet and Sage has it spot on. He's a creep. He fast forwarded you, future faked you, and he's no good for you. You deserve better. Go and pawn the ring and spend the money on a night ... (read in full...)
Why do men go to men caves unannounced, go no contact, leaving women worrying?
Q. I posted an issue on the site a few days ago. The link is provided. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/we-are-soulmates-but-now-hes-ignoring-me.html If you are unable to access it through the link it is under the archive of August 19th and i...
A. 28 August 2013: Hi OP. It's not just a man thing. I recently did something similar and I'm not a man. After getting to know the ex better and realising I was getting into a toxic relationship, I walked away. I went silent. Not without huge amounts of guilt ... (read in full...)
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