I am waiting for the text that will ruin my weekend ...
Q. Hello. I will probably get the answer to this question either later on today or tomorrow from the source, but I was just curious to find out other people's opinions and whether or not other girls or guys out there have had a similar experience. I...
A. 1 March 2014: You mentioned that you're seeing her tomorrow as well, so if that date still stands then I don't think you have to worry about anything at this stage. Her body language may seem a bit cold, but perhaps she just likes to take it slowly. I hope that's ... (read in full...)
Can I ever really trust her after I found out about her threesome?
Q. 6 months into our relationship my girlfriend went on holiday and I later found out that she had a threesome with two men she met in a nightclub while she was away. After she said it was just a crazy one off I forgave her. But I just can't get ...
A. 27 February 2014: p.s. Loving someone and wanting to be with them isn't always the best thing for you in the long run. It isn't always the healthy option. ... (read in full...)
Can I ever really trust her after I found out about her threesome?
Q. 6 months into our relationship my girlfriend went on holiday and I later found out that she had a threesome with two men she met in a nightclub while she was away. After she said it was just a crazy one off I forgave her. But I just can't get ...
A. 27 February 2014: First off, glad your STD checks were ok.
Your girlfriends excuse, that she didn't know you were exclusive is nonsense and she's trying to make a fool out of you. Unless it was a FWB arrangement, of course you were exclusive at the 6 month mark. Th... (read in full...)
Pregnant and confused! What should I do?
Q. heya, my head is so confussed, i just found out im pregnant! im not in a realtionship and have slept with two boys this month with about 3-4days appart, so have no way in knowing who the father is. this isnt the first time iv been pregnant,...
A. 27 February 2014: Hi,
As others have said, the decision to abort the pregnancy has to be made by you. In the UK, you have access to Brook, which offers all sorts of info and advice. You could call their hotline or go to one of their centres to talk about all the ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to date a separated person?
Q. I'm divorced and met a woman through friends who's married but living separated lives with her husband for financial reasons. Long story short, she invited me out for a date. Is it wrong to date a separated woman who's husband is already out there ...
A. 27 February 2014: Assuming the only reason she's not divorced is financial then I think you have to ask yourself whether you want to get seriously involved with someone who's not financially independent. If things get serious between you, will you be able or willing ... (read in full...)
His home smells. Am I being petty. How can I solve this problem ?
Q. I am in an LDR and every other weekend I see my bf. I love him very much but I hate his house. I know it sounds very shallow but it is a very very old house. The bathroom has mould growing in it and green bathtub...toilet etc. The whole house ...
A. 27 February 2014: The green bathroom suite is unforunate but not really a serious problem. Lack of cleanliness and mould are problems. He can clean the bathroom, he can ask his landlord to give it a lick of paint or do it himself (you can get anti-mould paint for ... (read in full...)
I am overreacting or is he purposefully putting me down?
Q. I am older than my husband. He is from a different country and keeps calling me old woman. This has been going on for a while now and I find it very irritatating and annoying and when someone persists in keep saying and doing something that you ...
A. 27 February 2014: I'd be interested to know what else he does to put you down, but actually the name calling is enough. Often used by one partner to try to put the other partner down, lower their self esteem and therefore gain more power in the relationship. It's not ... (read in full...)
Does anyone have any idea how I can feel less fragile in the mornings?
Q. Does anyone have any idea how I can feel less fragile in the mornings? It sounds daft at my age - mid forties - but having brought up a child alone and got up early each morning to sort her out and go to work, I am only now realising that I am NOT ...
A. 26 February 2014: Ok I was going to write a huge essay, but YouWish has put things vey succinctly.
I'm also a night owl, I changed my shifts to work around this. I get around this but like you I only "wake up" late morning/ midday. Before then, I'm like a robot. ... (read in full...)
Should I tell the employer that I can only start the week after I finish the course?
Q. Should I finish this training course to get a job, or should I get a job when the course is finished?. I am on a training course that the jobcentre have put me on at the moment. I started last week, and finish on the 14th March. However, I have been ...
A. 25 February 2014: Take one step at a time and don't get overly anxious. Go to the interview, and if/ when they offer you the job, that's the time to negotiate about the start date. Not during the interview.
I doubt they'll offer you a job on the spot, so you'll have... (read in full...)
Tell me what I already know but don't wanna believe
Q. Hello! Heres the situation; I've been dating a guy for about a month, 'talking' for about two. In those two months we have been Facebook friends on and off, I have deleted him 3 times now, the first time was because a lady was putting comment ...
A. 25 February 2014: OP, I just think you need to re-read your post and imagine it was someone else writing it. What would you tell them? What if your younger sister or friend told you this story? You DO already know what to do. Good luck.
... (read in full...)
I would love for us to make a step forward in living together but he is not prepared to talk about any future plans!
Q. Hi , would love an answer to a complexed dilemma . My boyfriend lives in London . I live in Scotland , we have been seeing each other for three years . I would love to see a step forward towards us living together . I was told by my boyfrien...
A. 25 February 2014: "He is not prepared to talk about any future plans" just about says it all.
At first I thought, well yes, if he moves from London to Scotland, he'll have to take a cut in salary. And yes, if his parents are elderly and he's the only child, h... (read in full...)
I want to be exclusive, he's not so sure
Q. I met this guy online, we've been talking for about two months. We've had a few discussions about us being together, but of course we both feel it's best to be friends first before we date. Though, I have mentioned being exclusive. We've gotten into ...
A. 25 February 2014: Dating when you're used to being in relationships is hard, in part because of this issue of exclusivity.
When I was online dating, and it got to the point of intimacy, I would assume that meant he was only interested in me and not dating anyo... (read in full...)
Broken up for 1.5 years yet still cry almost every day
Q. Has anyone else ever thought about something an ex did even though you've been broken up for a year and a half? The thing he did was two years ago. I don't want to say what it was. I cry nearly every day. My parents think I'm mentally ill as I ...
A. 25 February 2014: OP, I advise going to your GP, describing your low mood etc and specifically asking to referred for cognitive behavioural therapy. It's provided by the NHS so it won't cost you anything. It will help you deal with all of this, and help you develop ... (read in full...)
Hurt me once, shame on you. Hurt me twice, shame on me?
Q. I dated and fell in love with a guy in the summer/ fall of 2012, but who ultimately went back to his ex (a prior very long term relationship) and was living with her. We reconnected some months thereafter where we talked about how much we still ...
A. 24 February 2014: I think you'll end up more upset. I suspect that if you ask him why he's has a change of heart, and if he's honest, you'll discover that the reason he's reappeared is because he's now single. Or about to be. And I doubt that he's fully in control of ... (read in full...)
I am being shut out by his language!
Q. Hi! I need advice on a relationship with language differences. When I met my boyfriend he didnt know any English, but he insisted on being with me. He worked hard to learn English and did well. Now his daughter came to live with us full time and he ...
A. 24 February 2014: OP, I'm also rubbish at learning new languages. I keep meaning to learn Spanish so I can communicate with my niece, who's learning disabled and growing up in a Spanish speaking country, but I just don't seem to be able to get past the basics. My ... (read in full...)
Broken up for 1.5 years yet still cry almost every day
Q. Has anyone else ever thought about something an ex did even though you've been broken up for a year and a half? The thing he did was two years ago. I don't want to say what it was. I cry nearly every day. My parents think I'm mentally ill as I ...
A. 24 February 2014: Somewhere in amongst the cobwebs of my mind, I remember your earlier posts (or at least very similar ones).
1. I'm not surprised you were upset about his porn use, his initial lies, the extent of his library and the effects it had on him (ED and ... (read in full...)
How do I get an aggresive suitor to back off a little without chasing him completely away
Q. This year, I told myself and God that I am going to get married. I don't have a boyfriend yet but just dating. I went to Dublin to see my ex December and even though the long distance is still an issue we are still very hopeful. Then when I came bac...
A. 24 February 2014: Yes, tell the African man that he is moving too fast for your comfort, and let him know that you're dating and getting to know other people. That way he can decide for himself whether or not to spend money visiting you, and you won't feel like a ... (read in full...)
Does he want me or not? Why stalk me but not speak to me?
Q. i had a relationship with a man that was at the point of engagement. while there were some communication issues to be worked out, he left the relationship before sorting anything. now that we are apart, he does not want to be together and won't ...
A. 24 February 2014: It is really odd, and it's obsessional. If you're genuinely not scared - and you're the one here who know him - maybe don't involve the police at this stage but definitely take steps so he can't keep tabs on you online. Do you have a mutual friend ... (read in full...)
Does he want me or not? Why stalk me but not speak to me?
Q. i had a relationship with a man that was at the point of engagement. while there were some communication issues to be worked out, he left the relationship before sorting anything. now that we are apart, he does not want to be together and won't ...
A. 23 February 2014: Well OP, I have a very low tolerance threshold where harassment is concerned (been there) and if you're uncomfortable then contact the police ASAP and nip this in the bud. Giving a statement to the police is far less uncomfortable than you might ... (read in full...)
LDR boyfriend talked terribly to me and now I think he's broken up with me
Q. Hello I am a 36 year old female in a long distance relationship with a 48 year olf man. I love him very much but, in the pass he has been very verbally abusive, calling me bitches and saying fuck you! I forgave him when he asked for forgiveness and ...
A. 23 February 2014: Forget him. The first time he called you a bitch or told you to fuck off should've been the last, as in no more opportunities.
You deserve better than an abusive idiot, and I think you should ask yourself why you've put up with any of this.
Yo... (read in full...)
Is it normal for females to ban their partners from watching porn?
Q. Is it normal for females to ban thier partners from watching porn? My girlfriend of one year does not like it if I watch porn. I was not too bothered because she is very attractive to me and sex is really good long sessions, leaving us both hap...
A. 22 February 2014: I can only speak for myself. If a partners porn watching spilled over into everyday life such that he felt it was run of the mill to except his partner to participate in anal sex, facials, threesomes and all the other things porn actresses *appear* ... (read in full...)
Should I bake and take him a cake?
Q. I am overcoming a long, co-dependent relationship. I have looked into my childhood with help of a counsellor and I understand why I was co-dependent. In order to change and move on I've had to not only look at co-dependency in my past ...
A. 21 February 2014: It's great that you got away from the co-dependant relationship and took the initiative to learn about yourself through counselling. As you know, you are still learning and it's good that you're asking for advice. I don't mean to sound patronising, ... (read in full...)
How do I get an aggresive suitor to back off a little without chasing him completely away
Q. This year, I told myself and God that I am going to get married. I don't have a boyfriend yet but just dating. I went to Dublin to see my ex December and even though the long distance is still an issue we are still very hopeful. Then when I came bac...
A. 21 February 2014: I don't think "I will get married this year" is a good New Years resolution at all. It puts you under pressure to marry someone who may be totally unsuitable without getting the chance to really know him beforehand.
Mr Dublin doesn't sound su... (read in full...)
Do I love him? Does he love me?
Q. So me and my step cousin are really close. We clicked the moment my mum got married to his uncle. We'd always stuck together in everything, and at school, (he goes to the same school as me,) we always partner up for projects. We also hang around ...
A. 20 February 2014: So you watched a film together and stayed over and your parents didn't notice because they were asleep the whole time? They didn't notice you weren't there at bed time or in the morning? OP, I truly feel sorry if that's the situation because your ... (read in full...)
Do I love him? Does he love me?
Q. So me and my step cousin are really close. We clicked the moment my mum got married to his uncle. We'd always stuck together in everything, and at school, (he goes to the same school as me,) we always partner up for projects. We also hang around ...
A. 20 February 2014: OP, I hope you love him in the same way I love my cousins, i.e. in the same way I love my brothers. I hope that's the way he loves you.
It's not illegal to date or even marry a cousin, especially a step cousin, but it's tricky.
Most importan... (read in full...)
Should I contact my ex? It's 6 months since I finished the relationship, and this would have been our 6 year anniversary.
Q. Hi aunts, I'm feeling a little low. I was in a relationship for 5 and a half years. We were childhood sweethearts and got to together at the age of 17. I loved him to pieces but the relationship fizzled out after around the 4th year. We stayed ...
A. 20 February 2014: Don't do anything at all just now because I'm fairly sure these ambivalent feelings are a reaction to the anniversary, compounded by Christmas and Valentines day. So please don't do anything on impulse.
I would generally suggest, though, to leave... (read in full...)
Any good stories about threesomes?
Q. Anybody have threesome (MFF in my case) SUCCESS stories? You read about how most relationships fall apart after a threesome but surely this is because it was an attempt to save an already dying marriage? Obviously there would be some that couldn...
A. 19 February 2014: Well this is something I've had no experience with and no desire to do in real life (fantasy is different), but what I do have experience of is a male partner pushing for this when I've clearly stated "no". Hugely off putting.
So, I'd just like... (read in full...)
Does asking for pictures make him a bad guy?
Q. I can't believe it has come to this again. Last week a met this guy through Uni and instantly started messaging me on Facebook once he tracked me down. And has not stopped since. He was shaping into such a nice guy, even invited me out for ...
A. 19 February 2014: I'd class it as an amber flag rather than red, because of the preceding sexy text messaging. He might equally be wondering about you and what kind or woman you are (sorry but it's true, let's not have double standards) given the mutual sexual/ ... (read in full...)
Mixed signals from girlfriend's best friend.
Q. I am getting confused by a girl I have feelings for. I told her a while ago I really liked her and asked her how she felt she just said I'm a no go area. She likes talking to me but says not about that and we should forget about that, but looks at...
A. 19 February 2014: Maybe your girlfriend has asked her best friend to test the waters with you to see if you'd stray.
Even if not, I'm surprised the best friend hasn't said anything to your girlfriend.
Your girlfriend deserves better than someone who chas... (read in full...)
Partner says he wants to be with me forever but has "itches that need scratching" with other women.
Q. I've been with my partner for 5 years. We met at uni. It's a long distance relationship but we are planning in moving in together this year. We are both each other's first sexual partners. I was in a long term relationship before but never had in...
A. 19 February 2014: You have your boundaries and, please, stick to them. He is disrespecting you by trying to push your boundaries again and again, then manipulating you by saying he resents you.
It is sad that your boyfriend claims to have met the woman he wants to... (read in full...)
How can we get past my inability to orgasm?
Q. I lost my virginity a little over a year ago to my boyfriend, and since then we've had sex at least 100 times. I love and enjoy being intimate with him in that way, however... I've never been able to achieve orgasm. I never worried too much...
A. 19 February 2014: It is not odd that you can't achieve orgasm through penetration (as you know) but I do think it's odd that you can't manage on your own, with toys etc. Are you on any medications that might be affecting you? For example, many antidepressants (esp ... (read in full...)
How to save a relationship from being destroyed by depression?
Q. My boyfriend and I have officially been together two months today. I know that may not seem like a very long time, but things became serious very quickly. We met in September and it was love at first sight the moment we walked into class (he is a ...
A. 18 February 2014: I agree with K_C, I don't think this guy is clinically depressed. I think he's in a crisis because, after the dressing down he got from his ex, he knows he's behaved badly, and he possibly regrets letting things with you progress so unbelievably ... (read in full...)
How can he love me and want to share me?
Q. I have met a man who seems wonderful in every way. We have an incredible connection on so many levels yet I have a question. He has said to me that if I feel the desire to have sex with another man in his presence he is ok with that. Even turned on ...
A. 18 February 2014: Why would you feel the desire to have sex with another man in front of him? I think he has a cuckold fetish. This would be a huge turn off for me, no different than being encouraged to have a threesome. It's not something you want to do, so if he ... (read in full...)
My friends want to move abroad without their young-adult children
Q. Am interested what you think of this situation. Some friends of min are bith 52, and have 2 kids: girl of 18 and boy of 20. The parents want to emigrate from england to spain on a permanent basis. The kids dont want to go with them. But the p...
A. 18 February 2014: Spain isn't so far away from the UK. Actually it takes me about 7.5 hours to get to my parents house from where I live (all of us in UK) and it would be quicker and no less expensive to visit them in Spain. And a darn better climate! But then that ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is acting sneaky with his laptop and phone!
Q. I live with my boyfriend of 5 years and have always trusted him but have been noticing recently that he acts sneaky with his phone and laptop. If I come into the room he will swipe everything off his page so that I can't see he also always makes ...
A. 17 February 2014: Sorry but yes it's weird and no you're not being paranoid. Don't snoop, ask him who she is and make sure you've got eye contact with him when he answers (no lowering eyes). It might be innocent but I just doubt it .... sorry. ... (read in full...)
He lied, and his real age has freaked me out!
Q. Making this short because I just recently found out. I don't know how to tell any of my friends about this either but I've been dating this guy I work with for about 2 months and all this time I thought he was 25 because that's what he told me. He ...
A. 17 February 2014: This is a bit tricky because if he's aged 37-38, then presumably he's your senior at work? A manager or something? And why's he enrolling in college/Uni at his age, when he's already a successful man with 4 properties? I mean, it's not against the ... (read in full...)
Husband belittles me in front of friends and family. I want to leave him, but is there any way I can correct the situation?
Q. I became very resentfull toward my husband. The main reason is that he complains to people about me. He doesn't complain to everyone but certain people. Like this couple that we don't see very much often, may be every couple months. Usually ...
A. 17 February 2014: The only thing I can suggest is couples counselling.
Good Luck. ... (read in full...)
No communication from my BF for 9 days. He's ignoring my texts. What is going on and what should I do?
Q. Ive not spoken to my bf since 8th Feb, he works away. I held down and tried not to txt or ring but I asked him to ring Friday and never did. I texted on Sat, nothing, and rang yesterday and still nothing. I'm not sure what to do, I cant stop thin...
A. 17 February 2014: Have you checked that he's Ok? Does he have history of disappearing for days on end?
Firstly I'd check he's OK. Stop the texting: phone him, from a number other than your own, or hide your caller ID.
If he picks up and sounds fine, then unfortun... (read in full...)
Am I missing out on something here? She has a strange pattern to her behaviour!
Q. hello I'm dating a girl for three months now and I feel a strange pattern now in her behaviour ! After every two weeks or so, she'll start ignoring in a sense that she'll take extra time to reply than usual and she'll seem less excited to see ...
A. 17 February 2014: I do agree with the anon poster who mentions dating rules. There is some crazy advice out there, designed to keep men keen when all it does is cause confusion. Either that or she's a flake.
Talk to her, ask her why she does this, tell her how it m... (read in full...)
He's older, divorced, and giving me mixed messages about our arrangement!
Q. I'm seeing a guy who constantly gives me mixed messages, he's older, divorced and has two kids, we've been seeing each other just under three months. It started off with the intention of being a FWB arrangement, but that quickly changed, long story ...
A. 16 February 2014: In no particular order:
1. He triggers significant negative emotions for you
2. He doesn't deliver on the sex side of things
3. He treats you like his therapist
4. His actions don't match his words
5. You have taken on the role of caregiver... (read in full...)
My LDR complains that I have a mixed personality
Q. It's a long distance relationship. I met this guy online and I've fallen in love with him. He use to text me everyday but for two weeks now, the texting has stopped. When he called this week he complained that I have a mixed personality and if I ...
A. 15 February 2014: Hello, Thanks for clarifying.
Well, as I said, he can't really comment on your personality since he's never met you so don't take any negative comments to heart.
I'd be wary about investing too much emotion in someone you've never met because ... (read in full...)
My LDR complains that I have a mixed personality
Q. It's a long distance relationship. I met this guy online and I've fallen in love with him. He use to text me everyday but for two weeks now, the texting has stopped. When he called this week he complained that I have a mixed personality and if I ...
A. 15 February 2014: I started to answer but realised what I was writing was all based on the assumption that you haven't actually met this guy yet in real life. But I may be completely wrong.
Please could you tell us whether you've met him face to face, how ofte... (read in full...)
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