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We had an argument because he wanted sex and I wanted to sleep. Should I call him?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 November 2013) 10 Answers - (Newest, 20 November 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

i had a fall out with my new boyfriend the other day, he basically said to me, i don't understand how can you girls know a guy has a hard on and not do anything about it!...

he was saying that because i slept at his and we had sex the night before, and he wanted to have sex in the morning again! but i wanted to sleep for a little bit longer, mainly because i could not catch a wink of sleep whiles he slept happily and snored all night!...

then he was all upset and acting silly, so i said time to go, got dressed and went home, i have not spoken to him sense...

i don't know whether to call him and say i am sorry, but i don't feel i need nothing wrong.

what do you think, what should i do?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2013):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thank you everyone, i feel rather silly for even contemplate calling him!

i think i will just move on.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2013):

You did the right thing. And no do not apologize. He is the one who needs to apologize. He was being totally selfish and putting his desire for pleasure above your basic need for sleep.

He is also showing his true colors. He sees women as objects to pleasure men. He has a hard on? So what. Why is it your problem. He has a hand. He can take care of it himself.

His comment about "you girls" is another red flag. Apparently you aren't the first woman he has treated this way.

Re evaluate if you should even be seeing this guy.

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A female reader, Daisy_Daisy United Kingdom +, writes (17 November 2013):

Daisy_Daisy agony auntWell OP, I don't blame you for leaving. It's a new relationship, he should've been offering you tea and toast in bed (or letting you sleep), not making ridiculous remarks about sex and starting arguments with you.

I'm glad you haven't phoned him and posted here. Really glad. This guy, honestly, I'm pissed off on your behalf. If he gets in touch, I hope you let him know that his comment and subsequent behaviour were a huge turn off.

At least you know what he's like nice and early - easier to put it all behind you and move on.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (17 November 2013):

YouWish agony auntWow, his comment about "you girls" really pissed me off, and it should piss you off as well. What a little asshat he is, as if your sole purpose in a relationship is to service him whenever he wants to!?

He needs to be the one grovelling to you, and I mean GROVELLING, because what he said to you is nothing short of sexist and horrific.

He snored all night, you both had sex, and now he treated you like a $5 prostitute. I know what *I'd* want to do if some day said that to me about what to do with his morning wood, I'd kick him in the nuts. There, that'll take care of it.

Kick that little shit to the curb. He doesn't care about you, and you'll not sleep around him.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2013):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

oh Chigirl@ i had no even though of that, you just open a whole new perspective in all of this. i wish that hard occurred to me in the moment, but i was no thinking is i was trying to sleep.

Yes i left because i honestly didn't feel like 8 am on a Saturday was the right moment to talk about something so silly. my pretence was to tell him that he clearly wanted to be left alone, and that is why he started such a nonsensical argument and when i ignored it he started to storm in and out!

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (17 November 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI don't think you did anything wrong and I don't think you owe him an apology.

I am with Chigirl on this whole "you girls" thing as well...

and just because a man has a hard on does not mean a woman must service him... jeez he's a tool.

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A female reader, Daisy_Daisy United Kingdom +, writes (17 November 2013):

Daisy_Daisy agony auntI don't think you should apologise, and I agree with Maureen's observations. As Fatherly says, you two don't seem compatible. He sounds like a knob to be honest.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (17 November 2013):

chigirl agony auntYeah, this guy doesn't sound like a keeper. Don't apologize, he started an argument and having a hard on doesn't entitle him to sex. Frankly I'm more offended he grouped you into "you girls" rather than address you in person. How many girls exactly does he have over who refuse to have sex with him and his hard on for him to generalize? Apparently not only you...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2013):

It's great to read that someone walked away from a situation like that! No, don't ring him he is the douche who should apologise.

I would call and say exactly what another poster said, that he hasn't respected you and its over. X

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (17 November 2013):

Fatherly Advice agony auntHe snores, his requests for sex are silly, your response to an argument is to walk out.

What should you do? Try someone else, you two are not compatible.

FA

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