Could I fall in love with someone who is always abroad?
Q. I have recently started doing online dating. I was just quite tired of trying to meet nice guys in clubs because it doesn't seem to be happening for me. A lot of guys were just plain sleazy and boring on the website, but I have started talking ...
A. 1 May 2013: Yes you are being ridiculous. I agree with the others that this guy is a complete fake. There are so many red flags, and you're writing them down but not actually seeing/ recognising them.
You say you feel a strong connection with him and are ... (read in full...)
I kept waiting for him to leave his g/f but he never really did so I ended things. Did I do the right thing?
Q. I'm confused that I already made a mistake as he asked me to wait for him to breakup with girlfriend of 6 years he told me they are in verge of breaking up but I didnt do it. I just stoped waiting and said goodbye a month ago. I've waited for him to ...
A. 29 April 2013: Yes you did the right thing. You were his fallback girl, unfortunately. Continue with the no contact. If he really loves you, he will move hell and high water to be with you, but he isn't doing - sorry if that sounds harsh but better for you to see ... (read in full...)
If you think someone is mentally unstable, can you call a doctor?
Q. I don't know if anyone will know the answer to this but here goes. .. If you think someone you know is mentally unstable, can you call a doctor? Everyone I know thinks that my ex is out of touch with reality because he thinks we are together and ...
A. 29 April 2013: You could speak to his GP or write him/ her a letter, but the GP can only offer whatever help your ex is willing to take. If you phone his GP, be aware that s/he won't be able to discuss your ex with you, but they will be able to listen to you. Why ... (read in full...)
Where is my marriage ending? Unhappily ever after?
Q. I'm unhappily married to a man more than twice my age approaching his 70s. While we dated, I knew he was not the right person for me. I however admired his maturity and intelligence. I was at downnest point with no money, career and basically messed ...
A. 26 April 2013: You met him when you were at your lowest with no money, no career, no job and now you're in that same place but with a young child. I know you say you were desperate, but obviously he was not the solution.
You need to stand on your own two feet... (read in full...)
What does he mean he 'doesn't want drama'?
Q. Hi , so there is this guy at my work that I like so much but he is m y boss. I knoe he likes me too because of the way he act. But he never tells me that he likes me so last night I told him I like him very much and all he said was he is much ...
A. 26 April 2013: I agree with CindyCares but could also mean that he doesn't want the drama (complications) of starting a romance with a co-worker. It could get awkward, especially since he's your boss. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants me to experiment with a woman?
Q. I've been in a relationship for seven months and it's been great for the most part. He recently told me that he thinks every woman should have a sexual experience with another woman, especially if they're in college like myself. He doesn't want to ...
A. 25 April 2013: Your boyfriend really has some nerve. You've told him it compromises your morals, but somehow he thinks he can trump your morals by "feeling hurt"? Excuse me?
How do you think you'd feel after being coerced into having sex with a woman, when it ... (read in full...)
Why did my ex girlfriend do this?
Q. I'm very disturbed by an action my ex girlfriend did. Why I don't like her in any way is because, when she dumped me, she lied to me, and wanted to be friends. This is why I don't like, nor do I trust her. However, this action isn't what d...
A. 22 April 2013: So you can take control by either blocking her or removing her as a friend. Don't put too much thought in to it, just do it. And carry on with your life as before the 'unblock'. ... (read in full...)
I want this to be more than just "One Night Stand". What should I do guys to make this work?
Q. Dear All So here it goes, I have a colleague at my work place that I truly am attracted to him and wouldn't mind being in a relationship with him. He lately been flirting with me sexually, his been touching my waist when he has the ...
A. 21 April 2013: If you can't resist temptation, then make plans so you don't end up in that situation. Arrange for a friend to pick you up from work, for example, so you aren't in a tricky situation.
If he likes you enough, he can ask you out on a date, surely? ... (read in full...)
My controlling Aunt wants us to change the date of our wedding. How can I deal with her reaction?
Q. Recent events have upset me and dare say ruined my wedding ...Please read... My aunt (my dad’s sister) has always been a bit controlling. I remember when I was a child she'd always have tantrums and cause arguments if things didn't go her wa...
A. 21 April 2013: I think your Aunt is being unreasonable and immature. She must be disappointed, but she's not reacting normally. Her postings on Facebook are passive aggressive swipes and you must try to rise above it. She's only making herself look stupid on FB, ... (read in full...)
Girls: Do you say no sex to your boyfriend often?
Q. Hi Just like to know if this is normal behaviour for men or in relationships. Last night in bed with my boyfriend I wasn't feeling too well (have a bad headcold) and told him I didn't want to have sex with him, to just cuddle and sleep. He kep...
A. 15 April 2013: Why are you feeling guilty? You didn't want to have sex, for good reason, and you stood your ground. In that situation I would have told him to quit it after 5 minutes and gone to sleep on the couch, to asked him to sleep on the couch.
If yo... (read in full...)
Was it wrong for this person to slip their friend a sleeping pill, passing it off as herbal medication?
Q. Hi Everyone, I was recently hanging out with an old acquaintance and we were chatting about dates we'd had with other people. This guy then proceeds to tell me that he and a friend were hanging out at his house and he wanted to go to sleep and hav...
A. 15 April 2013: I agree it's serious. Tranquillisers are strong drugs that have to be prescribed by a doctor. The person who was drugged could've had a serious negative reaction. Your acquaintance is a fool.
Since this came up in the context of talking about da... (read in full...)
I pushed my ex away with constant messaging. Now he's done a disappearing act. Will I ever hear from him again?
Q. My bf has done the disappearing act on me. He dumped me about two weeks ago but then wanted me back. He dumped me cause he's unsure what he wants. However he didn't contact me for for a few days and I asked " are we still together?".. He replie...
A. 8 April 2013: Sorry you got that response. It doesn't mean he didn't ever love you. Don't think that. The dumper always moves on quicker than the one being dumped, I know it hurts.
Moving on takes time and patience. You will get over it, but start off with sto... (read in full...)
I pushed my ex away with constant messaging. Now he's done a disappearing act. Will I ever hear from him again?
Q. My bf has done the disappearing act on me. He dumped me about two weeks ago but then wanted me back. He dumped me cause he's unsure what he wants. However he didn't contact me for for a few days and I asked " are we still together?".. He replie...
A. 7 April 2013: I know that you would like to hear from him but he has stated it clearly in his actions. He's just too cowardly to tell you directly. Maybe he feels he said it all when he dumped you.
Don't question him further - you'll end up regretting it; look... (read in full...)
I pushed my ex away with constant messaging. Now he's done a disappearing act. Will I ever hear from him again?
Q. My bf has done the disappearing act on me. He dumped me about two weeks ago but then wanted me back. He dumped me cause he's unsure what he wants. However he didn't contact me for for a few days and I asked " are we still together?".. He replie...
A. 7 April 2013: p.s. I don't think you chased him away with texting. It probably didn't help, but don't forget he'd already dumped you. Don't be hard on yourself. X ... (read in full...)
I pushed my ex away with constant messaging. Now he's done a disappearing act. Will I ever hear from him again?
Q. My bf has done the disappearing act on me. He dumped me about two weeks ago but then wanted me back. He dumped me cause he's unsure what he wants. However he didn't contact me for for a few days and I asked " are we still together?".. He replie...
A. 7 April 2013: It's OK that you said you hate not knowing where you stand in your last text. That's honest and fair - he should have told you clearly where you stand (that the relationship is actually over).
Give it a while with no contact - when your feelings... (read in full...)
Did my g/f starve herself to lose weight that quickly?
Q. Is this even realistic, obviously my girlfriend did this but i'm struggling to believe she didn't take dangerous risks and damage her health. Only 10 days ago was she a bit bigger, then today I saw her and she had clearly lost weight! Signific...
A. 7 April 2013: Drinking only juice is starving yourself, especially when she's working out twice a day. She's using up far more calories than she's consuming. That leads to weight loss. Juice isn't enough calories, nor is it a healthy balanced diet.
Have ... (read in full...)
I pushed my ex away with constant messaging. Now he's done a disappearing act. Will I ever hear from him again?
Q. My bf has done the disappearing act on me. He dumped me about two weeks ago but then wanted me back. He dumped me cause he's unsure what he wants. However he didn't contact me for for a few days and I asked " are we still together?".. He replie...
A. 7 April 2013: Unfortunately I think he has already dumped you, or is 90% there. Texting him like you are doing is just going to reinforce any negative feelings he has for you. Rather than letting him miss you, you're bugging him.
Delete his number so you can'... (read in full...)
HOW do I stop being so foolish with and about this man who treated me so appallingly?
Q. So. This isn't really a big deal, but it is something I find really frustrating. I have a bit of a complicated situation with a guy I was with about a year ago. I met him in my home country, we had a fling for a couple of weeks, and then he went...
A. 5 April 2013: Look back at what you've written: "it was awful .. He was very jealous and possessive ... Would treat me appallingly". Read again how you felt when you were with him. Why would you want to be even friends with him, let alone more?
You say you ... (read in full...)
My long distance boyfriend is asking me to send him pictures of my private bits. Why does he need them?
Q. Hello. I am a female in a long distance relationship. My boyfriend lives in another country. We still haven't med in person..but have communicated by email, telephone, text message and video and video messaging that he's sent me. This has been going ...
A. 4 April 2013: This all sounds very dodgy. I wonder which country he's from. It's generalising of course but there are guys in countries like Turkey who will woo and flatter women from the UK for less than romantic reasons. I hope I'm wrong.
About the photos: ... (read in full...)
What is vanilla sex?
Q. Hi What does people consider "vanilla sex"? How does mostly practise it and do you find it unattractive or not excited?...
A. 31 March 2013: Vanilla sex is sex without any kinkiness at all. It makes me think of the missionary position only, though others would have different ideas maybe.
Some people may love it and it's all they will do/ want/ have, others may find it unexciti... (read in full...)
When should I tell my therapist of my feelings?
Q. I have been to my college's counseling services for about 2 and 1/2 years now, and have developed a strong attachment to my therapist. It took a long time for me to trust her, but now I know that she truly cares and won't judge me. Part of the ...
A. 31 March 2013: Hi
You've been seeing this therapist for 2.5 years, you've built up a good relationship with her. With your background of an emotionally distant mother, it's no wonder you've developed an attachment to the therapist. It's normal in the circumst... (read in full...)
What could my fwb want to 'discuss'?
Q. Friends with 'some' benefits situation: here goes: Nov 2012: approached him, started to hang out with him, told him I liked him, he told me he liked me too. Started to send flirty text messages daily. Saw him 2wice a week. Very sexually attract...
A. 30 March 2013: I remember reading your first post and thinking "oh no, she's going to get hurt", because you really like this guy and he's just not offering you what you want.
You can't coerce someone into something they don't want. Maybe coerce isn't the righ... (read in full...)
She text me and told her not to text her again, but should I text her back?
Q. Hello i,m a 52 yr old man, haven,t had much experience with women, find it difficult to read the sign,s/ signals, i have been on 2 dates with a 51 yr old woman, but 6 days ago she txt me and said, that she finds me childish, and have i got mental ...
A. 25 March 2013: I agree with all the other aunts, don't text her. There is no point if she's made up her mind. If tempted, delete her number.
You can only be yourself and hope the other person is being themselves, and if it doesn't work then it wasn't meant to... (read in full...)
Bleeding after sex an she is no virgin and neither is her periods due?
Q. My girlfriend and I had sex for the first time last night. It was my first time ever, not so much hers. After maybe 10 minutes, I pulled out cuz I felt myself slipping, and I wanted to change positions. When I pulled out, the condom brushed a...
A. 25 March 2013: If she says she is due her period in another month, does this mean she only just finished her last period? Because sometimes, right at the end of a period, there is still a little blood there and usually it takes a few days to eventually all come ... (read in full...)
He keeps saying he'll come see me, but it hasn't happened. He only works 2 days a week, couldn't he find time?
Q. So, I've been talking to this guy for 3 months now via text/couple of phone calls. We met during Christmas break, in person and started talking in a friendly/flirty way, by the end of January/beginning of February, things got a little bit more ...
A. 24 March 2013: I'm glad you have set a time limit. After that, don't "try" to move on; be resolute that that is what you will do. Yes, try to keep it light between now and then, but I think you'll find that hard. And you won't be fully available to new guys while ... (read in full...)
He keeps saying he'll come see me, but it hasn't happened. He only works 2 days a week, couldn't he find time?
Q. So, I've been talking to this guy for 3 months now via text/couple of phone calls. We met during Christmas break, in person and started talking in a friendly/flirty way, by the end of January/beginning of February, things got a little bit more ...
A. 22 March 2013: It sounds like he's more comfortable having a fantasy relationship than a real life one - I know you've met in real life, but since then it's been virtual.
You are being quite passive about all this. If you said to him, "I am free this weekend ... (read in full...)
Should I text him? Or not?
Q. I met this guy online, he lives about 1.5 hours away by ferry. We texted pretty much everyday quite a bit for just over a month. He made a few comments about coming up for a weekend. This scared me because what if we did not hit it off and I was ...
A. 22 March 2013: If you like him and want to see him again then yes of course text (or better still phone him). No harm done, and otherwise you may never know what could have been! Good luck.... (read in full...)
How do you know if a guy likes you, or if he just wants sex?
Q. Hi to anyone who can help me figure this out. Male agony "uncles", your views are wanted the most. What I wonder is, when do you know if a guy actually likes you, or if he's just after sex? I have this kinda complecated "thing" with a friend of...
A. 21 March 2013: Don't feel pathetic about having real feelings for him. It's normal to develop feelings and attachments with someone after sleeping with them, particularly for women (I am generalising).
If he liked you for more than sex, he would make sure tha... (read in full...)
What is it about a short man that women find so disgusting?
Q. I have been rejected by a few girls and have lost heart. My track record keeps me from trying as I have no reason to believe I will succeed. I have been aware that women do not find short men attractive and recently i have been following "expos...
A. 19 March 2013: There is nothing disgusting about a shorter man. I've has relationships with men the same height as me (5'6"). It's no problem, it's not a turn off at all. It is all about your attitude to yourself, and unfortunately if you have zero self confidence ... (read in full...)
What does she mean by, "her feelings are just futile to me"?
Q. 2 months ago I broke up with this girl, it's a complicated story of why we broke up and what happened. It didn't end well to say the least, but that's because of bad consideration on my part. Well, last night my friend saw her out and spoke to...
A. 3 March 2013: She means that she still has feelings for you but there is no point in her having these feelings for you because they won't have any bearing on your feelings or the chances of you getting back together.
She is implying that you already know she... (read in full...)
My crazy ex claimed she was pregnant the day after we broke up!
Q. Hello, I feel like I'm falling apart and desperately need some help and advice from others to help me piece everything together in my own head. So about 2 months ago I was introduced to a girl through a mutual friend who thought we might be good...
A. 3 March 2013: Two mistakes: having unprotected sex without knowing you could trust her, and then effectively breaking up by computer.
For peace of mind you need to communicate with her. You must know where she lives, go over there with a new pregnancy test and... (read in full...)
Acne is getting me down..does anyone have any advice?
Q. Hi. I'm an 18 year old girl who has suffered with quite severe acne since I was 11. I have dry skin, scars on my cheeks from previous acne and the majority of my acne is on my cheeks, chin and jawline. I know that wearing make-up doesn't help ata...
A. 2 March 2013: Dear OP
You could go back to your GP and explain that the creams aren't working. During my teens, from about age 14/15, and early twenties I took oral antibiotics and even an oral contraceptive pill (Dianette) to help with my acne. It calmed i... (read in full...)
Didn't think he was the cheating type but I've caught him in lies and strange women answering his voice in the early am!
Q. I feel like im going insane. I do. I come from a conservative family and always thought I would be with (in regards to sex) one man. I like about the idea of only knowing one person intimately and vice versa. Me and my current boyfriend wen...
A. 28 February 2013: I agree with other aunts and uncles here, something is not right at all.
He left the phone in the kebab shop. So who was the woman who answered? A woman who works in the kebab shop? Did he get the phone back and from whom? Ask these question... (read in full...)
Boyfriend will not acknowledge me on facebook
Q. I have been with a man for 1 year ..we get together every other weekend as my 10 yr son goes to his fathers house. I have travelled with this man and still I find it troubling he wont ackowledge my relationship status on facebook, I am getting upset ...
A. 28 February 2013: Dear OP,
Your insecurities make more sense now that you mention his cheating. I suppose you think he might find it less able to cheat if his status was "in a relationship with x " on facebook, but unfortunately if he's going to cheat he'll do it r... (read in full...)
Is he inerested? Does he like me? Should I ask him out for our second date?
Q. I went out on a date with a guy, the date went really well. We talked, laughed, he told me I looked nice, and at the end of the date we hugged and he told me we should definitely hangout again. I didn't want him to feel as if he had to be the on...
A. 28 February 2013: Just send one text saying "hope your week's going well, wondered if you fancied going to (x) on Sunday afternoon?". It's not overly keen since he said he'd like to hang out again.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
What goes through a man's mind after a breakup? Can they really feel nothing?
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend, of 2.5 years, a week ago today. I'm struggling to even make it through the day. I'm truly heartbroken. He was the first man I'd ever fallen in love with. He's 34 and I'm 30. The reason I broke it off was because after ...
A. 26 February 2013: Sorry you're going through this. I know the feeling of breaking up with someone you love. It's happened to me twice. I had to meet up with both guys afterwards to exchange things.
The first guy, my first love, was crying as much as me (alm... (read in full...)
Is he sticking around for sex or he genuinely likes me?
Q. Met this guy online. First date was at his house, and yes ended up making out in his bed but no sex. Second time i was drunk and lonely. He texted and ask if i want to go over to "cuddle". again i agreed, and i ended up at his house. No sex as ...
A. 25 February 2013: You got too drunk and forgot to message him? Come on now, you've already cancelled two dates with him and now this?
You certainly don't come across as being "too keen", you come across as not quite knowing what you want and being (sorry) a bit fl... (read in full...)
The guy that I've been dating for 3 years has done the disappearing act!
Q. So the guy that I've been dating for 3 years.. has done the disappearing act.. No contact or communication whatsoever..lately.. There was no arguments nothing of that nature.. I feel like he's either one of two things.. Has a fear of taking our ...
A. 24 February 2013: When you tried contacting him, what happened? As in, did the phone ring? Did he hang up? Do you know he's got the messages you've left?
I'd be concerned enough to contact his family/ friends. A three week absence during a 3 year relation... (read in full...)
Boyfriend will not acknowledge me on facebook
Q. I have been with a man for 1 year ..we get together every other weekend as my 10 yr son goes to his fathers house. I have travelled with this man and still I find it troubling he wont ackowledge my relationship status on facebook, I am getting upset ...
A. 24 February 2013: Some people (me included) are quite private when it comes to Facebook. I've never done one of those "relationship update" things and don't think I ever will. I know married couples who don't state their relationships on Facebook. It doesn't mean ... (read in full...)
Is it illegal to date second cousins?
Q. My boyfriend is my second cousin 3 we love each other so much but people judge us and our family doesnt know yet... is it illegal to date him in australia?!? help me plz he is my true love xxxx...
A. 24 February 2013: Hello,
No it's not illegal to date your second cousin. I doubt it's illegal even to marry him, though I'm not sure.
But remember that you're too young to have sex - having sex with anyone while under the legal age of consent is illegal. So y... (read in full...)
A big thank you to you all for your advice!
Q. I want to start off by saying THANK YOU, THANK YOU, AND THANK YOU again. All of your encouraging words and helpful advice has gotten me a long way. I do know I have a long long path still to recovery getting over a 19 year marriage. I fell to my ...
A. 23 February 2013: Thanks for the feedback! And good luck for your future :)... (read in full...)
Is he sticking around for sex or he genuinely likes me?
Q. Met this guy online. First date was at his house, and yes ended up making out in his bed but no sex. Second time i was drunk and lonely. He texted and ask if i want to go over to "cuddle". again i agreed, and i ended up at his house. No sex as ...
A. 20 January 2013: The first several dates shouldn't be at his house or at yours, if you're looking for more than sex. You didn't have to agree to go to his house either time.
Why did you cancel the next two dates? He agreed to meet in public for a proper date. I'... (read in full...)
Why did my ex girlfriend do this?
Q. I'm very disturbed by an action my ex girlfriend did. Why I don't like her in any way is because, when she dumped me, she lied to me, and wanted to be friends. This is why I don't like, nor do I trust her. However, this action isn't what d...
A. 27 November 2012: OP, I'll explain what I meant by telling you a bit about me.
I had a relationship with a guy who had an unusual medical problem. I had never heard of it before I met him. I got to know him, got to know about his condition and was interest... (read in full...)
Why did my ex girlfriend do this?
Q. I'm very disturbed by an action my ex girlfriend did. Why I don't like her in any way is because, when she dumped me, she lied to me, and wanted to be friends. This is why I don't like, nor do I trust her. However, this action isn't what d...
A. 26 November 2012: No, I don't think you should report the pin for fraudulent use because she probably didn't do it in a way to be hurtful or disrespectful, or even to 'sugarcoat' you. Since you don't have an account, she probably didn't think you'd even be aware of ... (read in full...)
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