Girls, how long do you want your guys to last in bed?
Q. How long do you want your guys to last in bed, girls? How long have your guys lasted? What's the record? Tell us about it. How long is too long and how short is too short during sex??? ...
A. 2 August 2013: SageOldGuy made me chuckle.
It's not really about how long sex lasts (though to be honest, it's a big let down if it's 1-2 minutes, and very uncomfortable after half an hour or so).
It's about the build up, and mutual satisfaction. By... (read in full...)
Is there a "polite" way to find and pursue casual sex?
Q. I'm not sure what this community thinks of "casual sex", but let me start by clarifying about myself. I'm a 28 year old guy, never had sex, never had a girlfriend, never gotten anywhere with a woman. What I always REALLY want(ed) was to find a ...
A. 2 August 2013: I wouldn't give up on the idea of having a relationship and I'm curious as to why you think that'll never happen. You're hardly ancient, after all, and you come across as clever and thoughtful - those are 2 good qualities that women look for.
... (read in full...)
I met a guy on Facebook, I really liked him and told him I missed him. He hasn't spoken to me for several days now. Will he contact me again?
Q. I met a guy on Facebook two weeks ago. I sent him friend request and he accepted me. after that he messaged me saying he wanted to say hi and saying I am beautiful. after wards we kept chatting and he gave me his number and he says I can call him ...
A. 2 August 2013: I agree with the other answers. I'd like to add that am a bit concerned that you seem to have posted this question two (or three?) times now. I am a bit concerned that you are getting obsessed or caught up in a fantasy about this guy. He's just a ... (read in full...)
Could he still be in love with his ex g/f?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend on, off for almost a year. I have a problem with his ex who he is very best friends with. I looked at messages on his phone and he tries to horny chat with her, he even told her he was just with me to pass the time, ...
A. 2 August 2013: Um yes you do have something(s) to worry about I'm afraid, and you've written them all down in your post.
These are the red flags that YOU wrote:
1) you have been "on and off" - don't know what the reasons for this are but I'd be concerned ab... (read in full...)
He's gone distant and I'm unsure what to do. He seemed like such a good guy!
Q. Ok ,I'm totally confused here .I will try and cut a long story short .I net a guy online ,we totally hit it off and I didn't jump into bed with him straight away .I'm very impulsive so it was hard for me .we had a great time and he's always asking ...
A. 2 August 2013: OP, same here re gravitating towards troubled men. You can't fix them.
You don't need someone with financial woes, mental health issues and who is inconsistent. You just don't.
Good luck and put yourself first x ... (read in full...)
He's gone distant and I'm unsure what to do. He seemed like such a good guy!
Q. Ok ,I'm totally confused here .I will try and cut a long story short .I net a guy online ,we totally hit it off and I didn't jump into bed with him straight away .I'm very impulsive so it was hard for me .we had a great time and he's always asking ...
A. 2 August 2013: OP, same here re gravitating towards troubled men. You can't fix them.
You don't need someone with financial woes, mental health issues and who is inconsistent. You just don't.
Good luck and put yourself first x ... (read in full...)
I've tried to move on with other girls but I still love my ex!
Q. To make a long story short, I cant seem to clear my head about my ex when we broke up 2 years ago, Shes gorgeous and so attractive but its been my biggest mistake of my life, My problem is that i keep trying to make her my girlfriend again, She ...
A. 1 August 2013: JustLooney, your attentions are unwanted. At this stage (2 years), you really should have got the message. This is beyond normal. You are torturing yourself, and on the verge of harassing this woman (that's probably why she's always looking for her ... (read in full...)
I would take my ex back if he'd give me an apology!
Q. I broke up with him about 5 weeks ago. After about 2 weeks of no contact he started talking to me last week. It was so nice, like when we first met. We spoke twice and sent a few txts. A few times he suggested we should catch up and asked when I'd ...
A. 1 August 2013: He could apologise but I wouldn't mean he'd be a changed man. People don't change their personalities in a matter of weeks or months. Unless he's been on an anger management course, and apologised, I'd stop flogging this dead horse. I think you ... (read in full...)
My ex was rotten to me so why do I only remember the good times?
Q. So it's been three months since my ex dumped me. He's quick-tempered and abusive and never respected me while we're with his friends. We had no contact after we broke up. But every month he would call or write me messages and asked me to call him ...
A. 1 August 2013: It is hard to move on; harder for some than for others.
No contact is the best way to move forward, but it's not a straight road and it's not made any easier if he keeps breaking it. So don't beat yourself up about taking a while to move on.
... (read in full...)
What did her text mean? Was it good? Or not so good?
Q. Hello I,m a 52 year old man , and I,ve just been on a first date with a woman. we had lunch, and at the end of the date, I said can I text or call you and she said yes, but a few hours later, before I texted her to thank her ...
A. 1 August 2013: p.s. don't leave it a few days to reply to her - or it'll seem YOU'RE not interested. Maybe think of something she said she liked doing (particular food/ restaurant/ activity) and suggest it for the weekend?... (read in full...)
I don't know if I could ever trust again and build the relationship up, which seems like double standards based on my past behavior.
Q. I'm not quite sure where to start with all of this, so here goes; I've been in a relationship with my partner for 13 years now, and I love her very much, we have three young kids together. About four years ago I discovered that my partner had t...
A. 31 July 2013:
Stop thinking about yourself for a moment. Ok I know you're hurt, but just stop and think about what the future will be like for the 5 of you ... the 3 innocent children being the priority.
You talk about a stable family unit for the children... (read in full...)
What did her text mean? Was it good? Or not so good?
Q. Hello I,m a 52 year old man , and I,ve just been on a first date with a woman. we had lunch, and at the end of the date, I said can I text or call you and she said yes, but a few hours later, before I texted her to thank her ...
A. 31 July 2013: I don't interpret that text as her being disinterested. I mean, why would she put "xx" at the end of the text if she wasn't interested?
It's worth texting her and saying something like "it was lovely to meet you too, would you like to meet up ... (read in full...)
He's gone distant and I'm unsure what to do. He seemed like such a good guy!
Q. Ok ,I'm totally confused here .I will try and cut a long story short .I net a guy online ,we totally hit it off and I didn't jump into bed with him straight away .I'm very impulsive so it was hard for me .we had a great time and he's always asking ...
A. 30 July 2013: Ok I make no apologies for keeping on posting links to this Baggage Reclaim website because I think it's amazing and possibly relevant to you, so please read these posts:
http:... (read in full...)
I have strong feelings for my friend but am sexually restricted by my culture. What do her actions mean? What should I do?
Q. I am an Arab man (but also a Christian). The rules and traditions in my country told men to treat women except their wives as sisters (with no sexual feelings) and told women not to wear sexy clothes. Of course man and woman can do whatever...
A. 30 July 2013: Do you love her or just lust after her? Do you love her seriously enough to want to marry her, or are you just in serious lust with her boobs?
If you love her, broach the issue of marriage again.
Her behaviour seems to be that she's tryin... (read in full...)
I've met a new guy who I like and I led him to believe I was divorced. I'm actually married and my husband is threatening to take my children away from me if I try to divorce him.
Q. I met a guy recently that I am really into and he feels the same about me. This guy is long-distance and is divorced and has been for 9 years. When he asked me "are you married" I answered that I was for five years...kind of giving him the ...
A. 30 July 2013: OP, I re-read your post after reading the reply from Iamheretohelpyou. I hadn't read your post properly. You are still with your husband, not even separated. I agree with Iamheretohelpyou that you need to end your marriage fully (at the very least ... (read in full...)
After a night of passion he told me he isn't looking for a relationship but wants to continue meeting up for sex. I was embarrassed and hurt so I liead and said I wanted the same thing but I don't.
Q. I had a night of passion with a regular in the bar where i work. He is very nice and i really liked him. Then i met him again twice more. Im so embarassed because he said to me this morning that he hopes i dont expect anyting from him as he doesnt ...
A. 30 July 2013: It's actually simple (though easier said than done). When he asks for the next hook up, you tell him "I thought about it and realised that I'm actually not into casual sex. I would like to find the right guy and have a relationship". (Not that you ... (read in full...)
I've met a new guy who I like and I led him to believe I was divorced. I'm actually married and my husband is threatening to take my children away from me if I try to divorce him.
Q. I met a guy recently that I am really into and he feels the same about me. This guy is long-distance and is divorced and has been for 9 years. When he asked me "are you married" I answered that I was for five years...kind of giving him the ...
A. 29 July 2013: Tell him exactly what you've told us and ASAP.
I recently dated a guy who sold himself as 'single'. As the situation unfolded I learnt that he is in fact separated, not divorced, not even on the road to divorce (no lawyers etc). It was a big shoc... (read in full...)
I met a guy on Facebook, we spoke and he seemed really interested, now he seems to have gone cold
Q. I met a guy in Facebook two weeks ago. I sent him a friend request and he accepted me. he sent me a message after he accepted my request." Hello I just want to say hi you are beautiful" and I responded to him saying hi and we kept chatting. after we ...
A. 29 July 2013: Be careful not to get caught up in a fantasy. You 'met' him 2 weeks ago, haven't actually met him in real life, and you already say you want to be loved and loved by him. You are getting carried away with a fantasy about who this man is, and ... (read in full...)
My ex left me over a year ago and I'm no closer to moving on. Even though I've met others there is no space in my heart for them. How can I find peace again?
Q. I need help in moving on, but I can’t get to the next stage. I was in a relationship with another guy for 7 years. It was fantastic or at least I thought so. We rarely argued and I thought it would last forever. Then unexpectedly he said he needed a ...
A. 29 July 2013: Lostguy, I do wish you luck and strength. You can do it.
When you feel wobbly, which you will, return to DearCupid for support (and Baggage Reclaim - the community there has really supported me through rough times, and there are loads of old post... (read in full...)
I'm confused and don't understand the behavior of my ex
Q. What is wrong with my ex ?.I'm confused. He is the one who contacts me first most of the time ( I hardly contact him, but he contacts me every few weeks to see how I am doing ). He contacted me on Wednesday last week, and asked me if I wanted to go ...
A. 28 July 2013: The question is not what is wrong with your ex (though I can tell you: he contacts you for an ego stroke) but why you haven't cut ties with him?
Next times he checks in to "see how you are doing", do not reply. It is none of his business.
He's... (read in full...)
My ex left me over a year ago and I'm no closer to moving on. Even though I've met others there is no space in my heart for them. How can I find peace again?
Q. I need help in moving on, but I can’t get to the next stage. I was in a relationship with another guy for 7 years. It was fantastic or at least I thought so. We rarely argued and I thought it would last forever. Then unexpectedly he said he needed a ...
A. 28 July 2013: p.s, genuine no contact is very difficult but the only way to go forwards. It might mean you changing your number or getting a phone that allows you to block his number. And then delete his number (though I expect you know it off by heart). Take no ... (read in full...)
My ex left me over a year ago and I'm no closer to moving on. Even though I've met others there is no space in my heart for them. How can I find peace again?
Q. I need help in moving on, but I can’t get to the next stage. I was in a relationship with another guy for 7 years. It was fantastic or at least I thought so. We rarely argued and I thought it would last forever. Then unexpectedly he said he needed a ...
A. 28 July 2013: I'm really sorry for what you're going through.
You are going to find it very tough but you MUST break all contact. Texting is contact.
Can I suggest you read this: http://www.bagga... (read in full...)
Should I tell him off for giving my friend herpes?
Q. My friend had sex with this guy she hardly knew (we're on holiday) and firstly he stole her headphones and totally avoided her, but now she has got ulcers on her tonsils and it looks like herpes. Plus she has all the other symptoms like muscle ...
A. 10 July 2013: Don't do anything until the diagnosis is confirmed; she might just have tonsillitis.
But actually I agree with Eyeswideopen and Tisha and not get too involved, whether it's herpes or something else. ... (read in full...)
Did I do the right thing here? Should I stay in this relationship?
Q. Hi aunt and uncles :) It's been a while since I have had to post as I have been really happy up until now. I have been with my boyfriend for 1 and a half years and we were really happy. He lost his job in November and was sent to prison. I st...
A. 24 June 2013: Dear OP
It's a cliche but why not take some time off men, be single for a bit while you regain your confidence? Then you'll attract a good, nice man - not a man who has spotted a vulnerable girl who will accept all manner of crap ...
Therap... (read in full...)
Did I do the right thing here? Should I stay in this relationship?
Q. Hi aunt and uncles :) It's been a while since I have had to post as I have been really happy up until now. I have been with my boyfriend for 1 and a half years and we were really happy. He lost his job in November and was sent to prison. I st...
A. 23 June 2013: Please don't doubt yourself - you've made the right choice. You deserve to be treated so, so much better than this and you know it deep down. You have low self esteem at the moment (no surprise - he's putting you down all the time, controlling you, ... (read in full...)
Will I measure up OK for upcoming one-night stand?
Q. Hi, my mates girlfriend is coming to visit him in a week (she lives in another city) and we are going clubbing when she comes, she is bringing her mate with her to set her up with me (just for a one night stand), now I'm just a bit anxious as I ...
A. 23 June 2013: Hello
You don't have a small penis. It's average. You are more likely to disappoint her if you forget about/ rush through foreplay ...
And yes, be safe and wear a condom. ... (read in full...)
How do I get this guy back to his warm usual self?
Q. Hi, need help understanding the male psychology a bit please. There is a guy I met at the pub (35), he was going through divorce and my case is the same. We connected, in his words he was very intrigued by my story and he found me very attractive. ...
A. 3 June 2013: The best way to redeem yourself - for your benefit, not for his - is to stop contacting him or expecting anything from him. That way you don't risk disappointment when you get little or no response from him, you won't lose any dignity, you get to ... (read in full...)
I think he's got a girlfriend after seeing a photo of them on the internet. Do I ask him?
Q. Hi to all people here n dear cupid..I met this guy his 30 he really seems nice and gentle we been texting 2 weeks b4 we go out for a dinner he's cool guy .. we still texting now and planning for a 2nd date.but I found out tht when I search his name ...
A. 31 May 2013: I think you've caught him out and now you should just leave it. He is a liar. Why waste your time going on a second date? There are better things you could be doing with your time ...
I feel sorry for his girlfriend, but I think you should stay out ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to feel this confused after a break up you were sure you wanted?
Q. Hello everyone, I have just come out of a relationship which lasted over a year and a half. The relationship began quickly. We were effectively in a relationship together after just a few dates. We had a lot in common, it seemed. We shared simila...
A. 30 May 2013: Oh and just to add - my first love asked to get back with me very shortly after breaking up with me because he said he couldn't have made the right decision if he felt so bad afterwards (I suppose the same way you are feeling bad right now). And so ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to feel this confused after a break up you were sure you wanted?
Q. Hello everyone, I have just come out of a relationship which lasted over a year and a half. The relationship began quickly. We were effectively in a relationship together after just a few dates. We had a lot in common, it seemed. We shared simila...
A. 30 May 2013: Andy, read your last sentence again and apply it to your ex girlfriend. She will get though it.
I also remember the immense pain of my first love leaving me - wow, it was a hard time! But I had people to look after me, and so does she. She migh... (read in full...)
Is it normal to feel this confused after a break up you were sure you wanted?
Q. Hello everyone, I have just come out of a relationship which lasted over a year and a half. The relationship began quickly. We were effectively in a relationship together after just a few dates. We had a lot in common, it seemed. We shared simila...
A. 30 May 2013: Andy, it's great that she has a good support network around her, and now you have to trust them to look after her. It might sound brutal (though not meant that way) but she is no longer your responsibility. It's touching that you still care so much ... (read in full...)
Should I have phone sex when I don't think we'll ever meet?
Q. I met a guy online who appears to like me, but only wants to have phone sex with me and although we live in different states, I don't think we'll ever meet. What are the chances of our ever getting together?...
A. 28 May 2013: If you're never going to meet - or even if you are - I don't think it's a good idea. It's fine in the context of an already established relationship when you're apart. Other than that I think it's a bit sleazy, unless it's something you positively ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to feel this confused after a break up you were sure you wanted?
Q. Hello everyone, I have just come out of a relationship which lasted over a year and a half. The relationship began quickly. We were effectively in a relationship together after just a few dates. We had a lot in common, it seemed. We shared simila...
A. 27 May 2013: I have to disagree with anon. If you broke up with this girl then she is quite likely hurt and she doesn't need you giving any false hope of a reunion if you're not sure.
I think you have to leave her be, let time pass and see how you feel in a fe... (read in full...)
Herpes. How do I tell my volatire partner? Should I avoid a big fight and not tell, or take a risk??? please help!!
Q. Hello everyone, Im a 28 yr old female. I just took standard blood work because im in the health field and a routine gyn pap, every thing came out normal. I got a letter about about my bloodwork. I called the office and found out I have Herp...
A. 27 May 2013: Hi OP. The chicken pox related skin condition is shingles. It's a related but different virus called varicella zoster. I really don't think you having chicken pox or shingles would result in a positive HSV2 test. Hopefully when you go back, it'll ... (read in full...)
Herpes. How do I tell my volatire partner? Should I avoid a big fight and not tell, or take a risk??? please help!!
Q. Hello everyone, Im a 28 yr old female. I just took standard blood work because im in the health field and a routine gyn pap, every thing came out normal. I got a letter about about my bloodwork. I called the office and found out I have Herp...
A. 27 May 2013: Can you ask whether the blood test differentiated between HSV1 and HSV2? HSV1 is more commonly associated with cold sores, and HSV2 with genital herpes.
If the blood test just detected herpes without narrowing down which type, well 75% of the a... (read in full...)
Does sleeping in separate beds always lead to the end of a relationship?
Q. does sleeping in separate beds always lead to the end of a relationship? i ask because my fiance and i live together and i find it hard to sleep next to him due to his snoring. i've had important professional exams today, so for the last week, he's ...
A. 24 May 2013: It is not uncommon at all for the partner of someone with a sleep problem, including snoriing, to sleep in separate rooms. It doesn't make you selfish. A good night sleep sets us up for the day. A bad night sleep and sleep deprivation can ruin it. ... (read in full...)
Ex BF says he won't consider a reconciliation if I go on a holiday with my friend! What should I do?
Q. I have been split up with my ex for 3 weeks now. We were living together and he said he wanted a break. We have argued constantly over the 2 years it seems he wants me of a weekday then of a weekend he just wants his mates. I can admit I have bee...
A. 23 May 2013: "Do I not go and carry on with my unhappy life?" - go on the holiday! While on holiday, take a little time to think about this two year relationship and whether it's what you really want. Think of the pros and cons of getting back with this guy. ... (read in full...)
Online dating. I'm interested. What should I say in my message?
Q. I asked for advice on using dating sites a few days ago. Now I have a more specific question. There's a guy I'm interested in someone on OKCupid. Should I message him? Why or why not? And if so, what should I say? I'm a bit shy and embarassed about ...
A. 6 May 2013: Don't be shy or embarrassed! He's not going to think it's strange to get a message from you. Someone has to take the initiative and say hello first.
Just say "hi, I like what you've written in your profile. I notice you also like [blah blah]. I... (read in full...)
I always catch married man looking at me. I don't encourage him and don't want involvement. What do I do?
Q. I work in an office and there's this man. Let's call him... Joe. So Joe is very high up the chain - senior level and about 10 years older. I still think I'm imagining this because I'm a skinny muslim girl who looks about 19. I don't know wh...
A. 4 May 2013: If you think he's looking then you're probably right. I don't think there's much you can do, though unless he starts openly leering at you or he says something inappropriate. At that point you could talk to your line manager, but unfortunately they ... (read in full...)
Sexy pictures? I don't want to send completely naked pictures. So what to do? Any ideas?
Q. Hey everyone. I need help i want to send my bf some sexy pictures of me. Problem is i don't know how to take these kind of pictures. Im a chubby girl with small breasts. I don't want to send completely naked pictures. So any ideas? I would like guy...
A. 3 May 2013: What ever you send him, make sure you'd be comfortable with your boyfriend sharing it with the world (see ugotposted.com for some examples of people having their intimate photos shared - be warned, it's graphic).
Sorry to be the cynic but be c... (read in full...)
Could I fall in love with someone who is always abroad?
Q. I have recently started doing online dating. I was just quite tired of trying to meet nice guys in clubs because it doesn't seem to be happening for me. A lot of guys were just plain sleazy and boring on the website, but I have started talking ...
A. 1 May 2013: Yes you are being ridiculous. I agree with the others that this guy is a complete fake. There are so many red flags, and you're writing them down but not actually seeing/ recognising them.
You say you feel a strong connection with him and are ... (read in full...)
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