A
male
age
51-59,
*k guy
writes:Hello i,m a 52 yr old man, haven,t had much experience with women, find it difficult to read the sign,s/ signals, i have been on 2 dates with a 51 yr old woman, but 6 days ago she txt me and said, that she finds me childish, and have i got mental health problems, also she said i had a small tear in my jeans, which i was not aware of, i said sorry about that, also sorry about being childish, i was just being nice and caring, and wanted to make her laugh,which she did, i said a few times, do you want me to be serious or funny, she said be yourself. so i was, she said it,s not the kind of behaviour she would expect from A MAN , but after the first date she said i was a lovley person, and next time, maybe i would be less nervous, as on the first date i was nervous. i bought her chocolates on the first date and sketch pad and pens on the 2nd date , as she said she liked art, during texting over the 2 weeks and between the dates, when arranging to meet, she said she was still in bed, and she was getting ready for a shower, was saying bed and shower, a sign that i should take things quicker and start being more personal, and closer, as i am also a bit shy. on the 2nd date i held her hand, but after 5 mins she put it in her pocket, then i linked her arm for about 10 mins, then when we parted to go, i gave her a kiss on the lips and rubbed her back, but she backed off a bit quick, and said , bye luv , but later that night i texted her, 2 thank her for a nice day , she said Hi sorry i fell asleep, and thanked me for a nice day. she said i was not plain. SO because i was acting childish, should i of said shall we go back to your, place or mine, i, not sure how quick or slow 2 take things. We both wanted a relationship .But she said she wants A MAN, i was just being nice and caring. After i tried 2 explain things on texting, she listened, and said Take care bye. Don,t txt again . So should i txt her back ? i,ts been about 5 days since the last txt,s. Many Thanks
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male
reader, ok guy +, writes (25 March 2013):
ok guy is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you for your replies
A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (25 March 2013):
 I agree with all the other aunts, don't text her. There is no point if she's made up her mind. If tempted, delete her number.
You can only be yourself and hope the other person is being themselves, and if it doesn't work then it wasn't meant to be. I know it's hard when you're nervous, but hopefully you'll get less nervous as you get used to going on dates.
Chocolates on a first date is lovely, by the way, but there's no need for a gift on each date. It's sweet but I can see how a gift of sketch pad and pens could be seen as childish (even though it was also thoughtful).
I wouldn't interpret the wanting a man thing to mean she wanted you to take her home that night, so don't worry about that. I don't think you read that wrong.
Don't be put off dating. Hopefully the more dates you go on, the less shy and nervous you'll be and you'll get better at reading the signs and signals.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2013): She said don't text back - so don't. It was clear that she felt you were not right for each other. You sound sweet and caring and I'm sure you will find someone who appreciates your style. She sounds as if she is looking for a different sort of man. That's not right or wrong it's just the way it is.
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (25 March 2013):
No doesn't mean yes, fyi.
Find a woman that appreciates your childishness and inexperience. Don't be afraid to ask a woman out; the worst you'll hear is "no".
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A
female
reader, cute angel  +, writes (25 March 2013):
 OP,This woman is not beating around the bush,she being honest and tell you 'don't text' so I think there is no requirement of reading any signs or signals,because what she's saying is not a sign its a clear statement 'she doesn't want you to text'..its not rocket science OP you know what she wants!so don't text her!As for the future may be when your dating older women I doubt they would want to be with someone childish because they tend not to take such men seriously,they are looking for a caring and loving gentleman not a man who reminds them of 8 year old kid!its good to be funny and humorous,its good to make a girl laugh with your sense of humor,but she should be laughing 'with you' not 'at you'..good luck OP the next woman you date,suit up be a charmer,be polite,be a gentleman,be humorous and keep the conversation going and FYI after a date you don't need to overwhelm the girl with texts keep it nice and simple:)
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (25 March 2013):
 No means no Buddy. This relationship was just not meant to be, let it go. Keep looking and happy hunting, I'm sure you will find her.
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A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (25 March 2013):
 No don't text her, she is not the woman for you. I would set my sights at finding a lady more suitable for you, one who is caring and loving and who wants a relationship but wants to take things slowly, This lady told you not to text her so abide by her wished, leave her alone and set your sights on someone more suited to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2013): No you should probably let her go. You two sound like a couple of teenagers, honestly. We cant teally help since we dont know a whole lot about you, what us your experience with women?
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