Is he sticking around for sex or he genuinely likes me?
Q. Met this guy online. First date was at his house, and yes ended up making out in his bed but no sex. Second time i was drunk and lonely. He texted and ask if i want to go over to "cuddle". again i agreed, and i ended up at his house. No sex as ...
A. 25 February 2013: You got too drunk and forgot to message him? Come on now, you've already cancelled two dates with him and now this?
You certainly don't come across as being "too keen", you come across as not quite knowing what you want and being (sorry) a bit fl... (read in full...)
My BF and I had a fight a week ago and he hasn't called me since. What should I do?
Q. Dear Cupid My bf and myself had a fight, to be precise he fought with me saying that I'm bugging him when I asked him to spend some time with me also along with his friends. He hasn't called me for a week, what should I do now. I am scared tha...
A. 3 February 2013: Dear OP
15 minutes a day isn't unreasonable. No communication sounds like a wide idea.
Sorry it hasn't worked out with this guy. ... (read in full...)
My BF and I had a fight a week ago and he hasn't called me since. What should I do?
Q. Dear Cupid My bf and myself had a fight, to be precise he fought with me saying that I'm bugging him when I asked him to spend some time with me also along with his friends. He hasn't called me for a week, what should I do now. I am scared tha...
A. 2 February 2013: If he doesn't want to spend much time with you, creates an argument about it and then doesn't call for a week he doesn't sound like he's in to the relationship at all.
But I don't know your relationship. Perhaps you expect to spend an unreason... (read in full...)
When to proceed and when to abandon.. (dating)?
Q. Sometimes you go on a date...and there is an initial exchange of messages after, saying 'blah blah, that was fun' ...then a second date isn't scheduled. I'm thinking there are either two reasons a) both parties aren't bothered b) both parties are...
A. 27 January 2013: Thinking about this again (I'm on a boring train journey), I think that it's usually pretty apparent at the end of the date whether or not there will be a second date. If a guy he is keen, he'll ask. I don't ask routinely because I'm pretty shy ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend drunk said "you are too good to me" What did he mean?
Q. I went drinking with my boyfriend (of nearly 2 months) and his friends. He got drunk and I had to take care of him and get him home safe and tuck him in bed. Before he passed out he said "You are too good to me. You know what that means?" I said ...
A. 27 January 2013: I don't know, are you too good to him, or even too good for him? Have there been clues when he's sober? Do you often find yourself looking after him?
I'd usually suggest you talk to him and ask what he meant, but it sounds like he was too pissed t... (read in full...)
When to proceed and when to abandon.. (dating)?
Q. Sometimes you go on a date...and there is an initial exchange of messages after, saying 'blah blah, that was fun' ...then a second date isn't scheduled. I'm thinking there are either two reasons a) both parties aren't bothered b) both parties are...
A. 27 January 2013: You can just say something casual like "fancy going to see that movie we talked about" or something similar. You're not declaring undying love, but expressing an interest.
I agree, it can be difficult to know whether or not to make the first mo... (read in full...)
Does anyone else have to pay board to their parents?
Q. Hi, just a quick question! I am 20 years old, and have just moved back home. My parents have asked me to contribute $100 a week, for rent/bills/food. I work full-time, making about $600 (aus) a week. I also have my phone bill to pay, as well as ...
A. 27 January 2013: Sounds like they can't afford to subsidise your food, water, electricity, etc. so yes, you should expect to pay board.
How does the price compare to if you rented a room in a house/ apartment in your area?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is another woman's 'back up guy' in case they're not married by 40! How would you feel about this?
Q. Dear All, How would you act if your boyfriend told you he was another girls back up guy and if there both still 40 they would get married as his rich and reliable? I feel this is disrespectful and it"s upset me but he can't see why? Opinions p...
A. 26 January 2013: Well it depends on whether or not he was serious or making a light hearted comment on something he's jokingly discussed with his friend.
The fall back thing with the other woman is most unlikely to happen and I think that, even if they are both... (read in full...)
New boyfriend, new problems.
Q. A couple of months after I was dumped by my ex, I began a relationship with Mr New. He's tall and handsome, but the thing that I was attracted to first was how we could talk to one another. This relationship started about a year ago... beginning of ...
A. 26 January 2013: Mr New is the following:
- secretive
- controlling
- aggressive
- jealous
He treats you badly and makes you unhappy.
To me, as an outsider, he sounds awful. I think you actually *could* cope with breaking up, and it might be a huge ... (read in full...)
Was my boyfriend's gesture and behaviour strange in this situation?
Q. Recently my boyfriend (who makes an excellent living) brought me a bouquet of flowers. They were the grocery store variety and the price tag that he left on the cellophane said $7. He came to my front door with said flowers still in the plastic ...
A. 26 January 2013: I can't say if you're being ridiculous or not because it depends on the context of the relationship, how long you've known him, whether he's generally a bit clueless etc, or you feel that he's down right rude in general.
If you think he's clu... (read in full...)
I experimented with my male friend, but decided to go back to females. Why is he so upset?
Q. I’m a young man and I’ve trouble with a friend. I’m very outgoing person, I like to try new things and everything new. My friend is gay and although I’m straight, I thought that I’m living only once and decided I want to try something with another ...
A. 25 January 2013: I'm sure he's not expecting a proposal and children ... just a modicum of respect.
You can't blame him for getting attached to you. It's what happens after intimacy (for some more than others, as in this case).
A "moment of fun" (your words... (read in full...)
Unplanned pregnancy. I'm from a strict family and don't know what to do ....
Q. Hi everyone I'm here to get advice and not to be judged Yes me and my boyfriend are both adults and been together for 4 years. We are both working however we both live in different towns. We had sex however I took the morning after pill but I...
A. 24 January 2013: Best of luck, OP x ... (read in full...)
I'm almost sure b/f cheated but he's saying I did and gave him a STD!
Q. So I'll try to make this short, I have been dating this guy for about a year and a half and we have had a tough time, there hasn't been any cheating as far as I know, except the one time about six months ago I caught him exchanging naked pics with ...
A. 24 January 2013: Sorry to read this.
You don't need to do a lie detector test with him. You already know you haven't cheated and it's not you that gave him an STD.
I know you want to prove a point with him, but he's not worth your energy (or money).
I ho... (read in full...)
Me and this guy have been in contact for 5 months but haven't yet met up. We arranged a meet up and he's gone silent. What should I do next?
Q. So I've been talking to this boy for about 5 months by text/phone calls.. we've been asking to meet up and that but it hasn't happened yet.. So yesterday we decided to meet up today and we was not really keen and I texted him this morning asking i...
A. 23 January 2013: Hi,
I can understand the feelings of liking someone before you've met them (especially with 5 months contact), but the feelings are mostly fantasy. You can't really know who someone is until you meet them face to face. After you meet someone ... (read in full...)
Did I mean nothing to him the whole 7 months we were dating? He broke up with me because of his ex
Q. 5 weeks ago my boyfriend dumped me because he said he still has feelings for his ex girlfriend that he was with for 3.5 years. They broke up about 1 year ago. He was really honest about it, he cried too and said it will be hard for him letting me ...
A. 23 January 2013: I'm sure he does miss you and think of you. But it's not appropriate for him to say any of that to you because he split up with you. For him to tell you these things would be unfair to you because it might give you hope of reconciliation. Mixed ... (read in full...)
Women--how would you feel if your male partner turned you down for sex?
Q. I haven't had any experience with this kind of thing myself but I'm just curious to hear opinions. You sometimes hear from men that their partners are always too tired for sex or are stressed etc. I know that obviously some men are going to get...
A. 23 January 2013: If it happens once in a while, it's not a problem. If it happens almost every time you initiate, it's a big problem (in my experience). I had an ex who had a slightly lower sex drive than me at first, and then a few months later his libido went to ... (read in full...)
I regret my transsexual surgery. What to do?
Q. Hello everyone, Im having some troubles now. I went through a transsexual surgery some time ago and turned from a male into a female. However, recently I start to see some identity crisis in myself. The main objective of the surgery was so t...
A. 23 January 2013: Unfortunately you can't 'do' anything. The work up for the operation you had is extensive. The doctor, surgeon, psychologist and nurses must have told you that the operation is not reversible.
You said the surgery was some time ago and you're y... (read in full...)
Fallen in love with my husband after our arranged marriage, but struggling to say "I love you". Any advise?
Q. I recently got married...it was an arranged marriage..after marriage I fell head over heels in love with my husband....idealising him like anything..a month or so he went to the states while I have to wait for my visa process to finish..long story ...
A. 22 January 2013: My brother had this same problem when he was dating his girlfriend (now wife). He drew her a little picture (nothing fancy, he's not an artist!) and wrote "I love you, (her name)". I know this because she kept the note and framed it! Good luck. ... (read in full...)
Why do some women find aggressive behaviour in men a turn on? I don't get the female mind!
Q. Hey all I have a question on the confusing female mind! I was chatting with a couple of women recently and they both confused the hell out of me. One had slept with some chavy guy who she regretted sleeping with but said she did it because the h...
A. 22 January 2013: The two women you spoke to are definitely not the norm. Especially the second one. What she described is twisted.
A bit of assertiveness and confidence is attractive, but not violence! And a man can be dominant without inflicting pain. Two sepa... (read in full...)
I asked my ex to meet up and she totally ignored me. What does that mean?
Q. Me and my ex girlfriend are back in touch in after 3 months. I asked jer to meet up and she completely ignored the question and changed the subject. What does this mean!?!...
A. 21 January 2013: I means she doesn't want to meet up.
If you're hoping to get back with her, it might be better for you to just cut contact completely so you can move on more quickly. ... (read in full...)
Is he sticking around for sex or he genuinely likes me?
Q. Met this guy online. First date was at his house, and yes ended up making out in his bed but no sex. Second time i was drunk and lonely. He texted and ask if i want to go over to "cuddle". again i agreed, and i ended up at his house. No sex as ...
A. 20 January 2013: The first several dates shouldn't be at his house or at yours, if you're looking for more than sex. You didn't have to agree to go to his house either time.
Why did you cancel the next two dates? He agreed to meet in public for a proper date. I'... (read in full...)
I'm playing with fire with an 18 year old co-worker that also works with my wife
Q. I'm 36 and have been married for 15 years,we have 3 children and have been happy for most of our married life. I've recently been getting feelings for an 18 year old girl at work and we have been flirting by text and she claims she fancies me ...
A. 19 January 2013: She does need someone to talk to about her issues with her father and family life, but a married man twice her age?
Are any of your children girls? How would you feel if one of them ended up in a vulnerable position when they get a bit older? H... (read in full...)
Don't I deserve to be treated right? Just brokeup with ex and am pregnant by my ex. But like this other guy.
Q. Not even a week a ago I got out of a long relationship with someone who was using me for everything like money and sex it was a 9 year off and on relationship. He is the father of my seven year old and now my unbornchild. I know I am already over...
A. 19 January 2013: I'm going to quote some clichés but only because they're all true for your situation: there are plenty more fish in the sea; don't settle for less than you deserve.
Take your time to get over your ex. Don't give yourself a hard time for the deci... (read in full...)
Don't I deserve to be treated right? Just brokeup with ex and am pregnant by my ex. But like this other guy.
Q. Not even a week a ago I got out of a long relationship with someone who was using me for everything like money and sex it was a 9 year off and on relationship. He is the father of my seven year old and now my unbornchild. I know I am already over...
A. 18 January 2013: "I need him!" - no you don't, you need some time to get over your 9 year relationship. I don't believe you can be totally over your ex in the space of one week. Apart from anything else, you're expecting his baby.
Yes you do deserve to be treat... (read in full...)
Moment of silence for Dear Abby
Q. I think we should have a moment of silence for the passing of our fellow agoney aunt Dear Abby....
A. 18 January 2013: Rest in peace, Abby. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend shows no intimacy or romance when he initiates sex. What can I do to change things?
Q. I really don't know what to do about my situation, and would really appreciate some advice. My sex life with my boyfriend is really getting me down. I really want intimacy and to feel like my boyfriend desires me sexually, but this is usually...
A. 18 January 2013: No, it's not a normal way of initiating sex. It's not because you are unattractive. I hope it's because he's young and doesn't have a clue, though I'm not entirely convinced.
You have to communicate. You absolutely must be able to tell him "no"... (read in full...)
Ex sent me dirty pictures says its because of me that he's hard. What do I do?
Q. Well, my ex messaged me out of the blue saying he missed me, then he ended up sending me a dirty picture saying I'm the reason that it's well hard. I'm pretty sure he only wants one thing . Should I just ignore him or what?...
A. 17 January 2013: I don't think much of his seduction techniques!
Delete the message/ photo.
You're absolutely right, he only wants one thing.
If he carries on, tell him he's lucky you haven't shared his lovely photo with all your friends, Facebook and th... (read in full...)
Unplanned pregnancy. I'm from a strict family and don't know what to do ....
Q. Hi everyone I'm here to get advice and not to be judged Yes me and my boyfriend are both adults and been together for 4 years. We are both working however we both live in different towns. We had sex however I took the morning after pill but I...
A. 17 January 2013: Hello
Just to add to Person12345's excellent advice, a good place for you to seek counselling since you're in the UK is the Brook Centre:
http://www.brook.org.uk/find-a-centre
http://www.brook.org.... (read in full...)
She doesn't want to change her Facebook status to 'in a relationship'....
Q. Im in a ldr with a wonderful girl for about 8 months, i've been introduced to her friends and family, in fact we spend christmas and new years together. i have pictures on my fb showing us together and she has shown me in other ways she cares about ...
A. 17 January 2013: OP, she sounds like a passive Facebook user rather than an active one; she goes on to see friends photos etc but doesn't really post much herself. I am much the same.
I simply wouldn't want to draw attention to myself on FB by announcing "I'm in ... (read in full...)
Marriage has broken down. He won't talk about it, won't try to fix it but hasn't moved out of the house. The pain is overwhelming.
Q. I have been married for 10 yrs, a stay at home mom for 8yrs. Two months ago my husband told me he doesn't feel anything for me anymore and doesn't want to be with me. We still live together, I still cook and clean up after him. We still share th...
A. 17 January 2013: What a horrible situation for you and the children.
I think that if he's making no effort to work on the marriage, you should tell him that's in the best interests of your children for him to move out until he gets his head straight.
He shou... (read in full...)
She doesn't want to change her Facebook status to 'in a relationship'....
Q. Im in a ldr with a wonderful girl for about 8 months, i've been introduced to her friends and family, in fact we spend christmas and new years together. i have pictures on my fb showing us together and she has shown me in other ways she cares about ...
A. 16 January 2013: The important thing is that she's introduced you to her family and friends. She's not trying to hide you away.
Like me, she's probably seen so many relationship updates from other people on FB that she finds it tedious and doesn't want to be a ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has female friend that he is entirely too close to
Q. So ill be honest, its a bit messed up, My boyfriend has a friend hes entirely too close to, She calls and texts him constantly, he makes plans to go places we didnt intend on because she gave him the invite. At first she wasnt a problem, then the ...
A. 15 January 2013: Goldiefoxxx, sorry you're having such a hard time. I responded to your new post. I wish you well x ... (read in full...)
After the breakup, I want my boyfriend back. I'm devastated. What can I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I recently broke up, we have our issues as any couple does, he gave me hope, told me everything was going to be ok, and that we were going to talk, and not lose sight of each other. It took him the second night away, to sleep wi...
A. 15 January 2013: Don't beat yourself up about pushing your ex in the arms of the other woman. You didn't. He was flirting around with her as well as other women (from your previous posts). He clearly wasn't into your relationship that much, though that's difficult ... (read in full...)
I'm confused by his actions. What should I do?
Q. Hi all, I am a 30 year old woman who has been talking to a 43 year old guy for around 3 months. Initially, he pursued me but after a couple of weeks things got heated and we were intimate twice. Since then, He has texted me less, sometimes not he...
A. 15 January 2013: It sounds like the typical scenario of him being keen during 'the chase' and then backing off once he got what he wanted, or backing off because he wants to keep you - and any other woman - at arms length emotionally.
He doesn't sound like he'... (read in full...)
We're going to the dance as friends but he told everyone he was going to have sex with me after the dance. He's so disrespectful!
Q. So I have a dance coming up in a month where it is a girls ask guys dance. Well one of my guy friends that I've known for over 4 years wanted to go with me and I figured hey, why not. So I asked him (more like he asked me). Well it's been a week and ...
A. 14 January 2013: Ask another guy to the dance and don't feel guilty about it!
Obviously I don't know the guy, but from what you've written:
At best, he has a huge crush on you, is totally smitten, and is overly enthusiastic.
At worst, he's a creep who'... (read in full...)
Boyfriend went on online dating site, I made fake profile and he wants to meet! Now what?
Q. I need help urgently!!! I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 8months tomorrow, and right now I am so confused on what to do next!! At the start of the month we moved in together in a flat, and he often tells me he loves me, etc....
A. 14 January 2013: I don't know when you'll read this, and the time of the 'date' may have passed already. If it was me, I'd stand him up. Let him wait for the fictitious woman. But then again, I would have dumped him the first time he cheated and I certainly wouldn't ... (read in full...)
He wants to be faithful to his girlfriend, but I want to tell him how I feel. Is this a good idea?
Q. I met this guy about a year ago and recently, in September, we began to hang out and we became "close" like intimate. I liked him and I still do. The problem is that he has a girlfriend now. For about two months, we fell off because of a conflict ...
A. 14 January 2013: No it's not a good idea to tell him how you feel. He has a girlfriend and he's committed to her. He's not available. Telling him your feelings won't make him available because he's already made his decision. You'll end up feeling embarrassed and ... (read in full...)
I'm reacting very badly to this breakup. I'm depressed and anxious, can't eat or sleep. How can I get back to functioning normally?
Q. I'll keep it very short. Advice needed please to overcome this break up which has caused me depression. I am 34, my Boyfriend who is 29 decided after 2 years together (a year of which living together) he just doesn't love me anymore and in a...
A. 13 January 2013: I have also been there.
Kelly and AuntyEm gave great advise and I agree with them 100%.
It is such a shock to the system, it's unbelievable and hurts so very much. Once I actually woke up crying/ sobbing, and remembering that awful moment sti... (read in full...)
GF went on holiday without me and packed her sexy lingerie. What does this mean?
Q. My girlfriend went on holiday without me, she says for a break from everything, but she took her sexy lingerie with her. When asked why, she replied that she did not even notice, just grabbed a handful of undies and packed them. What does this...
A. 13 January 2013: It doesn't necessarily mean anything, it depends on other things.
A woman's underwear can fall into 2 categories: nice/ sexy, or everyday. I guess there's a third category of super sexy or raunchy stuff that some women have. Anyway, when I go on ... (read in full...)
My wife thinks I'm seeing other women. How can we sort this out?
Q. Hi all. I got a prob that I think I’m stuck with. I been married for year and half and things ain’t too pretty. My wife is thinking that I’m seeing other women and hiding things from her. I have a friend, T, that lives south of England, I’m...
A. 13 January 2013: I think she has to back to the counselling sessions. She can't expected to be 'fixed' in three weeks, and she also can't expect any improvement unless she engages with the therapist. That involves being totally honest with the therapist and herself, ... (read in full...)
Met a great guy but he's 20 years older and a "happy single". What should I do?
Q. Hi. I met this man online. I knew he was older than me (51yrs old, I'm 31) but and we became friends, we met up yesterday the first time and we went for a meal and I had a great time, and something else happened I realised I liked him more than ...
A. 13 January 2013: Did you meet him on a dating site? If yes, and he then said he's happy being single, it doesn't sound like he's looking for a relationship, just casual sex. Listen carefully to what he's saying because I think he was giving you a clue. ... (read in full...)
Was this 'picking someone up at a bar', or not?
Q. So I just want to know if this is considered picking up a guy from a bar? There is a guy I have met but don't know too well. He is a friend of a friend. I have met him before, sat on the same table and had dinner. On my friend's birthday I hook...
A. 13 January 2013: No you didn't 'pick him up'! I agree with anon e mouse, your friend is jealous. Don't rise to it. ... (read in full...)
Where do I from here? Unhappy marriage. I've fallen for a married man I met on a dating site.
Q. I have been married for over 23 years , with 2 kids and have been unhappy in my marriage for over the last 15 years as my husband had a drinking problem As a result I have lived in an abusive relationship. He gave up drinking about 4 years ag...
A. 13 January 2013: Well ideally, you'd leave your husband, set yourself up as a single woman, and start dating men who are not in committed relationships.
I can't think how else you're going to get what you want/ need, and you won't get it with the situatio... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has female friend that he is entirely too close to
Q. So ill be honest, its a bit messed up, My boyfriend has a friend hes entirely too close to, She calls and texts him constantly, he makes plans to go places we didnt intend on because she gave him the invite. At first she wasnt a problem, then the ...
A. 11 January 2013: Goldiefoxxx, I don't think you've done the wrong thing in breaking up with him. You two weren't compatible. There were two separate women you were uncomfortable about, and you were uncomfortable about the way he was behaving around them. You trusted ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has female friend that he is entirely too close to
Q. So ill be honest, its a bit messed up, My boyfriend has a friend hes entirely too close to, She calls and texts him constantly, he makes plans to go places we didnt intend on because she gave him the invite. At first she wasnt a problem, then the ...
A. 10 January 2013: Goldiefoxxx, I understood from your other post update that you were going to take a big step away from this boyfriend. What happened?
You didn't handle this at all well. I know you're upset and angry, but aren't you above all this drama? (answer ... (read in full...)
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