A
female
age
30-35,
*eris
writes:Hi,I broke up with my boyfriend through SMS some time ago (the reason I gave was that we were both too busy to have a relationship, it had become almost impossible to chat with him even through phone or meet up due to his busy schedule) and he's no longer picking up my calls. I don't wish to continue the relationship but I wish to remain friends (or at least still be on talking terms) with him if possible. How long should I wait before contacting him again (more in a 'friends' kind of way)? I understand that contacting him too soon after the breakup would be insensitive.Thanks.
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female
reader, aeris +, writes (2 April 2008):
aeris is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi,
I don't have his mailing address or even email so it's impossible to send him a letter. Most of our interaction was either face-to-face or via the phone.
I thought long and hard about it and came to the conclusion that I do not need a friend like him, since he could even neglect me and not respect my time when I was his girlfriend, I probably won't be treated that well as a friend in the future. After all, true friends are there when you need them.
I've decided to just leave it as it is, after all if we are fated to be friends, we'll get to meet again and resolve this issue. If not, nothing I do is probably going to make any difference and might even make the situation worse.
Thank you all for your replies ^^
A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (1 April 2008):
 In all honesty if he isn't taking your calls then he is either angry or hurt and it doesn't sound like he wants to stay in touch with you.
Ending it by SMS is not the face to face type of thing and he may not want to be your friend as he feels that if wasn't fair the way you ended it.
Yes you could try and reach him by letter or whatever but there are no guarantees that he will even read your letter.
I think it is your needs right now that you feel there was no closure as he hasn't responded to you.
Don't push the friendship thing as it may never happen and you have to face that fact.
BFN
Country Woman
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008): From what I understand most men do not want to remain friends with exs, why would they especially as you dumped him.
Why do you need to be friends? your relationship didnt work, move on and leave him be.
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A
female
reader, Susan Strict +, writes (1 April 2008):
 The longer you leave it the more difficult it will be. Say it now - tell him as soon as you can what you want to tell him. If it's too difficult to talk to him right now then write a letter (SO much better than an e-mail or text message). It doesn't have to be a full novel! It's far less likely that he will throw away a letter than delete a text or e-mail without reading it - even if he doesn't read it right now, the chances are that he will keep it. THEN leave it for at least a couple of months unless he contacts you.Good luckSusan
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