| A
age
13-15,
writes: Ok your gonna all think I'm absoultely crazy and some may tell me I need mental help but please tell me your thoughts about what I'm about to tell you ok. Ever since I was very young I've wanted a baby.I'm 15 years old now . I know I'm going to be a great mom and I want to be a stay at home mom when I get older. I sometimes fantisize about being pregnant and having a baby. I have a boyfriend I love soooooo much and he loves me and we've talked about sex and having babies when we are older. And he said if we have sex now and I got pregnant he'd be happy and marry me and take care of it with me and He'd still get a job and we'd live with my parents and stuff ( my parents of course don't know about this but it hasn't come to that yet so yea...but I know if that was the situation they wud let us live with them) And that's exactly what I want . MY boyfriend (16) to be my husband and have a baby with him . I want it now !!!! So should I wait til we are older or get pregnant now ? I think that he is serious and if I got pregnant now he wud love me enough to marry me and take care of the baby . There's nothing in the world I want more then this . DO you think I'm crazy?should I wait ???be honest !!!!!thanks
View related questions:
live with my parents, want a baby Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2008): go for it if you think you can handle it but just remember look at all the people that have answered your question i do belive they are right i am 16 my boyfriend is 24 in dec he has a son to his ex who was seven teen wnen justin came you may think you are ready they did and now my boyfriend dosent even get to see his son so think about it befor you do it yeah i have dreamed of havinga baby but in my head i no its not right to bring a child in this world when i am still one my self and belive me my mates have got kids and my vousin is 20 she was told she could never have kids and now she is pregnant she waited and waited for her dream to come true and it has so if you think about it there are people out there that cant have kids and then there are younge teenage girls getting pregnant just for the money and they think they can handle it but the truth is you will break down and end up pushing the baby of to your parents or to a odoption place do you want that i my self think you should wait finnish school get a house and make sure you will be with the father for a life time because other wise your child will ask you questions that you dont want to answear but hey its not any of our choices its yours so choose wiaely i think you will be a great mum one day just not yet good luck enjoy your life while your still younge because you can never turn back your age or the time ...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2008): hey im 16 and feel the same way though my boyfriend is 23 and he has a child to his ex girlfriend but honestley if you think you could handle having a child at 15 and still go to school and your boyfriend wants a child to then you need to think about it and see do you have the money to bring a child into the world do you have the time and the pacients to care for a baby my boyfriend is in a huge bunch of dets that have to be paid i dont go to school i am looking for a job and as much as i wont a child we can not afored it we live in a caravan out the back of his grans house because we cant afored a house or to rent one it is becoming a big mess but if you think you can handle it then go for it because if i had the chance i would my hole life all i have wanted was a baby but when you get older are you still going to be with the father of your child is he really in love with you dose he want a child at a younge age any way just think about it if i fell pregnant i would keep it because i dont belive in abortions if you get pregnant then there must be a reason for it...
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2008): I was 20 and married when I had my first child. My Husband also was 20. It started out good but as I hit my 3rd month of pregnancy he decided he wasnt ready to be a dad. I told him its a little to late for that well he left me anyway I chased him for 2 months and he came back home. after our baby was born she was about 3 months old and he left again. I told him to think out was he was doing. He went to stay with a friend who was also married but had no kids to think about what he wanted. I went on vacation with my mom and dad to Colorado and when I came back a week later he was there on my front porch waiting on me, I figured he was ready to be a husband and dad, boy was I wrong he proceded to tell me that he slept with my close friend while I was gone. So, I asked him were do I send the divorce papers. I ended up living with my parents raising my child I didnt move out till I was 22 and my daughter was 1 and a half. I have since remarried, and I am 29 years old my daughter now 2 calls my new husband daddy cause her father my ex left for 3 and a half years not telling anybody were he was. Try telling a six year old that you dont know were her father is and dont know when he will be back or if he ever will come back. You are young he is young. Boy friends will come and go or he is the one? Even at that dont rush it. Concerts and movies going to the drag races, or what ever you plan on doing for your weekend is alot funner not carting around a baby and a diaper bag. yes babies r fun but if you just want a baby to just have one then get a job at a daycare first and learn what its like to take care of babies. better yet volentier at one till you turn 16, then maibie you could work there. I am 29 married and still only just have the one child she is 9 now and still wanders why her father loves his new family more that he does her? No I am not just saying that she has actually said that to me. How do you answer a question like that? So how you choose to make your choice I hope that its the grown up choice to wait for the write time in your life when you know that you will be able to support the child financialy and emotionaly. Also how does your boy friend feel about having a baby? Is he ready? Just remember 1am, 3am and 5am feedings and diaper changes, tired or not you would have to get up not your mom or your dad this would be your baby.Just remember Jesus Loves you and I'll pray for you to make the right choice. sinceraly,BLUE
...............................
A
female
reader, ....  +, writes (24 July 2008):
hey im 15 and i just had a baby.. Its not easy being a young mum.It does effect your life greatly like you dont get to hang out with your mates much, you dont get to have a good education and work to your full potential. i wasnt planing on having a baby for mayb another few years. It does complicate alot of stuff. like my boyfriend can get introuble for having sex with a minor even tho we both wanted it. you cant do much untill your 16. if you really want a baby now like extremely badly i recomend you waiting till your 16 atleast or over. Becuz ur bf can get in to trouble.
...............................
A
female
reader, Alisha13  +, writes (24 June 2008):
I think its amazing you want to be a mom, because me my self have been trying to have a baby with my boyfriend, and im 15 and hes 16 going on 17, but still no luck, just talk to him more about it, make sure hes going to stick by you through the whole thing and talk about if u can afford it, does he have a job? does he want to wake up in the middle of the night to feed ur child, would he want to stick by you if your child was disabeled, just important things just talk alot about it and just be sure thats what you want to do beacause it will change both of your lifes forever.
GOOD luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, Koyana  +, writes (22 June 2008):
Honestly, I don't think you're crazy. My boyfriend and I are both planning the same thing. I'm fifteen and he's sixteen, soon to be seventeen. He has already discussed this issue with his mother. She's trying to convince us not to, but she honestly doesn't care about our decision.
Anywho, just make sure it's what you absolutely want. :] Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, kena10~ +, writes (25 May 2008):
No i dont think your crazy. Its very sweet and cool that you have such a suportave boyfriend! I too am 15 and want a baby though i am alone, i just have been fantazing about being pregnant and having a baby. But honestly i think you should wait yes you have a father for your baby and that is one of the most important things is for a baby to have love from a mother and a father. But do you know how your parents how react if theyll kick you out? will everyone be happy for you and will it bother you if there not? Will your boyfriend still stand by you or well he be stunned by reality? Will you regret not having more money at the time and being more prepared? Do you want a real job will his pay for enough alone? Do you both want to finish high school and collage for a better paying job? Thats just my opinoin i really think you should wait. Rememeber having a baby changes everything. But goodluck whatever you decide :)
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2008): im in the same situation as you im 15 and people around me are having babies to and me and my boyfriend both want one but the thought of what my parents will say and not making them proud is holding me back. Realisticly i know its better to wait i know its gonna be hard but when i eventually do have a baby i know it will be worth the wait as i will be able to provide for it better and my parents will e happyer. i know how you feel and good luck.
xx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2008): I can See the urge you have to be a mom, but you have to understand with being a mom there comes responsibility, hard work and commitment towards looking after your baby.
Im guessing your still in High School? Just think if you get pregnant It's going to effect your studies and the approach that you have in life, basiclly its just throwing your teenage years away.
Your boyfriend sounds like a nice guy that's willing to stand by you, but you can't put all the responsibility on your parents, they are going to be the ones that are looking after your child wile you are in school.
Personally I think You Should wait until your older and matured abit more to understand the whole consept.
I'm Sure when your finally a mom, your going to be a great one, and your going to look back and think why the hell was i thinking about getting pregnant at that age?.
Plus It Wouldunt be fair on your baby as your only young yourself. Just Make sure you make the right desicion, and if you really want to get pregnant that much and feel like your mature enough, then sit down and have a proper talk with your parents And your boyfriends parents.
TAKE CARE
x3
...............................
A
female
reader, Country Woman  + ♥, writes (26 March 2008):
 Good girl you do have a good head on your shoulders and the one comment you got back saying go for it cannot be from someone that mature in my opinion.
I know you have made the right decision.
Perhaps getting a part time job doing some babysitting or looking into a career in childcare could be something that could calm your desire for children and give a good grounding for being a mum later on. You would see first hand what is involved in looking after children. You never know you could end up being a well paid nanny in years to come.
Take care and well done btw.
BFN
Country Woman
x
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all sooo much I appericate all the answers . I didn't think I'd get this many responses. I think I'm gonna wait on the baby ..... Even tho I want it very bad I really can't afford it andd like many of you said it's not fair to my parents....
thanks again
...............................
A
female
reader, xapathyxrebornx +, writes (26 March 2008):
 I think you should wait i was in the same situation you are in now until ive decided to wait.
Finsh school AT least.
If your passionate about these children you want to have with him try building FOR that over the years, get a stable job BEFORE you get pregnant and YOUR OWN house. Maybe MARRIAGE as well.
Your 15, you have the time, build your foundations FOR those kids you wanna have , you want them so bad right? Well do something good for them and wait for them, the more you wait the more you will love them.
I mean, come on, if you do it now you'll love the hours of waking up in the middle of the night then going into school, being thrown up on when your friend are around and your boyfriend, and wiping shitty arses....oh yeah theres the "crying-when-they-want-something-which-is-often" part too.
So yeah if you want them so badly WAIT for them ad prove to everyone you dont wanna be another common statistic.
Message me if you want to talk Xx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): Yes, you should wait. Thinking of having kids should wait until your both financially stable and are married. Doing so before this will only place walls in front of you both, and your struggles will trickle down to your child. Waiting until your married will also provide a little more security to you, because you will have his committment to be there, through thick and thin.
...............................
A
male
reader, kb123 +, writes (26 March 2008):
i think you should go for it he seems like he loves you and will stand by you
let me know how it goes
good luck xx
...............................
A
female
reader, °Ale°  +, writes (26 March 2008):
 Of course you should wait! Things in real life aren't as peachy as you might seem them. For starters, you need to have both, financial and emotional stability. You can't possibly count on moving in with your parents and have your 16 year old bf take care of the situation. When in reality, all care and responsibility will fall entirely on your family. What about your future? if you really think you'll be a great mother, shouldn't you be thinking on striving to be the best you can be so that when the times does come, you'll be ready to provide/give the very best to a child who deserves nothing less?
And I am not saying that someone your age can't be a mother, there's many scenarios where kids your age end up with a baby. But if you find yourself on the other side, with the opportunity to choose a different road, why take the bumpy one?
Just my personal opinion, in the end, im sure you know what's best for you.
Goodluck, kiddo.
...............................
A
female
reader, °Ale° +, writes (26 March 2008):
Of course you should wait! Things in real life aren't as peachy as you might seem them. For starters, you need to have both, financial and emotional stability. You can't possibly count on moving in with your parents and have your 16 year old bf take care of the situation. When in reality, all care and responsibility will fall entirely on your family. What about your future? if you really think you'll be a great mother, shouldn't you be thinking on striving to be the best you can be so that when the times does come, you'll be ready to provide/give the very best to a child who deserves nothing less?
And I am not saying that someone your age can't be a mother, there's many scenarios where kids your age end up with a baby. But if you find yourself on the other side, with the opportunity to choose a different road, why take bumpy one?
Just my personal opinion, in the end, im sure you know what's best for you.
Goodluck, kiddo.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): Yes, I think you're crazy. Out of your mind, actually. Your boyfriend sounds like a nut, too, if he thinks this is a good idea. What could you possibly be thinking? Answer me this: do you even know how much it costs to have and raise a child? Tell me, how much will the medical bills cost? How much will you need to spend on food and diapers every week? How much will you be able to save in order to send your child to college? How is your boyfriend going to look after you and your child, financially speaking? With his paper-route money? The mere fact that you are even considering this tells me you're nowhere near mature enough to be a mother. Keep your legs closed before you ruin your life.
...............................
A
female
reader, Country Woman + ♥, writes (26 March 2008):
Sweetheart you are living in a fairytale picture of the whole scenario right now and believe me I am 42 and I have a 7 year old daughter so I have a little bit more of life experiences under my belt and being a single mum is not easy.
You say your bf has told you he would be there for you but it is not the real world and right now you are under age so don't rush into this.
I knew from a very early age that I wanted children and through different operations I thought I may never have them and I could have rushed into having a baby long before I did but timing is so important and you need to have a mature head on your shoulders and also have lived your life a little.
I am not saying you have to be my age to have a child, far from it but don't rush into this as it is a LIFETIME committment believe me.
Enjoy your youth right now and live a little, get through school and if you want to go out into the world get a job and live an independent life first of all. Travel and see the world as when you have children that stops most of the time. You can't just say that your parents would let you live at home, what if they didn't - it isn't fair to put that onto them. They had you and any other siblings you have and now you are getting to an age when you are becoming more independent.
As parents we nurture our children to grow up and become independent so that one day once they have achieved success in whatever they want to do, whether that is a career or meeting the man of their dreams or woman for a man it is then that we realise they are becoming independent of us and then perhaps grandchildren will follow and they may visit on weekends and we can hand them back when they go to their own homes.
What you are saying is to skip all of that and bank on the fact that your parents will just say OK. The thing is when you are fed up with being parents one night and want to go out to enjoy yourselves as it is damn hard work, sleepless nights, nappy changes and feeds in the early hours you think it is OK for your parents to support you and your child and boyfriend and they are built in babysitters.
You need to grow up some more and if you want to become independent and have children then you need to get jobs and find a home and pay bills first of all before you think about having children. They are expensive and you never stop giving.
I think it is unfair to expect your parents to have a whole new family over again and put the financial burden onto them.
Also sweetheart don't bank on what your bf says now as it could all be a rosey picture right now but after having unprotected sex he may run as fast as his feet could carry him. Men and boys can tell us females what we want to hear but there is one person sometimes left holding the baby and that is no rosey picture believe me.
Don't waste your youth just enjoy life first.
Take care and always here for you OK.
BFN
Country Woman
x
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): It may not seem like it now, and I'm not saying it's definatley going to happen, but if you get married young, and have a kid young, then the relationship breaks down.
Imagine if you waited until you were in your 20's, and had a baby, then all the time you've waited for one will make the happiness even better.
Also, it would show whether your boyfriend was going to stay with you anyway? Have one now and the best years of your life are set in concrete. It's not all fun and games.
Obviously it's what you want to do, but my advice is learn from the mistakes of millions of people, take further education, just to A-levels, start up on a career, get married to your boyfriend if your still with him or scout for them, and then start a family when your - this isn't an insult in anyway because I'm also 15 - more mature and wiser.
Good luck and have fun,
DB
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008): Your only 16 and can't take care of yourself yet how can you take care of a baby. Do you think your parents should take care of you your boyfriend and a baby? That's not fair.You are so young and need to live life to the fullest. Sure most all women want a baby but that's a big responsibility one that quite frankly a girl you age should not have. I think you ought to talk to someone who had a child this young and they will tell you it was not easy. Friday nights while all the other kids are out what will you be doing? Taking care of that baby. Not to mention school would suffer.Do you want to drop out or be so tired at school you can't focus. I hate to tell you this also but most kids who have children when teens usally don't stay together with the baby's dad or mom. I know alot of girls this happened to and daddy says bye bye. Then you will be alone with a baby do you want that? Even if he stays what 17 year old makes enough money to support you and a baby while paying rent bills gas exc. Can't do that on min wage. Go to collage live a little get married first please! Stop and think . hope all works out and you wait it's better for you and your boyfriend.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008): Look... Patience is a virtue.
Try not to view children with rosy coloured glasses right now. They are expensive, annoying, completely dirty and will screw everything up.
You are still in school, neither of you are financially capable of this at your age, not in the day and age.
So wait, wait until at least the age of 18. Because there are too many other things you need to focus on right now, and a baby isn;'t one of them.
Flynn 24
...............................
A
female
reader, MissKin + ♥, writes (25 March 2008):
 Yes, you should wait. I can tell you've thought a lot about it and you're obviously very passionate about the subject but you're only fifteen! Fifteen is too young to be having children when you're technically still a child yourself. Wait until you've done everything you could ever want to do as an adult. Enjoy your future and don't have a baby around for you to worry about. I know you may think you're ready and from the sounds of it yes, you probably will be a very nice and considerate mother but your child will get the best from you when you've had the best that life's had to offer. You've only just begun to live, you can't be responsible for another life over your own until you're older. There's no rush. Please enjoy your life first.
...............................
|
