Is my ex boyfriend taking advantage?
Q. Am I being taken advantage of?. My ex boyfriend started doing some painting in my apartment. He has done two days work so far. He doesn't decorate for a living. He just said he would help. He got in touch with me on facebook, after not contacting me ...
A. 25 August 2016: OP, I don't think anyone here believes this guy is a gem, but you are not a victim here. You're taking advantage of him just as he is taking advantage of you.
Your first clue that he was going to be pushy was when he kept pushing to come to your ... (read in full...)
I know my ex has a new Gf, so why is he bothering to text me when he's drunk?
Q. why do ex boyfriends send text when drunk? my ex continues to give me false hope with random contact, I know he has a new gf so why the drunk texts?? ...
A. 24 August 2016: For the same reasons ex girlfriends send drunk texts. It's nice to know you're in demand and have options in case the one you're with doesn't pan out.
Like Honeypie said, he's just making sure you're still a viable temporary back up plan.
Bloc... (read in full...)
Is my ex boyfriend taking advantage?
Q. Am I being taken advantage of?. My ex boyfriend started doing some painting in my apartment. He has done two days work so far. He doesn't decorate for a living. He just said he would help. He got in touch with me on facebook, after not contacting me ...
A. 24 August 2016: What you're doing is akin to a man who shows up at his ex wife's home expecting her to cook him dinner, wash his clothes, nurse him when he's ill and have sex with him whenever he wants then argues he's a single guy and can date whomever he wants. ... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable wanting to take things slow after our breakup?
Q. Hello to everyone... So I'm looking for some advice... My girlfriend and I had been together for six....almost 7 years. Anyway... We broke up and things got a bit messy. There were a lot of horrible things said.... She was hurting... I wa...
A. 24 August 2016: Thanks for the follow up. It did clarify something for me. I thought she thought she was pregnant by you and wasn't facing it.
If she was with someone while dating you, and all the crazy partying and the immaturity of wanting a double date now... (read in full...)
I'm still blocked, does he still hate me?
Q. Hi - I had a bad fall out with a guy who I discovered was two timing me. He got annoyed because I found out a lot of things about him and made sure people knew about it and so understandably he blocked me! Two years later - I have moved on...
A. 24 August 2016: Agreed.
I've blocked people (with far less drama) simply because I didn't need them in my life, then forgotten all about them. I don't hate those people either I just have need for them.
Besides, there is a difference between not hating someo... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable wanting to take things slow after our breakup?
Q. Hello to everyone... So I'm looking for some advice... My girlfriend and I had been together for six....almost 7 years. Anyway... We broke up and things got a bit messy. There were a lot of horrible things said.... She was hurting... I wa...
A. 23 August 2016: I should also add...
If you're hoping to start fresh, then don't make the same mistake so many others seem to make by bringing up old hurts. Leave the past in the past. Treat one another the way you did when you first met - be interesting and fun.... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable wanting to take things slow after our breakup?
Q. Hello to everyone... So I'm looking for some advice... My girlfriend and I had been together for six....almost 7 years. Anyway... We broke up and things got a bit messy. There were a lot of horrible things said.... She was hurting... I wa...
A. 23 August 2016: It's reasonable of you to not want to get too close too soon, but going on a double date at this point might be a bit awkward.
I would suggest changing the time and setting of your meets up to allow you both what you want. Go for lunch during t... (read in full...)
Am I making this about myself?
Q. Can someone please tell me if I am over reacting and making this about myself? My husband's adult children are always in hard times because they don't have jobs or quit their jobs and one of them just keeps having babies that she can't afford. We ...
A. 23 August 2016: Your husband has been honest (more or less) so perhaps you should be too.
The next time asks if you're in a position to help one of his kids again, simply say 'No.'
No anger, no questions, no huffing or sighing, no follow up. Just 'No.'
It... (read in full...)
I'm not sure about a second date with him any more, my feelings have changed!
Q. im not 100 % sure what to do and thats why im here . A year ago i went on a date with a guy we both wanted the same out of life then , the date was good and we got on well but he always had an excuse for cancelling a 2nd date ( always a 'family ...
A. 23 August 2016: I agree with not wasting time on another date. Whether he had an understandable excuse or was spinning a tale, you're not interested.
Life is short so why spend it doing something, or spending time with people you're not interested in?
No hard... (read in full...)
My boyfriend promised to go on a trip with my mother and I but spent the money on other things and said he couldn't go!
Q. My Bf of 3 years and I planned at trip with my mother. My mother lives overseas and while I was doing the application process to be able to bring her to America we planned to make a trip the 3 of us to welcome her. It was 6 months ago. The time ...
A. 23 August 2016: I don't know why you even invited him, even if he were the best boyfriend. You and your mum will have a much better time without him, that is if you don't squander it all by stewing and complaining about him.
This is 'girl time' so go and have fun... (read in full...)
Is it really over or could there be another reason for his reluctance to reply to my last question following our break-up?
Q. Premise: It was a whirlwind romance that started out as an innocent friendship ended with a declaration of "I like you" and talks about what it would be like to be married and plans of a future together, but due to current circumstances we had to ...
A. 23 August 2016: A certain amount of awkwardness often follows any kind of disruption/interruption in a friendship or romantic relationship, which many folks will try to avoid by walking away. That does not mean they hate you or can't stand to be around you. They're ... (read in full...)
Was my Bf being insensitive for not texting me all day? Or am I expecting too much ?
Q. I need some objective advice. I am too close to the situation and too emotional I think. My boyfriend and I have been together for more than 3 years. Yesterday, he had family over for the day and did not contact me at all. I texted him at th...
A. 22 August 2016: I think you're over reacting as well. It would be a good idea for you to learn to become more emotionally independent.
He spent one day with his family. He did nothing wrong. Being in a relationship does not mean you have to be in touch througho... (read in full...)
Is it really over or could there be another reason for his reluctance to reply to my last question following our break-up?
Q. Premise: It was a whirlwind romance that started out as an innocent friendship ended with a declaration of "I like you" and talks about what it would be like to be married and plans of a future together, but due to current circumstances we had to ...
A. 21 August 2016: If you can go about your normal routine, see your friends as you would without trying to see or avoid him and without pursuing him with questions or post break up reflections.
It will get better with time. ... (read in full...)
My first love and I have reconnected after 30 years
Q. I linked with my ex over a year ago, my first love. We have know each other for 30 years. I have a family. He is single with no ties. We have been on dates and slept together a few times but kept it light. It was his birthday a few weeks ago...
A. 20 August 2016: He hasn't committed in 30 years, in fact he's already let you go twice, he's seeing other women and won't see you on weekends. You've acknowledged you know what he is and that he won't change, so what exactly is your question?
What is it you want... (read in full...)
Is it really over or could there be another reason for his reluctance to reply to my last question following our break-up?
Q. Premise: It was a whirlwind romance that started out as an innocent friendship ended with a declaration of "I like you" and talks about what it would be like to be married and plans of a future together, but due to current circumstances we had to ...
A. 20 August 2016: I think it's over and he wants it to be over and he's done with questions that keep it from being well and truly over.
It seems he liked you well enough, meaning that he probably wasn't a player (depending on those circumstances you mentione... (read in full...)
Why do his friends and relatives communicate with on Social Media in the way they do?
Q. I have a silly question - first and foremost I need to clarify that I'm not hung on social media, just I'm curious and would like to see aunties and uncles on dear cupid view this situation. I've been with my BF for 3 years and have become frie...
A. 19 August 2016: I agree with Honeypie.
In my opinion the etiquette that applies to hard copy photographs also applies to digital images but a lot of folks don't get this. Perhaps your boyfriend's siblings do and they're not posting pictures of you as a courtesy... (read in full...)
How do I get him to stop jumping for anything his wife wants and see that his wife is trying to control him?
Q. I am married and have been dating a married man for 3 yrs.Neither of us are having sex with our spouses. He says he doesn't love her but if she wants to do something and we have plans he just doesn't call me to let me know. He waits until after ...
A. 14 August 2016: I think the anon female should re-submit this as an article. It would probably help many women (and perhaps men) in this situation.
I don't normally read really long answers, but I did read this one.
Good luck to you both. I hope it works ou... (read in full...)
We slept together and now he's gone silent, advice?
Q. I was wondering if any of you could give me some advice on my situation. To start things off I've never been in a Relationship due to the fact I've never been interested and preferred to focus on school, work and enjoying my time with my friends....
A. 14 August 2016: I'm sorry this happened to you. Whatever his reasons, be it feeling overwhelmed by the experience and needing time to absorb it or that he's decided there is just no future, he's behaved badly here.
I suggest you make no further attempts to conta... (read in full...)
How best to help stubborn mother out of debt?
Q. My mom asked me to help her manage her finances. I agreed and gathered up her bills and created a budget. She's around 8,000 in debt from online store credit, credit card, and doctor bills. After creating the budget and realizing she doesn't make ...
A. 13 August 2016: Gift her the money AFTER she's implemented the changes you've suggested. No further discussion is necessary. In fact the more you say the weaker your position becomes and the more opportunity you give her to wear you down.
Second, STOP explaini... (read in full...)
I don't want a gf but I don't want her to be with anyone else. what should I do?
Q. Sooo about 6 months I got a new roommate who happens to be a female. We became roommates after meeting once for about 10 minutes. We hit it off eight away as we are both direct and have weird personal issues that almost identical in how we handl...
A. 10 August 2016: The fact that you want her to yourself suggests you DO want a relationship, but just don't want the negatives that may go along with it.
So let's examine those negatives (real or imagined).
Instead of general terms like 'I don't want to be... (read in full...)
Was I rude to not text him? How should I handle things when I next see him?
Q. So 2 weeks ago , I was telling 2 of my co-workers that I have to go for my road test soon but I haven't mastered Paralell Parking. One of the guys said he can teach me and knows a very easy way to do it. Him and I joke around allot and he seems li...
A. 9 August 2016: I suspect he's interested as well.
This meeting was rather informal and sort of off the cuff, so I don't think you were rude. You didn't have specific plans for lunch or coffee or for him to teach you how to park.
the next time you see him... (read in full...)
Found my boyfriend on a dating site. What should I do? Set him up or block him?
Q. Ive just been shocked by my boyfriend . He has been very silent with me and told me his phone was broken .My friend is on a dating site and she told me he is on there . I looked and he is , so i put up a fake profile only for him to see , i have no ...
A. 8 August 2016: I agree with Honeypie. Setting him up muddies the waters. He can and likely will argue that he knew it was you and that's the story he'll spin to others. Keep your hands clean, that way there is no room for doubt or suspicion.
Email him a link t... (read in full...)
I thought he was disrespectful to me. But now he says I'm not to contact him. Did I over-react?
Q. We've known each other for 6 years and have met in person countless times.I've also met his family.However,he has been wanting to skype with me for the last couple days but we couldn't because of schedule confiction.I finally I told him that I can ...
A. 8 August 2016: It was very rude of him, but you shot yourself in the foot by text bombing him. It made you look immature and unstable.
Write this guy off. He's rude and now wants nothing to do with you.
Next time someone does something like that to you, do ... (read in full...)
Why is my friend being so rude?
Q. Please provide me with some insight about a former friend's motives. I was friends with a woman, let's call her Alice, for a little over a decade. We met in our early 20s. We partied together as single ladies for a few years. I was there when...
A. 4 August 2016: I think it's more a case of she's outgrown the friendship than it is her being rude.
Friends don't have to stay in our lives forever. Circumstances change, people change somewhat and the things we needed from a friendship changes as well.
... (read in full...)
I’m feeling guilty for not throwing my baby a party for her first birthday!
Q. Has anyone here held off the idea of throwing a 1yr old birthday party for tgeir baby? My baby turns 1 next month. Myself and dad mostly dad planned to not throw her a party. For some reason i have started to feel really bad. I feel like i was ...
A. 2 August 2016: I think 'first birthday' parties are a fairly recent phenomenon. My parents didn't throw one for me, nor any of my siblings, nor did my relatives, nor family friends. Neither me nor my siblings threw first birthday parties for our kids, nor did any ... (read in full...)
How do I approach my husband about his flirting and asking women for photos?
Q. My husband has a history of massive flirting with the opposite sex. This was taken to another level once upon a time where I secretly checked his phone and he asked this particular girl for some sexy photos of her a**e. (Bearing in mind she'd al...
A. 31 July 2016: I, too, think you need to re-evaluate your investment in this man and this marriage.
Trust is not about being able to ask for his phone, but about not feeling the need to. Monitoring him does not give you control. It just gives you more work and... (read in full...)
I need to return an item to my ex, but don't want to see him when I do it because I'm not over him. Is this wrong of me?
Q. I had written in here a few weeks ago. I broke up with the guy who I was dating. Since I do not date much, it's been increasingly difficult to not cry because I got attached. He was super cool, casual about the whole thing. He moved on very ...
A. 23 July 2016: You're not making a big deal out of it. Your feelings may be/have been stronger than his and limiting your exposure is a sensible and logical approach.
Leave the slippers outside the door, then go and watch a movie or something. You don't ne... (read in full...)
What needs to be done? I am so ashamed. Should I hold back from going into detail about all the online sites I visited?
Q. Hello! so I have this problem. I've been with my girlfriend for going on 6 months, I really and truly care for her. I've gotten close to not only her but her family! She left for Costa Rica a month ago and since then we are alright but my t...
A. 20 July 2016: I'm a bit confused. You only spoke to two women besides your girlfriend, correct? One of whom she knows about and the other she does not? Are these two women local? You said you used to talk to one of them. You didn't meet up in person though, ... (read in full...)
How do I get him to move out? I feel trapped!
Q. Hi. My boyfriend of 4 years lost his job and he had no money and nowhere to go so I said he could stay with me while he sorted himself out. He got a job a year ago and is still living with me and not paying for anything except food because he pays ...
A. 20 July 2016: I pretty much agree with Honeypie except on one point. His finances are every bit your business as long as your supporting him.
And I agree with the likelihood that your relationship will be over once you turf him out. Then again, leeches ... (read in full...)
Wants a brood mare? Should I meet him? Been talking to him online but some of his questions are a concern.
Q. I know this sounds silly however I have been talking to this guy online. I told him I would meet him as a friend. He has been asking some off questions like if I will be fertile when we have planned to meet. He has asked several times and also w...
A. 15 July 2016: Do NOT meet this guy. He isn't looking for women friends. No matter what you say, as long as you communicate with him he'll see it as a foot in the door.
He's got a fetish or a particular agenda. Block and delete him. ... (read in full...)
Do I call it quits or keep trying?
Q. This seems to be one of my longer stories so here it goes. I met this girl on tinder, we chatted for a bit before I got her number. We would text back and forth, we wanted to meet but I was very busy with school while she was as busy with work. But ...
A. 3 July 2016: Yep, call it quits.
You haven't met because she doesn't want to meet.
I know life happens and so do emergencies, but this many and this early on and only when you're on the verge of meeting? Then she gets defensive to draw your attention a... (read in full...)
How do I get him to stop jumping for anything his wife wants and see that his wife is trying to control him?
Q. I am married and have been dating a married man for 3 yrs.Neither of us are having sex with our spouses. He says he doesn't love her but if she wants to do something and we have plans he just doesn't call me to let me know. He waits until after ...
A. 3 July 2016: Besides his say so, how do you know his wife is controlling and abusive? And how do you know if he and his wife are or aren't having sex? He can say anything, and apparently does. That doesn't mean it's true.
He doesn't leave her because he doesn... (read in full...)
Can't help feel offended by boyfriends comment. Advice please !
Q. Well my boyfriend was showing me this video the other day , the music video from fifth harmony called work. He said I look a bit like Camila cebelo , and I said thanks (she's really pretty if you guys have seen her!) anywaysyyyy he said to me that ...
A. 30 June 2016: I agree with him.
I don't see the insult here.... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be feeling as I do? And despite years together, I am always anxious around my husband
Q. I am in my 40s and am married to a very good man. Kids are grown and out of the house. My husband was away for a month, as his parents recently passed away within 3 months of each other, and he closed business for a month to spend time with his sist...
A. 29 June 2016: VERY normal. In fact so normal that the Japanese Medical establishment coined the term 'Retired Husband Syndrome' when they began seeing a sudden and drastic increase in the number of middle aged women patients who came in with various signs of ... (read in full...)
Is it cheating if a man, married or in a relationship, has a happy ending occur after a massage?
Q. Hi ladies (and gents), I was searching for some opinion here! Long story cut short, what do you think of a married man or your spouse getting a happy ending after a massage? Would that be considered as cheating? Would you be upset if he told you...
A. 28 June 2016: Another vote for the 'yes, it's cheating if it's intentional otherwise it's just embarrassing' camp.
I like that...'specialises in happy endings', lol. ... (read in full...)
What does the appearance of her toothbrush at my place mean?
Q. I've got a bit of a humorous question, however, it's also a serious one. Ladies, what does it really mean when you leave some of your belongings at a guys place? The girl I've been sleeping with for a while now just left (Cue the music: "Don don ...
A. 27 June 2016: I second Honeypie and CindayCares. ... (read in full...)
Is it Okay to ghost in this situation? I feel that he's lost interest in me.
Q. I've been dating someone for three months now. The first two months were great, he was very affectionate and planned thoughtful dates (as did I). He reached out daily and I reciprocated. We met twice a week. However this month he's been busy w...
A. 25 June 2016: In this situation I think it's ok to simply stop contacting him. Give it a week or so then block and delete him. Delete his friends as well, it was way too soon to add them.
I strongly urge you not to ask if he wants to keep it casual as he will ... (read in full...)
We agreed to remain friends but I haven't heard from him!
Q. A guy i was seeing for 5 months ended things with me a couple of months ago. From my persepctive everything was going well and had been fine between us leading up to him ending things so it really upset me as it was totally unexpected. When he ended ...
A. 23 June 2016: This pointless pursuit of closure is preventing you from having what you really need and that is acceptance. You may have been friends before you began dating but having been romantically involved changes things. His idea of friendship may b... (read in full...)
I'm shocked my boyfriend broke up with me because I wanted to communicate! Your thoughts?
Q. We have been going out 6 years on and off. We are students (23) He started working a few weeks ago. He didn't reply to my msg for 3 days, I heard from him the 4th day saying how much he loves me etc...he sent me a msg saying he will take me out...
A. 23 June 2016: lovehel, when you make someone else the centre of your universe, you're not showing them how much you love them. You're making them responsible for your happiness.
And it's bossy and selfish. Demanding that your boyfriend do for you the same as ... (read in full...)
I've asked my ex 3 times if he wants to hook up. He always says yes but it never happens
Q. Okay, so I've been horny lately and I ended up asking my ex if he was interested in hooking up and he said yes. But we never did it. I asked him 3 times, each time after I waited 2 weeks. The last time I asked was 4 weeks ago, and he said he was ...
A. 20 June 2016: You already look desperate asking him once, in my opinion. You've asked him three times now so yes, a fourth would look extremely desperate.
I suppose if he had some free time and was in the mood and in the area, he might be interested in a hook u... (read in full...)
Do I try to include my donor friend? Or be grateful for what he's offered and respect his wish for no involvement with the child??
Q. My friend has offered to be a sperm donor , im single and have been for a quite a while i just havent met the right man . i dont have time on my side and i suffer from pcos im slightly overweight due to pcos and weightloss is twice as hard. i keep...
A. 6 June 2016: Why not find a man who actually WANTS to be a father and not just a donor?
Is there a reason you don't want your child to grow up with a father?
... (read in full...)
Is our friendship over or am I just being paranoid?
Q. I have a friendship dilemma and don't know what to do for the best on it. I'll explain, basically I'm friends with a female at work, she's kind natured and tries to make the time for me when she isn't busy or hasn't got things on. The other day she ...
A. 5 June 2016: I recommend that you not burden her with this. Especially when it's something you can't control and don't even know for certain it will happen.
All that will come of such a discussion is your friendship will become a chore, something she has to w... (read in full...)
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