Am I an idiot to keep responding to him?
Q. Met a guy from a dating site 2 years ago. Met him on and off throughout and we just meet for sex. last time i saw him was about two months ago. I would of liked him to of wanted more then sex but i know he doesn't. The sex is alright but i know he ...
A. 14 January 2016: Yes and yes. I have to agree with Honeypie.
His agenda is so blatantly obvious, OP, there is no other way to read it.
I'm surprised you aren't bored with him already. ... (read in full...)
I feel guilty for giving him back some of his own medicine!
Q. My husband has been abusing me verbally, emotionally, physically and financially for the last 4 years. We have been separated for a month now and he is trying to be nice sometimes and then can be nasty. I am feeling upset at the moment as I have...
A. 10 January 2016: It is all your anger coming out of you. That's exactly what it is.
All that bottled up dissatisfaction was a poison. Breaking up with him lanced it so now all that pus is coming out.
Don't nurture those feelings or they'll take on a life o... (read in full...)
I am not sure if I am being insecure or disrespected, I expected more from a relationship!
Q. I have dated my boyfriend for about 8 months and am 28. Things on the most part are amazing. I have been cheated on before and I can be insecure. I never accused my boyfriend of cheating or stop him from doing anything. I have questioned him a...
A. 10 January 2016: The point of telling your boyfriend you'd been cheated on in the past was so he would make special accommodations for you, yes? Unfortunately, it backfired because once you declare yourself to be damaged goods any future issues you have will be ... (read in full...)
I'm fed up and tired of my girlfriend and her drama. There's a new woman on the scene. How do I approach her?
Q. Hello, I have been in a relationship with my gf for almost three years. However throughout those years it's been good and it has been REAL bad. She has a short temper and gets mad real easy. She also loves to argue. When I ignore her she comes back ...
A. 10 January 2016: I take knowing what you want to do with your girlfriend to mean you want to break up with her. I can't say I blame you but what does this old female friend have to do with it?
Surely you're not planning on stringing your girlfriend along until yo... (read in full...)
He wants to wait until he finishes medical school before getting married, although he suggested having a baby now! I'm in a dilemma! I need advice!
Q. hey everyone......my boyfriend and i have been together for more than a year now. six months into dating we started making plans about getting married and having children right after getting married. but suddenly my boyfriend stopped talking about ...
A. 10 January 2016: If he can't afford to get married then he most definitely cannot afford to have a baby.
You don't have to have a lavish wedding. You could keep it simple, and inexpensive but tasteful.
I'm afraid I'm with you on this one. I don't see that t... (read in full...)
I'm wondering if I'm over-analyzing or not. Does his lack of reply mean he doesn't care about me?
Q. Hi, A little background: I'm in a long-distance relationship where I temporarily live in China for work and my boyfriend in US. I've known him for 4 years (before moving to China) as great friends and co-workers. We started dating 6 months ...
A. 9 January 2016: I agree with the others.... (read in full...)
I am at the end of my rope and struggling with health and family problems.
Q. This isn't about a romantic relationship, but I am at the end of my rope. I desperately need help but I am petrified because it seems hopeless. Let me preface this by saying that I had an emergency surgery a few days ago... I am heavily medicate...
A. 8 January 2016: First, I have a few questions.
Your mother called you childish in one of those episodes, but how does she typically respond when he makes these outlandish accusations against you? What is her attitude toward you?
Does she acknowledge what... (read in full...)
Does a cheater cheat on everybody they are with and are they always cheating with multiple partners at once?
Q. Everybody always says cheaters are cheaters and will cheat on everybody they are with. Like it's gospel. So if you are with a man who has cheated on a partner in the past, it seems to be guaranteed he will do the same to you. Is this right? A...
A. 8 January 2016: I agree with Honeypie.
'Once a cheater, always a cheater' is no more factual a statement than is 'once fat, always fat' or 'once a smoker, always a smoker'.
Men and women cheat for a variety of reasons. Some have one night stands because t... (read in full...)
I'm dating a man that tells me things I don't want to hear
Q. This is going to sound.. different. Ok so I started dating a guy who was really quiet at first. Somehow, despite the silence, we fell hard in love with each other. And now that things are becoming a little more serious, and he's talking more and...
A. 6 January 2016: Please stop trying to figure him out. He's a horny adolescent boy trapped in a man's body. I don't know why you aren't bored stiff with him by now.
It's not what you want to hear but he and this relationship are going nowhere. You can explain ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend dumped me after I slapped him
Q. Hi again.. I'm had a huge argument with my boyfriend of 2 years last night.. We argued over how he's getting to the airport when he goes on holiday with his friends in March. I'm upset he's going away for one and secondly I wanted to take him to t...
A. 2 January 2016: OP, whether you're sorry or not is irrelevant. Abusers are always 'sorry' after the fact.
You tried to control him, when that didn't work you tried to guilt him and when that didn't work you got violent.
So he's going on a short vacation w... (read in full...)
My BF sent me a text saying he misses me and that he is frisky and then disappears after I answer him!!
Q. I don't understand men sometimes or do I not understand their texting habits. Or just texting? Or are my expectations too high? My BF texted me to say he misses me and that he is turned on and wanting to have sex with me. I responded back t...
A. 2 January 2016: Texting is a more informal means of communication. 'On my way'. 'Running late. Be there in 5.' 'Hi, just wanted you to know I was thinking about you'. That sort of thing. Sometimes people do have conversations, yes, but the unspoken underst... (read in full...)
Glad they're happy, but should I let them know how well sound carries in their house?
Q. not sure what to do .but recently baby sat for my son and daughter in law..as they may have been late home i stayed over..was nice that they went out .as ive been feeling that they not realy in love .as they never show efection or kiss around the ...
A. 2 January 2016: Say nothing and leave it be.
They'll undoubtedly be more careful when their son is older. They can jump off that bridge when they get to it. ... (read in full...)
Why is he lying about having a girlfriend?
Q. Long story short: "Why does he lie about having a girlfriend when he does not have one?" So I met this guy (lets name him X) in a game, he's pretty cool and we hit it off really well. We often talk on a group chat channel together with...
A. 2 January 2016: I agree. He might be embarrassed because he doesn't have a girlfriend or perhaps has never had one. People write in to us all the time because they've never been kissed, never been in a relationship, or never had sex and they think this means there ... (read in full...)
Are her tantrums normal?
Q. My fiancée and I have been engaged for 8 months, and are waiting 4 more months until we make it official because her parents are paying for a huge wedding in Cancun with 200 guests (only 20 guests are mine). This big wedding has started to show ...
A. 2 January 2016: I second the give her back the watch advice. OP, she is not 'trying'. There is no 'trying' when it comes to not abusing others. When you marry you take a vow for better or for worse. Is this the 'worse' you're prepared to live with for the re... (read in full...)
Boyfriend stopped speaking and I don't know why
Q. Hi everyone. I dont know what to say to my boyfriend he hasnt spoken to me all week, We've been together 6 months ,we dont live together and had no problems before he went silent on me. Ive asked him if theres a problem but he hasnt replied. I didnt ...
A. 1 January 2016: Denizen's right, I think.
I wouldn't do either of those things. In fact not hearing from you might make him wonder. Any message from you gives him a chance to read you so I advise you carry on with your life.
If he does contact you be c... (read in full...)
Husband's left for Pakistan. I'm in a terrible dilemma
Q. My husband has decided to return to Pakistan, I know he does miss his country. He knows I do not really want to go there as I am not a family person and he has a large family. He has basically told me that if I do not go with him then he will get...
A. 31 December 2015: I would most definitely not go either, OP. As Cindy points out there is nothing to stop him from taking another wife there anyway. He'd have the support of family while you'd have to rely solely on his good will. He'd have you over a barrel.
Do yo... (read in full...)
What could I say in a love letter to girl, without frightening her off?
Q. I need to write a love letter for this girl im going to ask out. Only thing is I dont want it to be one of those over the top corny love letters. I just want to tell her how I feel about her, a little romance is ok but i dont want to scare her off....
A. 30 December 2015: The love letter itself is a bit corny and premature so I advise against it.
If you think there's a chance she feels the same way, why not just ask her out for lunch or coffee or something?... (read in full...)
He didn't contact me Christmas day. What can I say to him? Is my reaction reasonable?
Q. Hello everyone I have been dating a wonderful man for 3 months. We were friends for 4 months prior to that. He is kind, attentive, loving, considerate, reliable, funny, generous, always keeps his promises, and generally a good man. We get on...
A. 30 December 2015: A happy, safe and prosperous new year to you as well.
He probably thought that since you'd both already exchanged Christmas wishes there was no need to repeat the same the following day.
Whether you celebrate it Christmas Eve or Christmas Day... (read in full...)
Is there something going on between my son's girlfriend and my husband?
Q. Son has been with his girlfriend 2 years, had to go in hospital for a couple of days, my husband said give her his number so she can text him to see how hes getting on which she did then recently She sent our son a message on face book to say she ...
A. 29 December 2015: Yes, the smiley faces are common, especially for teenage girls.
Again, OP, what you've described does not raise any alarms for me, nor anyone else here.
... (read in full...)
He didn't invite me to show his friend around the city. Was I overreacting?
Q. So my bf has a friend coming over from California. We live in Texas and this guy came yesterday. I live by myself and I know the lonely times sometimes are just annoying me. Anyway my bf told me today that he will come and his friend to my place to ...
A. 29 December 2015: I don't think there's anything wrong with a short visit just to introduce you, as long as that is made clear from the beginning. It's the hour I would have issue with.
If I'm home at 10pm I'm ready for bed, mentally if not physically. I don't ev... (read in full...)
Online dating and we clicked. But am I wasting my time?
Q. I met this guy online. We clicked and I enjoyed his conversation. Unfortunately, this man is 2800 miles away. After a couple weeks of phone conversation he decided that the distance was too much for him and that we could just remain as friends....
A. 29 December 2015: 2800 miles is a fair distance away which means you're spending at least a couple of hundred dollars on a plane ticket and a few hours travel time. And when you get there, you're either spending even more money on a hotel or you're staying at his ... (read in full...)
She pushes me away but expects me to stay when shes hurting and says she needs me. What can I do to be more compassionate and understanding?
Q. I'm having a dilemma. My girlfriend is an incredible woman....considerate, generous, supportive, affectionate, honest, loyal, hardworking, compassionate, goal orient, intelligent, sensitive. Her amazing side is amazing. Then there is her other ...
A. 29 December 2015: OP, this isn't what you want to hear, but I don't have high hopes for this relationship.
Your girlfriend is all over the map and has the emotional maturity of a 4 year old. There is nothing amazing about that.
You're not meant to win here beca... (read in full...)
I feel like she got me to fall in love with her but now she's backing out
Q. I met a girl at work and it became apparent after a couple of weeks that we liked eachother. She had literally just split with her ex of four years. After expressing to eachother that we liked eachother we kissed and things were good. We went out ...
A. 29 December 2015: I think you should bow out entirely and let her sort herself out.
Wanting time to regroup after a relationship ends makes perfect sense, but asking someone to wait around doesn't.
Don't delude yourself into thinking you can be friends with ... (read in full...)
I think she's a thief but what to do?
Q. Any advice will be appreciated please. Two weeks ago my colleague came round my house to pick me up for a course we both had to attend. She wasn't due to pick me up until 8am, however was at mine 30 minutes earlier (she said she arrived early as...
A. 28 December 2015: I agree with Honeypie as well. ... (read in full...)
He didn't invite me to show his friend around the city. Was I overreacting?
Q. So my bf has a friend coming over from California. We live in Texas and this guy came yesterday. I live by myself and I know the lonely times sometimes are just annoying me. Anyway my bf told me today that he will come and his friend to my place to ...
A. 27 December 2015: I think 10-11pm is rather late to be stopping by but I agree with Honeypie that you're being needy and unreasonable. You should have just told him it was late but to have a good time with his friend. It would be a good idea for you to make s... (read in full...)
Was I too pushy and frightened off a good guy?
Q. My question is about whether or not I might have frightened a good guy off. Male and female answers appreciated as I know we sometimes see things a bit differently! Anyway I will try to be brief. I met a guy at evening class in September and we...
A. 26 December 2015: I agree with your friend, however I don't think you were pushy enough to scare him off.
I doubt you have anything to worry about. Next time anyone suggests an alternate time, 'Sure, see you then' is the appropriate answer unless of course i... (read in full...)
My ex is calling me a whore and a liar. It bothers me! Would anyone else feel the same?
Q. I'm in a bad situation and I don't know what to do about it. Apologies if this quite a long question. I can't really talk to my family because they all have quite decent lives and I feel like a bit of a black sheep. Anyway I've been seeing m...
A. 26 December 2015: Your boyfriend no more believes you're a liar or a whore than he believes in Santa. This is pure manipulation designed to keep you around and on the defensive. Think about it, if he really believed you were a liar and a whore, why does he stay... (read in full...)
Had the best day with my boyfriend but he did not rely to my Good night text. Should I be worried?
Q. I sent my BF a "Good night" text late last night. Till now (mid aft) he still has not responded. We spent the day together yesterday and he gave me a gorgeous crystal bracelet. It was the best day. And I felt we were very close. I texted him...
A. 25 December 2015: Nope. Nothing to worry about here. It would have been nice if he'd responded, certainly polite, but he may have been busy with preparations and only signed in to his pc without having his cell phone nearby.
... (read in full...)
Is there something going on between my son's girlfriend and my husband?
Q. Son has been with his girlfriend 2 years, had to go in hospital for a couple of days, my husband said give her his number so she can text him to see how hes getting on which she did then recently She sent our son a message on face book to say she ...
A. 25 December 2015: There's nothing in your post to suggest or prove that anything is going on between your husband and your son's girlfriend. Since she's still dating your son she might have thought it was a snub to remove your husband's cell phone number from her ... (read in full...)
My mother passed away today, and I feel like a bad son!
Q. My mother past away today, she was 84, she been in bad health all year, she is in a better place now, but am I a bad son, my girlfriend broke up with me , three weeks ago, am thinking about her more, I love my mom, but my heart is broken, over a ...
A. 25 December 2015: Not much information to go on here.
What is it you've done or not done that you think makes you a bad son?... (read in full...)
My online friend always manages to bring sex toy talk into the conversation. Its beginning to make me feel uncomfortable!
Q. Hi, I recently joined an online dating forum and have been chatting to a few people including new female friends which is great. The options on the forum in terms of what members are looking for are as follows: Serious relationship, fr...
A. 24 December 2015: Something I forgot to add re his girlfriend...
He wants to meet you face to face but doesn't want his girlfriend to come and he doesn't want you to think he's up to anything so he tells you it's SHE who doesn't to come but is ok enough with you... (read in full...)
My online friend always manages to bring sex toy talk into the conversation. Its beginning to make me feel uncomfortable!
Q. Hi, I recently joined an online dating forum and have been chatting to a few people including new female friends which is great. The options on the forum in terms of what members are looking for are as follows: Serious relationship, fr...
A. 24 December 2015: Another vote for the 'you're not OTT' camp. I don't think this guy is entirely on the up and up.
Saying he was glad to find a friend with whom he could talk about anything was really just his non confrontational way of accusing you, before t... (read in full...)
Should I walk away from a man who is 90% perfect for me?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up in the end of October. We were arguing a lot. He says I'm too aggressive. As a native New Yorker I do have an edge. He's from the country with a very carefree laid back attitude. Our lease was up in December. We decided ...
A. 24 December 2015: I agree that this is not a New York thing. You're assertive and that's good so don't change that. I've read quite a few articles from nurses, doctors and hospice workers that regret for not being true to oneself and not having spoken up enough were ... (read in full...)
He said he'd call but he didn't. Did I do the right thing by not confronting him?
Q. I dated a guy for 2 months then he stopped responding to my messages one day. I didn't confront him about it or anything, I was actually about to be going on a trip so I didn't have time for the drama. 2 weeks later while I'm on my trip he tells me ...
A. 23 December 2015: I think you did the right thing. Why let him think he was more important than he is.
Whatever you do, don't call him back. Be the way you've been, that is dignified and formal. Keep him at arms length. ... (read in full...)
Should I leave her a note saying she has no morals?
Q. Hi. A few weeks ago a girl hit my car and damaged my wing mirror on a country road. She was speeding way to quick and didn't slow down. I've reported it to the police but they say cause its a country road that it would be fifty fifty. I'm replacing ...
A. 21 December 2015: Something you should know is that the highway traffic act does not always agree with the insurance act.
For example I've had clients who have slid into a pole in winter and the police tell them it's not their fault so they don't ticket them. Ho... (read in full...)
She took the presents and ran
Q. Hello was dating this woman for a short time. I just gave her Christmas presents, then next day she broke up with me. Should I ask for them back?...
A. 20 December 2015: Ok, so no word after two weeks it's fair to say it's over. Assuming she hasn't suddenly died and her friends and family don't know of you to tell you, it wasn't very nice of her to just disappear, especially after receiving gifts from you.
Since... (read in full...)
Am I hoping for too much?
Q. ive been in a 'relationship' for about 2 months, its official as in its on facebook so all our family and friends know. we havent slept together yet . its quite pathetic really because weve only met once a month ago his dad had a serious accident ...
A. 20 December 2015: He'll be the same person after the break he was before it. This space between you is just enough to let you rest up so you can continue where you left off.
I don't have high hopes for this working out. ... (read in full...)
Dating has changed since I was last on the scene.
Q. I am recently seperated after 18 years (still married and wearing wedding ring) and been going out more so my question is 3 part... 1) what do men think of a lone woman sitting in a bar? Sad? Desperate? Prey? Easy? 2) A man bought me a beer a...
A. 20 December 2015: 1. Not being a man I can't say for sure but since it is unusual for women to visit bars alone my guess would be hungry, easy, sad.
2. This is a no brainer. You told the man you were married and not interested. Then you ty to kiss him. If some man... (read in full...)
She took the presents and ran
Q. Hello was dating this woman for a short time. I just gave her Christmas presents, then next day she broke up with me. Should I ask for them back?...
A. 20 December 2015: Which one is it? She broke up with you or she just disappeared? How long has it been since you last heard from her?
... (read in full...)
She took the presents and ran
Q. Hello was dating this woman for a short time. I just gave her Christmas presents, then next day she broke up with me. Should I ask for them back?...
A. 19 December 2015: Charming.
She should give the gift back voluntarily without being asked. If she doesn't then asking for them back probably won't make any difference and stalking her for them won't help either.
... (read in full...)
Does it seem odd that so many of my BF's exes cheated on him?
Q. My boyfriend had one wife and three girlfriends, all of whom cheated on him. He is hard to reach emotionally sometimes and I think he is guarded due to these past experiences. I have told him I am not them. I was thinking. Does it seem odd ...
A. 19 December 2015: OP, you're assuming they have cheated. That everything he says about them is true and accurate. You have nothing but the say so of a bitter, angry man who, CLEARLY, has an axe to grind with women.
I'm sure he's not an asshole ALL of the time bec... (read in full...)
Does it seem odd that so many of my BF's exes cheated on him?
Q. My boyfriend had one wife and three girlfriends, all of whom cheated on him. He is hard to reach emotionally sometimes and I think he is guarded due to these past experiences. I have told him I am not them. I was thinking. Does it seem odd ...
A. 18 December 2015: It is odd and a potential red flag.
It suggests to me that either he is drawn to troubled women or, FAR MORE LIKELY, scapegoats women for all of his failures. Accusing them of some wrong doing allows him to avoid looking at his own.
Did you... (read in full...)
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