I'm having a hard time getting over her
Q. I've posted about this female in questions a few times before. Basically I'm having a really hard time getting over her and I'm questioning my sanity and what else I can do to get over how I'm feeling. To cut a long story short, a FWB that didn't ...
A. 23 November 2016: Maybe the simple truth is that you fell for her because you felt safe to do so.
She reminded you every so often so that this was to be casual you weren't left wondering if her continued affection and attention meant she was falling hard for you ... (read in full...)
My co worker hung up even though she was expecting a call from me.
Q. One of my co-workers, lets call her lady A, wanted another co-work's number, lets call her lady B, who works the same shift as me,.She wants me to ask lady B about a set light that she has.I have Lady's B number so Lady A gave me her number to ...
A. 21 November 2016: Then either she's had technical difficulties, a minor personal emergency, or she's just weird.
Thanks for the update.
... (read in full...)
My co worker hung up even though she was expecting a call from me.
Q. One of my co-workers, lets call her lady A, wanted another co-work's number, lets call her lady B, who works the same shift as me,.She wants me to ask lady B about a set light that she has.I have Lady's B number so Lady A gave me her number to ...
A. 20 November 2016: I'm inclined to agree, though I'm leaning toward 'sensitive and emotional' as the more likely scenario.
What you should have done was leave a detailed message for Lady B which included the contact information for Lady A and the reason she want... (read in full...)
How do I get this girl back?
Q. Dear All, First time writer and I'm really needing some desperate help. My story. About 6 years ago I met a girl. We went out and nothing ever come of it. I guess I wasn't really in that place at that time. But she held a candle for me...
A. 20 November 2016: You've heard the old saying about the hard times showing us what we're made of. Well, this girl has seen what you're made of and she's wisely decided to take a pass.
Love is not being nice to someone when things are going your way, and it doesn't ... (read in full...)
I'm having a hard time getting over her
Q. I've posted about this female in questions a few times before. Basically I'm having a really hard time getting over her and I'm questioning my sanity and what else I can do to get over how I'm feeling. To cut a long story short, a FWB that didn't ...
A. 20 November 2016: Instead of trying to quit her cold turkey and condemning yourself when you don't, take control of your thoughts and actions by giving yourself permission to indulge at certain times.
For example, if you have errands to run or chores to do, you ... (read in full...)
Would it be rude to not get back to a co-worker? She wants to sell me insurance!
Q. 2 weeks ago,one of my co-workers that I’m cool with ,approched me and asked when I’m free.I said I was not sure and ask why she was asking.She proceeded to tell me that she needs help with something she is starting but she doesn’t want to discuss ...
A. 15 November 2016: I agree with the others. People like this ignore hints. They rely on others being too polite to stand their ground so you're going to have to be direct. Polite, but firm.
I know you don't want to betray a confidence, but people should not give you... (read in full...)
Why won't my friend give me a chance?
Q. Hi I am a 52 year old man who has been in love with a female friend for 20 yrs I have helped her through many rough times. she does know how I feel but says she doesn't know why she won't give me a chance I know I would make her and her Childrens ...
A. 11 November 2016: Like the others have pointed out, you can't convince her to be romantically attracted to you any more than you can use logic to get someone to like chocolate ice cream or the colour green. They either like it or they don't and she doesn't. Not in ... (read in full...)
Would you leave your spouse if you thought they were cheating, or would you wait for evidence or proof?
Q. Would you leave your husband if you thought he was cheating on you? Is that enough? Or would you need to obtain evidence/proof before leaving him? ...
A. 10 November 2016: I agree with Honeypie.
... (read in full...)
Should I accept that my ex is going off for 3 days with her ex and their daughter or say something about it?
Q. have been dating and being in a serious relationship with a woman since 2010 and she has just told me that during the Christmas she will be going on holiday to a cabine for 3 daysa with her ex husband and their 15 years daughter who lives with her ...
A. 5 November 2016: I think your misgivings are understandable and it's a bit weird that she'd be going off, practically alone, with her ex. Whatever age her daughter is, it's not right to pretend, even for a short while, that they're back together.
It's not appr... (read in full...)
Would it be rude to not get back to a co-worker? She wants to sell me insurance!
Q. 2 weeks ago,one of my co-workers that I’m cool with ,approched me and asked when I’m free.I said I was not sure and ask why she was asking.She proceeded to tell me that she needs help with something she is starting but she doesn’t want to discuss ...
A. 5 November 2016: You're very welcome.
You're not rude for not getting back to her, but if she has any sense (and only a little since she's trying to peddle life insurance to friends/co-workers) she'll take it as a hint and leave it alone.
Don't feel ob... (read in full...)
Would it be rude to not get back to a co-worker? She wants to sell me insurance!
Q. 2 weeks ago,one of my co-workers that I’m cool with ,approched me and asked when I’m free.I said I was not sure and ask why she was asking.She proceeded to tell me that she needs help with something she is starting but she doesn’t want to discuss ...
A. 5 November 2016: Just tell her this all sounds like some sales pitch and you're not up for secret meetings. She can tell you whatever it is over the phone. After that don't follow up. You can be upbeat but totally unapologetic. She's the one bothering you, not then ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him I'm thinking of changing jobs?
Q. Dear Aunts/Unclesr Cutting a long story short. I met a guy at work. He started flirting. It was a while before I noticed him. I started flirting back then he went cold. I think because I was coming on to him too quickly as I was starting to fanc...
A. 2 November 2016: 41-50? Really?
He's not interested and learning that you're changing jobs is not going to make him interested. He engaged in what he thought was harmless fun and expected you to intuit his intentions. Unfortunately, like many people, you ... (read in full...)
We had planned to go to a party but my behaviour seems to have scared him off!
Q. i was a fat awkward teenager, and was new to a school where i got bullied by a guy and girl , a lot. But i moved on and let things go.Recently after 10 years the guy got back in touch with me.Initially i did not feel like talking to him, because i ...
A. 31 October 2016: No, I don't think he will be friends with you after this. If the man has any class, any self respect at all, you will never hear from him again.
Your behaviour was appalling. It isn't a simple case of pissing him off. It's that your actions ... (read in full...)
I don’t feel romantic love for him any longer but he doesn’t seem to listen to the potential for a great friendship. What do I do?
Q. A month or so ago I wrote about having a great connection with a man who was 57 and older than me. I thank all the aunts and uncles again for all the wonderful advice. I sat back and thought everything through and I got to know him better. ...
A. 27 October 2016: He WANTS you to feel terrible! That is the whole point of what he's doing!
He's not trying to impress you, but to guilt you into giving him what he wants. He's a soul sucking vampire, not a decent man who has been dealt an unfair hand by a cruel ... (read in full...)
BF got caught basically cheating, he hasn't reached out?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together two years. We have had trust issues because he got a girls number on a trip, and texted her flirting throughout and I found out about it. He said he made a dumb mistake and blah blah blah if I found out about ...
A. 27 October 2016: You already know he has no remorse so no surprise there. I suspect that he's avoiding you out of shame, which is not to be confused with guilt. Shame is because he lost face by getting caught doing the wrong thing, and that he is now seen by others ... (read in full...)
What Is wrong with my friend of 30 years? How can I tell him to lose my number and block him from my internet page?
Q. Dear Cupid,I have come in contact with an ex-flame who makes me smile from ear to ear we have been knowing one other for 30 years. He is 47 and I just turned 45 we both have children and they are grown and on their own.So now he and I are single w...
A. 23 October 2016: Ghost him. Say nothing and just block and delete him. That's one option.
The other is to tell him what you've just told us, but as a statement not a question. You definitely don't need his opinion or approval to make choices for yourself... (read in full...)
I can't get my unemployed ex boyfriend out of my house
Q. I've been in a relationship for 6 months, been thru a lot but really don't want a relationship anymore period. The issue is I haven't been able to get him out. What do I have to do? He has no job now after I threw him out and stuck in my area for...
A. 23 October 2016: As long as he believes you won't put him out on the street, OP, he'll have you over a barrel. He has the freedom to screw up job opportunities, get drunk and get into trouble.
Time to disillusion him. Next time he screws up-don't even answer t... (read in full...)
Bad time, not interested or wasting my time
Q. Hi all need your urgent help and opinions. I April I a guy was introduced to me at my aunties birthday. he has worked with her in the past and was around my age. he seemed nice. I text him to say thank you for coming as is normal in my fami...
A. 22 October 2016: With all that going on (assuming it's true) then I would give him all the space he wants and I would not contact him again. If you don't hear from him for two weeks, consider it over. Even if he called after that, too late. Don't set yourself up ... (read in full...)
I can't get my unemployed ex boyfriend out of my house
Q. I've been in a relationship for 6 months, been thru a lot but really don't want a relationship anymore period. The issue is I haven't been able to get him out. What do I have to do? He has no job now after I threw him out and stuck in my area for...
A. 22 October 2016: Further to that, I would gather up anything valuable in the meantime, such as official documents, photos coin collections etc and hide them somewhere he can't get to them.
This may be paranoid of me, but I would hate for him to use what time he ... (read in full...)
My friend found my girlfriend on a dating site
Q. I have been in an 18 month relationship with an extremely insecure girl who has been controlling, needy, and jealous of my past. I have often been aggressively accused of things that just dont exist. In spite of this difficulty, I have rode the ...
A. 22 October 2016: If you can't get an honest answer then stop asking the question. She's been caught. What else is there for her to say?
Even without this secret dating profile, she's already given you plenty of reasons to show her the door. You don't need anything... (read in full...)
Why is my dad so hard on me?
Q. Hello :) Recently I moved to another country to take up a different course for university. And well my parents left 2 weeks after my course started and well the first week my dad called me everyday and as time went by I had a lot of work and I wa...
A. 22 October 2016: This is the third question you've submitted about your father. I don't know if you're listening to any of the good advice you've already received.
Next time he asks why you don't call him, or call more often, tell him what you've just told us.... (read in full...)
Why does he greet me this way when we arent friends....?
Q. Dear Aunts, I am sorry for the long post but it gets easier... I promise.. Me and a guy were good friends for a year. Well, he became my friend by just "Randomly" thinking up and adding my number to his whatsapp list. He texted me and ...
A. 22 October 2016: No, the question is why would you add and befriend someone who thought up your number and added you? And why would you continue to speak to or think about some weirdo who behaved the way he did?
I think you should change your phone number entirely... (read in full...)
My girlfriend hooked up with my cousin years ago
Q. My girlfriend and I've been dating for a few months, I'm bothered that I have sex with the same girl my cousin had. I know everyone has a past but he's my family member, it's weird! She told me she had sex with him years ago in college. My cous...
A. 22 October 2016: I can appreciate where you're coming from. It was years ago, but it wasn't a relationship. They had a one night stand so for you to bring into the family one of your cousin's old hook ups is a bit...I don't know...yucky.
I'm not sure what you... (read in full...)
I don’t feel romantic love for him any longer but he doesn’t seem to listen to the potential for a great friendship. What do I do?
Q. A month or so ago I wrote about having a great connection with a man who was 57 and older than me. I thank all the aunts and uncles again for all the wonderful advice. I sat back and thought everything through and I got to know him better. ...
A. 20 October 2016: There is ZERO potential for a friendship here, great or otherwise because friendship is far less than this man wants. It's like trying to convince someone to start liking banana splits or tofu, just because YOU like them. The man is lonely and de... (read in full...)
Is there a code to rings on her finger?
Q. What is the meaning of rings on a woman’s hand. Does a ring on the right ring finger show a signal single status for a woman? Does a ring on the right ring finger of a woman show an openness to pursuing a romantic relationship? if a girl does not ...
A. 17 October 2016: To certain women it could mean something, but to the VAST MAJORITY of women it means absolutely nothing except that that particular ring fit or looked best on that particular finger.
Besides the wedding band or engagement ring on the ring finger o... (read in full...)
Can this ever work after shock test result?
Q. Advice on risk-taking and dishonesty.. ----- A couple (A and B) meet around a year ago through a dating app. They clicked instantly, went for dinner the following night and slept with each other. A had had a test a few weeks before they met...
A. 16 October 2016: You've changed things around somewhat. In your October 3rd submission you said Person A had the STD, but in this one you say it was Person B.
In any event neither party is in a position to point fingers at the other.
Persons A and B are unrema... (read in full...)
How could he have issues with my weight and yet have such mind blowing sex with me?
Q. I'm looking for some perspective on a recent situation I experienced that has left me a bit confused. I dated a guy for about 5-6 months. During the entire relationship, we got alone EXCEEDINGLY well. I have never dated anyone as attentive or ten...
A. 16 October 2016: It's quite possible that he was a bit embarrassed by your weight. When you're alone, he can enjoy your company, but out in public he's worried what others are thinking. That's on him though.
It's a shame this has happened, but now you don't ha... (read in full...)
Is lingerie an appropriate birthday gift for my girlfriend?
Q. we've been dating for 6 months. we're really close and intimate. Were both 23. We had sex for the first time a few nights ago. She having a birthday party coming up im thinking about giving lingerie for her birthday. I'm wanting something on the c...
A. 16 October 2016: I recommend you steer clear of lingerie for a number of reasons. Women are very picky about their under garments and often times all this frilly fancy stuff is just not comfortable or practical. And you'd have to know her size and she might not be ... (read in full...)
Should I give up on my ex/ maybe boyfriend and go on the date? Does that make me a cheater?Or should I work things out with him?
Q. I am unsure of how to proceed. My ex (I guess) broke up with me back in September because I waned him to spend more time doing things with me because all he did was play video games. I wanted to go out and do things. After a lot of fighting h...
A. 16 October 2016: Your EX boyfriend, I mean. ... (read in full...)
My friend is accusing me of being a shitty friend because I like the guy she was cheating on her boyfriend with!
Q. This is a very complex situation, so please bare with me as this story might be a little long-winded. In August, my friend Leslie started hanging out with this guy, Ian, she met through Tinder. They were talking to each other off-and-on for n...
A. 16 October 2016: This situation isn't complex at all. It's very straight forward. All three of you have done the wrong thing and each of you is using the others' culpability to mitigate your own.
Leslie is cheating on her boyfriend and enlists you as her wing wom... (read in full...)
Should I give up on my ex/ maybe boyfriend and go on the date? Does that make me a cheater?Or should I work things out with him?
Q. I am unsure of how to proceed. My ex (I guess) broke up with me back in September because I waned him to spend more time doing things with me because all he did was play video games. I wanted to go out and do things. After a lot of fighting h...
A. 16 October 2016: You're not a cheater. You aren't in a relationship with your boyfriend. He said so himself when he said 'I don't know'.
All he wants to do is play video games anyway, so that's not dating. Cut this guy loose, stop explaining and defendin... (read in full...)
Is he living out a porn fantasy?
Q. I'm recently divorced. My ex-husband was my first and only partner until now. Our sex life was always kind of vanilla to tell the truth and his sexual drive was never equal to mine. Anyway, I'm dating a younger man (he's 27). We just started having ...
A. 15 October 2016: I'd say this is most definitely encouraged by porn if not inspired by it.
There seems to be an element of domination, or claiming territory (which does not mean the guy who likes doing it is making a life long commitment or anything). Whatever... (read in full...)
Is it wrong of me to be upset with the way my boyfriend treated me?
Q. Hello, I would like to seek your opinion on the following situation and please let me know if I over reacted. My plane had just landed home from a trip to visit my boyfriend. We had a wonderful visit and he couldn't bear to see me leave. We had plan...
A. 15 October 2016: Ridiculous was exactly what I was thinking, as well.
I'm not going to repeat everything Aiden said, because he's already said it perfectly, but I will add that it's more than a little rude to ask someone-ANYONE-why they didn't answer immediat... (read in full...)
My Girlfriend Turned Rude and Immoral, Should I Dump Her?
Q. When we started going out I thought she was a nice girl, she has loads of friends, is liberal, goes to rights protests and that sort of thing. Was also very happy and smiley. However I'm repulsed by her recently. For example she grew up in a bet...
A. 12 October 2016: Yep. I think you should dump her.
She'll likely grow up EVENTUALLY but there are no guarantees and why put yourself through it.
Be honest about your reasons, and perhaps consider reporting her offensive posts to Facebook.
For future refe... (read in full...)
Should I send my ex boyfriend a Christmas card with a small gift?
Q. I have been single for about 4 months now after coming out of a 3 year relationship, I have recently been thinking of him again the relationship ended on bad terms. Its coming up to christmas and it will be weird without him should i send him a ...
A. 12 October 2016: As you can see, OP, everyone here gets the sense that there would be more to this Christmas gift than a simple, so strings attached overture of friendship. And if we're thinking it, you can bet he will be as well.
Four months may seem a long tim... (read in full...)
Am I out of line for asking my b/f to change around his child support situation with his ex?
Q. hello ive been dating my bf for a year now. He is 51 I am 47. He has an ex and three children. I have two children . We live seperatly. He and his ex do not follow the child support schedule its been now 6 years that they have not been together ...
A. 12 October 2016: I think you should stay out of his finances and whatever arrangements, however loose, he has with his ex.
Caring about their children is great, but it's not an invitation to poke around their business. ... (read in full...)
I love him but I hate him. Where do I go from here? Its officially over but I still have feelings
Q. I don't know where to start but Ive lost so much over the past year and the losses still keep coming. I'm 38, two sons (18 and 15) and divorced for a little over a year. My sons are great...my oldest is a freshman in college out of state and my ...
A. 11 October 2016: What sickens me about this whole, excessively long, revolting post is not your adultery (or that I actually took the time to read it). It's that after all this you want him back AND you want to have a baby with him.
Your affairs were understa... (read in full...)
Am I being mistreated? Is this emotional abuse?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for 2 years. I don’t know if this is emotional abuse or if there is something I can do to fix the problem. This morning I had gone to make a shake for him and when I poured the material inside ...
A. 11 October 2016: Yes, this is most definitely abuse. You don't need to tell us this has happened many, many times already because, I'm sure, every on of us gleaned that from your reaction to the first event you described.
Think of sadistic serial killers who enjo... (read in full...)
Is he into the occult? Are black rings significant?
Q. Dear Aunts I made friends with a guy through facebook. We started chatting , all friendly tho , then I was going through his Facebook likes and things. I saw he liked a lot of Facebook pages such as Free masonry , Mystic Order, Wiccan rit...
A. 11 October 2016: Agreed, re black rings/swingers. This is a recent thing that some are hoping will become the norm. I've known swingers as well, and none of them wore special rings or had special handshakes or any other codes or colours.
... (read in full...)
Is he into the occult? Are black rings significant?
Q. Dear Aunts I made friends with a guy through facebook. We started chatting , all friendly tho , then I was going through his Facebook likes and things. I saw he liked a lot of Facebook pages such as Free masonry , Mystic Order, Wiccan rit...
A. 10 October 2016: From what I've read the 'asexuality' is only if the black rings are worn on the middle finger. Otherwise, it could suggest an involvement in the swinger lifestyle.
It would be more consistent with dabbling in pagan beliefs, as black rings ha... (read in full...)
Did I scare him off ? ?
Q. Dear Aunts please advise me. I met a guy at a cafe. Everytime I go in he stared at me. I started to fancy him too and we would stare and smile at each other. I broke the ice and we exchanged numbers. I hinted going out on a light date but he b...
A. 9 October 2016: Yep. What Cindy said. ... (read in full...)
Her ex' is hurting and I want to help but...
Q. My girlfriend (age:30) was married for 6 years to some guy she said cheated on her 4 times in 3 years. So she divorced him, he moved out the house, and that's when she met me(age:26) Some months later, she gets a call from a random number, it's her ...
A. 9 October 2016: His preoccupation with self satisfaction is not a medical condition that merits sympathy and over which he has no control. His urges were not so insatiable that he tried to have sex with women right in front of his wife, or his boss, his neighb... (read in full...)
How do I raise this issue with my husband? So that my husband will raise the issue with the girl's mother?
Q. Hi, id just like some advice regarding children as no matter what choice i make i fear im going to upset someone. my husband and i have a son. My husband also still sees his step daughter from his relationship before me. He sees her two Saturday...
A. 6 October 2016: Again, without knowing the children's ages it's difficult to be more helpful, but I agree that you're over thinking this and worrying a little too much.
If your husband is going to be the girl's father, then act as though he is. When the kids are... (read in full...)
How do I raise this issue with my husband? So that my husband will raise the issue with the girl's mother?
Q. Hi, id just like some advice regarding children as no matter what choice i make i fear im going to upset someone. my husband and i have a son. My husband also still sees his step daughter from his relationship before me. He sees her two Saturday...
A. 6 October 2016: I agree. This is very difficult to answer without knowing both children's ages, nor the significance of 'in 6 months' time'. What's going to happen in 6 months? A growth spurt?
One thing I will say is it not right to tell your son before telling ... (read in full...)
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