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Wants a brood mare? Should I meet him? Been talking to him online but some of his questions are a concern.

Tagged as: Big Questions, Friends, Online dating, Pregnancy, Sex, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 July 2016) 10 Answers - (Newest, 18 July 2016)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I know this sounds silly however I have been talking to this guy online.

I told him I would meet him as a friend. He has been asking some off questions like if I will be fertile when we have planned to meet.

He has asked several times and also what I would do if I got pregnant. Would a guy really be trying to intentionally get someone pregnant?

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A female reader, deirdre Ireland +, writes (18 July 2016):

Really?? It looks clear that he is not normal, block him and move on.

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A female reader, miss frank United Kingdom +, writes (15 July 2016):

Really? You are how old and you are not getting this? Do not meet this man, and indeed don't engage in further contact at all. Hes an utter nutcase, and you seem very very naive and at risk.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (15 July 2016):

Ciar agony auntDo NOT meet this guy. He isn't looking for women friends. No matter what you say, as long as you communicate with him he'll see it as a foot in the door.

He's got a fetish or a particular agenda. Block and delete him.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2016):

Can't believe there is confusion over such clearly red-flag and alarm ringing behavior.

Seriously, why do you need or want a friend like this? Don't meet this person; you owe him nothing. Block him, be safe and listen to that voice of concern you already have.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2016):

Silly? Its crazy not silly t hat you even think and write about this guy after he asked you about fertility. Why to not just put him in a crazy bucket and forget the same second??

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2016):

just dont show up to meet this guy.

he is clearly heading off on a course you dont want.

no one else would meet him from here so avoid the two headed monster!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2016):

DO NOT MEET THIS MAN!!!

I cannot stress enough DO NOT MEET HIM! Seriously, at the ver least he is odd and the worst case is he is intent on having sex and has some fantasy about impregnating a woman. It's a risk anyone takes meeting someone off the Internet, but this man is ignoring your remarks about being friends and is asking about your fertility. There's no other way to say it - you could be raped. No one goes out thinking it will happen to them but this man is seriously off, and it's scary.

You block him immediately - if he is on your Facebook block him before he can access who your family are (he could be seriously weird and start trying to contact them); block his number from your phone, make your twitter/instagram/snapchat/insert any social media you have private and if you've already added him to any of those then block him.

You could send one final message, perhaps saying something like 'I don't feel anything romantic could exist between us, so I think it's best you spend your time talking to someone who does see you in that way. Best of luck.' Do not wait for a reply but block instantly - otherwise he could draw you into a conversation.

DO NOT GO AND MEET A STRANGER WHO IGNORES YOUR WISHES TO JUST BE FRIENDS AND CLEARLY WANTS TO HAVE SEX. Please don't do it.

I really do advocate meeting people in real life, meet them through friends or start up some hobbies and join things in your area where you could meet like minded people.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (15 July 2016):

CindyCares agony aunt Maybe he would, ... but that stranger won't be you anyway, right ?

I mean, don't tell me that you seriously consider meeting him ! You tell him that you'll meet him " as a friend "... and he , a perfect stranger, asks several times informations about your cycle and fertility ?!

These would be rather pushy, invasive questions even from an actual platonic male friend- but how does this unknown guy figures it's any of his business ?? - considering too that you have told him you would be meeting him as a friend, so no romantic / sexual undertones.

He sounds like mentally deranged, or , best case scenario, a very creepy wanker with whoknowswhat weird fantasies.

Better safe than sorry. Men aren't really so few and far between that you have to scrape the very bottom of the dating barrel .

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2016):

If you told him you would meet him as a friend then there will be no sex.

He either

A) Doesn't understand that friends means no sex

B) Doesn't care that you don't want sex

C) Thinks you're trying to play hard to get/presenting a challenge

D) Is so arrogant that he thinks you'll change your mind about no sex

He may very well want to get you pregnant to keep you. Or at least to keep the lady he THINKS he knows and wants. So far, he only knows the you he met online. Even if you did date, there would BE no dating/affection/wooing. There WOULD be sex, jealousy, sex, possessiveness, sex, isolation, sex, resentment, sex, criticism, sex...

He's in a fantasy world.

PLEASE message him with:

I WILL NOT be meeting you. I am BLOCKING you from communication. ALL attempts at communication will be recorded and REPORTED.

Then DO IT! No more explanation or apology needed.

-been there, wish I'd followed that advice

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (15 July 2016):

Honeypie agony auntBIG red alarm bells are going on here.

WHY on Earth are you even considering this? How is your fertility ANY of his business? HE is a STRANGER.

And yes, there are guys out there who like to father offspring and then leave it to the mothers to raise them and take care of them.

Personally and totally honest? I think you are nuts for even considering meeting him.

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