Is our friendship over or am I just being paranoid?
Q. I have a friendship dilemma and don't know what to do for the best on it. I'll explain, basically I'm friends with a female at work, she's kind natured and tries to make the time for me when she isn't busy or hasn't got things on. The other day she ...
A. 5 June 2016: I recommend that you not burden her with this. Especially when it's something you can't control and don't even know for certain it will happen.
All that will come of such a discussion is your friendship will become a chore, something she has to w... (read in full...)
Drunken night woke up in bed with former FWB. Do I tell my boyfriend? I don't know what happened!
Q. Jack is a guy on my course who I used to have a little crush on, basically at the start of the year we slept with each other a few times but then he stopped talking to me and left me a little upset. After this I met a guy called Tom who I really ...
A. 2 June 2016: That's not to suggest you're a victim, because you aren't.... (read in full...)
Drunken night woke up in bed with former FWB. Do I tell my boyfriend? I don't know what happened!
Q. Jack is a guy on my course who I used to have a little crush on, basically at the start of the year we slept with each other a few times but then he stopped talking to me and left me a little upset. After this I met a guy called Tom who I really ...
A. 2 June 2016: Say nothing.
If Tom finds out on his own act like it's news to you, which isn't far from the truth.
I'm not overly sympathetic to problems that arise after too much drinking, it's just so low class and sloppy. However, in this case, it's possi... (read in full...)
I'm questioning the relationship because my boyfriend often blows me off for his friend
Q. Hi, I have been dating my current boyfriend for about 9 months. I really like him when we are alone, I feel like we see things similarly, we have similar opinions about things, we have the same taste in things, similar humor and sometimes he...
A. 2 June 2016: I agree with Honeypie. ... (read in full...)
We me on an online site. Should I assume we are still in a relationship?
Q. Dear Auntz. Ive fallen inlove so fast within a period of a month with a guy 9 years older than me from a dating site. He asked me to help him do a website for him because i told him my brother does that so at fast my brother wanted to do it for f...
A. 29 May 2016: You were never in a relationship with this man so there is no reason to officially dump him and you'd look a bit silly doing so.
Even if you were, it's been two weeks since you've heard from him so you should assume it's over.
... (read in full...)
At what age, of a particular person who has never dated, are others likely to form an opinion that the particular person is gay?
Q. I've heard a lot of people say that people close to you often guess your sexuality before you actually come out. That has got me wondering. I'm 26, I have never dated, don't talk about who I'm attracted to and have never so much as held someone'...
A. 26 May 2016: I wouldn't make that assumption about anyone at any age. As you've pointed out there are a variety of reasons why one wouldn't openly declare a romantic interest.
Growing up, I was very similar. I was a very shy, private person and such a declarat... (read in full...)
It's a secret I've not told my long term friend. How do I reveal my autism to her?
Q. I've been friends with a girl from high school for many years and I have a secret I haven't told her about me. That I have autism and I can't find the right words to say or explain it to her, and as I've autism my words get cross wired and some...
A. 26 May 2016: This isn't something you're obliged to declare any more than you obliged to declare an allergy to carrots.
And the bigger the deal you make of this, the more you treat it like a dark, dirty secret you've been withholding, the more likely she is t... (read in full...)
He ignores me and treats me like I don't exist ever since we had a one night stand. How can I better handle this rejection?
Q. Hi there, I'm married with 10 childrens and had an affair with a man that has 4 Children. We go to the same church and that's where everything happened. He smiled at me all the time and then it ended up into a one night stand we met up and ha...
A. 26 May 2016: It could be that the man feels some shame and wants to distance himself from his indiscretion by distancing himself from you. You can't cajole or convince him to do otherwise.
He may succumb to the same temptation again (with you or someone ... (read in full...)
Is it time to say 'NO,' (with no guilt), to E and mean it? Do children have to attend parties put on by overbearing parents?
Q. There is this lady "E" who is driving me nuts! Her kids (boy and girl twins with the SAME gender neutral name,let's say J Lee and J Leigh) are turning 10 next month and she drove to our house to drop off an invitation and itinerary. Yes. An itine...
A. 20 May 2016: What exactly do you have to lose by being totally honest with E about her behaviour?
Either she'll be upset and you and your child will be uninvited or she might actually take it to heart and tone it down. This is a win/win.
I would not force ... (read in full...)
My ex wants to visit my new Bf for alleged dental work. Is this a good idea? Am I overthinking potential problems here?
Q. I started seeing someone recently We met in the old fashioned way, no internet involved ;) . We are still in the getting to know each other phase and I'm sure we'll move to the next level soon. I really like the fact that we're are not rushing ...
A. 19 May 2016: No, your ex should not visit your new boyfriend for dental work. Weird, reeks of an agenda, potential problems.
Please instruct him to find his own. Don't do this for him, it's totally inappropriate. You're not his secretary or his personal... (read in full...)
How should I respond to his hurtful comments during a argument?
Q. Hi, Just wondering if any body has had a partner who would often say hurtful comments during an argument and if so what did you do? My fiance often says things like he doesn't love me, can't see a future with me, doesn't want a child with me...
A. 19 May 2016: The arguments I've been in or observed have mostly been accusations about everyday grievances, along the lines of 'You always/never say/do this or that'. Occasionally name calling and a few curses, but nothing like what you're describing.
Eithe... (read in full...)
He says titles are irrelevant. Red flag?
Q. I’ve been dating someone from online for 1.5 months. Yesterday (after a few drinks on his end) he asked me why I like him. I thought that was an awkward question to answer and that it was weird he insisted to know. But then he said “I can’t tell ...
A. 17 May 2016: A few red and yellow flags here.
For one thing I think this guy is moving way too quickly. A month and a half in and he already 'shares everything' with you. He expects you to do the same and has brought that imbalance to your attention.
For ... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to report him for his inappropriate behaviour?
Q. I work in a male dominated industry. There are a number of subcontractors we work with on a regular basis. Last week one of our subcontractors sent a couple of guys out to work on a project. I'm familiar with them all as they come several times a ...
A. 16 May 2016: You did nothing wrong.
When you flex a muscle you seldom use, it can be uncomfortable for days afterward. Same thing applies here.
What you can do is think of a way to deal with these kinds of boundary violations in a way that you get your poi... (read in full...)
Should I speak to my Aunt beforehand about re-establishing contact with my mother? I do not want my sons to see, hear or experience any nastiness over any reunion
Q. When I was 22 I started dating a friend of my fathers he was 18 years older then me and my parents didn't accept our relationship. They thought he "groomed" me and that he was using me for sex. Things got really bad between us and they told me...
A. 16 May 2016: I recommend, when you're ready, that you send an email directly to your mum. Facebook email seems the most logical place to start.
Keep the message friendly/formal. Not cold, but not too cozy this early either. Start afresh by keeping everythi... (read in full...)
What’s the best response to a break up message?
Q. If you are in a long term, committed relationship with a man, and he decides to break up with you [either because he's found someone else, or has just tired of you, or whatever his reason], in your experience, what is the best way for the woman to ...
A. 11 May 2016: In my experience and observation the least response seems to leave biggest impression.
Receiving the news in a calm, matter of fact way, with no debate or explanation is best, in my opinion. All that time spent contemplating breaking up with som... (read in full...)
Why did my boyfriend tell me he was with his mom all day when he actually went out without her?
Q. Hello. I need your help in figuring out my boyfriend's actions today. Here is what happened. I texted him this morning at around 11. I said "good morning" to him like usual. But there was no reply. Usually he replies pretty quickly. I th...
A. 11 May 2016: You demand immediate answers to your calls and texts, or a damn good explanation why. You drive by his house to check his alibi and when he isn't there, you camp out across the street to spy on him. You take note of his comings and goings and become ... (read in full...)
My Landlord's Children Are Rude To Me - How To Deal With This?
Q. I've been living as a lodger for the past couple of months. I knew the landlord prior to moving in as I rented from him before. It's a good place but two of his kids (who are about 10 I think) are very rude to me and I can continually loud...
A. 10 May 2016: Once again, I have to agree with Honeypie.
I would definitely NOT say anything until you've already found another place, signed on the dotted line and secured your valuables.
Their children are extremely rude, and frankly so are the parents ... (read in full...)
A week after our second date she has sex with someone then texts me making small talk unaware that I know about it. What does she want?
Q. I recently went out with a girl whom we share mutual friends. I kissed her goodnight and later on she texted me what a pleasant time she had. The next day I texted her something about wanting to kiss her again before some party we were both invited ...
A. 7 May 2016: I hadn't noticed your age when I read this so I assumed this woman was late teens/early twenties.
If she's the same age as you she is socially and emotionally under developed. She likes attention but doesn't want to be tied down to one person. ... (read in full...)
Recently he broke up with me. Should I contact him after our exams are over, or just leave him alone?
Q. The guy ive been seeing for a couple of months suddenly ended things with me. We had been seeing each other for three months and everything was going well as far as i could tell. We're at university so had spent three weeks apart when we went hom...
A. 7 May 2016: Just leave him alone. He says he doesn't want to pursue anything further and he shouldn't have to repeat or explain it.
Contacting him would make you look desperate.
Let him go. ... (read in full...)
How would my old high school teacher interpret this letter?
Q. Does this letter to a teacher sound good? Does it seem too touchy or weird? How would it make my old teacher feel? Dear [Name of Teacher], Looking back, my impression of you was that you were very thoughtful. Your demeanor was both welcome and supp...
A. 6 May 2016: The letter isn't too touchy or weird, though I would recommend a few minor changes.
1. Focus on your experience in her classroom and not on her actions (however positive they may have been). The latter sounds a bit like a report card.
2. Firs... (read in full...)
Am I missing the point, or is he being over dramatic?
Q. Im not sure what I am asking, but I guess Im wondering if this is acceptable behaviour or not. When I asked my boyfriend today if he could do me a favour, he replied not right now. I said it needed to be done right away, and he just said he cou...
A. 6 May 2016: You've heard the saying 'the best defense is a good offense'? Well, your boyfriend's behaviour is s classic example. 'Ignore what I do and focus only on how I feel' is the message. ... (read in full...)
Why does he want this all of a sudden!
Q. Hi aunts. Just a quick question. I'm in a very loving sexual relationship with my fella who I'm planning on living with later in the year. Everything is great and when we aren't together we message loads which I love. Our messages are loving ...
A. 27 April 2016: It came from porn. Either he's watching it or he's listening to someone who does (assume the former).
I second BrownWolf's response. ... (read in full...)
Should I tell each FWB about the others?
Q. When you sleep with multiple fwbs do you tell them all about each other? I've heard ppl say of course you should let them all know about each other, but that just seems so awkward to me. And if it's fwb or F buddies then ppl automatically assume ...
A. 27 April 2016: How many FWBs are we talking about here?
You can honest in that you have them, without getting into exact names and numbers. That way you satisfy the need for honesty without violating yours or anyone else's privacy. ... (read in full...)
I was friends with her but cut contact due to how she was acting, now she’s tried adding me back. Any advice?
Q. This is about a friendship problem. I was friends with a great person who helped me loads and I enjoyed talking to them. However, over time they became more moody, I never knew where I stood with them and found it hard to interact with them due to ...
A. 27 April 2016: If you've already been honest with this friend and she seems to feel bad about it then I'd say she got the message and another discussion is premature.
You could accept her friend request and just leave it alone until she contacts you. If and w... (read in full...)
Could a man lose interest in a sex buddy as fast as a few weeks?
Q. There's this guy who I have started having sex with. (I told him that I wasn't looking for a relationship. He's fine with that.) So we started to have sex and he was my first time. A couple times he has gone a two weeks without needing to see m...
A. 21 April 2016: Contrary to popular myth, men are not sex vending machines. They don't have voracious sexual appetites that must be satisfied every 2 days.
He contacts you, or responds to you as he feels the urge, and if he's being satisfied elsewhere also, hi... (read in full...)
He’s stood me up not once, not twice, but three times! Is he just unlucky or is he married?
Q. Ok I'm in a little shock right now. I've been stood up not once not twice but three times. I know many will say why would talk to someone who did this to you. Well he was so charming. He would say how beautiful caring I was then ask me out then at ...
A. 21 April 2016: He never should have been given a third chance. He called the first time, but to say nothing until after the fact the second time.
I don't know if he's married or not. He could be, but more importantly, he apparently doesn't think you importan... (read in full...)
I like this guy. But should I heed my brother's concerns about this guy?
Q. I met a guy on tinder. It turns out that my brother has known him for 7 years. My brother told me he didn't see us as a couple but said that he's a good guy. I'd like to add that my brother is a recovering alcoholic himself and has been sober for 2 ...
A. 21 April 2016: Heed your brother's warning.
Problems with anger or alcohol on their own are a big red flag, but combined and a history of trouble with women doesn't bode well.
It's difficult to imagine him at his worst while he's on his best behaviour, but r... (read in full...)
Could a man lose interest in a sex buddy as fast as a few weeks?
Q. There's this guy who I have started having sex with. (I told him that I wasn't looking for a relationship. He's fine with that.) So we started to have sex and he was my first time. A couple times he has gone a two weeks without needing to see m...
A. 21 April 2016: This is what 'not a relationship' looks like.
You're an acquaintance with benefits, emphasis on the latter. Acquaintances keep in touch infrequently and occupy a lower tier in the social hierarchy. You told him from the beginning that this was... (read in full...)
Our manager has threatened to fire us if we don't close our Facebook group
Q. Okay, so where i work we all have a facebook ‘group chat’ in this group chat there is over 50 of us in this group so basically nearly everyone from work. We use this chat on facebook to organise nights out i work in a casino and the casino is a 24hr ...
A. 18 April 2016: Short answer: no, he cannot. However, he might be assuming a responsibility (and therefore control) if the group name includes the name of your casino. For example if your company name is 'Sunshine Casino' and your Facebook page is 'Sunshine ... (read in full...)
Do you think his response to the card I sent indicate that he is interested in me?
Q. Hello, I told a guy on his birthday like this:" that you special and that God created you and sent you as a gift to all who know you . On your birthday, I want to thank you that you have been able to change things in me that no one else could" ...
A. 14 April 2016: I have to agree. He's either not interested or just not as interested as you clearly are.
The message was a bit over the top in my opinion which may have made him uncomfortable. If someone said all that to me I'd be putting some distance between ... (read in full...)
Ladies, how would you react to your boyfriend sending you flowers?
Q. Hi All Ive been dating quite a while now, things are good generally I do get her the occasional 'just because' gifts, her fave choccies, an engraved pen when she started a new job etc- nothing too overboard though. I would like to get h...
A. 13 April 2016: You could ask her if she likes that sort of thing. For all we know she may just be talking about the days' events.
As for the women cooing, I suspect they're all doing that because they think it's expected of them. Really, what else can they say... (read in full...)
Should I stay with the boyfriend I met on facebook? He was taking drugs so I broke up with him.
Q. I was with my boyfriend for 44 days. I started dating him over facebook. I didn't know what he looked like so we met up and kept meeting then he asked me out. I dumped him because he was taking drugs, getting garried (a pill you swallow and it m...
A. 13 April 2016: Yes, he's trying to pressure you. BIG TIME.
As the others have said, this is emotional blackmail. Do yourself a favour and just block and delete him. There are plenty of losers in the world, so no need to settle for this one. ... (read in full...)
Ladies, how would you react to your boyfriend sending you flowers?
Q. Hi All Ive been dating quite a while now, things are good generally I do get her the occasional 'just because' gifts, her fave choccies, an engraved pen when she started a new job etc- nothing too overboard though. I would like to get h...
A. 13 April 2016: Years ago my boyfriend at the time sent me flowers at work for my first day on the job. I didn't appreciate being made a spectacle of and having my private life made public. My new colleagues all thought he was 'so sweet' but I was furious (and too ... (read in full...)
My ex gave a weak excuse for breaking up
Q. Dear cupid I think my boyfriends excuse for breaking up with me is a cop out and that he won't tell me the real reason why he wanted to break up. He told me that he wanted to break up because of how neglectful I was the first 3 months of our re...
A. 5 April 2016: OP, being busy isn't something you did wrong that you owe him for. It was your life circumstances at the time and it was in his power to choose to stick it out and move on. You don't owe him penance.
Second, he doesn't have to offer any explanat... (read in full...)
Why did he want to meet me if he turned out acting the way that he did?
Q. I dated a guy who had a little thing for a coworker and it turned into a messy situation and our relaitonship was on and off again and during some of the off times he would try and pursue this coworker of his. Anyways long story short.., I felt a ...
A. 5 April 2016: I agree with CindyCares and will add this: old baggage with a person is not an excuse to toss basic courtesy out the window. When someone, anyone, has to change or cancel plans with you it's nosy and bossy to press for explanations and ... (read in full...)
I like him a lot. How can I show him I'm worth a chance?
Q. ive joined a dating site about a month ago i got chatting to a lovely guy we met up had a great date and made plans to meet again. I took my profile off public so i wouldnt get messages off anyone else , but this dating site is saying I'm online w...
A. 4 April 2016: A month in is way too soon to be dealing with trust issues.
To be honest, I'd let this one go. When you start out in a deficit (real or imagined) you can never dig yourself out of the hole.
... (read in full...)
She still wanted to spend time together but not romantically, so did I do the right thing in ending it?
Q. Did I do the right thing, an ex an me got back to get her, after four years she said at first let's have fun no commitment, I said ok,but we started shopping together movies going out dancing nice places to eat I was staying the nights, then after ...
A. 3 April 2016: I think no contact was the right course of action if you're feelings for her are such that you can't be just friends.
It's doubtful that she's stringing you along or deliberately playing games with you, but her expectations are unrealis... (read in full...)
Why is my BF of 2 years suddenly expressing concerns about my high sex drive?
Q. I've been dating a man who is 10 years older than me for the past couple of years. It's been a good relationship. The sex is especially good and has been since the beginning. He has always loved my passion and energy and that I have a high sex ...
A. 3 April 2016: Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
He enjoys you, and the sex but he feels pressure (real or imagined) to live up to the standards set from the start. He believes you have certain sexual expectations and he's been trying to keep living up to them.... (read in full...)
What do I do? My BF refuses to stop talking to a girl he had a crush on before meeting me.
Q. So I moved in with my boyfriend in the end of OCT . It was love at first meeting and a very quick move in together. He moved me in on his birthday of all things and said I was the best birthday gift ever. Well since then Ive had to wade through ...
A. 1 April 2016: I was unable to get through all this. Like Honeypie says, get your own place and leave this guy far behind you. Don't even keep in touch with him as 'friends'.
I don't trust him not to make things messy, so don't give him any warning. Just fin... (read in full...)
Should my stepbrother and I date in secret? Our parents have told us that we can't.
Q. me and my step brother like eachother but my step mom and my dad have set us tow down and said we cant date but i want to know if we should date secertly or not ...
A. 28 March 2016: I'm surprised that you would need anyone to specifically forbid you to date one another.
You're step siblings, which by it's very nature means you're off limits to one another. I know there is no biological risk of inbreeding here, but it's sti... (read in full...)
Were we wrong to offer? Why did she not tell her husband about the invitation and the arrangements to attend the wedding?
Q. My aunt and I have always been close- she is 12 years older than me so more like a big sister than an aunt. A few years ago she moved to America with her husband and son due to her husband's job. Of course I missed her and we kept in touch and I w...
A. 28 March 2016: I agree with Honeypie. For reasons she doesn't feel comfortable discussing (or perhaps admitting) she doesn't want to come.
It could very well be a weight gain, a recently developed fear of flying, overall anxiety, or something else entirely... (read in full...)
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