Should my stepbrother and I date in secret? Our parents have told us that we can't.
Q. me and my step brother like eachother but my step mom and my dad have set us tow down and said we cant date but i want to know if we should date secertly or not ...
A. 28 March 2016: I'm surprised that you would need anyone to specifically forbid you to date one another.
You're step siblings, which by it's very nature means you're off limits to one another. I know there is no biological risk of inbreeding here, but it's sti... (read in full...)
Were we wrong to offer? Why did she not tell her husband about the invitation and the arrangements to attend the wedding?
Q. My aunt and I have always been close- she is 12 years older than me so more like a big sister than an aunt. A few years ago she moved to America with her husband and son due to her husband's job. Of course I missed her and we kept in touch and I w...
A. 28 March 2016: I agree with Honeypie. For reasons she doesn't feel comfortable discussing (or perhaps admitting) she doesn't want to come.
It could very well be a weight gain, a recently developed fear of flying, overall anxiety, or something else entirely... (read in full...)
Dumped by a cowardly text!
Q. Hi I am hoping for some guidance with something that has happened to me this week. My boyfriend of a year dumped me by text. It was literally a line saying lets call it a day, following a couple of harsh texts between us. Ironically, I act...
A. 27 March 2016: I don't think your texts 'inappropriate' so much as I think they were pointless.
Obviously I'm not there to see what who did to whom, but being long distance means you're not going to have the in person time together that local relation... (read in full...)
Why would he seem into me and then dump me and accuse me of something I didn't do?
Q. Dear Cupid; I recently met a man from an on-line dating site. After our first meet and greet, he said he really liked me and would like to pursue a relationship and said how about if we both delete our dating profiles, which we both did. We w...
A. 27 March 2016: I think his suggestion that you both delete your profiles after one date was a red flag. He hardly knew you, you'd only met once, yet his friend (who presumably knew you even less than he did) somehow found a profile that, without a photo,... (read in full...)
He seems flaky. Is he not that interested or just bad at keeping plans?
Q. I met this guy through a mutual friend 2 weeks ago.The first time we arranged to meet up, he flaked on our plans. Basically, we arranged to meet up after 6 pm when he gets off work.I texted him earlier that day and said "hey" but he didn't respond. ...
A. 27 March 2016: Let's not make this a sweeping generalization about guys, especially when you already know the answer.
This guy is just plain rude. So much so that he's quite comfortable leaving you guessing. Shyness is not an excuse. I was incredibly shy when... (read in full...)
How can I deal with this rejection?
Q. For the past 3 months me and this guy have been getting really close, he told me he started falling for me in the first month and I've never had a relationship before so I said to him I don't know what I want because I've never done this , I just ...
A. 26 March 2016: However nicely you put it and regardless of how valid and entitled to guard yourself you are, you did reject him. For me, all my feelings for that person might not vanish in an instant but the process of detachment begins immediately and it may do ... (read in full...)
I lost 42 pounds and gained confidence. Why are people now so mean?
Q. Hi guys. I'm struggling at the moment as I'm quite a sensitive person and I've always wanted to be liked by everyone. This means that sometimes I give people more effort or time than they would give me and I take comments people make quite perso...
A. 26 March 2016: Sometimes we just outgrow one another and that seems to be the case here. The shy, chubby you was the you they knew and could relate to. This new and improved you is someone different (to them) and they don't really know what to make of you.
It so... (read in full...)
Dumped by a cowardly text!
Q. Hi I am hoping for some guidance with something that has happened to me this week. My boyfriend of a year dumped me by text. It was literally a line saying lets call it a day, following a couple of harsh texts between us. Ironically, I act...
A. 26 March 2016: Leave it be. Let him reach out to you in the coming days or weeks. If you don't hear from him by then you know for certain it's done. There isn't anything you can say you haven't already said and repeating it all again just makes it worse. Unle... (read in full...)
Why do people think pretty girls are dumb?
Q. I do not consider myself "hot" i just know how to use make up. A lot of people who don't know me that well think I am really dumb but i am really a proud member of the "nerd herd" as they call us at my school. also why do people make fun of those...
A. 25 March 2016: People don't think pretty girls are dumb.
Folks think people who act dumb, who do dumb things are dumb. ... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend said I was too comfortable in the relationship
Q. My ex boyfriend broke up with me because he felt I was too comfortable in the relationship and Those were his own words. In a way I kind of saw where he was coming from, but for the most par lt I don't really understand. He and I always said thin...
A. 25 March 2016: 'Too comfortable' suggests to me that he felt taken for granted. That you relied on him never to leave you so you didn't have to make the same effort.
This is not about how many favours you did for him or how much attention you paid him, but how ... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship and me being told I'm over thinking everything!
Q. I am in my 30s and am in my first relationship for 3 years. I have never got into a relationship earlier because I tend to have a high expectations of people and my insecurities. During this time when I am in a relationship, I realized that I have a ...
A. 24 March 2016: I think you could initiate outings together, fun things, but resist the temptation to get into discussions about your feelings and what you believe to be her failures in the relationship.
Be the person you were when you were first dating. ... (read in full...)
Should I wish my ex-date happy birthday?
Q. Three months ago, I dated a man for one month. We spoke every day and went on 6 six dates which were all wonderful. After the last date, the following week he seemed to be withdrawing then coming back. It left me unsure of his feelings so I chose to ...
A. 24 March 2016: I think it looks a bit desperate that you even still have his number.
Let him go. ... (read in full...)
Should I help my son financially?
Q. My son is 28, and has basically never worked. I'm soooo disappointed in him, I can't begin to say. He hasn't spoken to me in over a year.He doesn't respond to phone calls, emails, texts, or anything. He thinks I belittle him because when I was i...
A. 22 March 2016: Nope. If Daddy isn't good enough to talk to then he isn't good enough to take money from.
Don't mention work or anything else you think he should be doing. It's just broken record stuff. He has the right to live his own life...and to pay for it h... (read in full...)
Why would a guy come back after turning him down for sex?
Q. I was talking to guy about 6 months ago who made it plain the first time around he only wanted a hook up through his actions. He didn't verbally tell me but his actions indicated that he just wanted to hook up. He brought up sex in our first ...
A. 22 March 2016: I'm with the others. He's just sniffing around again.
You've pretty much made it plain (by YOUR actions) that you haven't had any takers since you last spoke so maybe you'll be desperate enough to take him....this time on his terms.
I'd re-... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship and me being told I'm over thinking everything!
Q. I am in my 30s and am in my first relationship for 3 years. I have never got into a relationship earlier because I tend to have a high expectations of people and my insecurities. During this time when I am in a relationship, I realized that I have a ...
A. 21 March 2016: Thanks for the follow up, OP.
Honesty will be a big part of your self recovery. With that in mind you might want to ask yourself what YOU contribute to the relationship. I think you'll have to admit that a lot of what you consider to be signs of... (read in full...)
He wants my help obtaining a British passport renewal
Q. Hey Aunts, There is a guy I've been talking to on for 5 months. We get along quite well and he plans to come to our country for a visit this summer (his is part nationality here). We like each other, just not in-love and we talk on a variety of ...
A. 21 March 2016: RED FLAG
He can apply for a British passport, or a renewal from wherever he is. If I'd been talking to some guy for 5 months I would most definitely not entrust him with such a sensitive task.
It was totally inappropriate of him to ask and I... (read in full...)
They don’t push their son to do anything, and it feels like such a waste! What should I do?
Q. I know the first response to this question might be that it's none of my business, but any helpful suggestions will be appreciated! I know a couple, both 40 ( and 8 years older than me) and they have a 10 year old son. It seems like they really...
A. 21 March 2016: Has it not occurred to you that they may have tried similar things with the same results? Apparently you haven't made any progress with the boy so why are you blaming them? I strongly suggest you keep your uninformed opinions to yourself. Parent... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship and me being told I'm over thinking everything!
Q. I am in my 30s and am in my first relationship for 3 years. I have never got into a relationship earlier because I tend to have a high expectations of people and my insecurities. During this time when I am in a relationship, I realized that I have a ...
A. 21 March 2016: I agree with Maverick, except on one or two points.
I don't think you should ask your girlfriend to help you find a therapist. Each one will have their own style and speciality and you need to find the right fit for you. You may have to visit a ... (read in full...)
I don't know why he's become less friendly since our dates went so well! Advice appreciated!
Q. I am feeling very lost and confused. I've been on 4 dates with this guy and it was going so well, we messaged a few times a day for about a month and for the last week he's been taking ages to reply (as in 24 hours for a message when it normally ...
A. 21 March 2016: Asking what's wrong reeks of desperation. It tells him you have no other options and so little going on in your life that you are painfully aware of the passage of time since you last spoke. Plus it's also negative.
Leave it be and move on. If y... (read in full...)
Why is he not scared that I'll become pregnant?
Q. There's this guy that i am seeing that i had sex with on the third date, after that it has been once a week(everytime we meet). We have seen eachother for approximately 2-3 months. BUT, there is one thing i dont understand. He always comes inside o...
A. 19 March 2016: The pill is also compromised by use of some medications such as antibiotics, unless things have changed and that's no longer an issue. And remember that no contraception is 100% all of the time.
He's not overly concerned because he assumes ... (read in full...)
Who should pay more?
Q. My bf and I are living together, and I just got a job. MY Mother was helping with the expenses until now. I will be making 25,000 a year which is 2,083 a month. And my bf makes 40,000 a year. He wants to split all the expenses in half, but I ...
A. 18 March 2016: I thought your agreement before you even moved in was that he would pay the rent and you would pay for food and utilities. Has that changed?
Like the others I strongly recommend you NOT share a joint bank account. Couples I know of who get on v... (read in full...)
My ex contacted me months later to make amends
Q. I would like to get some advice on if I made the right decisions regarding my ex boyfriend. I am 22, he is 25. We were together 3 years and were friends for about 1 year before. All together I knew him for about 4 years, which is quite a long tim...
A. 18 March 2016: I think you made the right decision to cut ties. You can't be friends with him just to smooth over whatever guilt he may be feeling. It wouldn't be fair to you or his new girlfriend (who is unlikely to accept you as HER friend too). It's not unus... (read in full...)
Should I bother with a man who is always so busy?
Q. Met a guy and hes single with 3 young children who live with his ex. He works away all week comes back for the weekend. We went for a walk because i suggested it, chatted for a hour then i thought he might of said to go for lunch but he didnt, h...
A. 18 March 2016: Short answer: NO. If you're already put off by his teeth and finding his schedule a problem, then investing more of yourself is only going to lead to more dissatisfaction.
Quit while you're ahead. just quietly and gracefully bow out. ... (read in full...)
She's not sure what's stopping her from having a relationship
Q. just starting to see this girl we had an off and on ting going for a while. I love her very much she saying she wants to have a relationship with me but some thing is stopping her. she is unsure what it is she thinks I'm a really great guy and thin...
A. 18 March 2016: What's stopping her is she doesn't feel the same way about you that you do about her.
You look good on paper, as the saying goes. You're good to be around, intelligent, attractive enough but for some reason she doesn't feel the chemistr... (read in full...)
What should I do about this guy? Did I over-react?
Q. I recently started seeing a guy that i have known for quite a while (we attended the same school and live in the same town). He started chatting to me on Facebook after we had run into each other one night. He was always asking how i am, how wo...
A. 18 March 2016: I can understand why you'd be a bit concerned about the seemingly sudden change in communication and a bit annoyed by his surprise late night visits.
In my opinion, though, you did over react a bit and perhaps sent out some mixed signals of your ... (read in full...)
I found my cheating ex on a dating site again
Q. So I met a man across the country who lives in Seattle (I live in the east coast). He remained faithful for almost 2 years and before I flew out to see him I found out he was still on date sites and had dated several and hooked up with 2 (no sex). I ...
A. 18 March 2016: What difference does it make why a man would do this? Why does anyone do the things they do?
The question is why is he still in your life? And why are you still interested in meeting up with him?
Block and delete. Problem solved.
... (read in full...)
Would it be a bad idea to text him? There was no formal goodbye to our relationship
Q. I dated someone for a month, which ended two months ago. There was no formal goodbye. The communication just faded on his end. I never reached out again but I find myself thinking about him all the time. I was very attracted to him physical...
A. 18 March 2016: If moving on doesn't spell 'disinterested' I don't know what does. He hasn't spoken to you for two months and his dating profile is still active. Reaching out to him just looks desperate. ... (read in full...)
Do I let him go after he basically said I was fake?
Q. Im in a new relationship (3mths), we had our 1st big agrument Tue. Long story short, he was MIA for 5 hrs (phone dead) but I have expressed the need for communication and being accessible for each other (kids). Next day phone dead all day while he ...
A. 18 March 2016: His comments, while not flattering, are hardly a vile insult. He meant you changed from the woman he first met, the one who appeared to be easy going and confident.
He knew this incident, or one like it, was coming because of those changes ... (read in full...)
We’re back together so why is he on a dating site?
Q. I decided to dump my boyfriend but afterwards realised i didnt want to do it i was feeling low im much happier now , The thing is 2 week ago he said he wanted to give it another go and we made plans to meet but i was ill with tonsillitis so ...
A. 17 March 2016: Why do you think he's on a dating site? He's searching for other women.
Email him a link to his dating site profile, wish luck in his search, then delete him and block every means he has of reaching you.
... (read in full...)
Do I let him go after he basically said I was fake?
Q. Im in a new relationship (3mths), we had our 1st big agrument Tue. Long story short, he was MIA for 5 hrs (phone dead) but I have expressed the need for communication and being accessible for each other (kids). Next day phone dead all day while he ...
A. 17 March 2016: Someone in their 40's is old enough to remember what life was like before cell phones.
Would you expect anyone, let alone a man you were just dating, to run to a pay phone every 15 minutes just to make sure you knew he was thinking of you? Wou... (read in full...)
How do I deal with this girl whose nickname is my name?
Q. Hello. I met a girl this year at varsity she uses her nickname as my name. See, my parents gave me this cool name from birth and she liked the name before we met. Its a very rare name and it has many meanings in science. The problem is the girl ...
A. 17 March 2016: Stop indulging her by having the conversation. The more you talk, the weaker and less credible you'll sound.
'The same name they have always called me by....MY name' is the only answer you give. ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about my ex she has contacted me out of the blue and I don't wish to have anything to do with her
Q. Hello everyone. How are you all? Okay, so I'm not sure how this goes? First time here. I really need some advice. I, like many others had everything. Cutting a long story short. I lost it all. I got involved with a lady I should never ...
A. 11 March 2016: Do NOT answer her. Regardless of what you say responding to her is granting her the audience she obviously wants (or wanted at 2 in the morning anyway).
Besides, right now she doesn't really know what to make of you and what's become of you sinc... (read in full...)
Am I in the wrong because I don't want my jobless boyfriend moving in with me and depending on me to get him a job?
Q. My LDR BF said he wants to move in with me and asked me to find him a job at the company where I work. He has been working as a part time delivery boy for a local restaurant for about a year after I've known him. Then he hurt his toe and said he ...
A. 10 March 2016: Not in the wrong at all.
His family is understandably fed up of supporting him which is why they're so eager for him to move in with you.
Thankfully this is a LDR so he and his family are some distance away instead of just up the street.
... (read in full...)
It's over. Is going no contact the best way forward?
Q. My boyfriend yelled at me. In his words, not yell but was speaking curtly. He used expletives and went on about how he wants nothing to do with me. I am a little unnerved and shocked. Right now, I don't want to have any contact with him. I am tr...
A. 9 March 2016: If neither of you want anything to do with one another then 'no contact' would certainly be the way to go about it.
Block and delete.... (read in full...)
I'm speechless after my husband's reaction to my wearing my mother's ring!
Q. Hello! My mom, who was my best friend and to whom I had the closest relationship you could possibly imagine, passed away 5 years ago. A few days ago my dad gave me her engagent ring telling me she has always wanted me to have it. So- I have been ...
A. 7 March 2016: 'I think he is more embarrassed about not having bought you an engagement ring, that he ever let on, or that you realized.'
That is PRECISELY what all this is about. SVC had a good idea, you could wear it on the other hand if you wanted, but that... (read in full...)
I'm speechless after my husband's reaction to my wearing my mother's ring!
Q. Hello! My mom, who was my best friend and to whom I had the closest relationship you could possibly imagine, passed away 5 years ago. A few days ago my dad gave me her engagent ring telling me she has always wanted me to have it. So- I have been ...
A. 7 March 2016: No he doesn't have a point. His reaction was over the top and just plain weird.
Ignore him and enjoy the ring.
Sorry about your mum. ... (read in full...)
My Boyfriend has gone to Canada for the weekend. Should I be mad that he did this?
Q. So I've been with my bf of and on for the past two years he is 28 I am 32. Recently things have been really progressing with us it's been good. He has told me that he has wanted to take a trip to Canada and for financial reasons I am just strapped...
A. 6 March 2016: What is there to be angry about?
You're right next door to us so it's not like it has to be a once in a lifetime trip.
I don't see a big deal here. ... (read in full...)
I'm 8 months pregnant and boyfriend needs space. He's leaving me when I need him the most!
Q. Im 8 months pregnant and me and my boyfriend have not been getting on. Most of the time its down to him keep going out every weekend and come back rolling drunk the next day or so later. My hormones are all over the place too and I snap at ...
A. 4 March 2016: If the whole point of having your boyfriend stay is so he can help and be supportive then you might as well let him go and stay with his parents. He'll be no more useful to you at your home then he will be while at his parents' home and this way he ... (read in full...)
I feel I need to discuss the contact my girlfriend had with my best friend while I was away, in order to rebuild trust!
Q. When I was overseas last year my best friend began texting my girlfriend and making excuses to call around and visit, they both didn't tell me at the time, just before I got back my gf told me about it, she said some texts where inappropriate ...
A. 4 March 2016: Your girlfriend's earlier confession seems more like damage control to me, pre-empting you finding out some other way. Maybe she had a guilty conscience but only felt safe enough to confess some of it. Your friend is just as frugal with the truth. ... (read in full...)
Why does he treat me like a last priority?
Q. Its been two year i am dating my boyfriend. Last year when my birthday came,i thought he will plan something special for me. I went to his home and when i asked him " where is my birthday gift" . He said i don't have any, i am always like this and i ...
A. 4 March 2016: Ok, so your boyfriend doesn't appear to be investing much in this relationship, but I think you've been playing childish mind games.
It's very rude to ask where your birthday gift is. And it's ridiculous to say, when asked, that you want somethin... (read in full...)
He didn't offer his jacket--was I in the wrong to get upset?
Q. My guy and I have a lot of problems, one of them being that I feel he doesn't show he cares when it really matters. Today we were sitting in a classroom that was incredibly cold. I was taking a test online and couldn't leave the desk. At times I got ...
A. 1 March 2016: I think you were wrong as well. If he could leave his desk to get a jacket then so could you.
It just seems like you're fishing for things to be angry about so you can be the wronged party and he will spend eternity owing you. ... (read in full...)
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