He didn't offer his jacket--was I in the wrong to get upset?
Q. My guy and I have a lot of problems, one of them being that I feel he doesn't show he cares when it really matters. Today we were sitting in a classroom that was incredibly cold. I was taking a test online and couldn't leave the desk. At times I got ...
A. 1 March 2016: I think you were wrong as well. If he could leave his desk to get a jacket then so could you.
It just seems like you're fishing for things to be angry about so you can be the wronged party and he will spend eternity owing you. ... (read in full...)
Should I ask her to delete my contact information from her cell phone? Or if I ask her that I will show that I'm hurt?
Q. I used to go out with this girl, I was in love with her, hut she wasn't into me. One night we ended on her kitchen floor and I started caressing her hair and arm, i realized she got excited when I was doing that but she turned me down at that spot. ...
A. 1 March 2016: I don't see the point in asking her to delete your phone number from her contact list. This just opens up a conversation you're not up for having. She'll ask why you can't just be friends and tell you how selfish you're being (when really it's her ... (read in full...)
To parents of children or people who are childfree by choice. Do you regret your decision?
Q. I'd like to hear from people who have children and those who don't. Do you regret your decision or are you sincerely happy with your choice to become a parent or childfree? I have terrible mental illness genetics in my family line so I'm leaning ...
A. 29 February 2016: Since there is no medical test to diagnose a mental illness, I find it difficult to believe there is a way to map them genetically. Please, for God's sake, don't let this be a factor in your decision.
Besides, if your children leaned toward a... (read in full...)
Texting. Is there a difference between a big X or a little x in a text from a man?
Q. Hi I am 40 and been briefly texting a guy that I know. After our initial chat by text I text him again on Friday and we had a 4.5 hour chat by text and as we were having a drink his texts became more loose but nothing bad and eventually we stopp...
A. 28 February 2016: Yep. Definitely reading too much into this.
... (read in full...)
Finding a nice guy makes me want to run. Please help!
Q. I dumped my emotionally and verbally abusive BF about 4 months ago. I have absolutely no feelings towards him and am thrilled to get him out of my life. When I date, I tend to be a "woman who loves too much". Each relationship I have had ends in...
A. 28 February 2016: Your fear comes from not knowing how to handle the 'what ifs' so coming up with a flexible plan to deal with them would put those fears to rest.
I suppose an important first question is how do you feel about him? Interested but could take him or l... (read in full...)
We broke up in November but still coming to terms with it
Q. Hello everyone! So my boyfriend of 6 years ended our relationship back in november, just as we were about to move in together. We left it a few weeks then started meeting up again. But the past week he just ignored me, so I finished it. I don't d...
A. 28 February 2016: It's part of the healing process.
When you were first dating and becoming more and more serious, you invested in stages. Not in equal portions at equal and regular intervals. This is somewhat how the process of withdrawal works as well. In stage... (read in full...)
I met a woman on a dating site, we had a nice first date but now, she's stopped responding. Any advice appreciated!
Q. I need some advice here. So, I met this woman on OKCupid and we started writing to each other. I noticed that she logged in only once a week but she did respond whenever she logged in. The messages were also good. If I wrote 2 paragraphs her reply ...
A. 28 February 2016: I agree with the others in that it sounds like she's moved on so you should as well.
At this early stage I wouldn't even call what you had 'dating'. It's really a time to get to know people and while you seem to click online and over the phone fa... (read in full...)
Is my ex manipulating me?
Q. Dear cupid, is my ex boyfriend trying to manipulate me? My 3 year relationship ended several months ago. He told me he was no longer happy and that he met another woman and was very sorry for hurting me. Only about 3 weeks after our break up, he...
A. 28 February 2016: I second Honeypie.
He wants the best of both worlds, and while he may not be deliberately setting out to hurt you, he is definitely putting his wants over your well being.
He may want to soothe whatever guilt he carries over the break up and... (read in full...)
My ex has taken a shine to one of my closest friends
Q. My ex-boyfriend (of 2 years) and i broke up and its been rocky ever since (and by rocky i mean absolutely awful, one second we'll be joking around and then next were screaming at each other), he's now trying to get with one of my closest friends of ...
A. 28 February 2016: Don't tell him.
He won't believe it coming from you. He'll suspect you're making it up or even trying to sabotage his chances with someone else because you still have feelings for him. This might also give him false hope which may make him more... (read in full...)
Why why do girls dump guys who treat a girl like an angel?
Q. I wonder why ladies, I never hear a woman, talk about them dumping a nice guy, on here. I here all the time,How they get hurt, by the guy who treated them bad. It does happen all the time, a guy treats a woman fantastic. Then a woman, breaks t...
A. 28 February 2016: Instead of these sweeping open ended questions that are impossible to answer (and are really quite silly anyway), why don't we narrow this down to YOUR issue.
I'm guessing your lady friend still hasn't spoken to you since your rose petal dance. A... (read in full...)
Dating a 37 year old guy. How can I tell him to use anti- wrinkle cream in a nice way?
Q. So my boyfriend is 37, happy guy and it takes much to irritate him. Though he doesn't look far older than his age, his face wrinkles a lot especially when he smiles. I can't change this fact but it might at least be lessened if he uses moisturi...
A. 28 February 2016: I have to agree with the others. Telling him to use anti-wrinkle cream sounds very much like a perfectionist wanting to change someone.
If you were talking about a recent lack of hygiene, for example, I would sympathize, but fixating on his wrin... (read in full...)
What can I do about this situation? My male friend is too controlling
Q. My male friend is very controlling I think. He wants everything to be on his terms. He decides when and where we hang out. If he doesn't have time, we don't do anything and won't even try to compromise. I was having a party last week and he said...
A. 19 February 2016: You find that balance not by trying to convince him to change his investment but by changing yours. You don't need to announce anything, and you don't need permission.
In fact it's better if you don't announce anything and definitely don't do... (read in full...)
How do I overcome having serious trust issues?
Q. Ive just started a new relationship, 5mths. I have serious trust issue, mainly from ex relationships. How can I over come this ? I dont want to loose him we are really good together....
A. 19 February 2016: I think you need to tackle your trust issues from a different perspective.
I assume you think it's men you can't trust, but really it's YOUR own trust you must earn. You need to be able to trust in yourself that you will not expose yourself... (read in full...)
He's in a relationship but has feelings for me. What should we do?
Q. I have feelings for a guy - but he is in a relationship. However yesterday he told me he has feelings for me aswell. What do we do?!...
A. 19 February 2016: You do nothing.
Talk is cheap. If he wants you then he should break up with his girlfriend. If he won't then you know how strong his feelings for you are.
If he's willing to maintain ongoing contact with you under these circumstances th... (read in full...)
How do I politely tell this man that I don't wish to stay in contact?
Q. How do I let someone know politely that I don't want to be in contact with them any more? So there's a guy who I used to be kind of friends with in another city. I've met up with him a handful of times and we chatted occassionally on skype. For the ...
A. 17 February 2016: Being 'polite' won't work any more than hoping he'll get the hint will because people like him don't really care about others beyond getting what they want from them.
Save yourself the stress and grief and just block and delete him. You don't ne... (read in full...)
Should I worry about his Valentine blunder?
Q. My BF of 3 years had to work all day on Valentine's Day. He gave me my gift and we celebrated on Friday. Yesterday we had a quick chat while he was at work. He texted me, "Be my Valentine?", and I said "Yes" and asked if he will be mine. He sai...
A. 16 February 2016: I think you're taking it personally.
He wasn't able to spend time with you on Valentine's Day but made a special point to let you know how he felt about you.
It's nice to get a 'good night' text but not necessary. There was nothing wrong wi... (read in full...)
Confront the cad or befriend the heartbroken girlfriend!
Q. So, out of nowhere 6 months ago a random facebook friend stole my heart. He wished me a happy birthday, charmed me right off of my feet and for a few months after that we chatted incessantly, day and night. He's a world traveling performance artist ...
A. 16 February 2016: This girl has red flags all over her, to be honest. For one thing, we don't know if what she says is true or accurate. She might have a crush on him and may be reading way more into what is really just a friendship. And for another she sounds very ... (read in full...)
I've relocated and quit my job and now I'm afraid he'll run off with someone who can give him children
Q. Hi folks, I don't know if anyone has been in a relationship with some one younger, I have been for coming up 3 years. life is good, but one thing I'm young 44 just he's coming up 32. I have grown up kids he has none. when I met him he didn't ...
A. 5 February 2016: One mistake you've made here is once he expressed interest in having a child YOU did all the running around, gathering information and getting tests. He didn't lift a finger.
What I think you should have done was let him find his own doctor, ... (read in full...)
Does it make one a terrible person if he or she does not want to see someone else because they've been together with too many people sexually?
Q. Does it make one a terrible person if he or she does not want to see someone else because they've been together with too many people sexually? My boyfriend said it doesn't and shouldn't matter, but I feel like I wouldn't want to be with someone who ...
A. 5 February 2016: I second Honeypie.
You don't have to justify your preferences and if being with too many FOR YOU is a problem FOR YOU, then you owe it to yourself (and the other person) not to become involved only to have both of you suffer for it later.
... (read in full...)
Should I confess to my parents?
Q. i am 13 and I have been masturbating since I was 11 and my brother did masturbate and got caught and now he is not allowed any electronics so what should I do..... Should I tell them or what? ...
A. 5 February 2016: Let me clarify. If your brother was caught masturbating on webcam, filming himself or doing it in front of someone, then yes, I think they should have taken action (the prohibition of electronics makes me question).
If he was simply masturba... (read in full...)
Should I confess to my parents?
Q. i am 13 and I have been masturbating since I was 11 and my brother did masturbate and got caught and now he is not allowed any electronics so what should I do..... Should I tell them or what? ...
A. 5 February 2016: I don't think you should tell them. I don't see why they need to know if/when and how often you touch your own body, nor do I think your brother should have been punished.
You've got plenty of opportunities to get into trouble in the future, ... (read in full...)
Should I face this now? Or wait, to avoid the stress, until baby is born?
Q. In the next 7 week I will be at my due date with my first baby with my boyfriend. Over Christmas my brother fell out with my boyfriend, and my brother kept telling me to dump my boyfriend as he wasn't what I thought he was and I'd be better m...
A. 31 January 2016: No rush to deal with this now. In fact I think it would do your relationship some good for your boyfriend to be kept on his toes for a bit. He's already far more attentive than he would be had this not happened. And the sooner you confront him the... (read in full...)
Am I just a "hopeful idiot?"
Q. I am a 54 Year Old Man in good shape and I believe I am considered attractive. I had the good fortune to meet an amazing woman 2 and a half years ago through work. She is a waitress and she is 32 years old. I have made a point to keep in contact ...
A. 29 January 2016: OP, the text does seem flirty, but it seems some of here have known folks who send these messages who don't mean to be flirty.
It's just a word of warning not to base your interpretation of any feelings for you on a text message. ... (read in full...)
My date was rude about his ex wife
Q. I have been talking to a guy online for a month. Yesterday he said his ex wife had put on a lot of weight after two children going up to a UK size 14 (12 USA) and that he struggled to find her attractive and things went downhill after that. I said ...
A. 28 January 2016: He's given you a pretty strong clue about his character and maturity.
Cancelling the date the cutting ties with him is perfectly reasonable, in my opinion. ... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to propose to her on St Valentine's day? She never revealed earlier why she broke up with me, previously.
Q. We went out for a year and then she broke it off. After about 4 months we started seeing each other. We have been seeing each other for the past 2 months. I am not sure why she broke it off. I am a healthy 65 she is 54. She has never been marri...
A. 28 January 2016: A bit premature and I think you might overwhelm her or scare her off by making a big 'Valentine's Day' production out of it.
What were her reasons for breaking it off? ... (read in full...)
Would it just be better for me to be on my own rather to be with someone who is never around?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together a few years and were best friends before we got together. Since moving in together the relationship has become totally stale, I can concentrate on my career from home as I'm self employed but he works ...
A. 28 January 2016: It sounds like you're already on your own, so you're right, you might as well make it official. That way you're free to pursue happiness instead of being bound to a ghost.
... (read in full...)
If I have to ask "where is this relationship going?" the answer is probably "nowhere".
Q. I am a 54 yo female, divorced for 6 years, no children. He is a 60 yo male, divorced for 5 years, he has a 20 yo son who lives out west, another son who lives away as a college freshman and a third son who lives with him who is a HS sophomore. ...
A. 28 January 2016: I have to agree with the others as well.
For someone to lose your number this many times says it all, I think. There is also the distance. Dean may like you and enjoy some mild flirty times but unless one or both of you make concreate plans to... (read in full...)
Am I just a "hopeful idiot?"
Q. I am a 54 Year Old Man in good shape and I believe I am considered attractive. I had the good fortune to meet an amazing woman 2 and a half years ago through work. She is a waitress and she is 32 years old. I have made a point to keep in contact ...
A. 28 January 2016: I agree with Honeypie.
Finish up with the divorce and let the dust settle. She doesn't need to be made a target by a vengeful ex wife or to be your anchor through what might become an acrimonious time. In other words, she doesn't need to be burde... (read in full...)
I lied to my boyfriend about my past to get his sympathy. Should I come clean?
Q. 3 years ago I was in a relationship with a guy it was a really difficult for me as the guy took me very casually and I took the relationship very seriously. initially I thought that I could change his habits and mend his ways but things got worse ...
A. 28 January 2016: I agree with janniepeg.
I don't know what it is about this that you think is a dirty secret. Is this a case of you telling your now boyfriend that you're a virgin when you aren't or something?
You were perfectly justified in keeping your pri... (read in full...)
Is this the end of the line?
Q. I met a man over two months ago and immediately entered into an intimate relationship and fell for him. He is 7 years my senior and at the moment he is working day till night all over the country so I never get to see him. Our last date was 2 we...
A. 26 January 2016: You don't need to understand his behaviour. You need to understand that not everyone you're attracted to is an ideal mate and act accordingly.
This arrangement is going nowhere. Even if the man cared for you a great deal, his schedule is not cond... (read in full...)
He loves using the internet. Am I wrong to distrust him when he wants to stay up late while I sleep?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating and living together over 3 Years, we have had a lot of problems but seem to hang on... I have troubles with trust because he is a internet addict, talks to other women in a way he should not and also has been on ...
A. 25 January 2016: I answered before your follow ups were published, but my advice is pretty much the same.
The trust issues you refer to are you learning to trust yourself to make the right choices.
You might be too focussed on whatever good there is in this... (read in full...)
He loves using the internet. Am I wrong to distrust him when he wants to stay up late while I sleep?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating and living together over 3 Years, we have had a lot of problems but seem to hang on... I have troubles with trust because he is a internet addict, talks to other women in a way he should not and also has been on ...
A. 25 January 2016: I agree with Honeypie.
Expecting him to go bed when you go to bed is unreasonable. Trying to control him will not make him trustworthy, but increasingly resentful and resistant.
Your trust issues are ultimately up to you to resolve. That's ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said he has too much invested in me. What does this mean?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years. We were talking the other day. Some what if's type of conversation. I asked him if he would ever leave me or leave me for someone else and he said he has everything he wants and needs fr...
A. 25 January 2016: Asking these kinds of questions is really a bad idea, OP. For one thing no one knows the future and no one can absolutely guarantee what they'll do or not do in circumstances unknown.
And for another it sounds VERY insecure, like you're fishing ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend has aspergers. How do I get him to open up?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend a while (he still lives with his parents hes 36 and has never lived on his own , he can afford to but i think its because he cant cope) and I've started to notice a lot of things about him that has made me think he's ...
A. 25 January 2016: OP, you should leave him alone when he wants time out whether he has Asperger's or not. The same applies to anyone else.
It might be a good idea to act as though he does have it so reading that book that was suggested here would be a good ide... (read in full...)
Why are my friends giving me the 'cold shoulder'?
Q. Is there a way to tell friends that they are not being good friends without screwing up the friendship? I have known this couple for a very long time, but in the last couple of years it feels like they have been giving me the cold shoulder: I i...
A. 25 January 2016: If this has been going on a few years then this couple might be content to just see you once a year and correspond occasionally throughout.
I would stop initiating contact with them, but be courteous and upbeat when if and when they contact ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend has aspergers. How do I get him to open up?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend a while (he still lives with his parents hes 36 and has never lived on his own , he can afford to but i think its because he cant cope) and I've started to notice a lot of things about him that has made me think he's ...
A. 24 January 2016: My advice is to stop trying to get him to open up. As you say he either doesn't know, in which case there isn't anything for him to open up about, or he is and knows he is but doesn't want to discuss it. In either scenario you pushing him ... (read in full...)
My husband is in prison but accuses me of cheating. He doesn't understand why I don't wish to be with him. He lied to me!
Q. If your husband had served a prison sentence for physically harming you but you forgave him and visited him and stood by him and he made you so many promises that these things would never happen again and he was going to give you a nice life and ...
A. 20 January 2016: It's good that you wised up and stopped visiting him, sending him money and showing any interest in him. My question is why is he still your husband?
Stop answering the phone when he calls and speak to an attorney.
This guy should be histor... (read in full...)
I don't know how to label myself!
Q. So I'm confused on what to label myself as and how to take a step towards my sexuality and getting to know people. First of, I'll admit that I'm bi. Yet, when I was looking at some types online I found the butch/femme lesbian type relationship and ...
A. 18 January 2016: I agree. Why label yourself at all?
Every one of us fits into more than one category. To like more than one thing, be it a food, a film or a personality type is normal.
If you're trying to describe yourself on a dating profile or somet... (read in full...)
At what point do I worry about what my husband is doing on facebook?
Q. Hello this is my first time posting in this website, I enjoy reading all the responses and questions which come up in the site. I guess now it's my turn. :) I will try to keep a long story short. I am 29 years old and my husband is 37. We have b...
A. 18 January 2016: Is there a way for YOU to regain HIS trust? HIS trust? Seriously??
OP, have you ever encountered something that was so WRONG for so many reasons and you were so incredulous that you were at a loss as to where to begin? Well, I'm having one of t... (read in full...)
He says he misses me but I don't believe him so I ende things. I'm feeling used
Q. was seeing a man off an on for several month . he moved to another state and moved again with his son in fla . at first it seems ok now that I have retired things seem not right . so I have been thinking back an I look up how a relationship should ...
A. 16 January 2016: You clearly weren't getting what you wanted out of the relationship and it didn't appear to be going anywhere so I think you made the right decision. ... (read in full...)
Am I an idiot to keep responding to him?
Q. Met a guy from a dating site 2 years ago. Met him on and off throughout and we just meet for sex. last time i saw him was about two months ago. I would of liked him to of wanted more then sex but i know he doesn't. The sex is alright but i know he ...
A. 14 January 2016: Yes and yes. I have to agree with Honeypie.
His agenda is so blatantly obvious, OP, there is no other way to read it.
I'm surprised you aren't bored with him already. ... (read in full...)
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